Trapped in His Cruelty,A Rebirth I Can't Escape

When my husband opened his mouth again, announcing he was taking his precious first love to watch the sunrise at the beach,

I didn't cry. I didn't make a scene.

I just calmly reached for the unopened box of condoms on the nightstand and slipped it into the breast pocket of his suit jacket.

Oliver Gilbert's hand froze on the door handle. He stared at me like I'd grown a second head.

Vivian Mercer, what the hell is wrong with you?

I smiled. Said nothing.

Nothing was wrong with me. I hadn't lost my mind.

I had simply been reborn.

This time, I wanted a different ending.

When I made no move to take the box back, his expression darkened further.

His voice carried an edge of real anger

I'm talking to you. I'm just going to the beach to watch the sunrise. What exactly is this for?

I leaned against the headboard, scrolling through my phone without looking up

I'm perfectly sane. Hotel condoms are cheap garbage. The last thing you need is to knock someone up and waste money on an abortion. Oh, and double-bag it. Sara Swanson gets around. I'd rather not catch something.

His face went black as a thundercloud.

He crossed the room in one stride, snatched the box, and slammed it onto the nightstand so hard the glass rattled.

I've told you a hundred times, there is nothing between me and Sara! Her ex dumped her. She's not thinking straight, she's talking about throwing herself off a cliff into the ocean. I'm going to talk her down. That's it!

Sure.

I bent down, picked the box up off the floor, and tucked it back into his pocket with a pat

All the more reason. Who knows what's in the water? Safety first.

You!

Oliver jabbed a finger at my face, so furious he couldn't form a sentence.

What has gotten into you lately? You used to cry all night if I so much as spoke to Sara, and now you're

He was right. I used to cry.

In my last life, this exact night played out the same way. He left at midnight to comfort heartbroken Sara, and I fought him on it.

He slapped me across the face, called me unreasonable, and slammed the door on his way out.

The rage sent my stomach into acute perforation. I collapsed on the cold tile floor, writhing in agony.

I called him thirty-seven times. He didn't pick up once.

I died alone in that house. By the time the housekeeper found me, my body had already started to decompose.

When they finally came back, my three-year-old son Matthew Gilbert was clinging to Sara Swanson's neck, saying

Aunt Sara, bad mommy's dead. Can you be my mommy now?

Oliver stroked his hair, gentle as anything, and said

Okay.

Now that I was back, I would never be that fool again.

Let them love whoever they wanted. All I needed was to survive.

I pushed the covers aside, got out of bed, and straightened his crooked tie

I used to have water for brains. It's all drained out now.

Go on, hurry up. If you're late and Sara actually jumps, you'll find a way to blame me for her death too.

The bedroom door burst open.

Matthew ran out barefoot, threw himself into Oliver's arms, and tugged at his sleeve, screaming

Daddy, Daddy! I wanna go to Aunt Sara's house too! I don't wanna stay with bad mommy!

My heart seized.

In my last life, he was exactly the same.

At three, he called me bad mommy. At four, he scraped the meals I cooked into the trash.

At five, he held a fruit knife to my face and said he was going to kill me to avenge Aunt Sara.

I thought being reborn had prepared me. I thought I'd armored myself for this.

But hearing those two words from my own son's mouth again, my chest clenched so tight I couldn't breathe.

Oliver frowned but didn't correct the boy.

He just looked at me, his tone heavy with the kind of blame that assumed it was already settled

See? You're too hard on him. He's scared of you.

Be good, Matthew. It's too late tonight. Daddy will take you to see Aunt Sara tomorrow, okay?

No no no!

Matthew shook his head hard, his small finger jabbing toward me, eyes full of disgust

She yells at me! And she won't let me have ice cream! Aunt Sara never yells at me, and she buys me lots and lots of toys! I want Aunt Sara to be my mommy!

I said nothing. I turned and walked into Matthew's bedroom.

Ten minutes later, I came back out dragging a small Ultraman suitcase and set it down at Oliver's feet.

His change of clothes and allergy medication are inside. He needs to hold the blue teddy bear when he sleeps or he'll cry. Absolutely no mangoes or seafood. He'll break out in a rash.

Oliver's face went white. He seized my wrist.

Vivian, what the hell is this? You're using our son to get back at me?

I'm not getting back at anyone.

