His Secret Love Cost Me Everything

My boyfriend, Dana Gilbert, was determined to marry me even though his whole family was against it.

My family was poor. He was the top heir of the city's elite circle.

He'd told me, so seriously.

Pamela Ellison, you're the only person I love. All I want is to be with you.

Everyone said I was lucky, that I'd found real love.

Until that day, Dana's birthday, when I cut my business trip short and came back to New York early to surprise him.

Instead I walked in on him with my best friend.

Dana had Bella White held tight in his arms, kissing her forehead as he said it.

"With Pamela away, I get to take care of you now. You have no idea how much I've missed you."

"We finally have this place to ourselves. You don't know how exhausting it is, putting on an act in front of her. You owe me for that."

...

I stood there a long time, listening to those words go straight through me.

To marry me, Dana had already fallen out with his family.

Even when his mother was so furious she threatened to cut ties with him and have a second child to raise properly instead, he hadn't budged.

He said I was his true love. He couldn't imagine what life would be like without me.

And now he was saying it had all been an act.

A cat trotted over from a little way off and rubbed against me, meowing affectionately.

Bella looked toward me. There was a string of prayer beads around her wrist.

My fingertips went cold.

That was the bracelet I'd gotten for Dana last year, after his racing accident, when I'd knelt up nine hundred ninety-nine temple steps to pray for him.

Afterward he'd apologized to me, said he'd snapped the string by accident.

I'd meant to go pray for another one.

But Dana had said, "Pamela, that's all just superstition. I can't believe you buy into that stuff. It's only a bracelet. I never liked wearing things like that anyway. Too much of a bother."

The moment Bella saw me, the color drained from her face.

She scrambled out of Dana's arms and came toward me.

"Pamela, why are you back so suddenly?"

"I got sick all of a sudden, and there was no one to look after me, so I called Dana. I only didn't tell you because I didn't want you to get the wrong idea."

My voice was flat.

"What kind of illness needs hugging and kissing to cure?"

Bella went a shade paler.

"It's not what you think."

"Don't misunderstand. He was just checking whether I still had a fever, because there wasn't a thermometer."

I listened to her clumsy excuse and couldn't help a cold laugh.

Did she take me for an idiot?

My eyes swept the living room and landed on a photo of Dana and Bella sitting on the table.

Bella followed my gaze and rushed to explain.

"There's a married guy at my company who keeps harassing me. I told him I had a boyfriend and he didn't believe me. I had no choice, so I begged Dana to take one photo with me. I was going to show it to my coworker and then tear it up."

"Pamela, please don't get the wrong idea. I'm your best friend. How could I ever do anything to hurt you?"

Dana, who'd been silent this whole time, moved Bella behind him and came toward me.

He took my bag from my hand and reached for my slippers.

"You've never liked heels, you always say they're uncomfortable. Come on, change your shoes and I'll rub your feet."

He bent to help me with my shoes, gentle as ever.

But the second his hand touched me, Bella turned her face away.

Dana's hands stopped. He stepped back at once, two steps back.

"You go on ahead. Bella's still sick, I need to take her home first."

I looked at how distant he'd gone, and asked him straight out.

"What were the two of you just doing?"

Dana frowned.

"Bella already explained it to you just now."

I gave a small laugh.

"Dana, do you and Bella take me for a fool?"

The moment I said it, Bella burst into tears.

"Pam, I was just sick and feeling awful, I wanted someone to give me a little comfort. If it upset you, I'll apologize, okay?"

Dana's brows drew together on instinct, a flicker of tenderness in his face.

I stood where I was, and all I felt was exhausted.

To finish the project sooner, I'd pulled a solid week of grueling overtime.

The whole time I'd slept three hours a night, all so I could get back sooner and see Dana.

I never thought I'd come back to find him with someone else.

I looked at Dana and said quietly,

"Dana, let's break up."

His head snapped up toward me.

"Pam, our engagement is already settled. How can you throw out a breakup so lightly?"

I slid off the ring Dana had put on my finger when he proposed and held it out to him.

"Here's your ring back."

For an instant, the air went silent.

I paid them no more attention and turned to leave.

Dana started to come after me, but Bella suddenly broke into sobs.

"Dana, how could this happen?"

He turned back and pulled Bella into his arms, murmuring to comfort her.

