The Greedy Relatives Wanted My Cars for a Dollar

1: 1

At the end of the year, my cousin called me.

Clementine Henson, business at your dealership must be pretty bad with all the electric cars eating up the market, right?

It's the end of the year, and everybody's looking to buy. Might as well keep the money in the family, so we all agreed we'd help you out. Just sell them to us at a thousand a car.

Sure, gas cars had taken a beating from the electric ones, and business wasn't what it used to be. Prices had been cut again and again.

But even the cheapest car in my showroom, after every discount, still ran sixty or seventy grand.

The pricey ones went into the hundreds of thousands. How did she have the nerve to say a thousand?

I was about to shut her down when she cheerfully added:

"I've got at least a hundred people ready to buy in a group this time. You'll be counting cash till your hands cramp. Just sit back and enjoy it."

I was half out of my mind with anger. I turned her down flat. "Thanks, but no. I can't sell at that price."

What I didn't expect was for her to turn right around and tell the whole family group chat:

"Everyone, all you aunts and uncles, I've already worked it out with Clementine. Her dealership can't move its cars, so she's giving all of you a friends-and-family price of a thousand a car. Get your money ready and come pick whatever you want."

The chat exploded. Everyone praised Tracey Henson like she was a saint.

She took all the glory. The bankruptcy would be mine.

A thousand a car got passed from mouth to mouth, until it added up to more than four hundred orders.

No matter how I explained it, they acted like they were possessed, insisting they'd show up at the dealership right on time to collect their cars at a thousand each.

By the end of it, I couldn't help but laugh.

They all wanted to bankrupt me.

But the way I saw it, weren't they all just lambs waiting to be slaughtered?

I'd just finished telling my cousin Tracey that this price was absolutely out of the question.

But Tracey did whatever she pleased. She turned right around and announced it to the group chat.

In under a day, she'd racked up more than three hundred orders.

She called me, gloating.

"Clementine, you see how excited everyone is now?"

"I brought you more than three hundred orders this time. Not even your top salesperson could pull that off, could they?"

"Remember to order in plenty of good cars from the factory so everyone has a decent selection."

"We'll pay in full at a thousand a car, every cent, no delays. You just wait, you'll be counting cash till your hands cramp, hiding under the covers laughing to yourself."

A thousand a car.

And they got to pick whatever they wanted.

And I'd be losing money? And laughing to myself?

That would bankrupt me on the spot.

Afraid this would spiral out of control, I choked down the urge to lose it and rushed to explain in the group chat:

"Everyone, thank you all for the thought, but I really don't have any cars at a thousand each in my showroom."

Uncle Marvin wrote:

"Clemmie, honey, a thousand a car isn't bad. Just make a little less this once, and help an old man's dream of owning a car come true."

I quickly explained:

"Uncle Marvin, it's not about making more or less. Even a used car doesn't go for that price."

Uncle Marvin was displeased.

"See how stingy you're being?"

"Tracey already told us your markup on cars is unbelievable. Otherwise how would you be this rich, living in a mansion in the city and driving a luxury car?"

My aunt piled on too:

"That's right, Clemmie. We're all family. Just make a little less and let your poor relatives get a bit of a break, would that kill you?"

Down below, Tracey added:

"Clementine, did you get rich and forget where you came from? Do you look down on your poor relatives now, and that's why you won't sell to everyone?"

She said it to stir the pot on purpose, and just like that a whole crowd turned on me.

"Clementine, this is out of line, don't you think?"

"We treated you just fine when you were little. Now you've made it and you can't be bothered with your own family?"

"Back when your father broke his leg, he borrowed fifty bucks off us to get to the hospital. Without that kindness, your father would be a cripple right now!"

"No kidding. A few years back I only borrowed eighty grand off her, and after just three years she's on my case about paying it back. It's not like I wasn't going to. We're family, is it really necessary?"

