Loving the Boy My Family Raised

1: 1

After the SATs, the whole class decided to spend the day at the paintball arena.

Teams were one guy, one girl, and the winning pair took home a matching couples' bracelet.

I turned toward my boyfriend, Burton Henson, without even thinking about it. But he'd already gone to stand beside Jenna Porter, the class beauty.

Jenna had her arm looped through his, grinning wide.

"Sorry, May Coleman. Burton and I are just used to gaming together."

"Besides, a butterfingers princess like you would only drag him down."

Thirty-five kids in the class, and in the end I was the only one left without a partner.

But I still managed to hide my way into the final round.

When only three of us were left, Burton suddenly messaged that his stomach hurt.

I rushed out to find him and caught a faceful of green paint instead.

Jenna leaped out, howling with laughter.

"May, you're out! Wow, you look just like a green-faced old witch now."

"Told you you were dumb. Burton faked being sick a little and you actually believed him."

Seeing me frozen in place, Burton frowned.

"That bracelet is the style Jenna likes. I promised I'd help her win it."

"You win enough on tests already. It's just a game. Don't be a sore loser."

I watched Jenna, egged on by the crowd, slide the men's bracelet onto his wrist.

And Burton, a smile tugging at his mouth, didn't stop her.

Turns out I'd lost more than just a game.

The green paint smeared across my face, some of it getting into my eyes, stinging until the tears came on their own.

My deskmate startled, then hurried over.

"May, are you okay?"

She called out loudly, asking if anyone still had tissues so she could help wipe me off.

The class monitor shook his head.

"It's hot out, everyone's been sweating buckets. The tissues are all gone."

"Henson the genius always carries a handkerchief on him, though. But he's a germ freak, hates anyone touching his stuff. He probably won't"

He didn't finish. He shut his mouth abruptly, his expression turning awkward.

I followed his gaze and turned around.

Burton was using his handkerchief to wipe the sweat off Jenna's face, frowning as he did it.

"You played so wild your makeup's a mess."

Jenna giggled. "Well, I wanted to give you the bracelet as a graduation gift, didn't I? I'm not rich like May. I can't afford diamonds."

The handkerchief picked up some of her foundation, but Burton didn't seem to mind. He folded it neatly again and tucked it back into his shirt pocket.

"Better something you earned with your own effort than some people who live off their family like a freeloader."

I stood there mortified, pinching the hem of my shirt.

My deskmate wiped at my face with her sleeve, muttering under her breath.

"God, what's Burton's problem? What did anyone's money ever do to him? Your grades aren't any worse than his."

"His germ thing has exceptions now? Is he really even your boyfriend?"

I tugged the corner of my mouth. "Maybe."

But my eyes kept drifting to the bracelets on both their wrists, glinting harshly in the sunlight.

Burton had told me before that he didn't like childish things like this.

Last White Day, I'd made a special order at the counter for matching diamond pendants, meaning to give him one as a gift.

Burton had glanced at the brand and laughed, mocking.

"May, are you afraid people won't know it? Not only was my grandfather your family's driver, now even I'm a dog you'll leash with your fancy little collar?"

"I'm not your servant. I don't need your handouts. If you pull another childish stunt like this, I'll move out immediately."

Burton lost his parents young, and his grandfather worked as our family's driver for over a decade.

Later the old man fell ill and passed away, so my family took Burton in and raised him.

I'd thought he was just sensitive, and I apologized for a long time, telling him I hadn't meant it that way. He wouldn't even look at me.

Now, though, he didn't find it childish anymore.

Burton came over and looked my face over.

"I already asked. The water's shut off here today. Just bear with it and wash up when you get home."

Not a single word about having a handkerchief.

I looked at him. "You're wearing a matching bracelet with her. So what does that make me?"

Burton knit his brows, impatient.

"They're just two bracelets in roughly the same style. Can you stop acting like those people who obsess over relationships, slapping some pointless meaning onto every little thing?"

