Fading Echoes: The Best Actor's Dying Regret

I have to shatter his heart one last time to save his future.

On the glowing screen of my phone, Xavier looks like a vengeance god carved from marble. Millions are watching as he asks the question that has haunted him for five years.

Why did you leave me? his voice cracks, raw and deep. Was it just because I was poor?

I look down at my own body in the dark. I am a skeleton wrapped in pale, paper-thin skin. Stage IV Leukemia has eaten everything that made me beautiful, but it hasn't eaten my love for him. If I tell him the truth, he will throw away his crown to rot in a hospital by my side.

So I force the monster to take the stage. I summon the shallow, heartless ex-girlfriend he believes I am.

"Xavier," I say, my voice trembling with a breezy, fake lightness. "Can you lend me fifty thousand dollars?"

The disgust in his eyes is instant. It is total. It is exactly what I need.

Click.

He hangs up. On the screen, he tells the world he has no regrets. He hates me now.

Good.

I close my eyes as a tear slides into my pillow. Now, I can finally die in peace.

Chapter 1

It is Xavier's first livestream interview since taking home the Best Actor trophy. Sitting next to him is Vivien, the lead actress who shared the screenand the glorywith him. The viewer count goes vertical. The server is barely holding on.

Taylor, the host, lobs the usual softball questions. Then, he leans forward, a conspiratorial grin splitting his face. "We're going off-script for a second. You two don't mind, right?"

"Not at all." Xavier is the picture of effortless charm.

"Great." Taylor's eyes gleam. "We want you to call the person who is your biggest regret. The one that got away. And tell us exactly what you regret."

Xavier goes rigid. The silence stretches, thick and suffocating. On the screen, the comment section turns into a blur of chaos.

Who is it? I need to know.

It can't be a romantic regret, right? Look at him. Who in their right mind would dump Xavier? They'd be on suicide watch.

I heard rumors. He got his heart shattered before he got famous. They say he only joined the industry to prove someone wrong.

"Xavier?" Taylor prods gently.

Xavier snaps back to reality, and a polite mask slides over his face. "Okay."

He pulls out his phone. His thumb hovers, then presses down.

I never thought he would call me. We broke up five years ago. Five years of absolute radio silence. I assumed he had deleted my number the second I walked out the door.

When my phone rings, a knot tightens in my chest. The vibration buzzes against the wood of the nightstand like a warning. I shouldn't answer.

I answer.

The line connects, but neither of us speaks. The silence is heavy. It feels like a century passes in a few seconds.

The livestream chat is losing its mind.

The tension is insane. Who makes Xavier silent?

Look at his hand holding the phone. His knuckles are white. He's gripping it like he wants to crush it.

Is it the ex? The one who broke him? I'm going to throw up from anxiety.

Just as I think he's going to hang up, his voice comes through. Low. Rough.

"Why did you leave me back then? Was it just because I was poor?"

The internet melts down.

OMG. My Best Actor was actually dumped?

Who is she?! Find her! Who is blind enough to walk away from him?

She must be regretting it so hard right now. Do not forgive her, Xavier. Do not.

I look down at my arm. It is wasted away. Skin stretched tight over bone, skeletal and pale. I force a shallow smile into my voice.

"Xavier, can you lend me fifty thousand dollars?"

On the screen, Xavier laughs. It is a dazzling, handsome smile. But it is so full of pain, it makes you want to look away.

Chapter 2

The comment section transforms into a wall of defense.

Don't smile for her. She isn't worth it.

Xavier, you are perfection. If she didn't cherish you, that is her loss.

Who is this woman? I want a name. I want an address. How dare she make him look like that?

Xavier kills the call. His expression shuts down instantly. The vulnerability vanishes, replaced by a mask of cold, untouchable marble.

"I don't have regrets anymore," he says to Taylor, his voice flat. "Just relief."

Taylor nods vigorously, seizing the narrative. "Life is a screening process. Some people are just dead weight. You cut them loose and you fly."

The chat floods with agreement. Mixed in with the support are the curses. Directed at me.

"Alright," Taylor says, pivoting the energy. "Vivien. You are up."

