From Now On, My Years Have Nothing to Do with You

1: 1

Nicholas Stephens studied for five years and finally got into grad school.

All those years, I earned the money and took care of him.

The moment the acceptance letter came,

I was happier than he was.

On your first day, will you take me to see the campus?

He quietly tucked the letter away.

A university is for classes, not sightseeing.

"Besides, you only finished high school. Aren't you embarrassed to show up at the country's top school?"

My eyes stung, but I didn't dare argue back.

Until later.

Cornelia Harding's post showed up in my social media feed.

"My brother got into grad school. So happy for him."

She had her arm through Nicholas's, smiling sweetly.

I let out a soft laugh and canceled the train ticket I'd bought to surprise him at the university.

If only a girl like Cornelia, with a bachelor's degree, was fit to walk the campus with him,

then why should someone with just a high school diploma force herself on him.

This time, I didn't just stop caring about the campus tour.

I didn't want Nicholas anymore either.

...

To make classes easier, Nicholas rented a place near the university.

He only came home on Saturday night.

"Didn't I tell you I'd be home today?"

"A few days away and you can't even make me dinner?"

He knit his brows, annoyed, the Rolex on his wrist catching the light.

If I remembered right, Cornelia wore the matching one on her wrist.

His mother had given him the pair to celebrate getting into grad school.

But he'd handed the women's one to Cornelia.

I got up and poured myself a glass of water.

"I worked late today. No time to cook."

Nicholas reached for the glass in my hand out of pure habit.

"Next time, tell me ahead if you're not cooking. I'll just eat out."

I turned to the side and calmly took a sip.

"Sure."

Nicholas stared at his empty hand, blank for a moment.

I set the glass down and picked up my bag off the couch.

"I'm meeting a friend to go shopping. I'll be back late."

Nicholas stopped me.

"Carrie, are you angry?"

He'd finally noticed something was off.

The old me.

I would have been dying to hear everything about his days at school.

The second he got home I'd have rushed over, chattering, asking about everything.

I turned to look at him, and all the hurt piling up in me got stuck in my throat when the doorbell suddenly rang.

"That must be Cora."

Nicholas forgot all about me and went to open the door.

"Hey, I brought all the ingredients for a big dinner to celebrate Nick starting school!"

The next second, she saw the bag on my shoulder.

"Oh, are you heading out?"

Nicholas answered for me first.

"She's going shopping with a friend."

Cornelia looked disappointed.

"But I bought enough for three."

Nicholas took the bags of food from her and carried them toward the kitchen.

"Don't worry about her. I'll eat the extra portion."

"She didn't cook anyway. Clearly she wasn't planning on dinner."

Cornelia caught my arm.

"Stay and eat with us. It's not often the three of us are together."

Her eyes were smiling, and yet there was a hostility in them aimed at me.

I'd bet that right now she couldn't wait for me to leave, so she could have Nicholas all to herself.

"All right. I'll explain to my friend. She'll understand."

I smiled and set my bag back down on the couch.

Cornelia's face changed in an instant.

Only an idiot like Nicholas.

Would believe his adopted sister thought of him as nothing but a brother.

Or maybe.

He enjoyed the arrangement and left it unspoken on purpose.

Nicholas came out in a hurry with his buzzing phone.

"It's my advisor. Carrie, go help wash the vegetables."

With that, he stepped out onto the balcony.

"Let me do it instead!"

Cornelia went into the kitchen, smiling.

I gave a cold smile and picked up an apple, taking a bite.

As if I didn't know exactly what she was after.

Sure enough.

Before long, a scream came from the kitchen.

Nicholas dropped his call and rushed in.

Cornelia was clutching a bleeding finger, tears running down her face.

"Carina Henson, didn't I tell you to wash the vegetables? How could you let Cora go into the kitchen?"

"Do you have any idea how important a painter's hands are?"

Sobbing, Cornelia spoke up for me.

"It's not her fault. I cut myself. I wasn't careful."

Nicholas took Cornelia by the hand and pulled her toward the door.

