I Was His Secret Wife,Until I Became His Nightmare

I hid my identity and lived as an ordinary wife with Cesare Delgado.

The day I learned I was pregnant, he spoke without warning: The Counselor's eldest daughter and I are to be married in three days.

I'm actually the heir to the Delgado Family. She and I are a proper match in standing. The terms of the alliance have already been delivered to the Marchetti estate, and... she and I have already consummated our union.

When he saw me frozen in place, he added, "I'll set you up in a residence. You and the child will want for nothing."

I stared at him in disbelief. "So I'm to be your kept woman, hidden away for the rest of my life. Is that it?"

Cesare turned his face away. "She's a proper and virtuous wife. As long as you don't cause a scene in front of her, I can give you and the child everything except the name."

A sharp sting hit the bridge of my nose. I never imagined I meant so little to him.

"What if I told you my status could match yours?"

Cesare went still for a moment. Somewhere outside, a car engine idled. One of his soldiers shifted his weight on the gravel. A long silence passed before he spoke.

"Serafina Valente, I know it was wrong of me to hide my identity and take another wife. But there are no what-ifs in this world. The only woman in all the city who matches my standing is the Counselor's eldest daughter."

"You and I lived as husband and wife at the foot of this mountain for three years. I know exactly who you are."

But he had hidden his identity. How could he be so certain I hadn't done the same?

I looked around. The cottage we'd built with our own hands. The garden we'd tilled together. I wanted so desperately to believe all of it had been real.

"Cesare, I'm carrying your child. Can't we go back to the way things were? Please don't marry her."

My eyes locked onto the man before me. If he would just say yes, I was willing to forgive everything.

But all he did was press his lips together and say, his voice flat, "She and I have already consummated our union. I have a duty to her."

My eyes burned red. My body wouldn't stop shaking. "And what about me? You don't owe me anything? You don't owe this child anything?"

Cesare reached out and brushed the tears from my cheek, his eyes full of tenderness.

"Serafina, listen. I'm only taking a wife. I'm not abandoning you."

"There's a property on the outskirts of the Hudson Valley. I've already purchased it. If you like the country life, I'll have someone plant a garden for you. Whatever you want, I'll make it happen. Trust me."

I stepped back, shaking my head over and over.

"I won't be locked away in some back house as your mistress. I won't let my child and me live in the shadows for the rest of our lives."

But Cesare simply walked toward me, his expression unchanged, his tone calm.

"I've never thought of you as a mistress. As long as you don't make trouble in front of the lady of the house, you'll still be my wife there. Isn't that enough?"

I kept shaking my head. "No. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here."

This place held every tender moment Cesare and I had shared over three years. I wanted to wait here for our child to be born.

"Serafina, you know this. My alliance ceremony cannot have a single flaw. I have to erase every trace of our past. It's the only way you and the child will be safe."

Before the shock had even left my face, he raised his hand. The soldiers behind him stepped forward with fuel cans and set the courtyard ablaze.

In an instant the fire roared to life, swallowing the cottage, the fence, the entire yard.

I clutched my belly and screamed. "No! Stop! Make them stop!"

Cesare pulled me to him and pressed my trembling body against his chest.

He held me there and let me pound my fists against him.

"Be good. When the time is right, I'll make you my equal wife. The child can carry the name of a legitimate heir. Everything will be the way it was before."

But Cesare, I am the daughter of the Don. The Boss of Bosses. How could I ever be your equal wife?

The courtyard was gone. And we could never go back.

Three years ago, I had a fight with my father and walked out of the compound in a fury, determined to chase my dream of a quiet life far from the empire he'd built.

I shook off every one of his men along the way and settled at the foot of this mountain.

That was when I met Cesare Delgado. He was on horseback, collar turned up against the wind, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. One look was all it took. I fell for him completely.

I hid my identity from him, and he told me only that he was a freelance enforcer drifting between jobs. We exchanged vows beneath the open sky, with heaven and earth as our witnesses.

We had no family crests or lavish alliance ceremonies, but we had each other. He worked odd jobs while I kept the house, and we were happy.

