After the Bloom,No Looking Back

Five years of a secret marriage, and Ferdinand Sanchez had finally agreed to go public during my livestream.

I dressed to the nines and told my followers tonight's broadcast would have a surprise.

Ferdinand appeared on screen right on schedule, polite and distant.

Good evening. Happy birthday, Ms. Winfield!

I froze. This wasn't quite the declaration I'd been expecting.

The live chat exploded.

"Holy crap, that's Ferdinand Sanchez from Channel 5. THE Golden Voice. No way."

"Mr. Sanchez, what's your relationship with Jade Winfield? Why are you on her stream?"

I held my breath, my heart hammering so hard I could feel it in my throat.

Then I heard his voice, cool as ice.

"Just a casual friend."

The chat went berserk.

"LOL, don't get your hopes up. Ferdinand belongs to our girl Vera."

"Their love story from the war zone nearly destroyed me. I sobbed for DAYS."

"Soulmates always find their way back. Vera literally announced she's moving home just an hour ago."

"The second she announces her return, he distances himself like this? They're SO meant to be. Turns out the clown was the streamer all along."

The entire internet was waiting for their fairy-tale reunion.

And here I was, on my thirtieth birthday, watching my love story flatline.

I glanced at my phone, keeping my expression perfectly neutral.

One hour ago, Ferdinand had sent me a message.

"After careful consideration, I don't think it's the right time to go public with our relationship."

Why exactly one hour ago.

Was he really still hung up on Vera Summers?

But in all these years, he had never once mentioned her name.

If the fans were just spinning fantasies, Ferdinand would set the record straight. Wouldn't he?

After all, the last time a tabloid reporter caught me getting out of his car, his team had issued a statement within minutes.

"She is a friend of a colleague who was simply offered a ride. Please refrain from speculation."

Whenever I brought up how much it hurt, he'd let out that weary sigh of his.

"Jade, my career is different. Any exposure of my personal life could compromise my credibility."

I told him I was a public figure too.

He smiled, and something unreadable flickered behind it.

"It's not the same."

He was the face of Channel 5, untouchable behind his golden reputation. I was an influencer who lived and died by clicks.

In his world, my career probably wasn't even worth mentioning in polite company.

Faced with the chat's mockery, Ferdinand didn't correct a single word. He just logged off.

My heart sank.

After I ended the stream, my assistant handed me my phone like she was handling a grenade.

In the span of minutes, I'd been pushed to the top of the trending page.

"Mr. Sanchez called Jade a 'friend,' but honestly, he looked like he barely knew her."

"Right? He called her 'Ms. Winfield' with her full name. My boss doesn't even sign emails that formally."

The replies were a warzone of their own.

"That's called professionalism. Unlike certain influencers who manufacture ship content 24/7 just to clout-chase."

"Wait, wait. Look what I just dug up."

I tapped the link. It led to a forum post from years ago.

The title: A Power Couple of Equally Matched Geniuses.

Every photo was of Ferdinand and Vera.

Sharing a helmet during a warzone interview. Huddled under the same umbrella in a downpour. Embracing on an awards stage.

"They were the golden couple of our department. Inseparable. Rumor has it Ferdinand took a bullet for Vera in the field. They were practically engaged before they split. Nobody ever found out why."

Fans were tripping over each other to comment.

"Vera is incredible. That piece she and Ferdinand did on refugee children had me in tears."

"I heard they broke up because of the distance. One came home, the other stayed overseas."

"Anyway, there's zero chance Ferdinand would ever go for that influencer. They're not even in the same league."

"Do you think Vera came back to the country for Ferdinand? Think they'll rekindle things?"

I didn't want to believe it, but the evidence was right in front of me.

A journalism awards ceremony. Ferdinand and Vera Summers standing shoulder to shoulder, a trophy in his hand, her gaze fixed on him like he was the only person in the room.

That same trophy still sat on Ferdinand's desk.

Once, while cleaning, I'd moved it a few inches to the left. He'd erupted like I'd committed a crime.

I'd assumed he was protective of the achievement.

Now I understood. It was the person he'd shared it with.

After scrolling through every photo of the two of them, my chest felt packed with something heavy and damp, like wet cotton lodged behind my ribs.

That was a life I'd never been part of.

