Ignoring the Male Lead

Sebastian Cross broke his word in front of the whole room, so I grabbed him by the collar and kissed him.

You don't get to lie to me and walk away clean, I said against his mouth.

I kissed him like I meant it, and he didn't pull away. For one stupid second I forgot to be angry.

Then I saw them.

Words. Scrolling in the air above his head, bright as subtitles, where no one alive could read them but me.

[OH MY GOD he's been CONTAMINATED. the villainess actually put her mouth on the male lead??]

[ahem. the male lead is not yours to kiss, side character. know your place.]

[relax. she drowns in chapter nine. he only ever pulls the heroine out of the water. the villainess dies right on schedule.]

[so done watching her cling to him every single day. author. write. her. OUT.]

Me?

So that was the deal. I was the villainess. The doomed one. A whole year of throwing myself at Sebastian Cross, and there it was at last, the reason he never once looked back.

I pulled away. Looked up. Met his eyes.

"Are we done here?"

I wiped my mouth. "Right. Done. Sorry. My bad. Won't happen again."

Survival first. I bolted.

And I left the untouchable Sebastian Cross standing in the middle of it all, stunned, for what might have been the first time in his life.

Chapter 1

My mouth was still warm from a kiss I never should have given him.

Twenty minutes earlier, I'd been so sure.

The department's coding competition had come down to one last vote, a tiebreaker, and it sat with Sebastian. I'd cornered him the day before and begged until he promised it was mine. He said yes. And I was dumb enough to tell people. Half the room knew Sebastian Cross had promised me that vote.

So I stood there twisting my fingers, stars in my eyes, waiting for him to come to me.

He looked at me once. Just once. Something moved behind his eyes that I couldn't read, like he was running a quiet number in his head and deciding what I came out to.

Then he turned, walked to Sienna, and pressed the vote under her name.

The room went quiet. Every head swung to me. My face did the thing faces do when they forget how to hold still.

That was when I grabbed him. Punishment, I told myself. For the lie.

Stupid.

Because here was the truth the Comments had just handed me, free of charge. He didn't like me. He was never going to. A whole year of believing that if I tried hard enough the ice would finally crack, and it turned out I wasn't even a real character. I was cannon fodder. A side dish nobody orders.

His vote cost me the competition. Cost me the prize too, two concert tickets I'd been daydreaming about for weeks.

But losing wasn't the part that scooped me hollow. It was that even he wouldn't pick me. Even him.

And the Comments had saved the best for last. When it came down to it, Sebastian Cross would stand there and let me drown to save Sienna.

Cool. Tragic. Whatever.

I have parents who love me. I have money in my account. I have a life, and projects I built with my own two hands. Why keep starving over one boy who locks every door and won't leave so much as a crumb?

Survival first.

I was done chasing Sebastian Cross.

* * *

Next morning, eight a.m. class. Kai waved me over the second he saw me.

"Hey. Margot." He patted the seat beside him, the one I'd bribed him to save. The seat next to Sebastian. The arrangement was simple. Kai held it, and gave it up the moment I walked in.

I waved him off and dropped into a seat up front instead.

Sebastian's eyes lifted to me. His mouth went tight. He looked annoyed. Then again, he always looked annoyed. A year of burning for him, and I'd never once stopped to notice how cold he ran. From here it was almost frightening.

I texted Kai.

Me: [Don't come over. You can stop saving me a seat. Thanks.]

Behind me, the whispering started up and didn't stop.

"What does she mean, he doesn't need to save her the seat anymore?"

"Obviously our boy Sebastian broke her little heart. Didn't give her the tiebreaker yesterday. She finally took the hint."

"I heard her childhood guy's coming back, too. Beckett. Maybe she figured out the boy next door was the safer bet all along."

The Comments wouldn't quit either.

[oh the villain's BACK. Beckett. spoiler, he doesn't get a happy ending either. fights the male lead over the heroine, totals his car, never walks right again.]

[a racer who can't race. honestly killing him off would've been the kinder move.]

[hot take, the villainess and Beckett should just lock it down. childhood sweethearts, both a little unhinged, the ship would be SO good.]