"I'm taking Cora to the clinic to get it bandaged. You get all the dinner ingredients ready."

"You've cooked for five years anyway. You know the drill."

I gave a bitter little smile.

Right.

For him.

I'd cooked for five whole years.

All those years, all he had to do was study for his exams.

I was the one who handled every last detail, running around taking care of him.

And in the end, it came down to one careless line from him.

"Nicholas."

I stopped him just as he was leaving.

"My mom's asking when we're getting married."

Nicholas froze, and in the end said nothing, pulling Cornelia out the door.

The apartment fell dead silent.

I gave a bitter smile and opened my chat with my mom.

The last message was her asking when our two families would sit down to discuss the wedding.

I'd never answered.

I hadn't known what to say.

But now I had my answer.

"Mom, I'm breaking up with Nicholas."

2: 2

The next day, I went into the office and handed in my resignation.

A headhunter had tried to poach me for a bigger firm before this.

To have more time to take care of Nicholas, I'd had no choice but to turn it down.

The HR manager and I got along well, and she was genuinely happy for me.

"Carrie, you've finally come to your senses. With your talent, you're going to do great things."

I smiled.

"Dinner's on me when the time comes."

After finishing the handover, I went home.

The delivery guy had already left the packing boxes I'd ordered online at the door.

Next came packing up Nicholas's things.

This apartment was bought in my name.

And all these years, I'd been the one paying the mortgage.

Since we were breaking up.

There was no reason for him to keep living with me.

The place was a little out of the way, far from where I worked.

But close to several grad-school prep centers.

The year Nicholas failed the first time, I bought this apartment.

And spent money enrolling him in several prep courses.

After failing, Nicholas fell into a slump.

Until I brought him here.

"Nick, I believe in you. Just one more year of hard work and you'll make your grad-school dream come true!"

He was moved to tears.

"Carrie, I promise I'll give you a wonderful future!"

I laughed and burrowed into his arms.

"Silly. You are my future."

The second year, Nicholas failed again.

This time his eyes were unusually determined.

"Carrie, trust me. Give me one more chance. Next year I'll get in for sure!"

"The minute I get in, we'll get married!"

The third year.

The fourth year.

It was the same lines every time.

I waited, one year after another.

From twenty-two to twenty-seven.

The people around me got married, had kids.

Only I was still there, helping Nicholas chase his grad-school dream.

Working to make money while taking care of Nicholas as he studied.

It was hard to get through.

Countless times I told myself.

Wait a little longer.

The day Nicholas got in, we'd get married and build a happy home.

But yesterday, when I brought up marriage.

Nicholas's eyes just slid away

I spent the whole afternoon cleaning, and only then was the bedroom done.

They say no matter how many closets you give a woman, she'll fill them all.

But Nicholas alone had used more than half the closet.

The few pieces of clothing that were mine hung in the corner, looking pitifully small.

Nicholas had a severe case of OCD.

Hiking required hiking gear.

Interviews required a suit.

At home he had to wear casual clothes.

Because of the mortgage, and because he had no income.

Our life was tight.

To meet his needs, I could only cut it from my own living expenses.

Wearing ten-dollar T-shirts, even using the leftover makeup my best friend passed on to me.

Once the room was done, I moved on to the study.

This was Nicholas's private space.

Apart from bringing in his meals and cleaning, I was strictly forbidden to enter.

Cornelia, though, was the exception.

The wall across from the desk was covered in instant photos.

Every one of them was of her and Nicholas together.

Cornelia had arranged them there on purpose.

Last year, Nicholas earned a bit of money submitting a piece to a newspaper.

Without a second thought, he bought Cornelia painting supplies and the instant camera she'd been dreaming of.

As for me, he gave me a warm hug.

"Cora has no family. I'm the only one who can be good to her."

"Once I get into grad school and win the scholarship, I promise I'll buy you something better!"

For five years, he'd always soothed me with empty promises.

While giving all his favoritism and love to another woman.

As the sky was almost dark.

