After Pregnancy, He Gave Our Wedding to My Bestie

1: 1

Three years since Cliff Delgado and I got our marriage license, and the wedding he'd promised to hold still hadn't happened.

He was always too busy with work. Ten times I'd hired someone to pick a lucky wedding day, and ten times he'd turned it down.

On the eleventh, Cliff finally cleared his schedule.

I'd booked the wedding gown, full of anticipation, and then found out I was pregnant.

My mother-in-law came to stay and look after me. "You're going to be a mother now, what do you still want a wedding for? Once my precious grandson graduates, there'll be plenty of time to fuss over it!"

Cliff looked openly displeased, arguing on my behalf.

"A wedding is the biggest day of a woman's life. Of course she'll have one. But right now the baby comes first. Once the baby's born, I'll give you a grand wedding, I promise."

I looked at him, moved, and nodded hard.

When I went to cancel the gown order, I couldn't help wanting to try on the one I loved just once more.

But the moment I stepped into the fitting area, I saw my husband walk in with his arm around my best friend.

Hildegarde Swanson picked up the most expensive gown and stuck out her tongue, playful.

"You think Star can tell you're skipping her wedding on purpose?"

Cliff pinched her cheek.

"No way. That stupid woman believes anything I tell her."

"If she weren't pregnant, I'd have just been playing around anyway. She's dull, no charm to her. Not like you, you little minx."

"And I promised you a long time ago. She gets the marriage license, you get the wedding. Fair enough."

I dropped to the floor, and my tears soaked into the gown.

I was too stupid, too stupid to see he'd only been playing with me,

too stupid to see that all his devotion was an act, a show he put on to fool me.

If the marriage license and the wedding could only go to one of us, then I'd take neither.

...

Through the crack in the fitting room door, I watched Hildegarde nestle into Cliff's arms.

"It's not like I'm stealing her spot."

"I just don't believe in marriage, but I still want to feel what it's like to be a bride."

"The three of us are the closest, so who else could I go to but you?"

She straightened up and poked a slender finger against Cliff's chest.

"But if you dare hold a wedding with her, it won't be clean anymore. I'd rather find someone else."

Cliff caught her hand and pulled her back against him.

"I know. You're the one who wants everything perfect. You can't stand anything that isn't clean."

He gave her backside a pat. "Go try the gown on."

Hildegarde skipped happily into the fitting room right beside mine.

I curled up in mine, hand pressed over my mouth so no one would hear me cry.

But I couldn't hold back the dry heaving of morning sickness, tears and snot smeared together.

So the wedding I'd been foolishly waiting for all this time, Cliff had never once meant to give me.

He was right. I really was stupid and spineless.

Stupid enough to believe every word he said, waiting like an idiot for him to finish work and give me my wedding.

Stupid enough that my best friend and my husband had gotten tangled up right under my nose, and I'd never noticed a thing.

Too spineless to confront them even after catching them together, only able to hide in a fitting room and cry.

"Miss? Are you all right?"

An attendant knocked, kindly holding out tissues and a glass of water.

I took them, a mess, and breathed deep, trying to steady myself.

On the other side, Hildegarde had already changed into a gown and come out, and something dazzled in Cliff's eyes that he couldn't hide.

"Hildegarde, you're beautiful."

She smiled, shy, then lifted her head and let him look his fill.

Hearing the noise from my side, the attendant quietly told them what was going on.

Hildegarde sighed with pity. "How sad. Coming to try on a wedding gown all alone. The man definitely doesn't love her."

Cliff knelt on one knee to arrange the hem of her gown.

"Something like this, no matter how busy I am, I'd never let you come alone."

He stood, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Always at my princess's service."

Hildegarde gave a soft laugh. "Then thank you, Captain Delgado, for making time to keep me company."

I huddled in the fitting room, wiping the cold sweat from my forehead, bitterness rising in my throat.

I had never once seen Cliff so gentle, so attentive.

Back then I'd asked, just once, whether he could come try on gowns with me, and he'd stared at me and sighed with a frown. "You need me for something this small? Do you have any idea how busy I am?" As if I were being ridiculous.

So I'd been understanding about his work, and I'd gone to order the gown alone, and I'd come to cancel it alone.

I'd handled everything at home by myself, never wanting to trouble him.

And now here he was, behind my back, keeping my best friend company while she tried on gowns.

So in the end, the only one who'd been moved was me. The only clown was me.

The store manager brightened at the sight of them, first gushing about what a perfect couple they made, then speaking up.

"Would the two of you be willing to shoot a set of promotional photos for our store?"

