My Commander Husband Regretted It After I Chose Science

My husband, Nolan James, had been transferred to the Capital for a promotion, and his unit allowed him to list two family members on the military relocation roster. Everyone was congratulating me, but I knew the names he'd written down were his sister-in-law's and his nephew's.

Only because, in my last life, I made a scene about it all the way up to his unit. Every last person said he was an ingrate, and in the end, buckling under the pressure, he changed the names back.

But once Nolan was settled, he went back for Maggie Matthews, only to be told she'd been hounded into throwing herself into the river by the village bully. He brought his skin-and-bones nephew back to the Capital, and then he divorced me.

He sent Edward James abroad, but the plane went down, and there were no survivors. He wasn't even grieved. He went so far as to announce to everyone that Curt James was his real son.

"Eddie was your own flesh and blood. How could you be so heartless?"

The slap cracked across my face, thick with hatred.

"If it weren't for the two of you, Maggie wouldn't have died. You killed her. You owe her a debt to repay."

In that moment the hatred swallowed me whole. Why should I be the one to pay for her death? I grabbed Nolan and drove us both, car and all, straight over the cliff.

When I opened my eyes again, Nolan and I had both returned to the very day he filled out the military relocation roster.

"Nolan, whatever's going on between you two, is there nothing you can settle behind closed doors? Do you have to bring it into the compound? Keep this up and I'll have you confined to quarters."

The officer's words jolted us both. I stared at the familiar wooden desk, the enamel mug, and that dated old landline sitting on top of it.

We looked at each other, and one look was all it took to confirm it. Nolan and I had both been reborn, reborn to the very day he filled out the military relocation roster.

I was still clutching that roster, my fingertips gone pale from gripping it so hard, my eyes locked on the two names written there: Maggie Matthews and Curt James.

"Sir, I'm sorry. Leave the relocation arrangements as they are. No changes needed."

"But"

I cut him off.

"I'm sorry, sir. It was my mistake. Do it Nolan's way. No changes."

I slapped that sheet of paper down on the desk and walked out without looking back.

"Gwendolen Henson, this life, I'm going to look after them, that mother and her boy. So no matter what you do, this outcome won't change. Otherwise I'll file for divorce up the chain."

My heart lurched. It took me a long moment to steady myself, and in the end all I had was two cold words.

"Suit yourself!"

I didn't go back to the compound. I turned and went to the officer's office to borrow the phone.

"Academician Matthews, I agree to join the research team. We depart in six days. I have one condition, regarding Nolan's duty assignment."

The officer glanced at me and let out a sigh.

"That Nolan doesn't know a good thing when he sees it."

I only smiled, thanked him, and headed back to the compound. Same familiar duty officer, and that wave of dated, bygone atmosphere hit me the moment I stepped into the place.

I hadn't expected Nolan to be so impatient he couldn't even wait the last six days.

"Gwen, Nolan says he doesn't feel right about us staying somewhere outside. I'll be putting you out these next few days."

"This is the military compound I applied for. You don't need to report to her. Settle in and don't worry."

I clenched my fists. His concern for Maggie had long since gone past anything between a brother- and sister-in-law. In my last life, to avenge her, he hadn't hesitated to throw me back to the village.

At the thought, my chest went hot. I knew it was the hatred left over from that other life.

"This is my room!"

"Aaah, Uncle said this is my room!"

The second I rushed in, I saw Curt, that big fat kid, swinging at Edward. I strode forward and shoved him off. Too heavy to keep his footing, he toppled straight backward, his back slamming down and blooming into a wide red welt.

"Gwendolen, I know you're angry, but you shouldn't take it out on a child like that. If we're not welcome here, then we'll just leave."

Nolan stopped them.

"I never realized you could be so vicious. Apologize to Maggie and her son. And yougo sleep in the living room. For the next few days this is Curt's room."

His eyes were hard, his voice cold. Edward shrank against me, frightened.

"He's your son. Why should he have to give it up?"

I didn't back down. We'd both died once already. He wanted to look after his sister-in-law and nephew; well, I meant to protect my son.

"Because this is my compound. Without me, you wouldn't be living here at all."

"Nolan, I want a divorce."

Nolan stared at me in disbelief.

"Gwendolen, do you think that because I can't divorce you right now, you can talk to me like this? Without being Mrs. James, do you honestly believe anyone would even know who you are?"

I turned my head and smiled. So all these years, in his eyes, I'd been worth nothing.

"Maggie's a nurse. She's more useful than you. With her at my side, I can get into the military. And you? What can you do besides cook and mind a kid at home? Bringing her back to the Capital is the right choice, the only choice."

His words drove into my chest like needles, one after another, each one a sharp, throbbing ache.