"Same with the hundred grand she lent me five years ago. Every year she drops these little hints, reminding me to pay it back. I've had it. We're family, is it really necessary? Out of spite, I'm just not paying her back. Hmph! Like she can do anything about it!"

"Exactly. Her cars are sitting there collecting dust. She'd rather let them rot than sell to us."

"We're your own family and friends. You can't be this cold, showing no feeling at all."

One after another they worked themselves up, righteous and loud.

Bringing up the fifty bucks they'd once lent my family, or the two sacks of rice.

It was another way of holding me hostage.

As if not caving to them would make me the criminal.

But there really was no car that cheap.

And I really couldn't say yes.

More than three hundred cars, at a thousand each. If I agreed, I'd go bankrupt right where I stood, and then go jump off a building.

I was shaking with anger, but I forced myself to keep explaining:

"Everyone, let me say it one more time. It's not that I don't care about family. There just isn't any car at that price."

"The cars in my showroom are placed there by the manufacturer for me to sell. They all have an official sticker price. You can go look it up yourselves."

"And running a dealership costs money. This year I didn't just fail to turn a profit, I lost hundreds of thousands."

Tracey was the first to leap out and start shouting:

"Clementine, who do you think you're fooling?"

"You're losing money but you can open new stores?"

"You're on your fifth one now, aren't you?"

"Losing money, and you keep doing this?"

"Do you take us for fools, or do you think we're complete idiots?"

2: 2

I was livid.

But facing that mob in the group chat, all I could do was swallow the anger and explain, one more time:

"I opened those showrooms to help the manufacturer expand its market. That was written into the contract the moment I got the dealership rights. Otherwise, why would they even let me be their dealer?"

"That's how the market works. It's not that I'm eating losses just to keep the stores running."

"Still spouting nonsense?" my cousin trilled sweetly.

"Do you really take us for fools? Or are you saying every uncle in this group chat is blind too?"

"I've seen those stores of yours. High-rises, every one of them, all that floor space. Any single one would be more than we could earn in ten lifetimes."

"You just don't want to sell to us. You can't stand to see us do well. You look down on your poor relatives!"

She'd worked me up so much I actually laughed.

My male cousin piled on underneath:

"Tracey's right. You struck it rich and now you can't stand to see the rest of us get ahead."

I answered:

"That's not it."

He shot back:

"Still making excuses?"

"I happen to know electric cars are the thing now. They've already grabbed more than half the market. Those gas cars sitting in your showroom won't sell at all."

"You'd rather let them collect dust than sell them to us. That's you not being able to stand to see us do well! Are you going to keep denying it?"

Tracey chimed in right after:

"Exactly. Our cousin's a college man, an educated person, he knows so much more than the rest of us. Everyone see that? If you won't believe me, at least believe the only college graduate this family's got."

The group chat flared up in outrage again:

"Clementine, this is really beyond the pale."

"Ungrateful little brat. How did we never see what a white-eyed wolf you'd turn out to be?"

"When she was little I even fed her wild boar. Never thought she'd be this ungrateful."

"I sent watermelons over to her family in the summer. Might as well have thrown them to the dogs."

I finally hit my limit and blew up:

"Have you people lost your minds, or has something possessed you?"

"A thousand dollars a car, you tell me where to buy them. Bring me ten thousand of them and I'll wire the money this second!"

"You can't even get a used car at that price!"

Tracey jumped in at once:

"Clementine, that's way out of line. We saw your business was struggling and we wanted to throw you some support, spend our own money to help you out."

"Not only are you not grateful, you say things like this in the group chat. Do you have a shred of conscience left?"

She wanted to drive me into bankruptcy, and she wanted me grateful for it too?

I was so furious I nearly ascended to heaven on the spot.

My hands shaking, I typed back:

"I don't need your support. Go buy from someone else."

I thought for a moment, then said it in the group chat one more time:

"Everyone, family and friends, I'll say it again, one more time. There is no such thing as a thousand-dollar car. This is all a rumor Tracey made up. I am not accepting these orders."

