Goodbye to the Man Who Never Cared

1: 1

My mother's surgery had failed. She had maybe three months left.

The grief sat in my chest with no one to give it to, so I turned to my boyfriend, Ned Henson.

Are you busy?

No reply.

Half an hour later, I tried again.

Do you have time to talk? It's about my mom.

Another half hour passed, and Ned answered with a single "1."

I stared at that "1" for a long time. It was always like this.

When I'd run a fever of a hundred and three and begged him to take me to the hospital, all I got back was a "1."

When my mother was first hospitalized and I asked if he could help me get a better specialist's appointment, half a day later a "1" showed up.

Even last month, when we fought and I asked whether he still cared about me at all, he waited a whole night and sent back a "1."

Now my mother was dying, and I truly had no one to tell.

A new post from his junior secretary popped up in my feed.

It's all my fault, I completely botched the client proposalso grateful Mr. Henson stayed with me revising it till dawn, I'm so touched I could just marry him~

How absurd. How laughable.

Ned was always busy. Call his phone and his assistant picked up first.

Even a date with him had to be booked three days in advance.

Yet he was willing to sacrifice his precious time to personally sit and fix a proposal with a junior secretary.

I tipped my head back to keep the tears from falling, and for the life of me I couldn't figure it out.

Why had I gotten together with Ned Henson in the first place.

A boyfriend like thisno loss letting him go.

I stared at the junior secretary's post for a long while.

There was a photo attached, too. A photo of Ned.

Black suit, eyes locked on his laptop, coffee set beside him.

Latte art swirled on top, and even the cup was pink.

Like something a girl had picked out herself.

I thought of how every year, for his birthday, I picked out a cup for Ned.

And every time he got one, he'd toss it into the cabinet, where it gathered dust, never used.

Once, eyes stinging, I asked him, "Do you not like them?"

Ned paused, then ruffled my hair.

"The ones you give me are too precious. I want to keep them."

"When I'm fifty, I'll take them all out and count them one by one."

"Don't overthink it. I just don't care much about this stuff. I've got things to do."

But that pink coffee cupI'd seen it before, in the junior secretary Deidre Simmons's feed.

It was a freebie that came with a coffee she'd bought.

And Ned had taken it.

I scrolled up. He'd liked her post before that one too.

Of her last seven posts, he'd liked six.

But thinking back on my own feed, for nearly two whole years he hadn't liked a single thing.

Forget likesI doubt he'd even glanced at more than a few.

I reached back and tapped like too.

Then I read the room, closed the chat window, and stopped typing.

The screen went dark.

Let it stay dark.

No matter how many messages I sent, all the chat window would ever gain was one more "1."

There was no point to any of it.

I put my phone away and got up to see to my mother's arrangements.

When it was all done, I dragged my exhausted body home.

I opened the door to the living room lights on.

I thought Ned was backbut instead I found the junior secretary, Deidre Simmons, wrapped in a towel, just stepping out of the bathroom.

"Oh! Sorry, Debbie Delgado, I thought you weren't coming home tonight."

"Mr. Henson sent me to pick up some documents, and I got all sweaty, so I figured I'd borrow your shower..."

"We leave first thing tomorrow morning on a business trip, gone a whole week."

Deidre shot me a smug look, then walked straight into the bedroom to grab a change of clothes for Ned.

I said nothing. I just stared at the spare key in her hand.

"How did you get that?"

Deidre glanced back and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, this?"

"Mr. Henson gave it to me, of course."

Hanging from the spare key was a little rabbit officer charm.

It stabbed straight into my eyes.

If I remembered right, Ned's own keyring had a matching fox charm on it.

When had that shown up? Three months ago, six months ago? I couldn't recall.

"These are all Mr. Henson's, right? They look like his style."

Deidre had already opened the closet.

She went through Ned's clothes as if they were her own.

"I remember this shirtwe just picked it up shopping around when I went on that business trip with him."

"And this jacket, the coffee stain on it is from when I slipped and spilled on it, ha, still hasn't washed out?"

I stood in the doorway like a stranger passing through,

watching Deidre gather up Ned's most personal clothes one by one, the bitterness twisting hard inside me.

Sensing something, maybe, Deidre turned to look at me.

"Debbie, don't get the wrong idea. I'm just Mr. Henson's secretary. Everything between us is completely aboveboard. There's nothing going on at all."

