Eight Years as His Second Choice

During the vows, my fianc looked past me with reddened eyes and called out another woman's name.

Jean...

I froze. My gaze followed his, drifting to someone standing behind me.

The one that got awaythe woman who'd abandoned him all those years agohad come back. No one knew when she'd returned.

She stood there in a white wedding gown, and on her ring finger sat a pull-tab ring identical to the one on mine.

Their eyes locked, both glistening with tears, like star-crossed lovers reunited after years apart.

The officiant scrambled to smooth things over.

"Mr. Farley must be nervousjust a slip of the tongue! Miss Sullivan, why don't we give the groom another chance?"

Half the guests already knew their history. They watched with bated breath, waiting for the spectacle to unfold.

But Hudson didn't correct himself. He dropped my hand and ran after Jean as she fled down the aisle.

The venue erupted into chaos. I pulled the ring from my finger and canceled the wedding on the spot.

Eight years ago, he'd gotten into a fight to protect Jean Swanson. Three years in prison. Half his life, ruined.

When he walked out of those gates, I was the one waiting. I was the one who pulled him out of the wreckage, who stood beside him as he built everything from nothing.

He'd promised he would never betray me.

But eight years later, the person he chose was still her.

Fine. Then I'd let him have what he wanted.

I stared at the overturned flower arrangements, my mind blank. Every bloom, every ribbonI'd spent six months designing it all by hand.

Now it was destroyed beyond recognition.

Even the bouquet I'd woven myself had been trampled under Hudson Farley's shoes, ground into a shapeless mess.

The officiant recovered and walked over, holding out a tissue with a pitying look.

Then he noticed there wasn't a single tear on my face.

"Miss Sullivan... should we continue with the ceremony?"

"No."

Everyone left. The venue fell silent.

When Hudson proposed, he'd said he hadn't had time to buy a diamond ring, so he'd used a pull-tab from a soda can instead.

I believed him. I wore it for eight years.

It wasn't until today that I understood what it really meant.

That ring was a promise Hudson Farley had made to Jean Swanson back in college. A promise of forever.

Jean wasn't around, so that love trickled down to me by default.

Now she was back, and the love was being reclaimedalong with the ring, which had been nothing but trash all along.

I tossed it aside, stepped off the stage, and sat down to remove my makeup.

On the other side of the window, the great romantic chase was already underway.

Hudson gripped Jean's hand, his voice shaking with emotion.

"Jean, why did you leave eight years ago? If you hadn't left"

He didn't finish. His gaze drifted in my direction.

One of their old classmates jumped in immediately.

"Hudson, you and Jean were so in love back then. We all thought you two would get married. When that whole mess happened and you lost each other, everyone felt terrible about it. Jean's back now, and just in time. Why don't you two get married right here and put eight years of regret to rest?"

The words had barely left his mouth when I walked out, the veil I'd removed draped over my arm.

Hudson avoided my eyes. His hand was still holding Jean's.

"But Tabitha Sullivan was the one by my side for eight years. I can't just"

Jean trembled in front of him, sobbing so hard she could barely hold herself together.

"I'm sorry... I came back too late. Please, don't pressure him because of me..."

Her eyes were swollen red, tears streaming down her face. The tenderness on Hudson's face was so thick it was practically spilling over.

I knew him. He hadn't denied it outright. He'd chased after her, demanded answers. That alone told Jean everything she needed to knowshe still had a place in his heart.

I walked over and placed the veil on Jean's head. I smoothed her hair into place, adjusted the fabric, and smiled.

"It suits you. Hudson, marry her."

Nelson Lane clapped Hudson on the shoulder, egging him on.

"Come on, Hudson. Even Tabitha's giving you her blessing. What are you still hesitating for?"

"Exactly! Sure, Tabitha was the one by your side these eight years, but everyone knew the person you really loved was Jean. If it weren't for what happened, you two would probably have kids in elementary school by now!"

Hudson didn't say a word, but the faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips told me everything I needed to know about what was stirring inside him.

Everyone knew the story. Eight years ago, Hudson had beaten a man half to death with a brickall to punish some lowlife who'd been harassing Jean Swanson. He'd killed the man and thrown his own future into a prison cell along with the body.

