This Stop, I'm Getting Off Alone

The first stop on our road trip, just the two of us.

I got thirsty and went into the rest area to buy water, and when I came back, Will Harding had driven off.

I called him ten times. Every call went straight to silence.

An hour later he finally picked up, and the voice on the line was my best friend's.

"Sorry, Junie. Will just turned around to come get me. We're on the highway now, we'll reach your rest stop in an hour, tops."

I hung up and saw that the post I'd made earlier from Will's account, before we left, had a flood of new comments.

Under the wall of "so jealous" and little hearts, there was one from Bertha Roman, dressed up with a cutesy emoticon.

*Sneaking off on a trip without me, I'm mad!*

And Will's reply to her:

*Heading downstairs now. I'll come back for you.*

Something in me wanted to laugh.

Before this, Will couldn't be bothered to buy a second bottle of water for me. He couldn't be bothered to pull over and pick me up on his way home from work, even when it was on the route.

Because he was that lazy, it took me a year and a half of coaxing and wheedling before he agreed to a pre-wedding road trip. He even planned the route himself.

That change in Will had kept me up for nights, too excited to sleep.

And now I understood. The change I'd worked so hard to earn, that I'd practically begged for, someone else could pull out of him without lifting a finger.

By the time the third wave of travelers had cycled through the rest area, Will's car finally pulled in.

Bertha climbed out holding the iced tea she always got, smiling bright as anything.

"Her Majesty Junie! I knew you'd been waiting forever, so I brought you an iced tea, hand-delivered!"

She pulled a cup out of the bag, stuck a straw in it, and pushed it at my mouth.

I took a sip on reflex, and the second I tasted mango I jerked my head away and coughed it back out.

The itch crawled up my throat. I braced a hand on the wall and couldn't stop coughing, until my eyes started to water.

Bertha gasped and rounded on Will.

"What is wrong with you, Will? I told you to go buy iced tea, why would you get one with mango in it? Junie's allergic to mango!"

Will fired back without missing a beat.

"How was I supposed to know what to get? I just bought two mango smoothies."

"You idiot, the whole point was to get Junie's flavor. Don't tell me you saw me drink a mango smoothie one time and decided that's the only thing the place sells."

I wiped the corners of my eyes and took the water Will held out without a word.

The same as so many times before, I listened to him say,

"If it were June Winfield, you'd just buy a bottle of water and be done with it. Not like you, always making me memorize all this nonsense. Such a hassle."

But however much of a hassle it was, he'd still remembered, hadn't he?

That sentence surfaced in my mind out of nowhere.

The truth is I love iced tea too, and I love making Will go buy it for me.

But he was always too lazy. Too lazy to tap into the app, too lazy to check the ingredients for anything I was allergic to.

I'd remind him to his face, and a breath later he'd say he forgot.

Back then Will would be cradling his phone, mid-match in a ranked game, not looking up.

"Water's perfectly fine too. Who actually memorizes stuff like that?"

I'd ordered the exact same iced tea in front of him more times than I could count.

And none of it stuck the way one careless glance had, two years ago, when he came to pick us up after Bertha and I went to a movie.

Will and Bertha walked ahead.

I fell a step behind, digging through my bag for my allergy medicine.

When I looked up, Bertha was already in the passenger seat.

I met her eyes from outside the car.

She smacked her own forehead.

"Look at me, where's my head. Junie, come sit up front."

"No need."

"No need."

Will and I said it at the same time.

For once, something like surprise crossed his face. Fair enough. It wasn't the first time Bertha had taken the passenger seat by mistake.

Every other time, I'd switched back with her.

But today, there was really no point.

I gave him a glance and pulled open the back door.

Bertha turned around, and out of nowhere she got all mysterious.

"Don't tell me we're soulmates or something. The snowy mountains you two are headed to? That's the exact place I've always wanted to go. I never would've guessed you'd want to vacation there, Junie, when you can't even ski."

In the rearview mirror, Will looked at me again.

One hand loose on the wheel, he said it like it was nothing.

"We were going to do the beach, but she didn't want to tan, so I planned the whole thing around the mountains instead. June said she wanted to learn to ski."

Bertha listened closely, fishing her hand cream out of the storage box like she'd done it a hundred times.

"Honestly, the beach would've been nice too. I love the ocean."

"All right, can we have some quiet." Will cut in and turned on the music.

It was his alarm tone.

And just like that I was back to a little over a year ago, the second day after Will finally agreed to the road trip.

I'd woken up early because I was so excited.

After I switched off his alarm, before I knew it I'd opened his chat app.

The night before, Bertha had sent him another string of complaints about work.

I scrolled through them without thinking, and then I went still.

*I want a vacation so bad, I want to go to the beach so bad, ahhh!*

*Will, Mr. Harding, if you guys ever hit the beach, take me with you~*

Will had answered her.

*Sure.*

I stared at those messages for ten minutes, until my eyes ached, before I let the screen go dark.