Ferdinand, bright-eyed and burning with ambition, young and unguarded.

Nothing like the distant, closed-off man I'd married.

A cramp twisted through my stomach. The baby must have sensed my sadness.

I closed my eyes. Everyone had a past. I couldn't sentence my marriage to death over old photographs.

Besides, I was carrying his child.

If he could look me in the eye and deny that he still had feelings for Vera, I'd give him one more chance.

I pulled myself together, left the office building, and walked another fifteen minutes before I finally spotted Ferdinand's car tucked in the shadows.

He always said he was afraid someone might see us, so he parked far away on purpose.

Rain or shine, nothing made him bend that rule.

I opened the door and slid into the passenger seat. He held out a jewelry box.

"Happy birthday."

Inside was the pink diamond I'd kept in my shopping cart for months.

But the excitement I should have felt never came.

All I heard was the hurt in my own voice.

"Ferdinand, we had a deal. Why did you go back on it?"

Ferdinand stared at the neon lights ahead and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Jade, we're legally married. What difference does it make whether it's public or not?"

"You know the station's been considering letting me anchor a new program. I can't afford any complications right now."

Five years together, and he always asked me to wait.

Wait for him to get hired full-time. Wait for his promotion. Wait for his raise. Wait until he was ready.

I had no idea when this endless waiting would ever have an end.

"Is the real reason you won't go public because of Vera?"

His hands tightened on the steering wheel. His gaze slid past mine.

"She's my ex-girlfriend, but that's over. I married you. I signed the papers."

"Stop overthinking this. I would never do anything to betray you."

Maybe guilt got the better of him, because at the next red light, he made an offer I'd never heard before.

"The station's annual gala is next Saturday. Come with me."

He had never once brought me into his social circle.

"As what?"

He let out a tired sigh.

"If anyone asks, just say you're a friend."

The disappointment sank through me like a stone. I closed my eyes and couldn't bring myself to say another word.

Maybe because I so rarely lost my temper in five years, Ferdinand spent the next few days bending over backward.

The polished, camera-ready anchorman came home every evening and buried himself in the kitchen, experimenting with dishes I loved.

He even bought a bouquet of lilies, my favorite, despite being so allergic to the pollen he couldn't stop sneezing.

His clumsy attempts at making amends would have melted me before.

Now they just felt hollow. Pointless.

Saturday. The Channel 5 annual gala.

I walked in on Ferdinand's arm.

He stopped mid-step. His eyes locked onto a woman across the room, and his arm slipped out of my hand before he even seemed to realize he'd done it.

I followed his gaze and saw the woman I'd only known from photographs.

Vera Summers. A tailored pearl-white skirt suit, her short hair swept back without a strand out of place.

She spotted us and smiled, walking over like she belonged there more than I ever would.

"Ferdinand, come on. Let me introduce you to a few of the executives."

She held Ferdinand's arm, working the room from one executive to the next.

Anyone watching would have assumed they were the real couple.

A greasy, leering man sidled up to me, seized my hand, and insisted I share a toast with him.

I shot Ferdinand a look, silently begging him to step in.

He glanced at me once, briefly, then turned away as if nothing had happened.

I finally shook the man off and escaped to the restroom, where I overheard two of Ferdinand's colleagues chatting.

"Ferdinand and Vera are such a perfect match. It's a shame they never made it work back then."

"Did you see the woman Ferdinand brought? That type of influencer would sell her own dignity for clicks."

"Let's be honest, influencers are just kept women with ring lights. Vera's nothing like that. She and Ferdinand are equals. Now that's a love story worth rooting for."

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, makeup flawless, every line in place. In my own world, I'd clawed my way up through sheer, relentless effort.

So why, the moment I stood next to Ferdinand, did I become nothing more than an embarrassment he couldn't put on display?

Back in the ballroom, Ferdinand was talking to Vera.

They stood close enough that from a distance their heads nearly touched, intimate as lovers.

Nothing like me. In public, Ferdinand always kept at least three feet between us, as if by instinct.

I walked over. Ferdinand saw me and straightened, his expression perfectly composed.

Vera gave me a small nod.

"Just catching up with Ferdinand. You don't mind, do you, Ms. Winfield?"