"We could offer fifty percent off the gown."

Hildegarde looked up and tugged eagerly at his sleeve.

Cliff flicked her nose fondly,

then turned and said warmly to the manager,

"Whatever my love wants. If she wants to shoot them, we'll shoot them."

She was his love. Then what was I?

While I sat there dazed, they had already exchanged a smile and turned toward the photo studio.

A message alert on my phone pulled me back to reality. I looked down and opened it.

Cliff Delgado: Silly Star, I'm about to take off. I'll be home tomorrow at three in the afternoon. Take care of yourself and the baby. Love you both.

I couldn't hold it any longer and rushed to the store's restroom, gripping the toilet and vomiting until I was wrung out, until nothing but sour water came up, and then not even that.

One wall away, the photo shoot was still going strong,

while I, held up by the attendant, braced myself against the wall and inched over to the sofa to sit down.

When I'd finally scraped together some strength, I stopped hesitating.

I signed the cancellation form, then forced myself out the door, hailed a cab to the hospital where I'd registered my pregnancy, and took a number with the doctor I knew.

I sat across from him, face drained of color.

"Please schedule me for an abortion."

2: 2

Dr. Matthews looked at me, startled.

"Conceiving naturally in your situation is very difficult. Are you sure you want to terminate?"

"With your husband's condition, if you want a child again you may have to go through IVF. You'll go through a lot of suffering."

I let out a bitter laugh. To spare Cliff's pride, I had never once mentioned his low sperm count to him.

When I got pregnant, I was overjoyed, and I'd always believed the baby was a gift from heaven.

Even so, hearing the doctor ask that, I couldn't stop my hand from moving to my belly, my eyes brimming.

"Just book me in first."

Whoever suffered in the future, none of it had anything to do with me anymore.

When I got home, my mother-in-law glanced at me from the kitchen,

then launched straight into her usual scolding,

"Where have you been? Coming home this late, what about my precious grandchild going hungry? You stupid, good-for-nothing thing!"

I finished changing out of my shoes and stood up,

and instead of bowing my head and apologizing like I always did,

I stared at her and asked,

"Do you know what Cliff went out to do?"

Carla froze for a second, something uneasy flickering in her eyes.

"What else? Working, of course. You think it's easy, feeding a freeloader like you?"

"Day after day with nothing to do but let your mind run wild. Go wash your hands and eat."

Strange. I'd always been slow, but this time it hit me at once: so she knew too.

They'd only kept it from me.

Numb, I sat down at the table while she kept muttering.

I wanted to argue that I wasn't a freeloader. I didn't have a job, but I'd never put my paintbrush down.

It broke my heart, watching Cliff fly all over the country, so after we got the marriage license I'd handed over every cent of my illustration fees to cover the household, buying him decent clothes, even paying for the pricey health supplements Carla took year-round.

But in this house I'd grown used to silence, and in the end I said nothing.

I ate without tasting a thing, then went to the kitchen to wash the dishes on my own.

Last time Cliff was home, I'd turned to leave after dinner and Carla called me back.

"Go wash the dishes. So dramatic over one little pregnancy! When I was pregnant I did everything, and my child turned out perfectly fine."

Cliff pushed back on my behalf, and I'd foolishly played peacemaker, saying it was only a few dishes.

Looking back now, he'd spoken up for me, but his backside never once left that chair.

In a daze I made it to three the next afternoon.

Cliff pushed the door open, and behind him Hildegarde held his arm, poking her head in with a giggle.

"How's Star doing? My little goddaughter hasn't been giving you any trouble, has she?"

Cliff changed his shoes in the entryway and casually put the heels she'd stepped out of away in the closet.

He explained with a smile,

"Ran into Hildegarde right as I got out of the airport. She insisted she was worried and made a fuss about coming along to see you."

I gave him a perfunctory glance, no smile in my eyes.

When I'd first found out I was pregnant, I'd coaxed him to put my shoes away in the rack for me, and he'd been visibly annoyed. "You don't have hands, Erica? Your shoes are filthy, put them away yourself."

Cliff came over and patted my head.

"Being pregnant is hard work, sweetheart."

"I know you've always wanted a wedding, so I had Hildegarde use AI to make some wedding photos of us."

He pulled a stack of photos out of his briefcase and handed them to me.

"Once the baby's born, I promise I'll make it up to you."

I took them and flipped through. Hildegarde's face had been swapped for mine, everything else left untouched.

Really trying to fool me like an idiot.

I took a deep breath and looked up, right into his eyes.

