She Married Me to Make My Best Friend Jealous

1: 1

Before he left the country, my best friend told me Valerie Fox was a bad woman.

I didn't just refuse to believe him. I threw away my career and married into her family.

The day Patrick Henson came home, Valerie got to the airport before I did.

I watched her fling away the flowers, hysterical as she demanded, "You said I don't know how to love. But I picked some piece of trash at random, and I've loved him for three years! Tell me I'm not capable of loving someone. Patrick Henson, how cold can your heart be?"

Patrick took a step back. "He's not trash. He's my brother."

I watched my wife lean in and kiss my brother's mouth, full of feeling.

In that moment, I understood. She was someone capable of love.

It just wasn't me she loved.

The rain in New York was heavy. I stood under my black umbrella, and I'd come at the wrong time.

"How many more years do I have to keep acting this out with him before you believe I'm not a bad woman?"

Valerie's words wound around my ears with the rolling thunder.

My brother's eyes found me.

He lifted his chin at me, a kind of greeting.

Then he looked down at the woman in front of him and warned her, meaning well, "Your husband's here."

Valerie didn't believe him. "What's the point in saying that now? Even if he showed up, it wouldn't change"

I cut in, to keep what was left of the dignity between husband and wife.

"Valerie."

She flinched all over and turned, a little startled. "You, weren't you at home fixing that broken bike?"

"It's raining. I came to pick you two up."

She started to say something else. I stopped her. "Get in the car first."

Before coming, she'd already booked the best hotel.

"Just now, what did you hear?"

"Thunder. Couldn't make anything out."

After that the car went silent, and not another word passed between us.

At the hotel's private room, Valerie's friends had all arrived.

The moment we walked in, I heard them teasing.

"Valerie's here. Where's that highly educated, live-in bootlicker of a husband? How come he didn't come?"

I came in behind her and didn't make a sound.

The eyes at the table moved back and forth over the three of us.

"Time flies. Valerie's married now. Three years ago she was still trailing after Pat"

Someone nearby saw it going wrong and cut in quickly, "What are you talking about? That's all in the past. Let me introduce everyone. This is Valerie's husband, Albert Chavez. A finance PhD. He had a shot at staying on to become a fellow, and gave it all up for Valerie."

One of Valerie's girlfriends scoffed. "Finance PhD, sure. Still just married into our Valerie's family as a live-in husband, didn't he? Albert, you've been with Valerie a few years now. PhD or not, a man can't just coast along waiting to die like this. A grown man with two good hands and feet, living off a woman. Aren't you afraid people will laugh?"

Patrick stood up first. "Willow Barrett, that's too ugly. Say one more thing like that about my brother and we're done."

And my wife, as if none of it had anything to do with her, kept her head down peeling shrimp.

It came naturally: she was about to hand it to Patrick.

Then she caught his look, came to her senses, and fed that shrimp to me.

Before Patrick came home, Valerie's acting had been superb.

So good that even she believed it herself.

Last night in bed, hooking a finger in my belt, she'd been all sweetness and charm.

The second Patrick came back, she forgot the act.

She even forgot I was allergic to seafood.

As I reached for the shrimp, Patrick lifted my plate away first.

Everyone watched, expecting some dramatic tug-of-war.

But Patrick only said mildly, "My brother's allergic to seafood. I'll eat it."

My brother looked at me and smiled. "Bro, this wife of yours isn't doing her job. You need to keep her in line."

Before I could say anything, Valerie beside me jerked her head up.

Her eyes went straight to Patrick.

She wrapped herself around my arm and cooed.

The whole thing looked more like a performance for him.

There was no feeling in her eyes, only panic.

She clung to my arm and shook it, like a dog wagging its tail to beg.

As if to say: See? I'm not a bad woman.

2: 2

I couldn't stand to keep looking at her like that.

I made some excuse and stepped outside.

Rain was coming down hard beyond the hotel doors.

I sat on the bench by the entrance and let the cold wind hit me.

I knew all about Valerie's tangled history with men.

But I didn't care. The moment we married, none of it mattered to me anymore.

As long as the two of us went on loving each other the way we always had.

I believed she'd settle down.

I just never imagined she'd spend three years putting on an act with me, all to prove something to another man.

"What, having regrets?"

I turned. My mother, purse on her arm, sat down beside me with an easy grace.

She tossed a report into my lap.

"Take a look."

Ever since I married Valerie, I'd all but cut ties with my family.

This was the first time my mother had ever come looking for me.

"What is this?"

She said nothing, just touched up her lipstick in a small mirror.

The envelope wouldn't open, and I had no patience for it. I tore it open.

It was the report from the physical exams we'd done together at the hospital, back when the Fox elders started pushing us to have a child.

The doctor had said there was nothing wrong and sent us home.

After that, I took no end of grief over the baby that never came.

The Fox family decided I was a useless live-in husband, a man who couldn't even get his wife pregnant.

Good for nothing.

And I'd had no answer to give them.

But the report in my hands now spelled it out plainly.

The wife's long-term use of birth control had damaged her body, leaving her unable to conceive.

"Is this real, or is it fake?"

My mother let out a scornful little laugh. "Albert, are you a pig? Even the dumbest pig should have sensed something was off the moment Patrick Henson came back home."

My hand shook where it gripped the report. Three years of my life, and all of it absurd.