I rolled my eyes at the empty air.

Ship everything and you'll choke on it.

But if they were right about Beckett wrecking his leg over the heroine, that was the one I couldn't let slide.

* * *

Beckett's car was idling outside the dorms when I got there, low and loud and his.

He handed me a bouquet. The one still in his other hand was nicer.

"I'll trade you for the one you're holding," I said.

"No chance." He didn't even look down. "Buy one, get one free. Yours is the freebie."

"Unbelievable. You'd really pick a pretty face over your oldest friend."

The Comments came back to me. "Do you actually have to be this into Sienna?"

His brows pulled together. "Obviously."

I didn't know whether to tell him what kept scrolling over everyone's heads. But I'd known Beckett since we were both in single digits, and once that boy decided a thing, it stayed decided. So we let the quiet sit between us.

Kai wandered past and lifted a hand. "Margot. Who's this?"

"My friend Beckett."

"The famous Beckett." Kai grinned. "Heard a lot about you."

Beckett gave him a nod. But his eyes had already slid past Kai and landed across the lot, on Sebastian Cross. Cold. Level.

And Sebastian was already looking back.

Neither of them blinked.

Chapter 2

The Comments were having a field day.

[everyone LOOK the male lead and the villain are two seconds from drawing blood]

[the alpha standoff energy is UNREAL]

[am I the only one clocking the way the male lead's eyes keep sliding to the villainess??]

[don't tell me he thinks the villain and the side character have a thing. is he... jealous?]

[which eye did you watch that with. he gave the heroine the tiebreaker. stop sabotaging the canon ship.]

Once the staring contest broke up, Sebastian and Kai headed off together.

"You saw that, right?" Kai said, a little sheepish. "Margot and her childhood guy, all cozy. She's done chasing you, man. Peace and quiet at last."

Sebastian's jaw set. He cut Kai a flat look. "You talk a lot."

* * *

The class camping trip. I never expected Sebastian Cross to come.

The last time it came up, I'd teased him about it. We should share a tent.

He'd stopped mid-stride. Looked at me. "No."

"Why not? I'm a very polite sleeper. I don't even snore."

His throat had worked once. "I'm busy. I'm not going."

And yet here he was. Surprise number one.

The surprise died the second Sienna stepped out of the next car. Of course. He'd come for her.

Beckett had come for Sienna too.

The class rep clocked him standing next to me. "Margot. Who's"

"I'm family," Beckett said.

"Family how?"

"Her brother."

Sebastian, who never bothered to say two words to anyone, let out a small, cold laugh.

"Half-brother," he said. "Different mom. Different dad."

Beckett's mouth curved. "Hey. You nailed it."

The Comments were delighted.

[the villainess and the villain really are a matched set. half-sibling energy. I am DECEASED.]

[the male lead clocked the villain's whole game, look how worked up he is, he's actually talking now.]

[ME AGAIN but he only gets snippy when he's staring at the villainess?? what if he wants HER and not the heroine.]

[not you again. he gave the heroine the vote. he does not want the side character. log off.]

I sighed at the air, right along with the rest of them.

Right. If Sebastian cared about me, he would've given me the vote.

* * *

One of the retreat activities was building your own fire and cooking your own dinner.

While Sienna cooked, Beckett bounced around her trying to help with the flames. Got soot all down his own face. Then managed to light the hem of his own shirt on fire.

I grabbed my jacket and started beating at him.

Someone yelled to get the shirt off him. In the scramble Beckett bent down and I went at the hem, hauling it up.

"You two really don't mind an audience," somebody laughed. "Clothes off, just like that."

Before I could ask who he thought was half of a couple

"Move. Coming through"

I jumped clear.

A full basin of water came down over Beckett's head.

Sebastian set the empty basin on the ground like he'd just done everyone a public service. He didn't look at Beckett. He didn't have to.

The Comments completely lost it.

[that bucket was at LEAST forty percent personal grudge]

[in fairness the villain won't stop buzzing around the heroine like a fly. man's just guarding his plate.]

[okay but the villain is BUILT though. shoulders, that waist, and those soaked jeans are not leaving much to the imagination.]