I pulled free of his grip, calm and steady. A ring of red already circled my wrist.

Since he likes Sara better, let him go with you. Perfect. Your happy little family of three, all together.

Oliver was shaking with rage

What did you just say? He's your own flesh and blood! How can those words even come out of your mouth?

Vivian, you really are getting more cold-blooded by the day!

Matthew joined in, yelling

Yeah! Bad mommy is cold-blooded! I don't want you anymore! I'm going with Daddy and Aunt Sara!

I tugged at the corner of my mouth

Sure. Then go.

Oliver stared at me, eyes heavy with disappointment.

He thought I'd break down crying and beg him to stay, the way I always used to. He thought I was just throwing a tantrum.

But he didn't know I'd already died once.

When the heart dies, nothing matters anymore.

Fine! You said it, not me! Don't come crying to me later!

He scooped Matthew up, shot me one last vicious glare, and slammed the door on his way out.

The house went quiet all at once.

I walked to the window and watched Oliver's car pull out of the complex.

The headlights traced a cold arc through the darkness.

Then I took out my phone and sent my lawyer a message

Get the divorce agreement ready. I don't want a cent of the assets. Full custody to Oliver. As fast as possible.

Three days later was my third wedding anniversary with Oliver.

In my last life, I'd started preparing a month in advance.

I baked his favorite cake by hand and bought the limited-edition watch he'd been talking about for ages.

I even wore the white dress he said I looked prettiest in.

He didn't come home until four in the morning, reeking of Sara's perfume, and told me

Sorry. Sara has a fever. I need to stay at the hospital with her.

I asked him through tears

In your heart, who matters more? Me or her?

He shoved me aside, irritated

Vivian, can you grow up? Sara has no one. She's completely alone. I can't just abandon her. You're my wife. You should understand.

So this time around, I didn't prepare a thing.

Seven in the morning. The lock clicked.

Oliver was back, with Matthew in tow.

The moment Matthew walked through the door, he charged into the living room and hurled a pink stuffed bunny straight into my face.

Bad mommy! Look! Aunt Sara bought this for me! It's prettier than any toy you ever got me!

The bunny's ear caught the corner of my eye, a sharp, stinging flare of pain.

I picked up the stuffed bunny and tossed it into the trash can beside me.

Oliver's brow creased immediately

What are you doing? Sara picked that out for Matthew herself.

I wiped the spot on my face where the toy had hit

Oh. I thought throwing it at me meant he didn't want it. Just helping him take out the trash.

Oliver was too angry to speak.

He pulled a sleek jewelry box from his pocket and tossed it onto the coffee table.

Enough. I know you're upset, so drop the passive-aggressive act. I didn't forget our anniversary.

It's for you. Anniversary gift. Sara helped me pick it out. She said it would look good on you.

I opened the box. Inside was a pearl necklace.

Identical to the one he'd given Sara for her birthday in my previous life.

I smiled faintly, picked up the necklace without so much as a glance, and set it aside.

You don't have to go through the motions for my sake. Tomorrow's Sara's birthday anyway. Save the necklace for her. It'll make a perfect gift.

His expression darkened

How do you know tomorrow is Sara's birthday?

I don't just know it's her birthday. I also know you canceled our anniversary dinner reservation and rebooked the most expensive revolving restaurant in the city for her party.

I looked at him, my voice as flat as if I were commenting on the weather

I even ordered the cake for you. Black Forest. Her favorite. Don't bother coming home tonight. I'll just get takeout.

Oliver froze.

It probably never crossed his mind that the woman who used to cry all night when he forgot their anniversary would one day volunteer to plan another woman's birthday for him.

Vivian, you

I cut him off

Don't be touched.

I just don't want to fight with you over this anymore. I'm tired.

I turned and walked into the kitchen.

Behind me, Matthew's voice rang out

Daddy, Aunt Sara said she's taking me to Disneyland tomorrow! I finally don't have to stay with bad mommy! Yay, Aunt Sara!

Oliver quickly clamped a hand over Matthew's mouth

Don't say things like that.

I leaned against the kitchen door and closed my eyes.

It's fine. It's really fine.

A few more days, and I could leave this hell for good.

That afternoon, I spoke with my lawyer about the divorce agreement.

On my way back, I passed Matthew's preschool. I hesitated, then went in.