Nicholas suddenly sent me a photo of a collectible toy.

I remember you really liked this. My mom gave me some money, I can buy one for you.

In the reflection, Cornelia was hugging three blind boxes, smiling brightly.

I replied coldly.

No need.

Or I could bring you along next time to pick one out?

I said, no need.

Empty promises.

I wasn't going to believe them anymore.

The screen kept showing that he was typing.

In the end, he didn't reply again.

I peeled the photos off the wall and threw them into the trash can beside me.

Exhausted in body and spirit, I lay down on the couch just like that and fell asleep.

Until I was woken by a wave of cramping pain low in my belly.

The room was pitch black.

I really didn't have the strength to get up, so I fumbled for my phone and called Nicholas.

In that moment, weak as I was, I forgave everything.

A long, long time passed before Nicholas picked up.

But the voice on the other end was Cornelia's, clear and bright.

"Carrie, Nick's in the shower, he can't come to the phone right now"

3: 3

I had a long, long dream.

In the dream, I finally got the proposal I'd waited for from Nicholas.

But the ring went onto Cornelia's finger instead.

"Carina, you fool. Five years you gave up, and Nick chose me!"

Her smug smile stung my eyes.

I slapped her across the face.

The next second, I opened my eyes.

A white room, the familiar smell of disinfectant.

My mother had brought me to the hospital.

About Nicholas and me, she asked nothing.

She only said one thing:

"Carrie, whatever you decide, don't ever swallow your own hurt again."

The day I was discharged happened to be a Saturday.

Nicholas still didn't come home until after dark.

He didn't have many classes, and on the free days he'd been out with Cornelia around the university.

On her feed, Cornelia was posting happy photos of the two of them:

To be this happy right now, five hard years of waiting were worth it.

Nicholas came in dragging his exhaustion behind him.

The collectible toy he'd bought got tossed onto the couch:

"A gift for you."

Then he knit his brows and looked at me:

"Why didn't you go to Owen's parent-teacher meeting?"

Owen was his younger brother.

All these years, I'd gone to the Stephens family's parent-teacher meetings in the role of the older brother's wife.

Now there was no name for it, no standing.

Why should I still go?

My silence only deepened his displeasure:

"My parents work, I have class. You're the only one with time on Friday."

"Why can't you just be understanding and help us out?"

I hadn't actually had time on Friday.

I'd swapped shifts with a coworker on purpose so I could go to the meeting for him.

Nicholas dropped onto the couch, irritated.

He yanked the collectible toy out from under him and threw it in the trash:

"Carina, ever since I got in, you've been throwing these fits out of nowhere."

"What did I do wrong, that you'd treat me like this!"

I looked straight into his furious eyes:

"Nicholas, let's break up."

"Are you serious?"

He shot to his feet, shocked, and knocked into the table beside him without meaning to.

The clinic slip fell to the floor.

"Your gastroenteritis flared up again?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I called you. Cornelia picked up. She said you were in the shower."

Nicholas froze for a second.

The next moment, he laughed, mocking:

"So you want to break up because you're jealous of me and Cora?"

Then his tone turned put-upon:

"Someone spilled coffee on me by accident that day. Cora's place was right there, so I went to shower and change."

His explanation left me completely unmoved. I pointed at the box a little way off:

"I've packed all your things. Move them out as soon as you can."

His eyes went cold and grim:

"How many times do I have to say it, Cora's my adopted sister. What's wrong with looking out for her a little more?"

"Nothing between us ever crossed the line. Even if you took this to my parents, I'd be the one in the right!"

"From now on, you can look out for her all you want."

As I said it, I got up and went to the door for the delivery that had just arrived.

Fried chicken, soda, and burgers.

From now on, if I don't feel like cooking, I won't.

"I didn't order a portion for you."

Nicholas kicked the trash can over:

"Carina, words said are like water poured out, you can't take them back!"

"Break up for real, and I won't get back together with you!"

He stalked toward the door, cursing under his breath.

"Nicholas."