When Will woke up and wrapped his arms around me from behind, all sleepy and clingy,

I said it as lightly as I could.

"Let's skip the beach for the road trip. Didn't you say I don't look good when I tan?"

What I was thinking at the time was this:

I didn't actually mind Bertha coming along on a trip with us.

I'd known both of them for more than ten years, after all.

But why was the place Will chose for the trip the one she loved?

He didn't take long to think about it.

He kissed me.

"Sure, let's do skiing then. I'll teach you."

Remembering all that, I couldn't help laughing out loud in the car.

Will turned and asked what was funny.

I shook my head. Nothing.

I just thought the version of me from a year ago had been so naive.

Thinking it was enough as long as Will was changing things for me.

Even though I didn't like the beach, and I had no real interest in skiing.

I unlocked my phone and bought a ticket to a different destination.

This time, I was going where I wanted to go.

We checked in at the little town below the mountain.

We'd planned to ski tomorrow, but I no longer intended to go up.

So I only took my own bag,

and left the gear in the trunk.

Will parked, looked at what was in my hands, and for once he was sharp.

"Why didn't you grab the ski gear?"

I answered offhand.

"Forgot."

But I didn't scramble to turn back for it the way I always used to.

After I keyed into the room, Will came in with the luggage.

He saw me crouched on the floor, going through my suitcase,

and walked over.

"You mad?"

I didn't turn around.

"No."

The next second he pulled me up and into his arms.

Will's arms had always been warm,

ready to take in any mood.

When we were kids I'd only thought of him as the older boy, a year ahead of me,

until he chased off the stalker ex-boyfriend who wouldn't leave me alone,

and held me, soothing me while I was still shaking.

That was the moment I realized how fast my heart was beating.

Nothing at all like the quiet, steady beat of it now.

Will laughed softly.

"You're jealous, aren't you. Because I brought Bertha along too."

"I only did it because she's your best friend. Otherwise I wouldn't have given her a second look."

He cupped my face and pressed a few light kisses to it.

"Bertha said you got jealous easily, and I didn't believe her. Turns out it's true."

Will laughed again, and the laugh slid like a needle into a chest that already ached.

Then his phone buzzed.

He glanced at it and shook his head, helpless.

"Bertha didn't bring her hand warmers. I'll go take her some."

He bent over my suitcase, took out a whole pack of hand warmers, and went next door.

I looked down at the two warmers left alone in the case.

For no reason at all, I felt cold.

I remembered the time I forgot my pajamas in the shower.

They'd been right there next to Will, and he couldn't be bothered to get up and pass them in to me.

But it was more than ten steps from this suite to Bertha's room.

And it never once occurred to him to say no.

Will didn't come back for two hours.

He seemed about to explain something, then saw I was already lying with my back to him.

When I opened my eyes the next morning,

Will was already dressed,

fixing Bertha's collar she'd slipped in at some point without my noticing.

"Zip it all the way up, or you'll get cold."

Bertha stuck out her tongue.

Watching them, I sat up.

"You two go enjoy yourselves today. I'll stay behind."

I hadn't planned on going up the mountain today anyway.

Watching how easily they moved around each other, I figured I'd only be in the way.

"June, you're up? What did you just say?"

Bertha blinked, then patted Will's arm.

"June was just calling you. Say something."

Will's mouth curved.

"You think she's like you, needing to be coaxed out of bed?"

He turned to me.

"I was going to let you sleep in, then forgot to wake you. Hurry and get washed up, we're about to head out."

He bent and gathered the things.

"Bertha, let's go down first. We'll wait for June at the bottom."

I got up and looked down through the window.

Bertha walked in front, turning back now and then to say something with a laugh.

And Will, behind her, answered every time, not the way he was with me, where there was rarely anything to talk about.

With her, Will always had so much to say.

I don't like video games, and I don't like extreme sports.

The cave diving, the skiing, the skydiving he loved, none of it was anything I could do with him.

Yet in these ten years with him, I never once felt there was anything wrong with us.

People don't have to be alike to belong together.

But watching Will's face now,

I knew he was happy today a hundred times happier than the dull weekends with me, sipping whatever mess of a cocktail I'd thrown together.

I opened our chat.

He'd just asked when I was coming down.

I wanted to type "let's break up," but my fingers wouldn't move.

So I sent a voice message instead.

"You all go ahead. I'm not coming."

"Will, we don't fit. Let's just break up."

First he sent back a single "okay."

Then a voice message of his own.

"Okay, hurry up and catch up. We'll wait for you up front."

Will had gotten lazy again.

Two messages, and he'd read half of one transcript,

and hadn't even glanced at the other.

He probably figured the second one was just me telling them to wait.

He'd always done this. Always.

I set down my phone and sat in silence for a long while.

The room phone rang. I picked it up.

"Yes, I booked a driver. To the station."

The swing between day and night temperatures had left me with a low fever.

While I waited for the driver, my head started to go heavy and dim.

By the time my mind cleared, there were already more missed calls on my phone than I could count.