Now the cottage was destroyed, and I was locked away in a side wing of the Delgado estate.

The only glimpse of the outside world I could steal was through a crack in the wall.

A few women passing by were whispering about the Delgado wedding.

"Did you hear? The young heir petitioned Don Valente himself for the union. He traded his service commendations for the diamond tiara reserved for the Don's own daughters."

"Well, his bride is the Counselor's legitimate daughter. She deserves that kind of ceremony."

"They're perfectly matched in standing. What a handsome couple they'll make."

The tiara they spoke of had been my favorite treasure in the compound. I'd never worn it only because I hadn't yet come of age to marry, so my father never bestowed it on me.

On my own wedding night with Cesare, the only thing on my head had been a wreath of wildflowers he'd woven with his own hands.

He'd said to me then: "My Serafina deserves the finest things in this world. Even a princess's crown wouldn't be too good for you."

And now he had traded his service commendations to give that very tiara to Sienna Marchetti.

That evening, Cesare came carrying a whole box of my favorite pastries.

He sat across from me, his expression perfectly composed. "Eat something. The baby must be hungry."

Only then did I pick up a piece and take small, careful bites.

But watching him act as though nothing had happened filled my mouth with bitterness no pastry could mask.

"When did it happen?"

Cesare froze. He poured me a cup of espresso to cover his discomfort, then said in a flat voice, "On your birthday."

The ground dropped out from under me. A month ago, on my birthday, Cesare had vanished without a word. I searched for him the entire night, up the mountain and down, calling his name until my voice gave out.

He didn't come back until the next morning, dusty and disheveled, claiming he'd gotten lost looking for a birthday gift for me.

Then, like a boy presenting a treasure, he pulled a snow lotus from behind his back.

I hadn't slept all night, but seeing the effort he'd gone through, I couldn't bring myself to scold him. I took the flower and carefully potted it.

Now he was telling me that on my birthday, while I was searching every trail in the dark, he had been in Sienna Marchetti's bed. My stomach turned.

Even so, thinking of everything we'd shared, I couldn't stop myself from offering him one last chance.

"Cesare, can you just not marry her?"

He turned the espresso cup in his hands, over and over, his brow furrowed tight.

"Not marry her? Marry you instead?"

"Do you really have to force me to say it plainly?"

"She is the Counselor's legitimate daughter. And you? A civilian woman who knows nothing but watering crops and tilling soil. How could you possibly be fit to stand beside me as the wife of a future Don?"

The color drained from my face. I refused to let it go. "Do three years of what we had really mean nothing unless I have the right family name?"

A searing pain tore through my lower abdomen. I pressed both hands against my stomach, but I kept my eyes on him, waiting for his answer.

"In the families, blood and rank matter above all else. The line between a sanctioned wife and a kept woman is absolute."

He paused, guilt flickering across his face.

"Sienna might be pregnant."

The room tilted. I stared at him, unable to process what I'd just heard.

"Serafina, her child has to be recognized as the firstborn heir. That's the only way you'll be safe."

The pain in my belly twisted like a knife. Cold sweat beaded across my forehead. Out of the corner of my eye, I glanced at the box of pastries.

My hand drifted to the bare hollow of my throat, where the locket he'd given me before our wedding once hung. The chain was long gone, but my fingers still searched for it.

"Cesare, this is your child too. How could you bear to..."

Cesare's eyes reddened. He apologized again and again.

"I'm sorry, Serafina. She knows you exist. By the timing, your child is further along than hers. She won't allow you to give birth to the firstborn..."

So he laced my favorite pastries with the drug, and I ate them without a second thought.

"Cesare, my stomach hurts so much. I just ate them, there's still time. Please, go find the doctor."

He didn't move. My voice cracked raw with panic. "I won't marry you, is that what you want? I just want my child. I'll take her and leave, go far away. I won't be in your way, I swear."

No matter how I screamed and begged, Cesare didn't flinch.

He held out his arm. "Bite down on this. It won't hurt as much."