"He's changed so much. He wasn't nearly this composed back in the day. When we were on assignment together, someone just brushed my hand once and he nearly beat the guy half to death."

Ferdinand's eyes darkened, as though the memory had surfaced on its own.

"I was young and hot-headed back then."

Someone had brushed Vera's hand, and he'd nearly crippled the man for it.

Minutes ago, he'd watched another man paw at me and hadn't so much as blinked.

So that was it. The difference between love and indifference really was that obvious.

As the event wound down, a message from Ferdinand lit up my phone.

"I still have some work to discuss here. Take a cab home."

When I walked through the front door, Ferdinand's parents were sitting in the living room. I hadn't expected them.

The moment I stepped inside, Doris Sanchez's gaze swept me from head to toe, sharp with disapproval.

"This late, dressed like that. Have you no shame?"

"I hear the influencer business is a messy world. I didn't realize you fit right in."

I couldn't stop myself from pushing back.

"Being an influencer is a legitimate career. I have eight million followers."

Doris slammed the remote onto the coffee table.

"Followers? Who gives a damn about followers?"

"Our Ferdinand works at Channel 5. A state institution. What you do, let's call it what it is, is a circus act. Do you have any idea where circus performers ranked in the old days?"

"Ferdinand is being groomed for bigger things at the station. People are just waiting for a reason to drag him down, and your little career is exactly the kind of liability he doesn't need."

Keith Sanchez chimed in from the side.

"We're not attacking you. But if you truly love Ferdinand, you'll find a different job. Study for civil service exams, or take an office position at a real company."

"Look at Vera. Studied abroad, top of her class. Now that's someone who's actually in Ferdinand's league."

Five years of marriage, and Ferdinand's parents had never once thought I was good enough.

It didn't matter that I'd worked myself to the bone. It didn't matter that my eight million followers brought in dozens of times what Ferdinand earned.

In their eyes, I would never deserve their son.

And now that Vera was back, they couldn't wait to show up at my door and push me out.

I opened my mouth to fire back, but Doris's phone rang.

Vera's radiant face filled the screen.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Sanchez! I'm so sorry, I've been swamped since getting back. Haven't had a chance to come visit you yet."

"Ferdinand had a little too much to drink, but don't worry, I'll take good care of him."

Doris and Keith huddled together over the phone, their faces breaking into wide, delighted smiles.

"As long as he's with you, we've got nothing to worry about."

"Next time you're free, have Ferdinand bring you over. I'll make your favorite pecan-crusted salmon, dear."

I was Ferdinand's wife. Not her.

Yet here were my in-laws, right in front of me, playing matchmaker between my husband and another woman.

Nausea clawed up my throat. I walked into the bedroom and slammed the door hard enough to rattle the frame.

Before I fell asleep, the internet exploded.

#Golden Voice anchor Ferdinand Sanchez and Vera Summers leave together rekindled romance?#

The photos showed two silhouettes behind a curtain, locked in a tight embrace.

Tears soaked my pillowcase.

I rested my hand on my stomach, tracing slow circles.

Baby, what is Mommy supposed to do?

Whatever love I'd had for Ferdinand was dead. The only thing keeping me awake was the child growing inside me.

But before I could think it through, they made the decision for me.

Early the next morning, a hammering on the bedroom door shook the walls.

"Jade Winfield, get out here!"

I pulled the door open. The only thing I saw was the prenatal exam report in Doris's hand.

"You're pregnant?"

Most grandmothers-to-be would have been overjoyed. Doris looked like she'd found a cockroach in her kitchen.

"This baby has to go."

Keith sat on the sofa, saying nothing. His silence was its own verdict.

"This is my child. You don't get to decide whether it lives or dies."

I loved children. Three years of marriage and nothing had happened, so I'd dragged Ferdinand to a fertility clinic. The doctor diagnosed him with oligospermia. For years I'd been quietly adjusting his diet, slipping supplements into his meals. And now, finally, I was pregnant.

Doris's expression didn't waver.

"You couldn't even get into a four-year college. With an IQ that low, what if the baby takes after you?"

"The Sanchez family has always been a family of scholars. We will not accept mediocre offspring."

"If anyone is going to carry a Sanchez heir, it should be someone like Vera. An elite. Not you."

Keith lifted his head and looked at me, his face blank.