I didn't catch who was calling. I tapped to call back.

"June, why didn't you follow us up?!"

The voice in the receiver matched the one in front of me. Will Harding was standing there.

His face was dark, and the moment he saw the suitcase beside me, he started yelling.

"What are you pulling now?!"

"Why didn't you come up? Do you have any idea how worried Bertha was when she couldn't reach you? She rolled down the mountain looking for you, and we still haven't found her!"

I shook my head and scrolled through the missed calls one by one.

"She never called me"

He smacked the phone out of my hand. It dropped into the snow.

His eyes were cold as ice.

"June, this is all because you threw a fit about me bringing Bertha along, isn't it? Now you've gotten her hurt, and you're still playing innocent?"

"I honestly never thought you were the kind of person who could be cruel enough to get her own best friend killed."

Both temples were pounding. I rubbed them,

then bent down and picked up the phone.

"If that's what you think, then fine. That's what it is."

I pulled up my suitcase to leave,

and he grabbed my wrist.

"Someone's missing and you want to walk away? You're coming up to find her with me!"

He was stronger than me,

and I was running a fever, my arms and legs weak.

I didn't even have time to put on more layers before he dragged me up the mountain.

The rescue team had already arrived, but the wind had picked up and visibility dropped fast.

Will pulled me along. The whole way, there was only the sound of our breathing.

He frowned and glanced back.

"How many hand warmers did you stick on? Why is your hand so hot?"

My lips had gone pale.

"None."

He scoffed.

"Still faking."

We walked another hundred yards. The wind and snow grew heavier, until I couldn't see a foot ahead.

Then, out of the wind, came the sound of someone crying.

I didn't even have time to make out where it came from

before my hand was wrenched loose.

"Bertha, it's me!"

The snow was deep, but not firm.

I stumbled backward and rolled a good ten yards,

stopping only when my back slammed into a rock.

Through the blur of snow, I watched Will lift Bertha onto his back.

Their two shapes merged into one.

The wind was loud. Bertha shouted into his ear.

"Where's June? Is she okay?!"

He looked around. I was nowhere in sight.

"Forget her. Right now you're what matters!"

When I woke, I was lying in a little clinic in the mountain town.

Bertha's eyes were red, and she was gripping my hand for dear life.

"You're finally awake. I was worried sick!"

"It's all my fault. There was no signal up there, so I couldn't get through to you, and then I slipped and fell down the mountain. And Will, honestly, what was he thinking, dragging you up there!"

I listened in silence, until Bertha ran out of things to say.

"June, why won't you talk? Is your throat sore?"

"Of course she has nothing to say. Don't make excuses for her. She's the one who started this."

Will walked in, face blank, carrying a bowl of porridge.

"I got your favoriteplain chicken and rice. June, fine, you had a fever on the mountain, but why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"You're an adult. Can't you act like it?"

I looked at the bowl. I didn't have the strength to explain anything.

I stirred the porridge with the spoon and couldn't bring myself to swallow a single bite.

Will gave an impatient click of his tongue,

picked up the bowl, scooped a spoonful, and went to push it into my mouth.

I turned my head away.

"That was never my favorite."

"That's impossible, you clearly always"

Bertha was getting flustered. She reached over to take it.

"Stop fighting, both of you ah!"

A whole bowl of porridge came down, most of it splashing across the hospital bed.

Will's eyes brimmed with panic.

"Bertha, are you all right?"

Bertha's eyes welled up as she peeled off the soiled jacket and dabbed at her hands with a tissue.

"I'm fine... it's me, it's my fault, I never should have come with you two..."

"As long as I leave, you two won't fight anymore."

She bent toward me.

And I saw it clearly then. The hickey on her neck.

For one instant our eyes met, and I understood exactly what was in hers.

A fire flared up inside my fever-clouded head.

I swung my hand and slapped her, hard.

"June!!"

The next second.

Will's eyes nearly split with rage, and his hand came back across my face.

I covered my cheek. I couldn't hear anything anymore.

Will chased after Bertha, out the door.

At the threshold he turned back.

"Have you lost your mind? She's your best friend."

I laughed under my breath. The palm pressed against half my face came away a little wet.

On my phone, a notification slid up: the train left in three hours.

I knew. It really was time to go.

Will chased Bertha all the way back to the hotel and watched her cry herself to sleep.

Unsettled, he took out his phone, meaning to message June.

He stared at the chat window.

He saw the two voice messages June had sent him that morning, before they set out.

He'd only listened to one.

For no reason he could name, he opened the first.

*You all go ahead. I'm not coming.*

It hit Will then that maybe he'd blamed her for nothing.

His pulse stumbled.

He tapped the second one, still marked with its red dot

*Will, we don't work. Let's just break up.*

His mind went blank.

Whether his hand shook, or whether it just hadn't sunk in,

he tapped the screen again.

June's familiar voice came through the speaker.

Not coaxing, not the soft hello he was used to.

*Will, we don't work. Let's just break up.*