Eight years. I had stayed by his side for eight full years. Not one word of praise, not one word of thanks, not even a single acknowledgment of how hard I'd worked. It all came down to three cold words: I was useless.

"Then submit the divorce paperwork once we're back in the Capital. I wouldn't want to stand in the way of Battalion Commander James's rise to fame and fortune."

I packed Edward's things one by one and set them neatly in the living room, spreading out a thick pad for him. I made no more fuss. Maggie and Curt watched us, smug, their eyes full of victory.

Nolan disappeared into the kitchen to busy himself alone.

"Sweetheart, this room's a little small, but it's fine. Once we're in the big city, you'll live in a real house, nothing these country bumpkins could ever match. Don't be upset."

"Hmph. Uncle said everything of his will be mine one day. He'll treat me just like his own son."

My son looked up at me. I clenched my fists tight. Nolan really couldn't wait, could he? Last time he'd only laid his cards on the table after Maggie died. This time around, he'd done it right from the start.

If he wanted Curt to be his son so badly, then I'd let him have it. I only hoped he could bear the consequences when they came.

The next day, as I was gathering my things, Nolan caught my hand the moment he saw. The menace in his eyes was plain.

"Are you scheming something behind my back again? I told you, this time I have to take the two of them ahead first. Just do as you're told, and once I've got everything arranged, I'll come back for you right away."

I let out a cold laugh and shook off his hand.

"Don't bother. Keep your Maggie in line and stay out of my way. Otherwise, I can't say what I might do if I really lose it."

"Gwendolen, don't push me!"

I saw the killing intent in his eyes. Eight years of standing by him, and this was what I got in returna look meant to kill. How absurd.

"Nothing can change this outcome. Anyone who touches those two is going up against me, and I won't show any mercy."

His words slammed into me like a great iron hammer. I never knew his feelings for Maggie ran so deep.

"I'm only packing. Why are you so on edge? If you're that afraid of what I might do to her, then keep a close watch on her."

"Packing won't do you any good. It's already been stamped and sealed. Nothing can change it, so don't get any funny ideas."

By the fourth day, I finally received the train tickets they'd sent over, and the worry pressing on me eased just a little.

"Oh my, what's my little sister-in-law hiding here? Let me have a look!"

Maggie snatched the envelope while I wasn't paying attention, and I flew at her in a rage.

"Why so nervous? Don't tell me some secret lover sent it to you."

"Maggie, unless you want your dirty little business dragged out for everyone to hear, give that back to me."

She hesitated for a second, but my tone was too frantic. She could tell whatever was inside mattered a great deal to me, and the more it did, the more curious she got.

"Trying to scare me? I'm not afraid of you."

With that she started to tear it open. I lunged and ripped the envelope back, pulling out what was inside and stuffing it into the lining of my clothes. The instant she saw Nolan, she flung herself backward and dropped.

"Gwendolen, have you lost your mind?"

Maggie crumpled boneless into his arms, trembling all over.

"It's all my fault. Some man sent her a letter, and I was only worried she'd do something foolish. I just wanted to show it to you. But she got so nervous she shoved me."

He narrowed his eyes, his gaze lingering on me for a moment.

"Apologize to Maggie."

"I didn't shove her!"

"If Maggie says you shoved her, then you shoved her. Apologize!"

I didn't give an inch.

"Why should I apologize to her? I've never owed her a thing. You're the ones who owe me. I won't apologize to her. She's the one who should apologize to me, and I'd take that just fine."

Nolan hadn't expected the weak wife he knew to be this hard, and for a moment it threw him.

"You shove someone and you think you're in the right?"

"I told you I didn't shove her. Believe it or not, that's up to you."

There was no point wasting explanations on them. Two days left. I meant to make my final preparations.

Nolan saw me packing, and something about it sat wrong with him. He checked and rechecked, only to find the relocation roster was still the original one, untouched.

I knew he'd been watching me the whole time, but I ignored him. After all, the only use Nolan had to me was being Edward's father. The day he lost even that use, he could vanish from my world completely.

"In two days we leave. Here's some money for you. As long as you don't cause trouble, I'll send you money every month."

I opened the bankbook and looked. Of the original three thousand dollars, only a hundred was left. Maggie walked up to us holding the two thousand-odd she'd taken.

"Nolan, why not just leave it for her?"

I looked at the two thousand-odd in her hand. I had saved that up over eight full years.

"No need. A hundred dollars will feed the two of them a long time, and I'll send them money every month too. You're more delicate, you have more expenses. Keep it."

"Nolan, you're really something."

I hurled the bankbook straight at his face, and I threw it so hard it landed with a loud crack. A man like him could never stand that kind of humiliation.