"Okay." Vivien smiles.

She doesn't hesitate. She pulls out her phone and taps a contact. A ringtone cuts through the studio air.

Xavier picks up his phone.

That is when the audience puts it together. She is calling him. Xavier looks at Vivien. She smiles, a soft, encouraging gesture, signaling him to answer.

The livestream chat explodes.

AHHHH! IS MY SHIP FINALLY SAILING?

Don't let me down. Xavier and Vivien are soulmates.

I love them so much. Vivien is so brave!

Xavier slides his finger across the screen.

"Xavier," Vivien says, her voice trembling. "I have waited for you for years. Through high school. Through university. From being extras in the background to standing here in the spotlight. From the moment you loved her until now."

Her eyes are rimmed with red. "Now that you have let her go can you finally let me in?"

Her voice is laced with humility. Sincerity. The fans go feral.

Say yes! Xavier, say yes!

She has been by your side for years. If you don't date her, love doesn't exist.

Xavier, accept her. Forget that heartless woman.

Xavier is silent. Vivien holds her breath. Tears shimmer in her eyes, threatening to spill.

"Okay," he says.

The moment the word leaves his lips, Vivien breaks. A single, perfect tear tracks down her cheek. Cinematic. Breathtaking. The studio erupts in congratulations.

In my dark room, the corners of my mouth lift. A quiet smile of relief. The livestream ends.

Buzz.

A notification lights up my phone screen.

Bank Transfer Received: $50,000.00.

I stare at the number. I never thought he would actually send it. But I don't send it back. I accept it. I need this money. Desperately.

For Xavier, maybe this was just closure. A final period at the end of a long, painful sentence. I never expected to see him again.

I certainly didn't expect him to walk into my hospital to shoot a drama.

Chapter 3

I am lying in my hospital bed when Stacy, the girl in the next bed, practically vibrates with excitement.

"Holy sht. Is that Xavier? Is Xavier actually filming here? I'm going to pass out. I want to go down there and ask for an autograph, but what if he looks at me like I'm dirt?"

Stacy is pressed against the window glass, her breath fogging it up. "He is even hotter in person than he is on TV. Elara, get your ass over here. You have to see this."

I shouldn't. But my body betrays me. I slide out of bed and join her at the window. A crowd swarms below, but Xavier cuts through the noise. He is impossible to miss. He is sitting in a folding chair, waiting for his scene. Vivien is right next to him, laughing at something he said.

"God, they are the ultimate power couple." Stacy sighs, a dreamy look on her face.

"Yeah."

They fit. Like two pieces of a puzzle.

"I wonder who that ex was. The one who fumbled him." Stacy's tone shifts to pure venom. "And then she had the audacity to ask him for money on a livestream? That is some trashy behavior."

Stacy won't stop talking. "She probably didn't know he was live. Now she knows. Bet she's crying into her pillow right now."

Suddenly, she gasps. "Oh my god. He's looking up. He sees me!"

Panic spikes in my chest. I spin around instantly, putting my back to the window. He didn't see me. He couldn't have.

"Elara. Bed 16."

A nurse walks in, clipboard in hand. "Your discharge papers are ready. You are free to go. Remember, monthly check-ups are non-negotiable. If you feel off, you come back immediately."

"Okay."

I strip off the hospital gown and pull on my street clothes. They hang loose on my frame. Stacy watches me, her expression wistful.

"I'm jealous. You get to leave."

"Don't be." I zip up my bag. "You still have hope."

"Me?"

I have nothing. Stage IV Leukemia. Diagnosed five years ago. My family is gone. No bone marrow match. No miracle cure. I am just waiting for the clock to run out.

I pack my life into a single tote bag and walk out of the hospital doors. That's when the hand clamps around my wrist.

I'm yanked sideways. The world spins. I'm shoved into the passenger seat of his car. The door slams shut. The lock clicks.

Xavier is staring at me.

"Elara." His voice is a low growl. "What the hell are you doing here?"

I try my hardest to keep my smile looking natural. "Would you believe me if I said I knew you were filming and I stalked you?"

