I Earn Six Figures But Can't Afford a $2 Snack

Grocery shopping with my girlfriend.

I wanted to buy a bottle of water, and she said I was being wasteful.

Then she turned around and filled a whole cart with pricey fruit and imported snacks for her foster brother.

At checkout I grabbed a two-dollar bag of beef jerky.

Sebastian doesn't like that.

Naomi Swanson didn't even look up. She lifted the jerky right back out.

I put it back in the cart.

"It's for me."

"Still no. Sebastian doesn't like the smell of it. Last time you ate that stuff it bothered him for days. Besides, it'll just give you breakouts."

And with that, firm about it, Naomi tossed the jerky out of the cart again.

I looked down at the cart the imported fruit, the mangoes, the beef jerky for him.

Then I looked at Naomi, head bent over her shopping list, checking everything off so carefully.

And just like that, I wasn't hungry anymore.

I didn't whine or play pitiful the way I usually did, didn't beg her to buy it for me.

The whole drive back, I didn't say a word.

Naomi just figured I was sulking.

Then she took a call, hit the brakes out of nowhere, and pulled over to the curb.

"Sebastian's not feeling well. I'm going to go check on him."

"You know how it is, his health has always been bad, we have to look after him a little more. Grab an Uber home, I'll just take one look and come right back."

And with that, Naomi left me standing in the rain and drove off without a second's hesitation, in the opposite direction from home.

In that one moment, something in it all just went flat for me.

This marriage maybe it wasn't worth going through with after all.

The sky had gone dark, and the rain came down harder and harder.

I waved like crazy in the downpour before I finally managed to flag down a passing cab.

I was about to open the door and get in.

Then I remembered the spare change on my phone account. Sixty-nine cents.

My hand froze on the door handle.

When we decided to be together, I handed my paycheck account over to Naomi to manage.

But after I gave her that card, spending money only got harder.

I make thirty-five thousand a month.

Naomi gave me ten dollars a day to live on.

After what I spent on food, what was left wasn't even enough for a bottle of water.

And anything ordinary, the normal back-and-forth between people, I had to ask her for over and over before she'd agree.

"Are you getting in or not?"

The driver bellowed at me, out of patience.

"Sir, I don't have enough on me, could I maybe"

I wanted to ask if he'd take my watch as collateral.

But before I could get the rest out, the driver slammed the door, cursing.

"Get lost! Where'd this broke loser come from, no money and still trying to take a cab?!"

The car shot past me.

The wheels tore through a puddle at the curb and sprayed mud all over me.

My foot slid out from under me and I went down hard.

The pain in my knee was blinding, and blood mixed with muddy water ran down my shin.

I bit down on my whitening lip and finally dialed the number I knew by heart.

But all that came back through the phone was the busy tone. Beep. Beep.

Heh.

A bitter laugh slipped out of me.

How could I have forgotten?

All because Naomi's foster brother, Sebastian Delgado, had a bad case of neurasthenia and needed quiet.

So Naomi set her phone to do not disturb for everyone.

Except Sebastian, of course.

Every time something urgent came up, I could never reach her right away.

Including the time my mother was in a car accident.

I'd been away on a business trip.

When the hospital called me, I was frantic.

I called Naomi dozens of times, and no one ever picked up.

In the end I floored it the whole way from the next city, three hundred kilometers out, just to make it to the hospital.

By then my mother's surgery was already over.

Thank God she was all right.

It was only later that I found out Naomi had spent that whole time at the movies with Sebastian.

That was the first time I ever lost my temper with her.

She cried and swore up and down that nothing like that would ever happen again.

But later I learned the truth.

Her promises were only true for the single second they left her mouth.

In practice, nothing changed at all.

I gritted my teeth and dragged myself up off the ground.

Every step sent a stabbing pain through my knee.

I don't even know how I made it back.

By the time I finally limped home through the pouring rain, three hours had passed.

The living room was lit up bright.

Naomi was already back.

She was sitting on the couch in fresh, clean pajamas, smiling radiantly into her phone's camera.

It gets cold at night, so remember to keep yourself covered when you sleep. You catch a chill so easily.

Her voice was soft and coaxing as she repeated the reminder, fussing over him.

I didn't have to guess who was on the other end. It was her foster brother, Sebastian.

Only after she hung up did she turn around.

Her gaze traveled down from my still-dripping hair and stopped on my knee, which was still oozing blood.

Naomi frowned.

Didn't I tell you to take an Uber home?

How did you get yourself into this state?

Why are you just standing there? Hurry up and go clean yourself off.

You've tracked dirt all over the rug by the door. That's Sebastian's favorite handmade wool rug.

Her frown deepened, her eyes full of dismay and irritation.