They also knew I'd chased Hudson relentlessly, clinging to him like a lovesick fool no amount of rejection could shake, until I finally wore him down.

But what nobody knew was that Jean had fled the country the moment Hudson went to prisonterrified of being implicatedand left him to take the fall alone.

During the darkest chapter of his life, I was the one by his side.

When he pushed me away, he was the one who traveled over six hundred miles to bring me back.

It was him who swore to me, on everything he had, that he would never betray me. Not for anyone. Not even for Jean Swanson.

Countless nights, he held me so tight it hurtafraid I'd vanish the way Jean had, afraid I'd leave him behind.

And now Jean was back. And every promise he'd ever made had turned to ash.

His choice had always been her. It had never changed. Not once.

The memories crumbled through me like rotting wood, eating me hollow from the inside, leaving nothing alive, nothing that could ever grow again.

This unrequited love should have ended a long time ago.

Hudson went rigid. His eyes locked onto mine, and for one unguarded second, I caught itpanic.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Jean beat him to it. Her tears dissolved into a radiant smile as she burrowed into his arms.

"Tabitha, thank you for taking care of Hudson these past eight years. But you have to understandgratitude isn't love. Guilting someone into marrying you is just emotional blackmail."

"Besides, the one Hudson has always loved... is me."

She turned her head, physically blocking his line of sight to me, and looked up at him.

"So now that I'm back, will you marry me, Hudson?"

Maybe it was guilt. Maybe the question had blindsided him.

Hudson didn't answer right away.

"You just got back. There are things I need... time to sort out."

The light in Jean's eyes dimmed, a flicker of displeasure crossing her face.

Nelson jumped in to smooth things over. "Alright, alrighttoday's wedding still has Tabitha and Hudson's photos plastered everywhere. Even if there is a wedding, you'd have to start fresh, right?"

Hudson's throat tightened. He didn't deny it.

"Well then, congratulations in advance. Wishing you a happy marriage!"

"Thank you..."

Hudson actually thanked me.

The glare of the sun stung my eyes, made them burn. I forced the heat back down, swallowed it whole.

But the warmth pooling at the bottom of my chest had already frozen solida block of ice lodged behind my ribs, aching and cold.

Jean's eyes lit up again. She ducked her head, cheeks flushed, bashful.

"So that's how you feel. Then I'm willing to wait."

"Tabitha, when the time comes, will you be my maid of honor?"

"Sure." I clenched the fabric of my wedding dress, then let go. My gaze shifted to Hudson. "And if you need a best man, I can bring my own."

"Bring your own?" Jean's eyes went wide, and she clapped a hand over her mouth in exaggerated shock. "Tabitha, don't tell me you've been interested in someone else this whole time?"

"No wonder you weren't upset todayyou even pushed Hudson and me together. So really, wouldn't you say I did you a favor?"

Hudson's hand was still holding Jean's. He didn't react.

Something inside me loosened. I laugheda real laugh, light and unburdened.

"I've known him for a long time, actually. But I only just accepted his proposal. I'm at that agemight as well get married. One groom's as good as another. When the time comes, you and Mr. Farley are welcome to attend my wedding too."

Stunned silence rippled through the crowd.

No one had expected this. I'd just had my wedding hijacked in front of everyone, and here I stoodcalm, composed, talking about marrying someone else.

Nelson pressed forward. "Who is it? Come on, Tabitha! Don't just say that to save facetell us!"

I pulled out my phone and opened a chat threadthe message I'd received while I was taking off my makeup.

Just two lines of text.

"Tabitha, if you ever regret it, just look back. I'll always be here."

"Okay. I'll marry you!"

Everyone who saw it was stunned.

"Holy crap! You're serious? You didn't set this up with someone ahead of time, did you?"

"One week from now, you're all invited to the wedding. Then you'll know whether it's a prank."

The words had barely left my mouth when Jean let out a soft gasp. "Hudson, you're hurting me."

Hudson released her hand immediately, but his expression was terrifyingly dark.

"Enough, Tabitha. Stop messing around. Jean just got back. I'm going to take her home. You handle the guests."

"Whatever else there is to say, we'll talk about it at home."

As he spoke, he pulled two Band-Aids from his pocket, crouched down, and carefully slipped off Jean's heels.