Xavier flinches. Disgust floods his eyes. "What do you want?"

"I regret leaving," I say, gazing up at him with the most pitiful expression I can manage.

His brow furrows. "You ran out of money?"

"Caught me." I shrug, keeping my tone light. "Since you were generous enough to send fifty grand, I thought maybe you could spare a little more?"

The air in the car drops ten degrees.

"Why should I?" He is barely restraining his rage.

I lean forward. "How about a trade? I can keep you company for a few nights."

Xavier's face contorts. The vein in his temple throbs.

"Elara." He spits my name like it's poison. "You're vile. It makes me sick to look at you."

Chapter 4

Xavier storms off. I watch his back retreat until my vision blurs. Five years ago, leaving was a choice. Now, it is the only option I have left.

I step out of his car and stand on the curb, waiting for Jasper. When he pulls up, he is already apologizing.

"Sorry, Elara. Seriously. Work was a disaster." He grabs my bag and tosses it into the trunk.

"I told you I could get a cab."

"Not happening." He looks at me, dead serious. "Work isn't as important as you."

I don't argue. I slide into the passenger seat of his little sedan. As we pull away, Jasper glances at the rearview mirror.

"I swear I just saw Xavier."

My heart stutters.

"And he's gone." Jasper frowns. "That guy is really living the high life now, isn't he?"

"Yeah." I manage a weak smile.

"You sure you don't want to try and fix things? Get back together?"

"He has a girlfriend."

Jasper takes a deep breath and shuts up. He knows everything. Every detail of my history with Xavier. He knows there is no point in arguing.

When he drops me off at my apartment, I keep my voice casual. "Hey, when you have time, we need to go look at plots."

"Plots? Like for a garden?"

"Cemetery plots." I say it like I'm talking about buying groceries.

Jasper's eyes instantly fill with tears. He jerks his head away, staring out the window. "I'm slammed at work right now. Crazy busy. It might have to wait a while."

"Okay." I smile.

I don't call him out on the lie. He just said work wasn't as important as me. He just can't handle the fact that I'm dying.

Night falls. I drift into a restless sleep, only to be jolted awake by my phone ringing.

"Jasper." I answer without looking at the screen. It is late. He is the only person who would call me. He is the only friend I have left.

"Waiting for him?"

The voice on the other end is ice cold. Xavier. My stomach drops to the floor. I never thought he would call again. Not after today. I thought I had been cruel enough to drive him away for good.

"I'm at the bar on 4th. I'm drunk. Come get me."

"Xavier"

Click.

He hangs up. I stare at the phone for thirty minutes. Then I call a cab.

2:00 AM. The streets are dead. When I get there, the sidewalk is empty. I stand under a flickering streetlamp, looking up at the sliver of a crescent moon.

I feel strange. Relieved, maybe. Relieved that this was just revenge. A prank to waste my time. Relieved that he doesn't actually care.

I turn to leave.

"Elara."

The voice stops me dead. Low. Familiar.

I turn. He is standing in the darkness. He looks like a man abandoned by the universe. Shattered.

Chapter 5

The pain hits me like a physical blow. It drags me back. Five years ago. Same street. Same biting cold. He was clinging to me. Begging.

His eyes were red, rimmed with desperation. "I will make it, Elara. I swear. I will be famous. I will make so much money. I will give you everything. Just give me time. Please. Just a little more time."

I was ice. Cruel. Ruthless. "Xavier, I am done. I am sick of the basement. I am sick of instant ramen. I am sick of treating a scrap of meat like a holiday feast. I am tired. Even if you become a king, I won't regret walking away today."

He stood on the corner. He watched me get into Jasper's car. He looked shattered. That image has haunted me for five years. I have lost count of the midnights I woke up with tears soaking my pillow.

"Do you really regret it?" he asks.

He is asking if I regret leaving him. I look at his eyes. They are bloodshot. Is it grief? Is it rage? I can't tell.

I open my mouth to answer. His hand clamps over my mouth. The skin of his palm is rough against my lips. I stare at him, wide-eyed.

"I don't want to hear a single word from you," he says. His voice is ice.