I tugged the corner of my mouth. "I'm not getting any ideas. Take your time."

With that, I turned and went back into the study.

The moment the door shut, my body slid heavily to the floor, and the tears came pouring out.

Shaking, I pulled out my phone and sent Ned one message.

"Ned Henson, let's break up."

Sure enough, five minutes later, my phone buzzed.

2: 2

Some part of me still held out hope, thinking he might say something to make me stay.

But the second I opened the chat, the disappointment hit.

It was exactly the same as always.

"1."

I suddenly remembered a time when I'd finally lost my patience and asked Ned about it.

Why did he only ever reply with a single number.

He'd said, "Because it's fast. You know how busy I am. Extra words waste time."

"A '1' means I've read it. Got it."

He really was busy.

Busy acquiring companies, busy landing multimillion-dollar deals.

Every minute could mean hundreds of thousands flowing in.

Back then it seemed reasonable, and I did my best to be good and understanding, never bothering him.

But only now do I understand.

He was just saving that time to spend it on someone else.

But I didn't have time to dwell on any of it now.

My mother was still lying in the hospital morgue, waiting for me to see her off one last time.

That night I slept only two hours, and before dawn I was up again, rushing to finish the funeral arrangements.

Standing there in the morgue.

Looking at my mother's face, quiet as if she were only asleep, I finally broke down sobbing.

"Mom, I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I wasn't good enough to save you"

That had been the last chance at treatment.

Before she was wheeled into the operating room, my mother had already slipped into a coma.

The doctor said that if the surgery succeeded, she might gain another three months.

If it failed, we should prepare for the end sooner.

Before that, I had begged Ned with everything I had.

"Please, could you recommend my mom to that specialist you know?"

"The doctor said if a top surgeon in the country operates, the success rate could be over sixty percent."

Ned was hunched over his computer, working, and didn't even lift his head.

Only when I pushed harder did he frown.

"Debbie, it's not that I won't help you. Dr. Kim has always had his principles. He only sees patients by appointment."

"Then is there still time for me to book one now?"

Ned glanced at me.

"His schedule's already booked into next month. If you're willing to wait, I can get you an appointment."

But my mother's illness couldn't wait.

All I could do was settle for less and choose another doctor.

But the very next day, Deidre posted that update on her social media.

"I hereby declare that Mr. Henson is the best boss in the world! Not only does he pay me, he even found a specialist for my mom!"

"Everyone else waits two months for a slot, and one word from him got me bumped to the front. Mr. Henson, you're the man!"

In that moment, my heart went completely cold.

Eyes red, I ran to the base of Ned's office tower to confront him.

But the security guard stopped me at the door.

"Miss, you can't go in without an appointment."

I called Ned over and over, but it was his assistant who picked up.

"Miss Delgado, Mr. Henson says that if you want to see him, you'll need to book an appointment three days in advance."

Three days in advance. How ridiculous.

A girlfriend wanting to see her boyfriend, and she had to make an appointment first.

Now, watching my mother wheeled into the crematorium furnace,

and come back out as nothing but a handful of ash.

I had cried until there were no tears left.

Numb, I just held the urn and walked the road home.

There was a cart at the roadside selling roasted candied chestnuts.

A young girl called out to me, a little shy. "Buy some, miss? Fresh out of the pan."

I remembered my mother when she was so sick, holding my hand and smiling.

"Debbie, my Debbie always loved roasted candied chestnuts."

"Once Mom's better, I'll go shopping with you and buy you some, hot out of the pan"

But later, right before the operating table, she seemed to sense that something was wrong.

She pressed the pocket money she'd saved over half a lifetime into my hand.

"Mom won't be able to stay with you anymore. If you pass candied chestnuts on the street, buy yourself a bag."

"Think of it as a gift from Mom."

"That Ned, he's always so busy with work, never has time for you. Mom doesn't want to see you suffer"

At that point my mother started wiping away tears.

"Mom's the useless one, not able to stay with you."

"But if only Ned weren't so busy. That would be nice."

Mom, Ned isn't that busy. He just didn't want to make time for me.

He never once bought me the candied chestnuts we passed on the street.

So I'll buy them myself.

I bought a small bag and cupped it in my hands, the shells so hot my fingertips turned red.

I peeled one and put it in my mouth, and the tears came with it.

"Mom, the candied chestnuts you bought me, I'm tasting them."

Just then, Deidre's social media popped up again.