Sebastian watched Beckett stand there, dripping and grinning, and the look on his face could have stripped the paint off a wall.

Whatever the Comments thought he was guarding, I hadn't crossed his mind once.

Obviously.

Chapter 3

I didn't want the two of them throwing punches.

So I caught Beckett's arm and pulled him toward the tree line. "Come on. Let's get you into something dry."

We made it two steps before Sebastian's voice came from behind us.

"Margot. You're leaving? Who's cooking for your group, then?"

Beckett threw him a look that could've curdled milk and tipped his chin at me.

"Go on back," he said. "I'll change on my own."

I turned and headed for the fire pits. As I passed Sebastian, he said it flat and even.

"Cute. The married couple."

He'd just soaked Beckett, and now he was circling back to needle me. Rotten to the core, that one.

The Comments caught it.

[guys. GUYS. something is OFF with the male lead. he says stuff all sour and weird like that. tell me that's not jealousy.]

[that's called sarcasm. if he's jealous over the side character I'll do a handstand and chug a gallon of milk.]

* * *

I can't cook. Never could.

In the end I threw together one sad pepper-and-pork stir-fry, then salted it like I had a personal grudge against everyone who'd ever take a bite. Salty enough to make you question your life choices.

Beckett asked which dish was mine. I pointed.

He reached for it.

"Don't," I said. "It's a salt lick."

He took a bite anyway. Didn't even blink. "It's fine."

He didn't look like he was lying.

No way. Something was wrong with his tongue.

I tried a bite myself and nearly hit the ground. Salt. Pure salt.

Beckett did that on purpose.

I glared at him.

Then Sebastian's chopsticks came in toward the plate, and I yanked it out of reach.

Look, I know. But there was no universe where I let Sebastian Cross taste how bad I cooked. Next to Sienna's perfect fish stew, my sad little stir-fry already looked like a kid's science project. And I'd drowned it in salt on top of that.

His chopsticks closed on nothing. He stood up.

He loomed over me like I'd insulted him by keeping the plate away.

I had not. The food was just an embarrassment.

He picked up the whole plate and scraped every bit of it into his own bowl.

The entire table froze.

Kai elbowed him. "You good, man?"

"I'm great," Sebastian said. "I just like it."

First bite, he choked. His brows knotted into a hard line. He reached for his water, drained the whole glass, and went back in for another bite.

I almost sprayed water across the table.

He emptied three glasses before he was done. And I sat there and watched him put away the entire plate of salt, bite by salty bite.

The Comments groaned.

[is the male lead BROKEN. that's the side character's cooking, not the heroine's. why is he eating it like it's a five-star meal??]

[you think he doesn't know whose it is? he STOOD THERE and watched her make the whole thing.]

[nah he's just being petty because she wouldn't let him have any.]

[petty? the man drank three glasses of water and still cleared the plate. that's not petty. that's love.]

[three glasses of water because the side character cooks like a crime scene. weak character, weak hands, weak everything.]

The Comments were going too far.

I was getting mad.

I wanted to see what other garbage they'd cough up next.

Instead the whole feed broke into a wail.

[is the villain RABID?? he just grabbed the heroine and kissed her out of NOWHERE.]

[of course the villain pulls something like this. lock him up with the side character, those two deserve each other.]

[I am going to combust. somebody tell me she shoved him off.]

[where is the male lead. COME ON. get to the big banyan, save the heroine, break the villain's leg ahead of schedule.]

Chapter 4

Beckett had lost his mind.

If he really wrecked his leg over a girl, he'd go jump in a river. He was my useless childhood best friend, and useless or not, I was not about to let anything happen to him.

So I took off running for the big banyan. If Sebastian was actually swinging at him, at least I could get between them.

By the time I got there, Sienna was already gone. Just Beckett, under the tree, running a thumb over his lip, the corner of his mouth tucked up like he was sitting on a secret.

I told him everything the Comments had been screaming.

"I'm the villainess. You're the villain. Sebastian and Sienna are the leads." I grabbed his sleeve. "So can you please not be into Sienna? Because the way this goes, you end up with your leg in pieces. What happens to racing then?"