"That's enough. Otherwise you won't even have grocery money each month. If you were smart, you wouldn't fight me. The only one who loses is you."

"Nolan, I hope you can comfort yourself the same way once you get to the Capital."

He watched me walk away, teeth grinding, and yet a strange unease crept over him, though he couldn't say where it came from.

Since being reborn, my attitude toward him had changed completely. All these years I'd had nothing but him, and it was exactly that which had emboldened him to treat me this way, certain I couldn't live without him.

He glanced at my luggage, gave it a kick as if the sight of it offended him, and only then did the knot in his chest loosen a little.

By evening Edward still hadn't come home. Not only him. Maggie, Curt, and Nolan hadn't come back either. My heart kept pounding, and I couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to happen.

"Eddie's mama, hurry, your man's lost his mind!"

I shot to my feet and ran out after the older woman.

I heard Edward's terrified screaming before I even reached the door of the community clinic.

"No, let go of me, I want my mama, Mama come save me!"

My heart dropped, and when I rushed inside, I saw something that made my blood run cold.

"Get away from him, don't touch him!"

The moment Edward saw me, he finally had someone to cling to, and he burst into tears.

"Nurse Matthews lost too much blood, and the blood bank is out of stock."

"You've got the nerve to cry? You put your aunt in this state, and now we're only drawing your blood to save her."

"I didn't, I didn't push her, she was the one trying to push me, I just got out of the way."

Nolan reached over and yanked Edward out toward him.

"Have you lost your mind? Your son already explained."

"I don't believe it. Maggie doesn't lie. Since he's the one who did wrong, then he takes responsibility. He's the only one here with the same blood type."

"No. He's only eight. Are you even human anymore?"

Nolan wasn't hearing a word of it. He ordered the nurse to insert the needle, and Edward struggled the whole time, terrified.

"Nolan, let go of him, do you hear me?"

"The doctor said there won't be any problem, but Maggie's condition can't wait."

I looked at Nolan, and the hatred in my heart hit its peak. I shoved him hard and grabbed Edward and ran for the door, but the men he'd stationed there blocked me.

"Saving the people is my duty, and since you're my son, you carry that same obligation. Draw the blood. Hold her down."

"Nolan, if that needle goes in, I'll make sure you never get promoted again as long as you live."

He only shot me a vicious glare.

"My promotion is decided by the top brass. We leave the day after tomorrow. If you won't fall in line, then the two of you stay here for the rest of your lives."

The instant the needle went in, Edward's crying drove me completely out of my mind.

"Nolan, you'll get what's coming to you."

I was so worked up my body was shaking, and my voice shook with it.

"This is madness. He's just a child."

An officer rushed in and put a stop to all of it. Nolan tried to explain, and the officer waved him off.

"No matter how desperate you are to save someone, he's just a child, and your own child at that. With all the people in this compound, I refuse to believe you couldn't find one."

I gathered Edward up and hurried home. The officer said only one thing to Nolan.

"You've lost your head. I only hope you won't regret it when the time comes."

I got back to the compound, soothed my son until he calmed, and set about the last of the packing. Nolan didn't come back with Maggie until the evening of the fifth day, and Edward trembled at the sight of them.

I chalked up another mark against them in my heart.

At dinner, Nolan caught sight of the luggage piled in the corner and knit his brows.

"I told you, I can't take you with me. What are you packing for?"

"None of your business."

Four words shut him down cold. Meeting my indifferent gaze, he felt something clog up tight in his chest.

"Gwendolen, in these eighties, without me as your backing you won't get anywhere."

"No need to trouble yourself. Better mind your own affairs."

My tone was far from pleasant, and he was too angry to even eat.

I slept badly that night. My dreams were full of every little moment from my past life in the Capital.

Nolan had everything ready first thing in the morning. He glanced at me, expecting me to make a scene, but I just sat quietly eating breakfast with Edward, a faint trace of a smile at the corner of my mouth, whether I meant it or not.

I was smiling, yet there was a vague unease about it, because he could tell I was very different today. My mood was good, with the illusion of someone about to break free of a cage.

Before he got in the car, he shot me a look. I was busy talking with the neighbor lady, and just before leaving he made a point of telling me to stay here, behave myself, and do some reflecting.

I didn't so much as glance his way, which left him vaguely rattled, as if something was slipping out of his grasp.

The very moment he drove off, a car pulled up at the gate of my compound.

"Professor Henson, please, get in!"

I took Edward and left the compound I'd lived in for eight years. My train wasn't the same as Nolan's, but they left only a few minutes apart, and from the platform right across from his.

Edward and I had just boarded the green-skinned train when the departure whistle sounded from the opposite platform.

The instant Nolan looked up, he froze.

"Gwendolen!"