The chat exploded all over again.

But before long Tracey's husband, Jesse Gilbert, sent a message:

"Everyone quiet down for a second. I'm sure Clementine's just feeling emotional. Let me talk to him."

He called me privately soon after:

"Clementine, what is wrong with you?"

"That group chat is full of your relatives and elders. How can you talk like that?"

"Don't you even know the basics of respecting your elders?"

"And your cousin Tracey, she knew business has been slow for you lately, that's the only reason she's been running around trying to drum up sales for you."

"She just placed over three hundred orders for you all at once. That's more than three hundred thousand dollars in one go. Instead of thanking her, you turn around and viciously attack her. Is that something a decent person does?"

"Get in that group chat right now and tell everyone you were wrong, that you're willing to sell the cars at a thousand each."

"And apologize to your cousin on top of that. You'll give her a car for free as amends. Then I'll grudgingly forgive your overreaction and we'll call it even. Don't let it happen again!"

For a second I almost thought I was still dreaming.

Was three hundred thousand supposed to be a lot?

A single car in my showroom might run more than three hundred thousand on its own.

And he was actually claiming this was for my own good?

I was the one who had to apologize?

Was he insane, or was I?

I gave myself a hard pinch.

Confirmed this wasn't a nightmare, then said coldly to Jesse:

"You're a joke. I am not apologizing, and I don't need your forgiveness."

3: 3

"Clementine Henson!"

My refusal had lit a fuse in Jesse. His voice came shouting down the line:

"Don't act like I don't know why you're going after Tracey. It's because I chose her instead of you, isn't it?"

"You've had a thing for me all along, and you can't stand that she got to be my wife, so now you're deliberately making her life hard!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I asked,

"Jesse, don't you think a little too highly of yourself?"

"Am I wrong?" Jesse said. "You won't admit it unless I put the proof right in front of you?"

I asked,

"Then go ahead, show everyone your proof!"

Jesse said, unhappy,

"Every time you look at me, there's longing in your eyes. If that's not proof, what is?"

I was stunned.

When had I ever looked at him with longing?

Was there something wrong with him?

Jesse's voice came again:

"You're too shy to say it out loud, but I see all of it. I just don't call you out on it."

I shook my head.

"You're imagining things. There's nothing to it."

Jesse gave a little laugh.

"Be good, stop making a scene. Worst case, once this is over I'll agree to have dinner with you."

"And if that's not enough, I can even stay the night at your place."

"So it's settled."

That was the end of my patience.

"Jesse, you narcissistic freak. Who do you think you are!"

With that, I hung up on him.

I figured that after a mouthful like that, even Jesse would be too embarrassed to say another word.

But not a minute later, he posted in the group chat:

"All you aunts and uncles, family and friends, I've worked it out with Clementine Henson. End of the month, bring your money and we'll all go pick up the cars together."

The group broke into cheers at once:

"That's our Jesse. One move and it's handled."

"Jesse and Tracey, you two are the good ones. Come to my place for the holidays and you'll sit at the head of the table. When Clementine shows up, she can sit at the kids' table."

"That's exactly how it should be. A few years in the city, a couple of stores, and she thinks she's something. One word from Jesse and she's selling to us like a good girl after all."

"Hmph, if she'd just agreed this easily to begin with, she wouldn't have had to drag it out and be such a pain."

"If you ask me, she's got a little money now and looks down on us. Has to put on airs, like we're the ones begging her."

"Jesse and Tracey are still the best."

"It just hit me, we need money at the end of the year to replace the fridge. That thousand for the car, let me owe it for now and I'll pay it back in a while."

"Same here, my family's short on cash too. I'll bring an IOU then."

Reading their shameless little messages, I finally snapped and typed back:

"I'll say this one last time. There is no thousand-dollar car, and I never agreed to any of this with anyone."

"Whoever said yes, go buy your cars from them!"