"And how does it go for you?" Beckett asked.

"Me?" I let out a breath. "Sebastian stands there and lets me drown. I die. And I have exactly zero interest in dying, so I'm done with him. I keep my distance, I stay breathing."

He was quiet for a second. "I don't believe in fate."

"And I'd rather believe and be wrong than not believe and be dead. Staying alive beats any boy."

He went quiet again.

To keep the Comments from catching every word, we'd dropped almost to a whisper.

"What are you two doing?"

The voice landed like a thunderclap.

Sebastian came storming over, Kai trailing behind.

Kai tugged his sleeve. "Why are you yelling? You're killing the moment."

Then Kai's eyes flicked, far too pointedly, to Beckett's mouth. Sebastian caught the look.

The Comments were in a frenzy.

[so the male lead heard there was kissing under the banyan and came SPRINTING. lucky he missed the villain and the heroine or we'd have a brawl right now.]

[wait. does the male lead think the villain kissed the SIDE CHARACTER? then why does he look even angrier about that??]

[it's just male ego. the side character used to chase him, now she's glued to her childhood guy, and his pride can't take it.]

[a fight's coming. place your bets. who wins?]

[the male lead, obviously. plot armor. why do you think they call the other one the villain?]

[throw hands already. break the villain's leg so he stops causing problems.]

Not one of those Comments was worth a thing.

I forced out a laugh to take the edge off the air and started steering Beckett away.

As I passed Sebastian, his hand closed around my wrist. His voice came out cold enough to lift the hair on my arms.

"Wait."

Kai blinked, then shot Beckett a look. I waved Beckett on ahead. Kai shook his head and followed him out.

I scanned the ground around us. No pond. No pool. Nothing deep enough to drown in. Only then did I make myself look calm.

"What is it?"

"I've decided," Sebastian said.

"Decided what?"

His voice came rough at the edges, uneven, like the words were costing him something.

"What you said before. About sharing a tent."

Me?

I just stood there.

Hold on. I stop chasing him, and now he's the one creeping closer? Was this the front edge of a grovel arc?

I shook my head and shut the thought down. No. Not him. Not the proudest boy I had ever met in my life.

The Comments detonated.

Chapter 5

[male lead. MALE LEAD. do you hear yourself? offering to share a tent with the SIDE CHARACTER? what about my ship??]

[everyone relax. his backyard's on fire and the smoke went to his head.]

[is it possible he doesn't even know what he's saying]

[no, see, the male lead thinks the villain and the side character are a thing. he's using her to gross the villain out. galaxy brain move.]

[...this. I genuinely cannot explain this one.]

I couldn't explain it either, which was exactly why I wasn't saying yes.

I peeled his hand off my wrist. "Ha. There are rules about this kind of thing. We are not sharing a tent."

Something faltered in his face.

"You said it first," he said.

"...I was talking nonsense."

His color drained, slow. And behind his eyes something I didn't have a name for went quiet, then broke.

* * *

I had a solid theory that Sebastian knew Beckett had kissed Sienna. There'd been sparks in the look the two of them traded. The cold kind.

In the off-road race, they were openly at each other's throats.

Two cars, neck and neck, engines growling low enough to pull my stomach tight and then tighter.

Beckett was the better driver by a mile. Sebastian refused to eat his dust anyway, riding his bumper the whole way down.

And then it happened. Both cars went over, off the side of the track.

My heart shot into my throat.

Beckett's crash. The leg. Was this it. Was this the part the Comments had promised.

I got there first. But the first one to drag himself out, slow and hurting, was Sebastian.

He looked like a man who needed a shoulder to lean on.

Our eyes locked. His were dark and fixed on me, and they were asking. Come here. Come to me.

But the Comments had been clear. The male lead has plot armor. He walks away from everything. It's the villain who gets wrecked.

Beckett's leg.

I took two steps past Sebastian, close enough to touch, and ran to Beckett instead.

I got Beckett upright and checked him over. A scrape on his forehead. That was all. Only then did I catch what the Comments were saying.