I shoved his arm away. "Go find the doctor. I'm begging you, Cesare."

"Serafina, don't be ridiculous. No Family doctor is going to waste his time on someone of your standing."

"The drug's already taken effect. It's too late. Be good. Once Sienna gives birth to the legitimate heir, we can have another child."

I seized his hand and held on with everything I had. "Cesare, listen to me. I am a Valente. Serafina Valente. Don Valente's daughter. Go get the doctor. Save this child."

But he thought I was lying. He wrenched his hand free, anger flashing across his face.

"You've truly disappointed me. If you're going to lie, at least make it believable. This is the city, not your little Hudson Valley cottage. One wrong word here can get you buried where nobody finds you."

He straightened his cuffs and walked out.

"A miscarriage won't kill you. Look after yourself."

I watched his retreating figure until it disappeared. Every last shred of hope in me went with it.

I curled into the corner, the pain splitting me open. I could feel it, every moment of it, the child slipping away from my body.

The child I had longed for day and night, killed by its own father on the very first day he learned of its existence.

I was unconscious through the night. The skirt beneath me soaked through with blood.

The door crashed open with a kick. Sienna Marchetti strode in, flanked by several older servants. The hallway beyond her was still. No guards intervened. No one in this house answered to me anymore.

She glanced at me, drenched in blood from the waist down, then settled into a chair by the table and poured herself a glass of wine as if she had all the time in the world.

"Don't blame me. The child in my belly has to be the firstborn heir. That's the only way I'll have any standing in the Delgado household. Surely you understand."

I braced myself against the wall, barely upright. "So you had my child killed."

Sienna let out a short laugh. "Now that's unfair. Cesare was the one who laced the food. Cesare was the one who didn't want it. All I did was mention it in passing."

I stared at her, unblinking. My nails dug into my palms until the skin split.

She rose and walked over to me, one hand resting on her belly.

"Besides, you should count yourself lucky. Even if your child had survived, it would have been taken from you and raised under the legitimate wife. Better this way, really."

"Bring the tonic over. Make her drink it. Help her recover."

The servants pried my jaw open and forced the liquid down my throat. I recognized the taste. Bitter herbs. The sterilizing concoction. The kind of old-country remedy that doesn't show up in any hospital record, the kind passed between women in whispers and administered in rooms no one speaks about afterward.

I thrashed, tried to spit it out, but they pinned me down and held my mouth shut.

Sienna crouched beside me and patted my cheek, slow and deliberate, every touch a humiliation. "Can't have you bearing more children down the line. All that squabbling over heirs gets so tiresome."

"My wedding is in two days. I still need to go try on my jeweled crown. If you'll excuse me."

As she stood, she let her robe fall open just enough to reveal the pendant at her throat. A saint's medallion on a thin gold chain.

Cesare's medallion. He told me once that his mother left it to him, the only thing he had of hers. And he had given it to Sienna.

My fingers drifted to the hollow of my throat where my own locket used to hang. There was nothing there. Just skin and bone and the absence of everything I'd buried.

She was nearly at the door when she paused, smoothing the front of her dress with both palms, as though something had just occurred to her. "Oh, one more thing. Cesare transferred this property into my name. I hear you're fond of the simple country life, so by all means, keep living here. Just remember, it's my house now. My rules."

My whole body went rigid. When Cesare burned down our cottage, he told me he bought this place for me. Told me I could fill the yard with lemon trees and vegetable gardens.

He never intended to give me anything. Not from the very beginning.

"Sienna."

I called after her, my voice scraped hollow.

"Miss Marchetti, have you ever heard of Serafina Valente? The Don's daughter?"

Sienna froze for a beat. "What, are you going to tell me that reclusive princess has something to do with you?"

I forced a bitter smile. "I heard the Don's daughter has a thing for colored flares. The old Valente signal protocol. If we could make her smile, convince her to attend your wedding, wouldn't that bring honor to the occasion?"

Sienna eyed me with suspicion. "How would a worthless wretch like you know what the Don's daughter likes?"