"Jade, a child that nobody wants will never be happy, even if it's born."

"You of all people should know that."

My hand trembled. A wave of cold grief washed through me.

My father never loved my mother, but she insisted on having me, convinced a baby would save the marriage. It didn't. He walked out on us without looking back.

Growing up, my mother poured every drop of her resentment onto me. She blamed me for not being a boy. She blamed me for not being charming enough to win my father's affection.

When Ferdinand and I first got together, he'd held me close, his voice aching with tenderness.

"Jade, from now on, I'm the family who loves you most."

What I didn't know was that he'd taken every wound I'd ever shared with him and handed it to his parents like ammunition.

Now they were the ones ripping open the scars, one by one.

Their voices rose and fell around me, distant and distorted.

"I know the head of OB-GYN at a private hospital. She'll handle it personally. You'll recover in no time."

I wrapped both arms around my stomach and held on.

"This is my child and Ferdinand's child. You have no right to make this call. Unless Ferdinand tells me himself that he doesn't want it."

Doris let out a cold laugh and dialed Ferdinand's number.

The wait stretched on forever.

I thought of all those late nights, tangled in the sheets, Ferdinand's breath warm against my ear.

"Jade, let's have two kids someday. One with your last name, one with mine."

He must have meant it once. He must have believed in our future, at least for a moment.

I didn't know how long I sat there before the front door opened and Ferdinand walked in.

Vera was right behind him.

I looked at Ferdinand, perfectly still, waiting for the verdict.

"Ferdinand, I'm pregnant. Your parents want me to terminate. What do you think?"

Ferdinand froze. Something unreadable moved behind his eyes as he stared at me.

Vera tugged at his sleeve.

"I spoke with the station director last night. The new program is going to be co-anchored by you and me."

"If word gets out that you have a child, it could create problems with the network."

I stared straight at Ferdinand until my eyes burned, refusing to show weakness in front of them.

Ferdinand turned away and pulled me back into the bedroom, shutting the door behind us.

He crouched in front of me and gently placed his hand on my stomach.

The tenderness almost softened me, but then his voice came out cold as stone.

"Jade, we can have a baby later. Can we just wait a little longer?"

Every last trace of warmth inside me went dead. I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes.

"Ferdinand, is that what it is? In your mind, in your family's mind, in everyone's eyes, I'm just never going to be good enough for you?"

Ferdinand gripped my hand tight.

"Jade, that's not it. Don't overthink this."

"Once this program wraps, we'll try for a baby. It's just a matter of timing. Can't you cut me some slack?"

I let out a bitter laugh and yanked my hand free.

"Ferdinand, is this really about the program, or is it about Vera?"

"Are you still dreaming about rekindling things with her? Picking up right where you left off?"

The color drained from his face.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

I pulled up the trending photos and shoved my phone in front of him.

"Am I making things up? Do I need to catch you two in bed before it counts?"

"Ferdinand, I may not have your fancy degrees, but I'm not stupid."

Ferdinand stared at me, his breathing ragged.

"You've been investigating me?"

I laughed. The tears fell anyway.

"Investigate? The whole world already knows you two spent last night together."

Ferdinand finally lost his patience.

"Jade, can you stop being so unreasonable?"

"Even without Vera, I wouldn't have wanted this baby. If you want to blame someone, blame the kid's bad timing for showing up when it shouldn't have!"

I stood up and glared at him with every ounce of fury I had left.

"Ferdinand, don't you dare regret this."

Seeing that I'd finally given in, Ferdinand exhaled with relief.

"Jade, I'll go with you to the hospital."

Before I could refuse, Vera winced and clutched her stomach.

"My period just started. It hurts so bad."

Ferdinand's parents shot to their feet, urging him to help Vera to our bedroom to rest.

The two of them rushed into the kitchen together to boil her brown sugar water.

I turned on my heel without a word and took a cab to the hospital.

Right before I was wheeled into the operating room, a new set of photos hit trending: Ferdinand, Vera, and his parents, all four of them at dinner together.

"Vera Summers and Ferdinand Sanchez meet the parents. Wedding bells on the horizon?"

I opened my email and sent Ferdinand's oligospermia report to a tabloid reporter.

When I woke up from the procedure, his diagnosis was already the number one trending topic.

My phone was flooded with missed calls.