"What kind of AI makes pictures this lifelike, right down to a mole on the girl's arm that's exactly the same as Hildegarde's?"

3: 3

Hildegarde and Cliff both changed color at the same moment.

Then Cliff snatched the photo up and slammed it down on the coffee table.

"You get pregnant and suddenly you're impossible? If you don't want the baby, then stop staring at it!"

"Hildegarde was only trying to cheer you up. Is that a crime now?"

I wanted to fight back. I opened my mouth and found I couldn't put a single sentence together.

For as long as I could remember, whenever I was wronged or pushed around, Hildegarde was the one who stood up for me.

Then I fell in love, and Cliff took over that place from her.

Countless times I'd thanked heaven for how lucky I was, that I got to have both of them at once.

And these were the two people who could betray me at the same time.

Hildegarde came over and put an arm around my shoulders,

pushing Cliff back with her other hand.

"All right, all right, why are you being so harsh?"

"Star's still pregnant. What if you scare my goddaughter?"

Cliff let out a sigh, easy as breathing.

"You're right, I spoke badly."

"But sweetheart, you shouldn't throw Hildegarde's kindness and mine back at us like this."

"The mole was probably a glitch in the AI. A coding error."

Another wave of nausea hit me. I shook off Hildegarde's hand and rushed to the bathroom to throw up.

When I finished I was almost too weak to stand.

Hildegarde went pattering off for water, hurried back to hand it to me with little steps, her other hand rubbing my back.

I rinsed, spat, and lifted my eyes to look at her.

Her lovely, delicate face was drawn tight, and the ache flickering in her eyes didn't look faked.

Once she saw me steady, she breathed out in relief and helped me over to sit on the couch.

Half joking, she said,

"Being pregnant is such misery. Cliff, that dog of a man, really isn't worth it."

"No. He isn't."

I leaned back against the couch, turned my face toward her, and spoke in earnest.

"For as long as I can remember, you've been the best to me."

"Whatever you want, just tell me. I'm slow, but I'd give it to you even if it killed me."

Hildegarde looked away, thrown.

"You awful girl, why are you getting all sentimental on me?"

Cliff raised both hands in surrender.

"Fine, fine, it's all my fault, the dog who isn't worth it."

"I'll cook myself later to make it up to you. Two princesses, do me the honor."

After dinner we each went back to our rooms.

Hildegarde had said the two of us were closest, so my marital home had to keep a room for her too.

At the time I'd nodded hard, wheedling and coaxing Cliff until he gave her the guest room with the best light.

Looking at it now, there'd never been any need for me to beg like that.

Cliff went to shower in the master bathroom.

Listening to the water running, I walked over to the clothes he'd taken off.

There was a faint lipstick mark on the chest of his white shirt,

but I hadn't worn makeup since I got pregnant.

I pushed the shirt aside and picked up his phone. The lock screen was the photo from the day we got our marriage license.

I thought for a second, typed in Hildegarde's birthday as the password, and it opened.

Hildegarde: Let's set the wedding for that lucky day Star picked. Also, I bought new lingerie

Cliff: Sounds good. I'll come see it at your place tonight.

My vision started to blur again. I quickly pinched my palm to keep myself steady.

Erica Simmons, this time you have to fight for yourself.

I scanned the code to log the iPad into the messaging app, then set the phone back where it was.

Cliff came out of the shower, crouched down carefully, and rubbed stretch-mark oil and moisturizer into my belly.

"Sweetheart, Lawrence asked me to cover a shift for him. Take good care of yourself here at home."

My nails dug into my palm. "Is it really covering a shift? Can't you not go, and stay home with me and the baby?"

Cliff stood and ruffled my hair.

"Not even born yet and you're already using the kid to box me in? I've got real work to do. Don't be unreasonable."

He gave my forehead a perfunctory kiss and left without looking back.

A few minutes later, Hildegarde nudged the door open and poked her head in.

"Star, honey, this fine lady has a date to get to. I'll come see you and my goddaughter tomorrow."

My heart was already bleeding, but my hands didn't stop. I messaged the lawyer.

"I want to file for divorce. What documents do I need to prepare?"

4: 4

I picked up the iPad and opened Cliff Delgado's social media feed.

The tenth lucky day I checked, he was in Iceland with Hildegarde, watching the northern lights. Hidden from me only.

The ninth lucky day, he was with Hildegarde in the Swiss Alps, admiring the cherry blossoms and soaking in the hot springs. Hidden from me only.

The eighth lucky day, he was at the Grand Canyon with Hildegarde on some pilgrimage tour. Hidden from me only.