I stopped him.

Something like triumph flickered in his eyes.

My tone stayed flat:

"Take your luggage with you too."

4: 4

Nicholas walked out carrying all his anger with him.

He left the pile of luggage behind.

So I shipped every bit of it to his rented apartment, freight collect.

Without his things, the whole place felt a lot emptier.

Now I could finally decorate it any way I liked.

Nicholas reached out to me a week later:

Carrie, let's get married.

The proposal came out of nowhere, and I wasn't ready for it.

This was the very thing I'd once dreamed of.

Say yes, and I'd walk into marriage with the man I loved.

The hotel, the dress, the honeymoon spot.

I'd had all of it ready long ago, all for this moment.

But, Nicholas.

The timing was wrong, in the end.

I replied with a bitter smile:

We're already over.

Save your proposal for someone who actually needs it.

Saturday night.

I came back from picking up a delivery.

Nicholas was already sprawled on the couch, reeking of alcohol.

Cornelia was in the kitchen making hangover soup.

When she saw me, she came out smiling.

"Sis, Nick's had too much to drink. He absolutely insisted on coming here."

Nicholas heard the noise and grabbed my hand.

"Carrie, do you have any idea how much courage it took me to propose?"

"I don't get it. Why won't you just say yes?"

I pushed his hand away, then turned and saw the diamond ring on Cornelia's finger.

The diamond was bright and glittering, and very familiar.

My mind went back a long way.

Back then we were still sweet on each other.

Nicholas had taken me to the store to pick out a ring, had my size measured.

He said when the time was right, he'd slip that ring onto my finger himself.

Cornelia noticed where I was looking and hurried to take the ring off.

"I was only wearing it for fun. I'll give it back right now."

But the ring wouldn't come off, like it was glued to her finger.

She teared up, helpless, like an innocent child.

I let out a cold laugh.

"Cornelia."

"Could you stop with that pitiful little two-faced act?"

"It's honestly sickening."

Cornelia froze for a second, then the tears came rolling down, fat and heavy.

"Carina, you're going too far!"

Nicholas sobered up in an instant, his face going dark.

"Apologize to Carrie, now!"

I looked at him calmly.

"Why on earth would I apologize?"

Nicholas stood up to argue and accidentally kicked my delivery box.

"Wall Decor Kit..."

He looked around, stunned.

"You changed the whole layout of the place?"

"Yes. The study too."

"Who gave you permission to touch my study?!"

Nicholas stormed toward the study.

"Where's all my stuff?!"

"Why is everything gone off the walls?"

I walked over, unhurried.

"Your things were shipped to your rented place. Didn't you get them?"

"As for the photos, they made me sick, so I threw them out with the trash."

He clawed at his hair, agitated.

"I live here too. What gives you the right to throw me out?"

"The fact that I'm the one whose name is on the place."

"Damn it!"

Nicholas lost it completely.

"Carina, I had a really romantic proposal all set up down by the water."

"But the way you are now, you don't deserve my proposal at all!"

A proposal by the water had always been my wish.

At that moment, I couldn't put what I felt into words.

He was finally about to keep a promise.

Just after we'd broken up.

Nicholas took Cornelia's hand.

"Carina, today's the day I finally see exactly what kind of person you are."

"And you don't need to apologize to Cornelia either. She can't take it!"

"You wanted a breakup, didn't you? Fine, I'm giving it to you. Don't come crying to get back together later!"

And with that, Nicholas left.

He never contacted me again after that.

I kept decorating the place the way I liked.

The new company was good, and I settled into the work fast.

It was like starting a whole new life.

A month later.

I made plans to go out with a new coworker.

He lived in the faculty housing at a university.

Knowing I wanted to wander around the campus, he'd sent the invitation on purpose.

Owen Stephens sent me a photo of Nicholas and Cornelia together at their family home:

Sis, why did my brother bring Cora home and not you?

Cornelia was still wearing that ring on her finger.

I replied evenly:

Stop calling me Sis.

Your brother and I have already broken up.