I wanted to find his teacher and go over the details of his care going forward.

When I reached the classroom door, I saw Sara crouched down, tying Matthew's shoelaces.

Matthew had his arms wrapped around her neck. He kissed her cheek, his little voice soft and sweet

Aunt Sara, will you be my mommy? I don't like that bad mommy.

Sara spotted me and immediately pushed Matthew away

Matthew, don't say silly things.

She stood, walked over to me, and arranged her face into something apologetic.

Vivian, I'm so sorry. I just happened to be passing by and popped in to check on Matthew.

I never taught him to say any of that. Please don't read into it.

It's fine.

I walked over to Matthew and reached for his hand

Matthew, Mommy wants to talk to you about something.

Matthew shoved me so hard I nearly lost my balance

No! You're not my mommy! Aunt Sara is my mommy! Go away!

There was no time to grieve over his words.

My sleeve had ridden up, exposing the jade bracelet on my wrist.

It was the only thing my mother left me before she died. I'd worn it for over a decade, never once taken it off.

But Matthew's eyes lit up, and he grabbed for it

That bracelet's so pretty! I'm gonna give it to Aunt Sara!

I clutched my wrist

No! You can't have this!

I want it, I want it!

Matthew screamed and sank his teeth into my hand.

Blood welled up instantly.

Sara hurried over and pulled him away

Matthew, don't bite Mommy!

She's not my mommy!

Matthew thrashed wildly, grabbed the ceramic cup from the table, and hurled it straight at me.

I raised my hand to block it on instinct.

The cup smashed against my wrist and shattered.

The jade bracelet fell with the broken shards, hitting the floor and splitting in two.

I stood frozen, staring at the wreckage scattered across the ground, every drop of blood in my body turning to ice.

Sara rushed over with a tissue to wipe my hand

Vivian, I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. Please don't be upset. Matthew's still little, he doesn't know any better.

I lifted my head and looked at her, my gaze cold

He doesn't know any better. What's your excuse?

Sara, you stole my husband. You stole my son. And now you're taking the only thing my mother left me. Are you really that desperate for a man and a child?

Her eyes reddened instantly, tears spilling down her cheeks like beads from a broken string

I didn't

Vivian, I really didn't mean for any of this

Oliver walked in. The second he saw Sara crying, he strode over and pulled her behind him.

He pointed at me, voice a snarl

Vivian, what the hell is wrong with you now? Sara came here out of kindness to see Matthew, and you're screaming at her?

I pointed at the broken bracelet on the floor. My voice shook no matter how hard I tried to steady it

So what if I yelled at her?

Oliver, open your eyes! This is the only thing my mother ever left me! And your son just smashed it to pieces!

Oliver frowned, his face tight with impatience.

It's just a bracelet. It's broken, so what? I'll buy you a better one tomorrow. Is that really worth making such a scene and reducing Sara to tears?

I laughed. Laughed until tears ran down my face

In your eyes, my mother's keepsake is just a bracelet?

What else would it be?

A dead person's junk. Keeping it around is bad luck.

He picked up Matthew, wrapped his arm around Sara's waist, and walked out without looking back.

At the doorway, Matthew turned and stuck his tongue out at me

Bad mommy! Serves you right!

The door slammed shut with a bang.

History was repeating itself.

Every line of this life was tracing over the last one, perfectly aligned.

I crouched on the floor and picked up the shards of the bracelet, piece by piece.

A sharp edge sliced my finger. Blood dripped onto the floor, blooming like tiny roses.

For the first time, I felt it: a helplessness against fate that reached all the way to my bones.

That night at eight, my stomach started to hurt.

At first it was just a dull, distant ache.

I figured it was my old condition flaring up, so I dug through the medicine cabinet, found the antacids, and swallowed two with cold water.

But the pain didn't ease. It got worse.

Cold sweat rolled down my forehead, soaking through my pajamas in minutes.

I curled up on the couch, shaking from the pain.

I knew. Acute gastric perforation, same as before.

Exactly like my last life.

I dragged myself off the couch and tried to reach my phone to call an ambulance.

Two steps in, my legs buckled and I hit the floor hard.

The pain peaked in a single white-hot instant.

I clenched my teeth, pressed my palms flat against the floor, and inched toward the coffee table.