A photo of her and Ned, both grinning, flashing peace signs at the camera.

The caption read:

A whole week traveling with me for work. Thank you for all your hard work, Mr. Henson! We finally landed the big deal we'd been chasing for half a month. The boss is treating me to a fancy dinner, and I get to pick the restaurant I love. How is this not two people running toward each other?

3: 3

Someone had commented under the post.

"Doesn't your Mr. Henson have a girlfriend?"

"You're just a secretary. Aren't you afraid the boss's wife will see a post like this and get the wrong idea?"

Deidre replied with a hand-over-mouth giggle emoji. "We're work partners, silly~ Don't say things like that."

"Besides, Mr. Henson isn't married yet, so legally he's single. Who ends up as the boss's wife is anybody's guess."

I put my phone away. The whole thing struck me as absurd.

It didn't matter. We were already over, and my mother's affairs were finished.

It was time to leave.

That night, I was working out which things to pack and take, which to store away or throw out.

The door swung open.

Ned was back. Looking worn out, he wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"Debbie."

"It's been almost two weeks. Why haven't you messaged me lately?"

"I've been swamped."

"Not getting your messages every day, honestly, I couldn't quite get used to it."

But did you really need me there?

Could even a reply of nothing at all become a habit?

I didn't answer. I slipped out of his hold, so slightly he almost couldn't tell.

"I'm too tired. I don't feel like talking."

"You just got back from your trip. Get some rest."

Holding my pillow, I turned toward the guest room, the same as every other night.

But Ned frowned and caught my wrist.

"Don't go to the guest room tonight. Sleep with me, okay?"

I turned, puzzled, and looked into his eyes.

Back when we'd first moved in together, I was the clingy one. I'd said everything I could think of, wanting Ned to sleep beside me.

I said I was scared of thunder.

He handed me a pair of earplugs. "Block your ears and you won't hear it."

I said I was scared of the dark.

He handed me a sleep mask.

"You'll get used to it."

I racked my brain for other excuses, and he just frowned at me.

"Debbie, I'm really busy. I don't have time for these childish games."

"Before you met me, didn't you sleep alone?"

I had no comeback for that.

He said he needed to focus on work, that he was afraid I'd disturb him, afraid he'd wake me getting up in the middle of the night to revise a proposal.

So he'd insisted on separate rooms.

And after that, the guest room became mine.

But now, out of nowhere, he was the one asking me to sleep beside him.

"No."

I gently pulled my hand free. "I'm used to sleeping alone."

Ned's hand stayed there in the air, as if he hadn't expected me to refuse.

He looked at me, and past the tiredness in his brow was a flicker of confusion.

It cleared quickly, though. He must have decided I was just sulking.

"Fine."

He drew his hand back and loosened his tie. "Then get some sleep too."

I nodded and turned to push open the guest room door.

"Oh, right."

His voice came from behind me again.

"If I remember correctly, your mom's surgery is the day after tomorrow, isn't it?"

My hand went still.

There was a trace of a smile in his voice.

"I took the whole day off the day after tomorrow. I'll go to the hospital with you to see her."

"Something this big, a surgery, your mom would be scared on her own. It'll be a lot easier with us there."

An endless ache rose behind my eyes. I clenched my fists and bit down on my lip.

"Thank you, but there's no need."

My mother was already gone.

And that surgery, the one her life had depended on, wasn't the day after tomorrow. It was a week ago.

He couldn't even keep a thing like that straight.

"Debbie, don't be so formal with me."

Ned looked at me with something almost like tenderness.

"I admit I've been too busy these past weeks and neglected you. When I take that day off, let it make up for it."

Then he pulled a red velvet gift box from his pocket and held it out.

"Saw it on the way back from my trip. Thought it was nice, so I bought it for you."

I turned around.

As if waiting to catch the surprise on my face, Ned opened the box himself.

One look, and my heart sank to the bottom of a lake.

The bracelet inside, I had already seen it, on Deidre's feed.

"Thank you, Mr. Henson, for the Sea of Stars necklace!"

"It's just that this free bracelet that came with it is so ugly, I don't want it. No idea which poor sucker it'll end up going to."

I pulled the corner of my mouth into something like a smile. "Well, thank you, really."

Ned didn't catch the wrongness in my tone. He turned and went to take a shower.

And this poor sucker didn't spare it a second glance. I dropped it straight into the trash.

4: 4

Early the next morning, I got up and started packing.