In that moment, no rain outside could ever be as cold as my heart.

My girlfriend looked at the wound on my knee and felt nothing.

But over one rug I'd dirtied, she acted as if the sky were falling.

It wasn't until I'd taken a hot shower that the stiffness in my limbs began to ease.

Naomi was waiting outside the door with the first-aid kit.

Seeing my blank expression, she sighed, pulled me over, and sat me down on the couch.

Raymond, aren't you being childish?

Getting jealous over a kid, and now you're pulling stunts to make yourself look pitiful?

Her tone was scolding, half-fond.

I couldn't really blame her for thinking that way.

I used to believe Naomi treated Sebastian, a foster brother with no blood ties to her, better than she treated me, her actual boyfriend.

And it was true I'd been jealous of Sebastian more than once.

I'd done plenty of childish things, trying to get Naomi's attention.

But this time, it really wasn't that.

And the "kid" she kept talking about was twenty-four this year, a college graduate.

Still, I didn't say a word.

There was no point.

When someone cares about you, even a slight frown puts them on edge.

When someone doesn't, you could hang yourself and she'd just think you were on a swing.

All right, I know today upset you. Don't be in a mood.

Here. A present for you.

Naomi handed me a square velvet gift box, trying to win me over.

There was a small, smug curve to her lips, as if she was certain I'd love it.

I recognized the logo on it at a glance. It was from my favorite car brand.

My numb heart still gave an involuntary little jump.

Not long ago, I'd suggested we replace my car.

The one I drove was almost ten years old now, with a lot of worn-out parts.

At the time, Naomi had turned me down without a second thought.

Why replace it? The car still runs, doesn't it?

I was disappointed, but I never brought it up again.

I held my breath and lifted the lid.

But there were no car keys inside, the way I'd pictured.

Just a small acrylic keychain stamped with the same brand logo, lying there quietly.

"You said before you liked this brand. No car, sure, but a keychain's nice too. You can carry it around every day."

Naomi reached out, meaning to hold me the way she always did.

It had always gone like this.

One small gesture from Naomi and I'd soften, let it all go.

But this time, suddenly, I didn't want to.

I was tired. I didn't want to keep talking myself down off the ledge.

I stared at that tiny keychain and, out of nowhere, I laughed.

"Funny. I didn't even know this brand sold keychains separately."

Naomi's face went cold.

"I know today upset you. But do you really have to be this petty?"

"I've told you so many times. I've always thought of Sebastian as my own little brother. He's not well. It's only right that we give a little more to him. Can't you be more mature about this?"

"What did I even say? I just asked a question. Is that not allowed?"

I looked at her, steady, not blinking.

She stalled, started to say something.

Then her phone rang.

It was Sebastian.

"Why aren't you asleep yet?"

"Can't sleep? Put on some soft music, it helps. It's okay, I'll stay on with you the whole time"

Naomi lowered her voice on purpose and turned, walking out to the balcony.

I went back to the bedroom and called the bank's customer line, and reported my paycheck card lost on an emergency hold.

When Naomi came back, she found me lying with my back to her.

She lifted the corner of the blanket and slid in beside me.

She inched closer, slowly, reaching to wrap an arm around me from behind.

Without a word, I shifted toward the edge of the bed.

She stared at my back for a long while, then gave a soft sigh and rolled over the other way.

I didn't sleep all night.

When I woke the next morning, Naomi was already out of the room.

Two takeout boxes sat on the table.

One seafood wonton soup, one bowl of plain rice porridge.

Not thinking much of it, I picked up a spoon and reached for the seafood wonton soup, the one closest to me.

The spoon was almost in the bowl when a hand slapped it away, hard.

"That one's yours."

Naomi pointed at the rice porridge off to the side.

"I got it specially for you. Even had them add extra scallions."

She pulled the other box out of my reach, capped it carefully, and tucked it into an insulated bag.

Only then did it sink in. The seafood wonton soup was for Sebastian.

"I don't eat the porridge."

Naomi frowned, openly annoyed.

"Sebastian's sick. You're going to fight him over a single breakfast?"

"Raymond, why are you so greedy? Did you never see food in a past life?"

I said nothing more.

I set the spoon down and turned back to the bedroom to change.

Maybe because she could see I was low, Naomi actually offered, for once, to drive me to work.

I'd asked her for rides before too.

Every time, Naomi had turned me down, said it was a hassle since she had to ferry Sebastian around.

I opened the passenger door, and froze halfway into the seat.

Throw pillow, thin blanket, sunglasses, water bottle, snacks

The little passenger seat was buried under things that belonged to Sebastian.

I shut the door.

"Never mind. It's too cramped. I'll just grab an Uber."

