I Sold My Exes to My Roommate

Damaged goods. Kenzie spits the words out like poison. She knows I am juggling three backups. To her, my love life is just a sick joke.

I honestly feel bad for your future husband, she sneers. Imagine emptying his savings for a wedding, only to realize he is stuck with a wife who is damaged goods.

I do not flinch. I let the silence choke the air between us.

"So," I say, my voice dead calm. "You want me to pass one of them off to you?"

Kenzie freezes. Her eyes snap wide.

Chapter 1

"Thats isn't that a little inappropriate?"

Kenzies eyes darted around, feigning hesitation, but the air above her head told a different story. Glowing comments floated in the empty space, scrolling like a live chat stream only I could see.

[Kenzie, don't hesitate! The villainess's roster isn't full of average guys.]

[A stoic CEO, a bad-boy racer, and a billionaire heir. Rich, hot, and eight-pack abs. I don't even dare dream of a lineup like this.]

[Hehe, it's so satisfying thinking about Kenzie feasting on the catch the villainess worked so hard to reel in.]

[Can't wait to see Kenzie with her harem, slapping Sloane in the face. Sloane is going to go mad with jealousy and die of regret.]

Kenzie's expression shifted. Shock. Disbelief. Then, it settled into pure, unadulterated greed.

"You have three, right?" She licked her lips. "I'll take them all."

She said it with the casual arrogance of someone picking out discount produce at a farmers' market.

I let out a short, cold laugh. "Three at once? Youll choke," I said. "I'll transfer one to you first. Once youve totally locked him down, we can discuss the other two."

Kenzie hesitated, weighing her options, then nodded. "Fine. But don't you dare come crying to me when you regret this later."

"I won't," I said. "Fifty thousand dollars for the contact. Cash only."

Kenzies jaw dropped. Her eyes bugged out. "You're charging me? Fifty grand? You might as well rob a bank!"

I shrugged, keeping my face perfectly bored. "Okay. Forget it then."

The floating comments instantly panicked.

[Don't do it, Kenzie! Opportunity doesn't knock twice!]

[The male leads are worth billions. What's a measly fifty grand? Once you snag them, ten billion is pocket change.]

[The villainess is so short-sighted. Poor people really have no class. If she knew she was selling a billionaire for fifty k, she'd bang her head against the wall.]

Kenzie gulped audibly.

"Okay," she said, her voice trembling slightly. "Fifty thousand. Deal."

Chapter 2

It took Kenzie a week to scrape the money together. By then, I had already curated the perfect fish to transfer into her tank.

"Caleb. Twenty-one. Six-foot-two. Eight-pack abs," I listed the specs like I was reading a car manual. "Student at the university next door. Average background. We met gaming."

I continued, voice flat. "He buys me boba occasionally. Gifts are strictly under twenty bucks. Parents are divorced, so hes sensitive. Needy. You have to make him feel safe."

I handed over the game account and the burner social media login. "I played the gentle, submissive girlfriend role with him. Don't break character."

I gave her the full user manual. After all, satisfaction guaranteed, and no scams here.

The air shimmered with text.

[Hahaha! The villainess still thinks the male lead is a broke college student. Our Caleb just hates gold diggers, that's why he plays the pauper.]

[Thinking about Sloane sweating over a few bubble teas while Kenzie gets everything without lifting a finger God, it makes me want to let out a lewd, wicked cackle.]

Kenzies lips curved upward. She snatched the account details and changed the passwords immediately. She shot me a provocative look.

"Sloane, once I lock him down, don't you dare regret this."

I smiled, the picture of patience. "Of course I won't. I just hope you don't come crying to me."

Kenzie scoffed and ignored me. She dove straight into the phone, logging in to message Caleb.

For the next while, Kenzie was surgically attached to her screen. If she wasn't texting Caleb, she was gaming with him. According to the floating comments, things were progressing nicely.

Caleb hadn't realized the player behind the screen had changed. Kenzie was meticulously erasing my traces, guided by the omniscient advice of the stream, working hard to conquer him.

Two weeks later.

Kenzie walked into the dorm. My eyes went straight to her neck. A diamond necklace. Blinding.

Catching my stare, Kenzie lifted her chin, unable to suppress the smirk. "Caleb bought it for me," she bragged. "I looked it up online. It's worth over three hundred grand."

I nodded. "It's pretty."

Kenzie sighed, a theatrical sound of confusion. "Ugh, honestly, I don't get men. You're pretty and smart, and you spent so long with Caleb. And what did he get you? Cheap boba."