[did nobody see that? the male lead CRIED. the second the side character turned her back on him. because she only cares about her childhood guy??]

[no way the male lead's crying over the SIDE CHARACTER. he banged up a hand and a foot. those are pain tears. completely normal.]

[it's fine. the heroine will kiss it better.]

Sebastian, crying?

I turned around. And there it was. The red rimming the corners of his eyes.

Except Sienna was already at his side, holding him up.

He was probably thrilled. What was I fussing over.

To be safe, I sent Beckett and Sebastian to the hospital together. I went to handle the bill.

* * *

I came to Beckett's room and pulled the door shut behind me like I was up to something.

"Let me look. You're really okay? The leg. The leg's fine? Move it for me."

Beckett laughed at the state of me.

"I'm really okay."

The Comments' prophecy still had me on edge.

"You remember what I told you about the Comments?" I said. "Better safe than sorry. Be careful."

Beckett wasn't impressed. "So it's only me you worry about. What about him. Not worried about him?"

He knew I liked Sebastian. He meant Sebastian.

The picture came back. Sienna's hands holding Sebastian up. Something in me went sour.

The male lead belonged to the heroine. I was the side character.

I made my voice hard.

"Why would I care about him? Some stranger who's got nothing to do with me. Not like you and me. We grew up together. Skipped class together. Took the blame together"

Chapter 6

A sharp rattle. The curtain ripped back.

Sebastian Cross stood there, eyes cold as a frozen lake, locked on me and not moving.

Terrifying.

The apple I'd been peeling hit the floor.

Beckett's mouth twitched. He climbed down off the bed and picked it up.

"I'll go rinse it."

And he walked off on two perfectly good legs.

Meanwhile Sebastian had bandages wound around one hand and one foot.

Hold on.

Wasn't he the lead? Leads got hurt too?

"Come here," Sebastian said, voice flat.

* * *

I went and stood in front of him. The reek of disinfectant hit the back of my nose.

His voice came out somewhere between a sneer and a sulk.

"Your oh-so-important childhood friend put his car into me. Me. Some guy who's nothing to you." He let that sit. "So. What are you going to do about it?"

"Why are you asking me?" I said. "He hit you. Not me."

I looked at the bandages anyway. One hand. One foot. Beckett's car had done that, and Beckett was mine to answer for, in a way.

I let out a breath. "Fine. I'll look after you until you're back on your feet. It was my friend's car. Least I can do."

He didn't say yes right away. The proud line of his jaw worked like the words tasted wrong. Then, grudging: "...Fine."

His mouth pulled sideways, that sneer again. "For him, you'll do anything."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

I checked the Comments to see what he'd muttered.

[the male lead's lines are rotting my teeth. "for him you'll do anything"?? somebody knocked over a whole vat of vinegar.]

[hang on though, why's the male lead letting the SIDE CHARACTER play nurse? the heroine's the one who brought him in.]

[I thought we were finally getting the canon ship. what is the male lead DOING.]

[this plot is careening somewhere it should not go...]

I had to agree it was careening off course. Because Sebastian Cross wanted me to give him a sponge bath.

* * *

"This is your apartment, fine, but I draw the line at washing you down. There are rules about this. Can't you just call Kai?"

"You didn't say a word about rules when you grabbed me and kissed me," Sebastian said.

My whole face went hot.

He kept going, perfectly reasonable about it. "The dorms are locked for the night. And you agreed to look after me. A sponge bath is too much to ask?"

I hesitated for exactly one second, then caved. It wasn't me getting undressed. It wasn't me getting an eyeful. No skin off my back.

The Comments saw right through me.

[male lead you FOOL, the side character's been thirsting after your body for ages, do not let her win.]

[can this trainwreck of a story go normal for one chapter, I have whiplash.]

[I don't get it. over there the villain's playing golden retriever for the heroine, over here the male lead's running a shower-scene seduction on the side character.]

[I give up. I officially give up.]

Sebastian stripped down to his shorts and sat on the stool in the bathroom.

I worked like a hired hand. He pointed, I scrubbed. He pointed somewhere else, I scrubbed there.