Back home, the first thing I did was announce that Dana and I had broken up.

And I made the reason clear.

In no time, all my friends were in an uproar.

Bella saw my post too.

She started calling and messaging me nonstop.

"Pam, don't be rash, please. How can you just call off an engagement like that?"

"Pam, please pick up. I already explained it to you. Why won't you believe me?"

"Pam, can you delete that post? This makes me look terrible. How am I supposed to face everyone?"

...

I blocked her outright.

Another hour passed.

Then Bella suddenly called again.

I picked up. On the other end she was crying so hard she could barely speak.

"Pam, I'm on the roof of your building. I'm apologizing to you. Please forgive me, okay?"

"If you won't forgive me, I'll jump."

I could faintly hear wind through the phone.

I ran up to the rooftop and saw Bella standing alone by the railing, teetering.

Dana came charging up from downstairs, his face grim.

He yanked Bella back from the edge in one motion.

"Bella, do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"If you jumped, what would I do?"

Bella cried even more piteously.

"But I want to apologize to Pam. I want her to forgive me."

"Now everyone's saying I'm the other woman, that I came between my best friend and her boyfriend. I really don't want to live anymore."

Dana's eyes cut at me like knives.

"Pam, she's your best friend. Are you really going to drive her to her death?"

It struck me as absurd.

"What does her wanting to die have to do with me?"

The words were barely out when Bella suddenly tore free of Dana and lunged at me.

I stepped aside, and she went over the edge.

Dana's eyes went wild. He rushed downstairs at once.

I'd called the fire department the second it started.

The safety cushion had long been laid out below.

Bella was fine, just a few scrapes.

Dana checked her over anxiously for a long while, and finally let out a breath.

He carried the fainted Bella off to the hospital, and before he left he turned on me, vicious.

"Pam, if anything happens to Bella, I won't let you off."

I stood there, my heart aching like it had been jabbed with a needle.

I'd known for a while their relationship wasn't ordinary, but Dana's attitude still cut me.

To him, I, his fiance, mattered less than Bella.

I thought about it for a long time, and in the end I still went to the hospital.

I sat on the long bench in the hospital corridor, looking at the marks Bella's sharp nails had scratched into my hand.

Alone, in silence, I dabbed on the ointment.

Dana walked over and saw the wounds on my hand.

He frowned.

"How did you get hurt?"

He bent down and examined the injuries closely, his tone slipping back to its old gentleness.

"Pam, Bella's fine, you don't need to worry."

"The only reason I was with her is that she's your best friend. There's nothing between us. I went to take care of her when she was sick because of you, too."

"Pam, stop this. Our engagement won't be called off. You know how long I fought with my family to marry you, how much it cost me. How can you have the heart to give me up?"

He paused, then went on.

"I'll buy you a villa. Haven't you always wanted to move your mother to New York?"

"This whole thing made you misunderstand me. That's my fault. I apologize. You know I've never been willing to let you suffer."

"I'll put the house in your name. Consider it compensation."

I found it deeply ironic.

Did Dana really think this was about money?

He kept talking.

"Pamela, but I have one condition too."

"This whole thing started because of you. Bella got hurt because of you, so you're going to apologize to her. She's all alone in New York with no one to lean on, and while she recovers you'll stay at the hospital and take care of her. It'll be the perfect chance to clear up the misunderstanding between you two."

"I'm saying this for your own good. I can't stand the thought of you losing a good friend."

I couldn't help laughing, and my voice came out cutting.

"You're so good to me. So thorough, thinking of everything on my behalf."

I'd raised it before, that I wanted to buy my mother a home so she could live out her later years comfortably.

I'd use all my savings and never touch a cent of his.

But at the time Dana had frowned and said,

"Pamela, our families are already worlds apart. My mother has never approved of me marrying you. If you blow through all your savings now to buy your mother a house, my family will think you're calculating, deliberately leaving yourself a way out."

I didn't want to put him in a difficult spot, so I let the idea go.

And my mother went on living in that same old house.

Yet now, for Bella, he was more than generous, ready to hand me a whole villa.

And still calling it doing me a favor.

He really did take me for a fool.

I laughed, cold. "Dana, I told you I won't marry you. We've already broken up. Do you not understand plain words?"