She touched the diamonds. "I'm clumsy and plain, and I've only been chatting with him for two weeks. Yet he sends me this."

She tilted her head. "Why do you think that is?"

It wasn't a mystery.

"Obviously," I said, my voice deadpan. "Because he was pretending to be poor in front of me."

Chapter 3

I knew Caleb was loaded from day one. I wouldn't have wasted my time otherwise.

We met in an MMORPG. That game's ecosystem has two types of people: Whales who drop seven figures without blinking, and grinders like me who boost accounts to pay rent. Caleb was the former. I was the latter.

One look at his avatar and I smelled money. His character was decked out in god-tier gear that cost at least eight figures. Love at first sight? More like ROI at first sight.

I moved in for the kill immediately. Daily dungeon runs, "good morning" and "good night" texts, feigning concern for his well-being. One night, he trauma-dumped about his broken family.

I slotted perfectly into the role of the gentle, nurturing savior, soothing the moody, unloved boy.

Maybe he was paranoid about gold diggers. He crafted a meticulous persona: broke college student, average grades, average face. Hed constantly fish for validation.

"Sloane, am I really worth it? I'm just so ordinary. I'm terrified you'll see the real me and be disappointed. That you'll leave."

Id roll my eyes at his glowing, million-dollar armor while typing sweet nothings. Buddy, you drop the GDP of a small country on pixels. Do you think we don't see the receipts?

He didn't even realize the massive plot hole in his acting.

"How could I?" I typed back, syrupy sweet. "You're my special puppy. I'd never leave you."

Caleb was committed to the bit. He was aggressively cheap. He ordered me generic, off-brand boba. His gifts screamed "99-cent store" or "free shipping on Temu."

But he had a silver tongue, carried me in ranked matches, and sent the occasional thirst trap of his abs. So, I tolerated him. Briefly.

Until the accident.

I was rushing between gigs on my e-scooter and ate pavement. I slammed into a guardrail and fractured my right leg. A Good Samaritan hauled me to the ER.

Between the X-rays, the cast, and the follow-ups, the bill came to over five thousand dollars.

I didn't have that kind of cash. Desperate, I snapped a photo of my leg in the hospital bed and texted Caleb, playing the victim card hard.

"Babe, can I borrow some money? It's an emergency. I'll pay you back as soon as I heal!"

The result? Radio silence.

For a whole month, Caleb didn't reply. If I hadn't hooked another fish just in time to cover the bill, I wouldve been walking with a limp for the rest of my life.

He didn't pop back up until I was fully recovered and discharged.

"Good morning," he texted, sharing a mundane daily update like he hadn't left me on read while I was in agony.

What a piece of trash. Why didn't you just wait to send flowers to my grave?

I wanted to dump him then and there. But you don't just dump a whale without an exit strategy. Guys with that kind of money can make your life hell if you bruise their ego.

So, I played nice. I kept up the charade while shifting my focus to other fish in the pond. He must have sensed the drop in temperature. Calebs possessiveness spiked. He started clinging, demanding attention, and insisting we finally meet offline.

Chapter 4

That wasn't happening. Online was online. Reality was reality. I kept my worlds separate. I was trying to formulate an excuse when Kenzie stepped up to take out the trash.

Good for her. If she could pry money out of Caleb, she earned it. I didn't get jealous of other people's hustles. I got my fifty grand. I was good.

Realizing she couldn't provoke a reaction, Kenzie stopped gloating. "By the way, Caleb wants to meet offline. He told me to bring the whole dorm. He wants to treat everyone to dinner to get to know you."

Kenzie looked at me, her eyes gleaming with malice. "Sloane, you're free the day after tomorrow, right?"

The air filled with scrolling text.

[Omg yes! The face-slapping scene I've been waiting for!]

[The villainess thinks the male lead is average. Wait until she sees our Baby Caleb is a supermodel god. She's going to crack.]

[Wait, I'm worried. What if Sloane tries to steal him back?]

[Relax. Kenzie has him hooked. Even if he finds out the truth, he'll choose Kenzie without hesitation!]

[If the villainess tries anything, the male lead will protect his wife and crush her!]

I intended to decline. Then Kenzie mentioned the door prize. Caleb had prepared a meeting gift for every roommate. A gold chain for each of us.

I was instantly rooted to the spot. God, I loved capitalism.

The day of the dinner.

I wore no makeup. Just a plain T-shirt and jeans. I sat in the farthest corner, blending into the wallpaper to ensure I didn't steal a single lumen of Kenzie's spotlight.

The door opened. Caleb walked in.