Three years of living here, and the place was crammed full.

The little ornaments on the shelves, the clothes in the wardrobe, the small saucepan I'd used for two years in the kitchen, my mother's photo on the nightstand

Now I was taking it all away.

Only then did I realize how little of it was actually mine.

I pulled the clothes out of the wardrobe, folded them, and packed them into two 28-inch suitcases.

From the ornaments on the shelves, I picked a few that meant something and tucked them into my backpack.

The rest I planned to throw out.

In a drawer I found a few old notebooks, the diaries I'd kept when I first came to Harbor City.

They were full of a naive girl's bright dreams about love.

"Being brave for love, just once. I've finally made it to Ned's city! We can finally live together, no more long distance."

"Ned really is amazing. So many girls chasing after him. But I have to hold my own too, I can't be a burden to him."

"Ned's working late again today. Too busy to spend time with me."

"Teddy, oh Teddy, I've been in Harbor City half a year now. When do you think Ned will ever have a free moment to take me to see the ocean?"

I laughed at myself and dropped the diary into the trash.

I was still packing when footsteps came from behind me.

I turned around. Ned was leaning against the doorframe, his hair still wet, clearly just out of the shower.

He glanced at the mess in the room and asked me, dazed.

"What are you doing?"

He came over and looked at the suitcase spread open on the floor. "A business trip?"

I couldn't be bothered to explain much, so I just gave a soft hum.

And Ned actually thought I was going on a business trip.

"All right. I haven't checked in on you these past two weeks. I heard you got promoted last month?"

"You really should work hard. While you're young, don't slack off on the work you're supposed to do."

"When do you leave? Should I drive you to the airport?"

I didn't even lift my head. I just answered flatly.

"No need."

A decent boyfriend

would not fail to know that his girlfriend had already quit her job a week ago.

"The company's sending a car for me. Don't worry about it."

"Okay."

Ned let out a breath, then frowned again.

"But your mom's surgery is the day after tomorrow. You're not going to be there with her?"

I clenched my fists and still said nothing.

Right there in front of him sat my mother's urn.

Ned had been back all this time and hadn't even glanced at it.

Seeing me silent, Ned probably thought I was upset, and he patted my shoulder as if to comfort me.

"Never mind, go take care of your work. I'll look after your mom for you."

"You've got me. What else is a boyfriend for."

I didn't say anything. Once the packing was done, I buried myself in the study and said I still had work to do.

The truth was I was hiding from Ned, because I didn't want to see him anymore.

For the first time, Ned noticed I wasn't as clingy as before, and he frowned, puzzled.

"Ning, what's wrong with you"

Before he could finish, his phone rang. He picked up, and it was that junior secretary Deidre Simmons again.

"Mr. Henson, I need saving here!"

"I messed up again. I just accidentally sent the internal pricing sheet to a client as the quote. Come save me, quick."

Ned's expression shifted, but he still scolded her with that indulgent softness.

"You little idiot."

"Don't touch anything. Wait for me at the office."

And so, just like it had happened countless times before, Ned grabbed his coat, told me something urgent had come up at the company, and hurried out.

I watched the car pull away outside the window and let out a small, relieved smile.

"Ned, this time, I'm the one who doesn't want you."

The day I left happened to be the very day Ned had taken time off, saying he'd come with me to the hospital to see my mother.

Ned drove me to the airport first thing in the morning.

"Ning, when you're back from your trip, I'll take you out for a proper meal."

He bent down to kiss my forehead, but I turned away.

Ned's face changed slightly, but he still ruffled my hair. "Take care on the way."

I looked up and, for the last time, really looked at Ned.

"Don't forget. You said you'd go to the hospital and be with my mom."

"Don't worry. I won't forget."

But I waited the whole day, and the questions from Ned never came.

He never discovered that my mother wasn't at the hospital.

Instead, from Deidre's social media posts, I saw that Ned had spent the whole day out shopping with her.

It wasn't until six in the evening that Ned finally sent me a message.

"I'm sorry, Ning."

"Something else came up at the company out of nowhere, and I only just finished. I'm on my way to the hospital now."

I didn't reply. I turned off my phone.

Whether you started from Deidre's apartment or from Ned's office building,

reaching that hospital took only fifteen minutes.

In fifteen minutes.

Ned, you'll never be able to find me again.

Sure enough, before long, my phone started buzzing like mad.