"You knew what she was doing... why didn't you tell me sooner?"

My mother spread her hands and laughed. "You chose this yourself, Albert. Wasn't it you who threw away your career and insisted on marrying into her family? Open your eyes and look. This is the marriage you picked. A wife you traded a brilliant future for!"

With that she swung her purse at my head. "Stupid as they come!"

"Your father is upstairs entertaining guests, so I don't have time for you. Whenever you come to your senses, come home and find me."

After she left, I sat there alone for a long time, forcing myself calm.

It was as though something had struck me square in the chest, and the ache wouldn't let go.

When I finally carried the report back inside, Valerie and Patrick were in the stairwell.

The stairwell was closed off, but her voice still cut through to me.

"Why? You said I didn't know how to love, so I found someone to love at random. You said I wasn't fit for marriage, so I married someone at random and got through three years just fine. You don't know it, but that piece of trash is thrilled with me. To this day he still thinks I love him. Just tell me what's wrong with me, and I'll change it, I swear I will!"

Valerie pressed in, step by step, and Patrick raised both hands and backed away just as steadily.

He drew a deep breath and said, "Make a good life with my brother."

"I don't want that! Why can you never just give me one chance?"

"It's because I knew the two of you had been stable these three years that I came back at all."

Valerie broke down, screaming. "But all of it was an act!"

My hand, already lifted to push open the stairwell door, sank slowly back down.

I knew then. The marriage I'd spent three years calling mine was over.

3: 3

Back in the private dining room.

They hadn't noticed I'd returned yet, still chatting away among themselves.

"Valerie's really something. She brings her little favorite out for a good time, and she drags the one from home along too. How's anyone supposed to relax like that?"

"Stop it, isn't that what makes it exciting? You didn't see the look on Valerie's face just now when she said in front of everyone that she'd rather be Patrick's mistress. Gave me goosebumps."

I leaned back against my chair, lit a cigarette, and listened quietly.

When Valerie came back, her eyes were red. "Honey, when did you get back?"

Everyone turned to look at me.

The whole room dropped to freezing.

They all looked like they'd seen a ghost, and none of them dared to spill it all to Valerie, so they just played mute.

Valerie sat back down beside me. A server wheeled in the cake.

Today wasn't just about Patrick coming home. It was my wife's birthday too.

Everyone sang the birthday song, all of it awkward.

My wife looked at me, smiling sweetly, then noticed the report in front of me and picked it up.

"What's this? Is it a birthday present for me?"

I said nothing and drank.

I just felt the person beside me go stiff.

She stayed quiet, watching me, and awkwardly slid the report back.

"Nothing you want to explain?"

My wife's face went ugly. Under the table she gripped my arm. "It's such a small thing, do you have to humiliate me right at this moment? Let's talk it through slowly once we're home."

Even now, she still thought this was a small thing.

I lifted my head and saw my wife had already scooted her chair over, one inch short of settling right into my good brother's lap.

I was so angry I laughed. "Who's humiliating whom, exactly? If you want to marry him, I can make it happen for you."

"You've got it wrong, that's not what I meant."

And with that, my wife scooted her chair back, her voice softening a good deal.

"Honey, how could you think that of me? Patrick just got back, I only went over to keep him company for a chat. You're reading too much into it, I'm just"

"Enough! Stop the act! Doesn't it disgust you?"

The sudden shout made everyone turn.

My wife's face went white. She bit her lip and looked at me with hate.

It was the first time I'd ever seen that look from her.

Loathing. A deep, bitter hatred.

It made me laugh. I grabbed her arm and hauled her toward Patrick.

And threw her whole body into his arms.

"Albert, what is wrong with you!"

Valerie sprang up cursing at me, hand raised to slap me.

I stepped back twice and looked at her like a stranger.

"Albert, you've really grown a spine! Losing your mind in the middle of the night!"

Patrick stood too, trying to smooth it over. "What's going on here?"

I didn't look at him. From start to finish my eyes stayed on Valerie. "Three years of pretending. You must be exhausted."

"Shut up! Quit slinging mud at me! It's my birthday today, and instead of a husband who comforts me, you actually come here picking a fight? Albert, you have no heart! Is this how you treat me?"

Watching her react like that, even I found it unbelievable. "How I treat you? To get a child, do you know what your parents put me through? Calling me a cheapskate! Three bowls of some foul folk-remedy brew every single day, did I ever say one word? And in the end? You were the one taking birth control pills every time, never missing once! That's what ruined"

"Slap!"

Valerie's hand landed across my face, her voice rising with it.

"Enough! No kid all this time, and it isn't your fault? Three years of medicine and still useless, Albert, are you good for anything at all? Patrick's home today, I'm happy, I don't want to fight with you. Eat if you can stomach it, and if you can't, get out."

With that, Valerie pulled Patrick back to the table.

The others pretended nothing was wrong, but their eyes kept circling back to us.

Valerie picked out food for Patrick. "Patrick, have a taste."

He didn't eat. She looked crushed. "Are my chopsticks too dirty for you? I knew you were coming home, so these past two weeks I haven't let Albert touch me. They're clean, just take a bite."

And she pushed her chopsticks a little closer to him.

"My brother's still sitting right here. What are you doing?"

I clenched my fist, laughing in anger.

Then it turned in my head, and it didn't seem to matter anymore, so I asked her plainly.

"When are you free? Let's go get divorced."