Except a hired hand wouldn't have clocked the way his back moved when he breathed, or the water sliding down the dip of his spine, or the heat coming off him in the small, steamed-up room.

Credit where it's due. All that lean muscle was the real thing, solid and warm under my palm, and every time the cloth dragged across his shoulders he went very still.

Proof my taste hadn't been so bad after all.

Chapter 7

"Lower. A little lower. A little"

I stopped. My hand had made it down to his navel, and one inch past that was a foul. I shot him a look and tossed the washcloth at his chest.

"Your left hand works fine. Do it yourself."

And I walked out of that bathroom with my face on fire.

* * *

I sat on the couch and stewed for a while.

Then his royal highness summoned me again, and I hauled him to the bedroom. His whole weight came down on my skinny shoulder. I was basically tucked under his arm like a crutch.

I finally got him into bed, fixed the blankets, and turned to leave.

"You're not sleeping with me?"

"Am I supposed to sleep with you?"

"Why not? I can barely use a hand or a foot. What happens when I want water in the night? When I need the bathroom?"

"...I'll take the couch. Just shout if you need something."

"And if you sleep like the dead and don't hear me?"

"I won't."

"You can't promise that. And if you don't wake up and I wet the bed, well. That would get around."

Was this the same Sebastian Cross? The untouchable one? Since when did the most unreachable boy on campus argue like a toddler who'd been told no?

"Fine," I said. "You take the bed. I'll make one on the floor."

"I'm not having my blanket on the floor."

"What do you actually want?"

"To share."

He let it hang there.

I looked at him, all out of patience.

"Sebastian. Back when I was chasing you, you acted like you were God's gift. So what is this?"

"I regret it. If you were still chasing me, I'd say yes."

"I'm not chasing anymore."

I was tired of it. A whole year. The big confession at the campus showcase, the little essays I posted to the anonymous board, a year of inventing things to say just to keep him talking to me.

The day he didn't give me the vote, something in me sat down and quit. He'd promised. And when it counted, the tiebreaker still went to Sienna. In front of everyone. Like a public notice telling me to stop dreaming, telling me he would never once stand on my side.

If some part of me had still been holding out, finding out I was only ever the side character put it to rest for good.

I pulled the blanket back and lay down, deflated, my back to him. Let him think whatever he wanted. I just wanted him healed and done circling Beckett.

I lay there with my eyes shut and sleep wouldn't come.

The bed wasn't big. His warmth carried across the gap at my back, a hand's width, no more, and holding still took everything I had.

There were eyes on my back, steady through the dark.

A long time passed. Then, behind me, a breath let out slow.

"Is this about the vote?"

"I didn't forget I promised it to you." Low, in the dark. "I saw Sienna's project. Hers was better. So I voted fair." A pause. "That's what I told myself it was."

"The prize was two tickets. My family backs half the venues in this city. One call and you'd have had floor seats. So I decided it cost you nothing."

Quiet. Then it came rougher, like it was being dragged out of him.

"That part's a lie. The truth is my whole life people have wanted the name. The money. The doors I open. So I keep a ledger on everyone. Everyone." A breath. "You included. A whole year of you, and I filed it under the same line. One more person spending me."

"Then you stopped. People performing for something don't quit the second it stops paying out. You did." Softer. "And I worked it out about a year too late. You were the one account I never looked at twice. The only real thing in the whole book."

I lay there and took all of it in. Every word of it.

"That's what you decided," I said. "The contest was a department thing. Not even official. Win, lose, none of it mattered." I kept my back to him. "But you still didn't pick me."

A silence. Then, low: "...I understand. No next time. Okay?"

Was I imagining it, or did the proudest boy on campus just try to coax me.

I said it anyway.

"No. And there isn't going to be a next time."

Chapter 8

[has the male lead been BODY-SNATCHED?? begging the side character for love now??]

[hear me out. he got used to being adored. she held him on a pillow for a year. she goes cold and now he's lost without it.]

[habit is a scary thing. praying the male lead snaps out of the side-character fog and gets back on the main plot.]

So that was it. That explained the midnight meltdown.

And I hoped he'd land on the same thing I had. The chasing was over. Past tense.