Every movement felt like something inside me was being torn loose.

Finally, my fingers found the phone.

I thought of my last life, left alone in this house by Oliver to die.

I took a deep breath and dialed 911.

I gave them the address. Then my grip gave out. The phone slipped from my hand and landed silently on the carpet.

The minutes crawled.

I lay on the floor, consciousness fraying at the edges.

Some stretch of time later, the wail of an ambulance siren cut through the silence outside the door.

I bit down hard and used the very last of my strength to pull myself up from the floor.

I braced myself against the wall and dragged my body toward the door, one step at a time.

The door opened.

But the people standing outside weren't paramedics in white coats.

They were four bodyguards in black suits, their faces blank.

The ambulance lights flashed behind them.

Several paramedics stood at the edge of the yard, held back by two more guards.

My heart dropped.

I gripped the doorframe, my voice barely there

Whowho are you? Let the paramedics in! I'm dying!

The lead bodyguard looked at me without expression, his tone ice-cold

Ms. Mercer, Mr. Gilbert has instructed us to watch over you starting today. You are not to leave the house and cause trouble.

I stared at him in disbelief

I'm not causing trouble! My stomach is perforated! I'm going to die! Let them in!

Mr. Gilbert told us you like to fake illnesses for sympathy. That you'll do anything to get your way.

Another bodyguard scrunched his nose and looked me up and down

Pretty convincing act. If Mr. Gilbert hadn't warned us ahead of time, we might've actually bought it.

I'm not faking! I'm really dying!

I lunged forward, trying to push past them, but two guards blocked me with their arms.

Ms. Mercer, please cooperate. Go back inside and stay put.

If Mr. Gilbert finds out you snuck out to make a scene, we lose our pay for the month.

Just then, the neighbor next door heard the commotion and poked her head out.

What's going on? What's all this noise in the middle of the night?

The lead bodyguard instantly switched to a polite smile

Sorry for the disturbance, ma'am.

The lady of the house has some mental health issues. She likes to run outside and call ambulances for fake emergencies. Mr. Gilbert had no choice but to station us here to keep her from bothering the other residents.

The neighbor's expression changed immediately

So she's crazy? I was wondering why someone would call 911 in the middle of the night. Turns out it's all an act!

If you're sick in the head, stay home. Why come out and make everyone else suffer? What a waste of emergency resources!

What if someone actually needed that ambulance and you held it up? If somebody dies because of you, whose fault is that?

Every word from the neighbor cut into me like a knife.

I opened my mouth, trying to explain.

But the pain was so severe I couldn't force out a single word.

All I could do was press both hands against my stomach and look at them, pleading with my eyes.

No one felt sorry for me.

The neighbors slammed their doors shut, still cursing under their breath.

The bodyguards talked the paramedics into leaving. The siren grew fainter and fainter until it disappeared into the night.

The lead bodyguard looked at me, his voice flat

Ms. Mercer, you can go back inside now.

He shoved me.

I was already barely standing. The push sent me stumbling backward.

The door slammed shut with a bang.

Darkness swallowed me whole.

I tried to turn back for my phone, to call the police.

But the moment I turned, my vision went black.

I hit the floor hard.

Blood poured from the corner of my mouth, steady and warm, soaking into the white wool rug beneath me.

Right before my consciousness slipped away for good.

I thought I heard it again, from my last life. Oliver, stroking Matthew's head, his voice gentle

Sure. From now on, Aunt Sara will be your new mommy.

So it didn't matter whether I was reborn or not.

I couldn't change a thing.

A book reads the same no matter how many times you open it. The ending never changes.

Midnight.

Oliver carried Matthew into the yard, laughing and chatting as they walked in.

Daddy, the jade bracelet you bought Aunt Sara is so pretty! It's a million times prettier than bad mommy's ugly old bracelet!

Of course it is.

Oliver laughed and ruffled his son's hair

As long as Aunt Sara likes it, Daddy will buy her anything she wants. Good thing I had someone keeping an eye on your mom today, or she would've ruined Sara's birthday.

Yeah! Bad mommy is the worst!

Oliver exchanged a glance with the bodyguards.

All six of them dispersed in an instant.

He pinched Matthew's chubby cheek with a grin, humming contentedly as he pressed his fingerprint to the lock.

The next second, father and son both screamed.