"If you care so much about Bella, then you go take care of her. Why should I be her unpaid nanny? And why on earth would I need to apologize to her?"

Dana's face began to sour with impatience.

"Pamela, don't be so ungrateful."

"She jumped off a building just to prove her innocence to you. She nearly died. She cares that much about your friendship, and you can be this cold-blooded?"

"She thinks of you at every turn, and all you've done is push her toward death. How can you be so selfish? You misunderstood her and slandered her over some passing prejudice of yours. Do you have any idea how long Bella cried over it? And then you deliberately wrecked her reputation, made everyone think she's a mistress who wedged herself into her own best friend's relationship. Shouldn't you be the one apologizing to her and admitting you were wrong?"

I looked at him.

"That's right. I did nothing wrong."

"Every bit of the wrong here belongs to the two of you. You shouldn't have done things that gave people the wrong idea. Stop making excuses."

"If she isn't a mistress, then why did you kiss her?"

Seeing that nothing was getting through to me, Dana forced down his temper and said,

"I won't make you nurse her for free. I'll pay you well for it."

"As long as you go public and say everything you posted was fake, that you were the one smearing Bella, I'll give you anything. Name your price."

Without a moment's hesitation I hurled the bottle of antiseptic at him.

And turned to go.

I should have seen it long ago.

I was the one who was slow and stupid, letting myself be deceived this far.

So it turned out Dana cared about Bella even more than I'd imagined.

And what was I to him, really.

Behind me, Dana's voice rose in anger.

"Pamela, you'll regret this."

Back home, I stood at the window, looking at the greenery outside.

I thought of the first time I met Dana Gilbert.

I'd gone down to buy coffee near my office, and he bumped into me by accident.

The coffee spilled all over me. He added me on WeChat and sent me money for dry cleaning, then asked me to dinner to apologize.

I told him it wasn't necessary.

But he showed up outside my office building holding flowers.

His expression was apologetic and earnest.

"Miss Ellison, I'm sorry. I bumped into you on purpose that day. I'm just a clumsy person, and I didn't know what other way I had to reach out to you properly."

Looking at that handsome face of his, my heart skipped half a beat for the first time, against my own will.

Dana didn't know I'd recognized him long before that.

He was two years ahead of me at school, one of its most talked-about figures.

I'd had a crush on him for a long time. I thought I would keep that feeling buried in my heart forever, and never imagined we'd get the chance to meet again.

Later, it felt only natural when we got together.

After that, Bella White told me, all mysterious.

"Pamela, there's a friend of mine I want you to meet."

When I saw it was Dana, I was stunned, but inside I was overjoyed.

I thought, what a coincidence, that my boyfriend turned out to be my best friend's friend.

Only now do I understand that all of it had signs from the very start.

When I went to the hospital to pick up my mother's medicine, I heard Bella's voice by the stairwell.

"Dana, Pamela already knows about us. What do we do? Will she still marry you?"

"And if she won't, then what happens to us?"

Dana's voice was low.

"She will. I'll make sure she wants to."

"Pamela's simple and naive. A little sweet-talking and she'll come around."

Bella's voice choked, but there was a thread of hope in it.

"Dana, why don't you just break up with Pamela? Let's get married. As long as I can be with you, I'm not afraid of anything."

Dana rejected the idea at once.

"No. Let me marry Pamela first. My mother won't accept her, and when the time is right I'll divorce her. Then we can be together in the open."

"Your background is far better than Pamela's. Once my mother has ground her down enough, you'll walk in the door and she won't give you any trouble."

"I can't bear to see you suffer even a little. Let Pamela take the brunt first. Once my mother's had her fill of it, your days in our family will be so much easier."

I stood frozen where I was, as if all the blood in my body were turning to ice.

So this was the truth.

Bella rose onto her toes and softly kissed Dana.

She spoke as if with a sigh.

"Dana, you really are good to me. You think of everything for my sake."

Dana held Bella close, as if he wished he could fold her into his very bones.

A long while passed before the two of them reluctantly drew apart.

Dana spoke, earnest and unyielding.

"Bella, you know I love you."

"With Pamela, it was always just an act. Everything I've done, I did for you."

I stood there and suddenly laughed out loud.

Dana finally saw me.

His face changed in an instant.

"Pamela."

I clutched the plastic bag in my hand, turned, and walked away.