The second I sent it, I left the 'One Big Happy Family' group.

But less than half an hour later, Grandpa Henson called, cursing the moment I picked up:

"Clementine Henson, what is wrong with you, girl? They tell me they want to come to your store and give you their business, and you're not even willing?"

"You get a little money and suddenly your uncles aren't good enough for you?"

"You've disappointed me. How did our Henson family end up with an ungrateful little snake like you?"

"You go apologize to them right now, this instant, or don't blame me when I strike you from the family records!"

He tore into me the moment he opened his mouth, never gave me a chance to explain, and the line was already dead.

I held down the rage in my chest.

Family?

Family records?

What a joke.

Since you're all so set on driving me into bankruptcy.

Then let's find out who the lamb led to slaughter really is!

4: 4

I put down my phone, got in the car, and drove to the dealership.

The manager came into my office.

"Ms. Henson, sales have been a little slow lately. But don't worry, I've already been working on some ideas."

I looked at him calmly.

"Technology keeps advancing. Electric cars have taken half the market, and gas car sales are sliding across the board. What ideas could you possibly have?"

The manager lowered his head.

I shook my head.

"Right now, I need you to do four things."

"Which four?" he asked.

I said,

"First, at the end of the month, close our other locations for a day. Every salesperson and staff member reports to this store."

"Second, call in the loan officers from the major national banks."

"Third, by the end of the month, have no fewer than ten security guards on hand. No, at least a hundred."

"Fourth, call the manufacturer and have some cars sent over to this store. Five hundred of them, and every one a model over two hundred thousand dollars."

The manager stared at me.

"Huh?"

"Huh, what?" I said, displeased. "Why aren't you on it already?"

He looked at me, stunned.

"You really want that many cars? Right now everyone's scrambling just to unload inventory, and you want to bring in that many at once, all high-end models? We'll never sell them!"

I didn't feel like explaining. "Don't ask. Just go do it."

Seeing I wasn't joking, the manager had no choice but to agree and go make the arrangements.

The last day of the month.

Sure enough, Tracey and Jesse showed up leading a whole crowd of relatives, along with relatives of relatives, and relatives of relatives of relatives.

Hundreds of them, pouring in like a tide.

The sight was so overwhelming it left every salesperson in the store wide-eyed.

"Excuse me, are you all here to buy cars?"

Tracey pushed to the front.

"Obviously. What, you think we came to gawk at you, you little tramp?"

Jesse chimed in.

"See all these people behind me?"

"One car each, and they'd better be good ones. Don't try to fob us off with your cheap models!"

When the store manager saw all this, he seemed to understand something.

He set the sales staff to attending them and came up to my office.

I was sitting in the upstairs office, watching the security feed.

The manager came in and said,

"Ms. Henson, there are a few hundred people out there. They say each of them wants to buy a car."

I smiled calmly.

"If they want to buy cars, of course we'll sell to them."

"But no discounts. Everyone goes through the normal process."

The manager seemed to get it.

"Now I understand those four things you had me set up. I'll go take care of it right away!"

Downstairs was in an uproar.

Hundreds of people, like a crowd at a county fair.

"This one's not bad."

"Yeah, I'll take this one."

"I want an SUV."

"I want something bigger, good for hauling."

"I need two cars, one for me and one for my wife."

"Don't be stingy. I'll just take five. My parents, my son, everyone in the family gets one."

They picked out cars, all smiles.

The salespeople kept busy handling them.

It went on until evening, and when everyone had finished the paperwork and reached the last step of paying,

every door of the dealership suddenly closed, and over a hundred security guards appeared on all sides.

The manager stepped forward, raised a megaphone, and called out,

"Thank you all for your business. Together you've bought four hundred and five cars, for a total of one hundred twenty-eight million, two hundred sixty-three thousand dollars."

"Please line up and come pay by card right here."

"If you didn't bring enough, step over to the counter beside me and set up an installment plan."

"The bank loan officers are standing by for you as well."