I looked up instinctively. Pale skin. Refined features. But it was the atmosphere that shifted. He didn't carry himself like a student. He carried himself with the cold, detached arrogance of someone who owned the building.

The air in the room grew heavy, bending toward his gravity. It made sense. You don't drop eight figures on a video game unless you have "old money" written into your DNA.

I looked back down at my phone. Calebs gaze swept the room. It locked onto me for a split seconda physical weightbefore sliding away.

Kenzie bounced over to him, radiating artificial warmth. "You're late," she cooed. "Punishment: You have to peel my shrimp."

She reached out to hold his hand. He sidestepped. A smooth, fluid motion that left her grabbing air.

"Sorry I'm late," Caleb said. His voice was polite but temperature-zero. "I brought gifts. Thanks for taking care of my girlfriend."

He scanned the table. "Kenzie, aren't you going to introduce your roommates?"

"Of course."

Kenzie introduced the extras first. Then she turned to me. "This is Sloane. Our campus queen."

She smiled, a razor-thin expression. "She's pretty and smart. Loads of guys chase her. She's actually amazingshe used to juggle three backup boyfriends at the same time."

Caleb froze. "Three?"

I looked up. I met his dark, unreadable eyes. I smiled politely. "Correction. It's only two now."

Caleb stared at me. He didn't blink. The air pressure in the room dropped effectively to a vacuum. The silence was deafening.

Thankfully, a waiter arrived with the appetizers, breaking the tension before we all suffocated.

During the meal, Kenzie performed. She demanded he serve her food. She demanded he peel her shrimp. She acted the part of the spoiled princess.

I kept my head down. I shrank into my corner, eating absentmindedly and replying to messages on my phone.

Suddenly, a shadow fell over me. My phone was ripped from my hand.

Chapter 5

I looked up. Caleb was watching me, his expression terrifyingly calm.

"Why are you always on your phone?" he asked softly. "Is the food not to your taste?"

Zero boundaries. I frowned, staying silent. I just held out my hand, palm up, demanding my property back.

Caleb didn't even glance at my hand. His eyes were glued to my screen. "What are we looking at? Mind showing me?"

The air in the room curdled.

Kenzie looked between us, suspicion dawning. She tried a tentative laugh. "Sloane barely eats anything. Don't worry about her, Caleb. Let's just enjoy our"

Caleb didn't even blink in her direction. He stared at me, enunciating every word like a hammer strike.

"Who. Are. You. Chatting. With?"

Uh oh. Even the dense would feel the shift in gravity now.

Kenzie's voice trembled. "Caleb, what is going on? You've been staring at Sloane since you walked in. You're ignoring me. Do you want to be with me or not?"

Caleb shot her a look of pure disdain. "Do you actually think I'm stupid enough," he said, voice low, "to not know who I've been talking to this whole time?"

The air above them exploded with text.

[??? What the hell? The male lead figured it out?]

[Excuse me? He dares reject Kenzie? Scum man, I want to see him grovel!]

[Did the villainess seduce him in secret? Did she tell him?]

[Fck, that btch. So manipulative.]

[She was hiding in the corner on purpose! Playing hard to get to attract his attention. What a schemer!]

Kenzie went pale. She tried to salvage the sinking ship. "Caleb, what do you mean? It was me. Who else could it be?"

Caleb made a sound of impatience. A sharp tsk. He didn't bother explaining. He just issued a decree.

"Ten seconds. Take your roommates and get out. I might let this slide. If you don't"

He let the threat hang in the heavy silence. "You don't want to see me angry."

Kenzie's eyes reddened. She opened her mouth to argue, but Ashley and Brittanythe roommates with actual survival instinctsgrabbed her arms. They practically dragged her out of the room.

I hesitated for a second, wondering if I could slip out in their wake. Caleb stepped in front of me. A solid wall of muscle and expensive fabric.

His eyes were rimmed with red. His voice cracked, losing its icy composure.

"Just the two of us now. Can you explain?"

He stepped closer, backing me into the chair.

"Why give my account to your roommate? Why don't you want me anymore? You said I was your good puppy. Why do you have other backups behind my back?"

His voice rose, panic bleeding into the anger. He slammed the phone onto the table in front of me.

"Is it because of him? 'Jax. Racer. Walking Thirst Trap. 1872422.'"

He spat the contact name out like poison. "Did this slut seduce you?"

"Since I walked in, you haven't put the phone down. I saw the pictures. He sent you shirtless pics."

Caleb was breathing hard, unraveling. "Shameless trash. Seducing someone else's girlfriend. What does he have that I don't?"

He loomed over me, his shadow consuming everything. "Sloane, speak!"

Chapter 6