"Believe it or don't. If it turns out to be false, it's no loss to you either way, Miss Marchetti."

After Sienna left, I curled into the corner of the bed, my body burning with fever, my lower abdomen seized with stabbing pain. No one came.

Looking back now, meeting Cesare Delgado was the single greatest regret of my life.

Through the haze of unconsciousness, I caught a blurred glimpse of colored flares arcing past the window, their light bleeding through the curtains in reds and greens that only someone raised inside the Valente compound would recognize.

Only then did I let out a breath and smile.

Long ago, my father and I had made a pact: whenever the colored flares went up, it meant I was in danger, and someone would come to take me away.

At some point, Cesare appeared. He sat at the edge of my bed for a long time.

When he saw me open my eyes, he touched my forehead. "The fever's broken. Come on, sit up and have some porridge."

I struggled upright. "Sienna came. She forced an entire bowl of that sterilizing concoction down my throat. Did you know?"

Cesare's expression faltered for a moment. He lowered his gaze. "I knew."

"You knew?"

I clenched every muscle in my body to keep the tears from falling.

He reached for my hand. I pulled away.

"Serafina, she was only protecting herself. If you'd given birth, where would that leave her and her child? It's only human nature."

I let out a hollow laugh. Human nature. What a convenient excuse.

Cesare set the bowl down and continued. "After Sienna went home, she had terrible stomach pains. It's possible our child's spirit unsettled her..."

He looked at me, hesitating, then pressed on.

"There's a priest at the Chapel of Santa Maria della Croce. Go to him and ask him to perform rites for the child's soul. Then climb all nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine steps on your hands and knees, one bow per step, and bring back a blessed charm for Sienna. Do that, and we can put this whole matter behind us. Alright?"

I stared at him, my eyes burning red.

"Cesare Delgado, you and I are finished. If you want a blessed charm, go get it yourself."

I dragged myself off the bed, trying to leave this wretched place.

He blocked my path.

He scooped me up, ignoring my thrashing, and threw me into the back seat of a black sedan. The driver tore north along dark roads until the headlights caught the base of the mountain where the chapel sat, invisible against the night sky.

"Take her up the mountain."

Two soldiers seized me by the arms, one on each side. I hauled my broken body forward, dropping to my knees and pressing my forehead to the stone with every step.

Two days without food or water, fresh from a miscarriage. I passed out and woke and passed out again along the way.

I don't remember how I obtained the blessed charm. All I know is that when I finally saw Cesare at the bottom, my legs gave out and I collapsed.

He caught me and gathered me into his arms.

"Serafina, you've suffered so much. I promise, even after I marry Sienna, you'll be the only one in my heart."

I closed my eyes slowly. Three days ago, I might have believed those words. Now they made my stomach turn.

"I got you your blessed charm. Let me go."

He ignored my plea and carried me back to the cottage.

"Serafina, don't be stubborn. The wedding is tomorrow. Sienna has agreed to let you keep living in the cottage afterward. You'll stay out of each other's way. Alright?"

Before leaving, he added one last instruction: "The Don's daughter may come to observe the ceremony tomorrow. Stay in the cottage and don't cause trouble."

Shortly after he left, my father's agents found me.

I looked in the direction he had gone, then at this little cottage in the Hudson Valley that had never truly been mine, and a quiet smile crossed my lips. My fingers drifted to the bare hollow of my throat where a locket once hung, then fell away.

I hope tomorrow, you won't regret this.

On the day of the wedding, the Delgado estate was draped in white flowers and candlelight, every room arranged for a formal alliance ceremony. Cesare stood in a tailored black suit, Sienna at his side. Capos and associates filled the chairs, the old families represented, the Commission's presence implied in the weight of the room.

They were about to begin the vows when a voice cut through from beyond the gates: "Serafina Valente. Daughter of Don Domenico Valente. Boss of Bosses."

The bouquet in Sienna's hands trembled. A smile curled at the corner of her mouth. She smoothed the front of her dress with both palms. She hadn't expected the Don's daughter to actually come.