* * *

I woke up in Sebastian's arms, a too-handsome face filling my whole view, my heart slamming.

The exact scene I used to daydream about, served up fresh and real.

Too bad it landed now, when I'd gone cold on all of it and didn't want it anymore.

I helped him to the bathroom to clean up, then made him breakfast. I can't cook either, so it was a fried egg and a limp sausage and we called it close enough.

Sebastian limped to the table on his crutch and settled in. The eyes that used to run cold had gone soft.

"Margot. Thank you." A beat. "When I'm better, I'll make you breakfast. Every morning."

Every morning? For me?

Hoping for something, the way I used to.

The Comments shipping the canon couple completely lost it.

[the male lead said he'll make the side character breakfast EVERY morning?? is that a we-live-together-now thing??]

[everyone stay calm. maybe he just hasn't realized yet how much the heroine means to him.]

[so we sit back and wait for the big scene. the heroine and the side character go in the water at the same time, life or death, and the male lead's gut makes the call. he finally knows the heroine's his true love.]

Both of us in the water at the same time?

They wanted me dead.

I'd show the Comments, in real time, exactly how hard I was to kill.

From here on out I was staying the hell away from anything I could drown in.

* * *

To win me over, Sebastian offered to teach me to swim.

The old me would've run two laps around the track and screamed at the sky just to burn off the excitement.

This me turned him down flat.

"I don't do water. Water and I have beef."

The light in his eyes went out, slow.

Like it was sinking in that I really had stopped. That I wasn't just saying it.

Because back in the day, I'd asked him to teach me to swim more times than I could count. The plan was simple. Use the water as an excuse to get close. Some accidental contact. And, you know. Cop a feel while I was at it.

He always knew exactly what I was doing. Every single time I floated the idea, he shut it down cold.

"No time."

Clean. Done.

This time I handed it back to him. "No time. I have to take Beckett his medicine. He's sick."

Beckett toughed out every illness on his own. If I knew about it, I got medicine to him fast. If I didn't, he'd let a fever climb to a hundred and four before he lifted a finger.

Sebastian's mouth pressed into a thin line.

"You changed the second Beckett came back."

"He and I grew up together." His parents died when he was small. My grandmother raised him like her own.

"Right," Sebastian said. "Childhood sweethearts. And I'm just some stranger who's got nothing to do with you."

His voice caught on the last word, thick.

Turns out a man's tears are a woman's sugar rush.

Looking at him sitting there, wounded and small, I almost fell for it again. Almost.

No.

He's the lead. I'm the side character. There's no version of this that works.

I took the medicine and went to find Beckett.

His place was in the complex over by the big bridge.

Chapter 9

I'd just stepped onto the bridge. There was a girl by the railing.

Something about her made me look twice.

As I passed, I caught her eyes. Empty. Somewhere far away. A bad feeling settled low in my chest.

I made it ten meters past her before my feet stopped on their own. I turned around.

She was up on the railing now. About to go over.

I didn't think. I lunged and caught her.

But she'd already dropped, and half of me went with her, my hand locked around her wrist.

This was bad. I was scared out of my mind, and the Comments' line kept flashing through me. The side character drowns.

Was this how it ended for me.

No. I wasn't done living.

Then someone caught my ankles.

"Margot. Hold on."

Sienna's voice.

It startled me. She had both my legs wrapped up, but we were still tipping, slow, toward the edge.

I had no idea if the girl could swim. I knew for a fact I couldn't.

"Ah"

I went over.

Sienna came down after me.

I hit the water hard and clawed back up to thrash at the surface.

Then two more splashes, one after the other.

Through the blur I caught a shape. Sebastian.

Both of us were in the water now, Sienna and me. So this was the part where Sebastian really did choose her.

And I drowned.

No.

In the haze, the whole of my life flickered past.

There was a slice of durian mille-crpe in my fridge I still hadn't eaten. A Brazilian-steakhouse Groupon I'd never gotten to use. The campus strays, still waiting for me to come feed them.

Sebastian's shape went dimmer, and dimmer.

Save me. The words jammed in my throat.

I woke up in a hospital bed