Then he pressed them gently over the raw skin on the backs of her heels.

When he was done, his voice carried the kind of tender scolding reserved for someone precious.

"Every single time you wear heels, you tear up your heels. When are you going to learn?"

Jean stuck out her tongue playfully and looped her arms around his neck.

"Well, that's what I have you for! Just carry me home!"

The crowd's attention shifted to them instantly, and people started teasing and whistling.

"Aww, look at that! When it comes to spoiling a woman, nobody beats Mr. Farley!"

That scene hit me like a freight train, dragging up every memory of how Hudson and I had been for the past eight years.

Eight years together, and he'd grown used to me being the one who gave.

When he was in prison, at his lowest, the other inmates would rough him up constantly. So I started packing Band-Aids for him, slipping them into his pockets so he'd always have them within reach.

After he got out, he couldn't stand dealing with people. I was the one who introduced him to contacts, coaxed him back into the world, helped him crawl out of the shadows one step at a time.

Once his career took off, he'd leave me behind at dinners with business partners to go handle his own affairs, disappearing without a word.

I'd lost count of the nights I'd gotten drunk trying to close deals for him, only to have someone's hands wander where they shouldn't. I'd hide in a corner and cry until I couldn't breathe.

He never said a single comforting word.

When he saw me stumbling home at two in the morning because I couldn't get a cab, heels shredding the backs of my feet until I nearly collapsed on the sidewalk

He never once crouched down to change my shoes. Not even with Band-Aids sitting right there in his pocket.

So that was it. His tenderness, his attentiveness, his devotionnone of it had ever been meant for me.

The wedding had become a complete joke.

Hudson didn't offer me a single word of comfort. He just got in the car and drove Jean away.

The guests looked at me with pity, like spectators at a show. But what they really hoped was that I'd bow out gracefully and let the two of them have their fairy tale.

Nelson pulled me aside.

"Tabitha, back in college, Hudson literally committed assault for Jean. That kind of loveyou were never going to break through it."

"Even if you don't do it for them, do it for yourself. Even if you managed to keep him, you'd never be happy."

He was right. I knew he was right.

So after I'd seen off the last of the guests, I went home and started packing.

I just hadn't expected that eight years of belongings would be so overwhelming I didn't know where to begin.

Every single item was cheap junk picked up from street vendorsknockoffs, freebies. A $9.99 bracelet I'd displayed on a velvet stand like it was something precious.

The most expensive thing I owned was a gold bangle I'd asked for myself when he proposed. Ten grams. A little over a thousand dollars.

Money I'd once felt guilty about letting him spend. Now every piece of it had turned into worthless trash, cheapened by a love that had never been real.

By the time I'd thrown it all away, dawn was breaking through the windows.

He hadn't sent a single message all night. I hadn't called him once.

I was zipping up the last of my bags when Hudson walked through the door.

He spotted the suitcase in my hand and froze. "Where are you going?"

I didn't look up. I zipped the suitcase shut.

"Home."

He crossed the room, snatched the suitcase from my grip, and shoved it into the corner.

His voice softened. "Stop this. You're an orphan, Tabitha. Where else would you even go?"

"I know you're upset about the wedding yesterday, but weddings are just for show. Once we officially register our marriage, that's when we'll really be husband and wife."

I almost laughed.

The longest relationship among any of my friends lasted five years before they got their marriage certificate. Hudson and I had been together for eight, and I couldn't even get a piece of paper.

I was an orphan. He'd promised to give me a home. Eight years I'd waited for that home.

Every time I hinted at registering, he'd find a hundred excuses not to go. The one time he actually agreed, I sat at the civil affairs bureau from opening until close, and he showed up at the last minute.

I clutched our number ticket and begged the clerk to wait just a little longer. Then he told me he'd forgotten his ID.

I think that was the last time I ever brought it up.

Now, suddenly, I wanted to test him one final time.

"Fine. Then let's go register today. If we do, I'll let the wedding go."

His expression changed instantly.

"Tabitha, it's not that I won't register with you. It's just that Jean only just got back. If you push this now, I'm afraid she'll... I'm worried she might do something to herself."