"Besides, it's not like you're short on jewelry. Everything you own is more expensive than this. There's no need to fight her over it."

My nails dug into my palm. I worked up the courage and asked him the same thing my deskmate had.

"Burton, am I really your girlfriend?"

The classmates around us held their breath, watching.

Burton's expression stalled for a beat. His tone went flat.

"May, only people with a shaky sense of self need to feel secure by making it known to the whole town."

"You really should learn from Jenna. She never acts like this."

Bitterness rose up my throat.

Here it was again.

He'd never once acknowledge our relationship in front of others, as if it were something shameful.

Because Jenna was clamoring to game with him, she smoothly took my seat again.

I sat in the back of the car, listening to Jenna go off on her teammates over the mic.

"So what if you've got a boyfriend cussing people out for you? Like nobody else has a boyfriend to back them up!"

She nudged Burton and pleaded softly.

"Come on, come on, Henson the heartthrob, it's the principle of the thing. Bail me out here."

Burton shot me a glance, as if hesitating.

But in the end he still opened his mic and said, mildly, "You're trash, go practice more. Don't like it, solo me."

I suddenly started to laugh.

Right. Jenna didn't need to beg for security the way I did, because someone would always offer it to her first.

Turns out it wasn't just the germ thing that had exceptions. Status did too.

2: 2

I didn't have the appetite for dinner when I got home, so I went straight to my room.

I'd just finished showering when someone knocked. It was Burton.

He set the juice and dinner on the desk and sighed.

"I didn't turn Jenna down back there because she's got a lot of pride. We're classmates. It would've embarrassed her in front of everyone. That's all it was."

I said nothing. He looked a little helpless.

"Still not letting it go? Then I guess I'll have to use this."

He took out a wish card.

"You said as long as I held on to it, I could ask you for one wish. Right?"

I'd given it to him for his birthday this year.

I'd been afraid of picking the wrong gift and upsetting him again, so I wrote that out and gave it to him instead.

Something in me softened. Was Burton going to spend the wish just to get me to stop being angry?

Was he actually going to be the one to give in for once? Because before, I was always the one who apologized first.

The next second, I heard him say, "I want you to take Jenna abroad to study with us."

"Don't worry about the English exam. She just barely passed."

I froze, sure I'd misheard.

"Didn't she already send in her applications?"

Burton pressed his lips together. "I know. But Jenna's scores only get her into a community college here."

"Her mom raised her alone. It wasn't easy. Once Jenna comes back with a degree from overseas, she'll have real prospects, and things will get better for the two of them."

"It's fine if the school she applies to is a little ordinary. That kind of money is nothing to you. What's wrong with helping someone out?"

My eyes went wide in disbelief.

Back when it was about the pendant, Burton had decided I was using money to humiliate him, and he wouldn't speak to me no matter what I did.

Later I happened to see his diary and learned his dream was to study in England.

So I quietly applied to schools for both of us, and because I was afraid of bruising that sensitive pride of his,

I lied and said I was the one who wanted to go, that I didn't want to be alone and wanted him to come with me.

Back then Burton hadn't looked the least bit happy. He'd even made it sound like a favor.

"For the sake of your family taking care of me all these years, I'll go with you."

"But I'll still sit the SATs and put in my college applications, so no one thinks I'm some parasite who couldn't manage on his own and had to lean on you."

And now look what he was doing.

Buying a pendant was mooching off my family and pointless, but blowing my family's money to send Jenna abroad for free had a point?

I let out a bitter laugh.

"That kind of money? Even the most ordinary school runs at least a few hundred thousand a year. If you know how hard things are for her mother, then she should have studied and worked hard all along, instead of playing games every day."

"She did badly because she earned it. Why should I be the one to cover for her?"

Burton's face went cold in an instant, and he sneered.

"So you wrote this thing just to prove to me you're a liar?"

"May, you're a businessman's daughter. The least you could have is basic integrity. Don't throw away the reputation your parents spent years building."