He grabs my wrist. He drags me to his car and shoves me into the passenger seat. I sit there. Silent. A ghost. I don't know what he wants. I don't know where we are going.

"You aren't going to ask?" He stares straight ahead at the road.

I almost laugh. Didn't he just tell me to shut up? But I don't fight him. When you are dying, everything becomes very clear. Very simple.

"Xavier," I say softly. "I never imagined I would sit in a car this expensive."

His knuckles turn white on the steering wheel. Silence stretches for a long minute.

"You just weren't meant for it," he says. Cold. Cutting.

"Yeah."

I really didn't.

The car stops. I stare at the unfamiliar garage. I don't move.

"What? Do you need me to open the door for you too?" His tone is dripping with sarcasm.

"Xavier"

He rips my door open. He drags me out. Into the elevator. Up.

His apartment. A penthouse. Floor-to-ceiling glass overlooking the entire city. The lights below look like stars.

I remember that winter. Huddled in the basement, shivering in his arms. I want a huge house, I had whispered, teeth chattering. With glass walls so I can see the city. And heating so strong I can walk around naked in December.

He did it. He made it happen.

I stand in the middle of the massive living room, feeling small. Out of place. Xavier pushes me. I stumble back onto the sofa.

He follows me down. His heavy frame settles over me, caging me against the cushions.

"Elara," he whispers, his face inches from mine. "You chose this."

"No"

I push against his chest. I don't want this. I don't want to leave his world like this. A transaction. A moment of weakness.

Chaos erupts in the room.

Chapter 6

Suddenly. Xavier's phone rings. The sound is sharp. Urgent. It slices through the haze in the room.

He ignores it. Then he answers.

"Xavier." Vivien's voice is shaking. She is crying. "I had a nightmare. I dreamt you left. I'm so scared. Where are you? Please come. I need you. Xavier please."

He pulls away from me. The loss of contact is instant. Cold. He dresses in silence. He doesn't look at me. He walks out the door without a backward glance.

I lie on the sofa. My skin is pale. My hands are shaking. I look at my phone. The call log shows an outgoing call to Vivien.

I get up. I dress. I smooth out the wrinkles on the sofa, erasing the evidence of what almost happened. I try the door. Locked. From the outside.

I am trapped. I lean against the wood, defeat washing over me. When will he come back? What will he do when he does?

I wander through the apartment. It is a museum of a life I don't belong in. I walk into his bedroom. On his desk, there is a leather-bound notebook. A diary.

I didn't know he wrote. I hesitate. My fingers hover over the cover. I open it.

January 12, 2018

Elara left. She left with Jasper. Promises are bullsht.

February 12, 2018

One month. I called her. Jasper answered. He said he would treat her right. He told me to stop bothering her. He said a girl like Elara shouldn't have to suffer with me. He is right.

July 12, 2018

Six months. I got a script. Second male lead. It is the role I dreamed of. But I don't feel anything. The person I wanted to tell isn't here.

January 12, 2019

One year. I bury myself in work. If I am someone else, I don't have to be me. I don't have to remember.

May 27, 2019

Five hundred days. It is her birthday. Is she happy? Is she married to Jasper? Does she have kids? I hope she is happy.

January 12, 2020

Two years. Filming in Savannah. Elara always talked about coming here. She wanted a place where spring never ends. She wanted to sit in the old squares and listen to the rain. Feed the pigeons under the live oaks. I want to tell her. The scenery isn't that beautiful without her.

March 15, 2020

Two years, two months, three days. I am everywhere. TV. Ads. Movies. Does she see me? Does she regret it? No. She said she would never regret it.

October 18, 2020

Two years, seven months, six days. The wire snapped on set. I fell. I thought I was going to die. When I woke up, all I wanted was Elara. I wanted to tell her I have money now. No more basement. No more ramen. We can eat whatever we want. I won't let her suffer anymore.

I went to find her. But I couldn't walk up to her. I saw her with Jasper. They had grocery bags. They were laughing. Walking into his apartment. I was thirty feet away. She didn't see me.

Chapter 7