"Once she's had time to settle down, I'll go. I swear"

"Forget it." I cut him off. I'd just remembered my ID was still in the safe. I turned to get it.

The moment I pulled it out, Hudson grabbed my arm and yanked me to my feet. I lost my balance and hit the floor.

He reached down to help me up, but when his hand was inches from mine, he saw the ID card clutched in my fingers. His hand pulled back.

His voice went cold.

"What exactly do you want from me, Tabitha? It's not like I said I wouldn't marry you. Why do you have to push me like this?"

"I already explainedeverything Jean said yesterday was a joke."

"We're just friends now. Nothing more."

"Just friends?" I picked myself up off the floor. The back of my hand had caught the corner of the safe, and blood dripped onto the hardwood. It stung.

A dense, prickling pain burrowed its way into my chest.

But I'd been hurt so many times that even this didn't feel like much anymore.

"Since when do 'just friends' have zero boundaries? She wrecked my wedding, then spent the entire night alone with my fianc behind closed doors."

Hudson pressed his lips together. He sighed, pulled me into his arms, and softened his tone to something coaxing.

"Come on. I swear, nothing happened last night."

"And I already talked to Jean. I told her there's no chance for us anymore."

"The only reason I ran after her was to find out why she disappeared eight years ago without a word. I just wanted an answer. I couldn't let it go."

"I told youeven with Jean back, I'm not going to be with her. You're the one who matters most to me."

I was so sick of hearing those words.

Eight years. Every single time he had to choose, I was the one who got left behind.

On my birthday, he heard Jean had been spotted at the airport. He abandoned me alone on a mountaintop and rushed to find her.

When I was sick, he heard Jean had caught a virus overseas and couldn't get the right medication. He mailed her the last bottle of fever reducer we had in the house.

I burned with that same virus for seven days and seven nights. I nearly died.

Every single one of our anniversaries, he prepared two gifts. One for Jean. One for me.

Because every anniversary of ours lined up perfectly with every milestone he'd once shared with her.

So this was what his promises and love amounted to.

I was the backup. The option that could be deleted at any time.

Every anniversary cut me like a blade drawn slowly across my skin. Every night I lay awake, aching for a man who never ached for me.

But not anymore. I was done hurting over him.

I said nothing. I just gripped the handle of my suitcase and walked toward the door.

Hudson seized my wrist, his voice spiking sharp enough to crack glass.

"Tabitha! What the hell is wrong with you? You wanted a weddingI gave you the wedding I promised! What more could you possibly want?"

"Jean asked me that question today, and I didn't say yes!"

"But YOUyou stood in front of all those people and made a scene, telling everyone you were going to marry someone else!"

"You're the one who was out of line, Tabitha! What right do you have to be angry at ME?"

I lifted my gaze to his reddened eyes and let a faint smile settle on my lips.

"I told you, I'm not angry. I'm just going home."

"Home?" Hudson jabbed a finger toward the door. "You're an orphan nobody wanted! What home? Where exactly are you going to go if you walk out that door?"

He always knew exactly where to aim the knifeand he always twisted it.

There was a time I would have screamed. Fought back. Cried until my voice gave out.

Now I just looked at him, steady and still, until guilt bled through the anger in his eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. But Tabitha, you're the one who's wrong here."

"You shouldn't have said those things yesterday. What if people actually believed you? How are we supposed to explain that?"

I tightened my grip on the suitcase handle and spoke with my back to him.

"I wasn't joking. Every word I said was true"

Before I could finish, the doorbell rang.

Hudson opened the door. Jean stood on the threshold, suitcase in tow, tears clinging to her lashes.

"Hudson my landlord kicked me out. I have nowhere to go. Could I maybe stay here for a little while?"

Hudson snapped into composure in an instant. He pulled her inside, took her luggage, started getting her settled.

"Stay as long as you need. No rush at all."

Jean's gaze landed on my suitcase. She tilted her head, feigning confusion. "Tabitha, are you?"

Before I could open my mouth, Hudson had already supplied the excuse.

"She's going on a little vacation to clear her head. Don't worryshe won't mind."

The words I'd been about to say dissolved on my tongue. I let out a quiet, bitter laugh.

Then I turned away from the warmth and noise behind me, shut the door softly, and walked out of a home that had never been mine.