I curled up like an infant and sobbed out loud on the bed.

There was nowhere to put all the bitterness inside me, and I couldn't stop the thought from coming,

maybe it would be better to go be with my parents, who'd died so young, then I wouldn't have to hurt like this anymore.

Then my belly moved, all at once, and pulled me back to reality.

I never imagined the baby's first kick, the one I'd waited so long for, would finally come now.

In the moment I hurt the most and most wanted to sink under, something gently held me up.

I pulled myself together, gathered my documents and my paintings, then ran out of strength and lay down.

Maybe it was the strain of feeling too much. That night, I ran a high fever.

In my daze I drifted back to how we used to be.

Hildegarde and I were born to be each other's opposites.

She was beautiful and outgoing, the campus goddess everyone chased after, top of the class.

I was plain and quiet, and not much of a student, only getting into a decent college on the strength of a little talent for painting in high school.

Yet two people as different as we were somehow became the best of friends.

I listened while she poured out the misery of her parents fighting, coming to blows. She stood up for me when other kids picked on the girl with no mom or dad.

That was how we leaned on each other through so many years.

Wherever she was, no one could see me.

Just when I'd gotten used to sitting in the audience and clapping for her, Cliff Delgado appeared.

He cupped my face in his hands, all his attention on me.

"No matter how dazzling the moon is, a star can still shine with its own light."

"I just think our little Star is so lovely."

Because of that one sentence, all these years I was willing to live myself into a tree.

To put down roots for him.

Clumsily learning to have everything ready for him, hoping only for the times he might pause and stay a while.

But in the end, the moment the moon came out, the stars vanished.

The next day when I woke, Cliff Delgado and Hildegarde were already home.

My head was still hot and aching, so I didn't get up.

Hildegarde laughed and flung my blanket off me. "You used to just be dumb. Now you're dumb and lazy."

Cliff slid an arm around her waist, familiar. "Right, from now on let's call her our lazy little dumb-pig."

I pressed a hand to my belly and suddenly didn't want to play along with them anymore.

"Cliff Delgado, let's get a divorce."

Cliff's eyes went wide with disbelief.

"You want a divorce over being called a lazy little dumb-pig?"

"Did being pregnant turn your brain to mush?"

Hildegarde smoothed it over. "Pregnant women get moody. Cut her some slack."

"Come with me to get my nails done first, let little Star calm down on her own."

There it was again. She sounded like she was taking my side, but really she was tossing me aside.

Cliff nodded and agreed without a second thought.

But something made me want to try one last time. I looked up and caught his sleeve.

"Cliff Delgado, don't go. My stomach hurts."

Cliff pried my fingers off one by one.

"Quit the act! Trying to use this trick to twist me around again? Dream on!"

He wrapped an arm around Hildegarde and turned to leave without hesitation.

No one noticed I'd been running a fever the whole time. No one noticed I'd packed up my paintings.

I gave a small, bitter laugh and sat there on the bed a long while.

The cramping in my belly suddenly sharpened. I reached down, and my hand came away covered in blood.

On instinct I called Cliff Delgado, only to find he'd blocked me again.

Every time things went sour, Cliff would block me and wait for me to come begging before he'd let me off the blocklist.

But this time I wasn't going to beg.

With shaking hands I dialed 911, and while I waited, the iPad screen lit up.

A message in the group chat named "Family of Three."

"Hildegarde: Then let's do the destination wedding in Aspen, family only, don't set little Star off."

"Cliff Delgado: Fine, we leave today. She thinks the baby lets her act up. I won't indulge that nasty little habit of hers."

"Carla: Hildegarde really is the accomplished, sensible one. If only you were my daughter-in-law."

The ambulance arrived and the medics carefully lifted me onto a stretcher, the doctor's voice grave.

"She's bleeding heavily, this is dangerous, get her to the hospital fast."

A message alert came in on my phone. Cliff, of all things, offering me a way out.

"Erica Simmons, I just got called for a flight, I'll be away half a month. Pack my bags, I'll come home this afternoon to grab them."

But I didn't fire back a reply the second he texted, the way I always used to.

I just held onto the rail of the stretcher and begged the doctor to bring along the documents and paintings I'd packed.

After they finished stabilizing me at the hospital, Cliff called that afternoon.

"What's kept you so busy you can't answer the messaging app? You didn't even pack my bags. Being pregnant's gone to your head, is that it?"

I stared at the IV line taped to my hand and answered calmly. "I ran a high fever all night. I was busy having a miscarriage."