My car had only gone in for servicing the day before.

Naomi blinked, caught off guard.

"What's gotten into you? Aren't you usually begging me shamelessly for a ride?"

Her eyes landed on the things piled in the passenger seat, and Naomi's face changed slightly.

"Don't read too much into it. Sebastian isn't well, so naturally I packed a few extra things, just in case."

I nodded. "Sure. I'm not reading into it."

Naomi opened her mouth, like she wanted to explain something more.

Then she saw the calm, unbothered look in my eyes, and her face went cold.

"Get in or don't. Your choice."

With that, the car shot off.

That night, I spiked a fever.

It was probably from the rain earlier.

The truth was, I was just like Sebastian. The moment I caught a chill, I'd come down with a fever.

Naomi had just forgotten that.

Or maybe she remembered and simply didn't care.

Naomi pressed her palm to my forehead.

"You're burning up. There's no fever medicine left in the house. Hang on, I'll run down to the pharmacy and get you something."

By then my head was already going hazy.

I gave a vague nod.

The door banged shut, and I sank into a heavy sleep.

By the time the sky brightened, the fever had eased a little.

My head slowly cleared.

I was dying of thirst.

I called out for a long time. No one answered.

That was when I realized the person who'd gone out to buy my medicine had been gone two full hours and still hadn't come back.

I dragged myself up and went to the kitchen for water.

There was a sound at the door. Naomi came in empty-handed.

"You're awake? Feeling any better?"

She reached out to touch my forehead. I dodged it.

Naomi froze, her brows drawing together.

I didn't answer her question. I just held out my hand to her.

"Where's my medicine?"

Her expression stalled, her eyes darting twice before she spoke.

"That, um. Just as I got to the pharmacy door, Sebastian called, and he"

"He said he was craving the gourmet takeout from that fancy bistro, so you drove halfway across the city to get him his late-night snack, and my medicine was long out of your mind."

I finished the sentence she'd left hanging, my face blank.

Naomi's head snapped up, her eyes going wide.

"How did you know?"

The words were barely out before she noticed the phone still glowing in my hand.

The screen was open to a post Sebastian had put up a few minutes earlier.

Thank you to my angel sis for the feeding!

Want it, get it!

So happy!

The photo was a steaming order of those soup dumplings.

Knowing she was in the wrong, Naomi walked over.

"You know Sebastian's stomach is bad. He can't go hungry."

"If he gets too hungry, he ends up in the hospital."

I asked her, "And me?"

Naomi frowned.

"You're different. You're strong. Whether the fever runs a little longer or a little shorter, it doesn't really matter. Worst case, you sleep it off."

"Come on, be the bigger person. Don't hold things against a sick man."

Gripping the cup, I suddenly wanted to laugh at the bitterness of it.

I'd burned up until I couldn't think straight, and to Naomi that was nothing.

But Sebastian just got a little hungry, and it was treated like a full-blown crisis.

The double standard was really something.

Naomi wrapped herself coaxingly around my arm.

"See, I wasn't wrong, was I? You're fine, aren't you? I told you you were strong."

"Tell me what you want to eat. I'll make it for you."

I shook my head. "No need. I've got no appetite."

Naomi watched me without blinking for a long moment, as if checking whether I was still angry.

Seeing my face stay calm, she let out a breath.

"All right then. Get some good rest. Tell me when you feel like eating."

I nodded and went back to the room.

In the afternoon, I took the day off work and took an Uber to the bank.

Pulled a number, filled out the forms, reported the card lost, closed the account, applied for a new one.

The whole process took barely half an hour.

I tucked the freshly issued paycheck card carefully into my pocket.

In that moment, even my steps felt lighter.

Out the front doors of the bank, I looked up and immediately saw Naomi and Sebastian walking out arm in arm from the mall across the street.

Naomi had shopping bags hanging from both hands.

The logos on them were all luxury labels I never dared so much as glance at.

Sebastian was dressed head to toe in designer clothing, even his hair styled to perfection.

He looked every bit the rich young heir.

And the keys he was toying with in his hand caught a cold metallic glint in the sunlight.

Sebastian's fingers pressed a button, and a white BMW parked at the curb gave two short chirps.

It was the exact model I'd picked out before, the one Naomi had refused to let me buy.

"Raymond? What are you doing here?"

The instant she spotted me, Naomi's hand froze on the car door, panic flashing across her face.

I didn't answer. I just looked the brand-new car over casually.

"Nice car."

Naomi's face shifted.

"Let me explain."

I shook my head, like it didn't matter.

"No need to explain. Let's break up."

Just then, there came a chime.

Naomi had received a text from the bank confirming the paycheck card had been canceled.