"A family like yours loves doing charity to save face, doesn't it? I'm giving you the chance to do it."

That was Burton for you. He could always find some high-minded reason.

Some way to show that he was the one in the right, and I was always the one in the wrong.

There was no point arguing anymore.

I drew a deep breath and took the wish card. "Fine. I'll help submit her application materials."

Only then did Burton give one of his rare smiles. "You're finally being sensible. I'll send you her information."

His phone rang. He answered it and started toward the door, his voice going gentle.

"Mm, I'm heading out now. I know. The vanilla latte from the corner on South Street, light ice, a third of the sweetness, extra vanilla, and one order of strawberry popping candy on the side. Right?"

"Good, I've got it. Wait for me at the theater, I'll go buy it."

Before he left, his eyes swept over the tray on the desk. "Remember to eat. It's not good to waste food."

The door shut. I picked up the glass of fresh juice, thick with the smell of mango, and couldn't help a bitter smile.

So he'd already forgotten I was allergic to mangoes.

When we were young, Burton had been so gentle and careful with me.

Once I ended up in the hospital from an allergic reaction, and it scared him so badly that the next day he printed out a list of everything I was allergic to and taped it to the fridge.

He told the housekeeper never to use any of it, and whenever we ate out, he'd check everything over and over.

Back then he could have recited my allergies backward in his sleep.

When had it started, his smiles for me growing fewer and fewer, his caring about my life less and less?

I told myself people change as they grow up, that he was buried in schoolwork, that forgetting was normal.

It turned out he'd simply found someone more worth caring about.

When my best friend heard about all this, she was so furious she cursed him out over the phone.

"May, have you lost your mind? There's a limit to being this lovesick!"

I tore the wish card to pieces, flushed it down the toilet along with the mango juice, and smiled.

"I haven't lost my mind."

"After all, what I agreed to was only to help submit her application."

Burton was right.

You shouldn't attach some pointless meaning to a thing.

Especially when the person no longer deserves it.

3: 3

With Jenna's grades and ability, she could only apply to the low-bar schools that would take almost anyone.

Seven days later, one of them accepted her application.

Burton had spent every recent day out with Jenna, barely showing his face anywhere.

I sent him the school's information, and he replied:

*Good enough, I guess. Jenna says she's not picky.*

*Don't forget she starts in mid-September too. The tuition has to be transferred in the next few days, so we can all leave together.*

As if letting me pay the bill were him doing me a favor.

I sent back three words: "Got it."

A few days later, Burton called out of nowhere.

"Jenna's inviting everyone to her mom's little diner for dinner, and she wants to thank you in person."

"Remember to print out the acceptance letter and bring it. She'll need it for the visa and entry paperwork."

I was curled up in bed, riding out cramps, and I turned him down. "Another day, okay? My period came, my stomach hurts a little"

His tone dropped a few degrees at once.

"May, don't lie. I remember it's not due until next week."

"But it came early"

He cut me off before I could finish, cold. "Jenna's been looking forward to seeing that acceptance letter ever since her application went through."

"Some of the classmates who are free are coming too. Don't kill the mood at a time like this and leave her let down."

That last half sentence was the part he'd really meant to say.

I was quiet for a moment. "Understood."

At the long table in the little diner, the other classmates looked at her with open envy.

"Wow, Jenna, I had no idea you were this amazing. I hear the English proficiency exam is really hard."

Jenna, pressed close against Burton, laughed. "Oh, it's nothing, it's all thanks to how well Burton the heartthrob taught me. He stayed up a whole month, tutoring me over video."

"If I'd transferred into our class two years earlier, I might've gotten into a top school right here at home."

At that, my fingers tightened around my chopsticks without my meaning to.

It was only when I submitted Jenna's paperwork that I learned she'd sat the English proficiency exam in the same round as us.

Back then, there'd been one article I couldn't quite make sense of, and I'd wanted Burton to walk me through it.

He'd turned his phone face-down without a flicker, his expression cool. "May, if you don't have the ability, then don't go abroad."

"You're the Coleman family's little princess, sure, but no one owes it to you to be the knight who rescues you. You can't keep expecting to lean on other people."

So he'd been quietly preparing for Jenna that early.

And still he'd faked her sitting the SATs, faked her filling out college applications, just to keep me from seeing it. That wish card was the opening he'd picked.

Burton glanced at me, uncomfortable, and prompted her, "Jenna, May put in a lot of effort for you too. Thank her."

Jenna's expression shifted, then she smiled again. "You're right. May, thank you for being so generous and kind."

"All right, everyone, drink the chicken soup while it's hot. May, to thank you, I had my mom save the plumpest chicken just for you. It's very nourishing."

The others picked up their chopsticks, praising nonstop how wonderfully fresh the soup was.

My stomach was cold and aching.

Without thinking twice, I lifted my bowl and took a sip.

All I tasted was a mouthful of sickening greasy film, laced with the taste of dish soap.

I spat it right back out.

"May, what's wrong?" the deskmate asked, concerned.

I frowned and answered honestly, "There's dish soap in the soup. It tastes like leftover rinse water"

The others exchanged glances. "Huh? That can't be. How come none of us tasted it?"

The deskmate went to check, but Jenna snatched the bowl away and smashed it on the floor.

Her eyes rimmed red, brimming with hurt, she said, "May, I know your fine-lady stomach is precious and you look down on a little diner like ours."

"But my mom poured her heart into that soup, simmered it all afternoon. You don't have to like it, but do you really have to smear it? We still have to run this business"

I tried to explain. "I didn't"

"Enough!"

Burton looked at me, disappointed. "It's my fault. I should've seen this coming the moment you faked a stomachache to get out of coming."

"If you want a fancy meal, then go crawl off to some five-star hotel. Don't come here putting on airs and trampling on other people's good intentions."

Except for the deskmate, everyone was watching me with complicated looks.

Their faces said it all: so awful, how could she be like this, why doesn't she just scram already.

My cheeks burned, and with nowhere to put myself, I turned and ran out.

I ran a long way before the tears I'd held back so long finally spilled over in fat drops.

Calvin the butler called.

"Miss, are we transferring your tuition and Burton's tomorrow?"

Before I could answer, Jenna posted an update.

"Hehe, who knew our heartthrob wasn't just smart, he's this caring too."

In the photo, her index finger had a little cut from a broken shard.

Burton had his head bent, carefully putting a bandage on it for her.

His comment underneath read: *That's because you're too clumsy.*

Jenna: *Yes yes yes, so from now on I'll have to trouble our heartthrob to keep taking care of me up close~*

Burton replied with an okay hand sign.

It felt like a drill was grinding into the flesh low in my belly, the pain bending me double.

I wiped my eyes and answered Calvin.

"Go ahead and transfer it, but only mine."

Since Burton was so eager to take care of Jenna up close, and had no use for what I was worth.

I'd go abroad on my own.

4: 4

My birthday party was only a few days away, but Mom and Dad were still in England hammering out a deal and might not make it back in time.

So they'd booked me a five-star hotel in advance and told me to invite my friends and classmates to celebrate.

When they heard I planned to fly over after my birthday to settle in early, Mom was thrilled and said this way she could throw me a proper party later to make up for it.

I said nothing about the mess with Burton. I didn't want them worrying, or dropping their work over it.

But on the day itself, the moment I reached the banquet hall on the second floor,

I saw my own welcome poster had been swapped out for a glamour shot of Jenna.

Across the top, in bold, curling script: Jenna's College Send-Off.

The hall was packed with her relatives and the little clique of girls she ran with at school.

My friends, the classmates I was actually close to, were all crowded at the door, lost, with nowhere to even sit.

I found the manager I knew and asked, "Who gave you permission to change the theme?"

He blinked at me, wide-eyed. "You didn't know?"

"Young Master Henson from your household called last night and said you'd agreed. I figured, the two of you being so close, I shouldn't disturb your rest"

Because I was held in such regard, they gave Burton the same standing.

I frowned. "Clear the room, now. Put the original theme back."

"Wait!"

Burton appeared with Jenna in tow and pulled me off to the side.

"May, don't make a scene. I'll explain everything later. Jenna saved you a seat, go sit down."

Hilarious. They'd hijacked my venue and my banquet, and I was the one being told not to make a scene?

"Burton, my family paid for this. What gives you the right to turn my birthday party into her send-off?"

Jenna caught my hand, all fake regret.

"May, don't be angry with him. My relatives heard I'm going abroad to study and they all wanted to come celebrate, but the diner had a slow month, and my mom couldn't afford to host this many people"

"If we did it somewhere shabby, people would laugh at us. That's the only reason Burton stepped in to help. We're classmates, after all, and you have so much money. You wouldn't nickel-and-dime over this, right?"

She'd dropped the campus-heartthrob talk and moved on to calling him by name like they were close.

I gave a cold laugh and pulled my hand free.

"Having money means I deserve to be the sucker? If you can't afford it, don't throw it. Guilt-tripping someone into paying, what is that? Are you a beggar?"

Jenna's face went white in an instant, her eyes brimming.

Seeing it, Burton shoved me hard.

"May, you've gone too far!"

The push sent me stumbling backward, and right behind me was the steep staircase.

If my deskmate hadn't been worried enough to follow me and grab me in time, I'd have gone tumbling down and split my head open.

Burton startled too, a flicker of panic in his eyes.

It hardened back into cold indifference just as fast.

"Your whole life, how many parties have your parents thrown you? You really can't spare this one?"

"That day you smeared her family's food and made her cry, you already owed her an apology. Consider this making up for it."

"The guests are already seated. Changing the theme now won't do anything. So either stay and eat, or leave, but don't cause trouble on someone's big day!"

I looked at his face, familiar and a stranger at once.

Like I was meeting him for the first time.

"Burton, you're really set on this?"

He pressed his lips together and coaxed, "May, I'm begging you this once. Just give her this party, and I'll wear the couple's necklace with you and make us official."

Ha. Even now he thought he could reel me in with that.

But I didn't care anymore.

I nodded. "Fine. Everyone, enjoy the meal. We'll be going now."

I'd booked another hotel and treated everyone to dinner there.

My deskmate cursed, unwilling to let it go.

"The nerve of them. Those decorations, the cake, the champagne, all those dishes, you could tell they were expensive. That had to cost a fortune."

"May, are you really just letting them off that cheap?"

I laughed and popped a piece of steak into her mouth.

"Yeah. It cost a lot. But they didn't necessarily come out ahead."

In the days after, Burton took Jenna traveling through the nearby cities, calling it one last splurge before going abroad.

I boarded my flight overseas alone.

A week later, on their way back, Burton finally seemed to remember me and sent a message:

*I got you a birthday present. I've been thinking, why don't we leave two weeks early. Jenna needs time to adjust to life abroad.*

*She's worried she won't get along with a roommate. I remember you have an apartment over there. Let's just stay there, it's close to campus too.*

He waited a long while and got no reply.

Burton got a little angry.

*Still sulking after all these days?*

*May, if you're going to keep throwing these spoiled little tantrums, I'll have to rethink whether I'm studying abroad with you at all.*

Three seconds later, his phone and Jenna's went off at the same time.

Burton felt a quiet flush of triumph.

Just as he'd expected, I was still the same May who caved first when he got angry, who apologized on her own, terrified he'd ignore her.

But when he opened his phone, he froze.

Because it wasn't a reply from me. It was an email, in English.

From the university he'd been about to attend:

*As you did not complete tuition payment within the required period, your admission has been revoked. Please be advised.*