My Husband's Baby Wasn't Mine to Wait For

My trainer husband was impotent.

That was why, every time I asked to sleep with him, he'd just raise a hand and say, No.

Even knowing today was our wedding anniversary, he still grabbed his pillow and moved to the guest room.

I knew the truth. He wasn't impotent. He just didn't want to touch me.

I'd begged him once, small and humbled.

"I only want a child. Just one. That's all."

He didn't so much as lift his eyes.

"Now isn't the time for a child."

Even my friends asked me about it.

"Isn't your husband a trainer? Is something wrong with him down there? You've been married all these years and still no baby."

I'd answer, a little embarrassed.

"It's not that he can't. He just says it's not the right time for a child yet."

I waited bitterly for two years, and the "right time" he kept talking about never came.

Then one day I stumbled onto a post from a female fitness influencer.

Under every one of her videos, the same person had commented.

"No ice cream on your period. Did you forget last time, when the cramps had you rolling around in pain?"

"No hot pot. It'll be too spicy for the baby in your belly."

"You've got a baby in there. No working out at the gym."

My finger slipped, and I tapped into the man's profile picture.

There was only one photo inside, of him and his girlfriend, fingers laced together.

The ring on his hand jumped out at me.

I lowered my head and looked at the identical diamond ring on my own ring finger.

There was only one pair like it in the world.

Because I'd made them myself, out of soda tabs.

The other one was on my husband's hand.

Ronnie Henson was holding his pillow, about to head for the guest room.

Then he turned his head and glanced at me.

"How come you're not making a fuss about sleeping with me tonight?"

"Finally learned to behave yourself?"

I set down my phone as the cold washed over my heart in waves.

I stared at Ronnie's bare finger.

I hadn't even noticed when he'd taken the ring off.

Because he'd once told me that if the day ever came when the ring left his hand, it would mean he'd done something to wrong me.

He'd hinted at it so long ago.

And I was only realizing it now.

"Ronnie, did you lose your ring?"

I asked him.

He instinctively hid his hand, his expression a little tense.

"It's not practical for training. I was afraid I'd damage it, so I took it off."

He was bad at lying. The moment he tried, he came apart at the seams.

I couldn't help a bitter smile.

He'd taken it off because he was afraid the sharp soda tab would scratch that other person.

And in that comment section, every line was him fussing over that girl.

They were all "no," but the "no" he said to her and the "no" he said to me meant two completely different things.

Suddenly none of it felt worth it anymore.

Two years of bitter waiting, and it never led to the one thing I wanted.

Ronnie squeezed his pillow and walked into the bedroom, guilt written all over him.

I knew my place. I got up and went to the bedroom beside his.

This scene was how every night ended.

Except tonight, he suddenly came back out, pillow in his arms.

"The guest bed isn't made up. I'll just sleep in the master tonight."

It was the first time he'd ever offered to sleep with me.

Before, I would have been thrilled beyond words.

Because that bed was one I'd left unmade on purpose.

Countless times I'd imagined that one day he'd bring his pillow and sleep beside me.

That day had come fast, and I felt nothing at all.

I shook my head.

"Never mind. I'm used to sleeping alone."

Ronnie looked a little surprised, and a trace of awkwardness surfaced on his face despite himself.

"Weren't you always dying to sleep with me? What is it? Change your tune all of a sudden?"

I opened my bedroom door, my back to him.

"Go to sleep. I'm tired."

He stood behind me, no sign of leaving.

"You did nothing all day. How do you have the nerve to say you're tired?"

The next morning, I sat at the table chewing on dry bread.

Ronnie got up, stared at the empty table, and couldn't hold back a complaint.

"Why didn't you make me any breakfast?"

I swallowed the last bite of bread and looked up at him.

"I used to ask you, and you always said you didn't want it. I figured today would be the same."

Every morning in the past, I'd carefully made breakfast, toasted the bread, warmed the milk, and waited for Ronnie to wake up.

Except when he saw the food, all he'd say, coldly, was:

"Don't want it. No appetite. Too much trouble to eat."

It wasn't that he didn't want to eat. It was that every morning he ate breakfast with someone else, out there.

That was why what I made tasted like nothing to him.

Ronnie didn't say anything. He walked to the entryway and quietly changed his shoes.

Just as he was about to leave, he suddenly stopped and told me.

"I've got a private session tonight. I won't be home for dinner. Don't wait up for me."

I looked at the calendar on my phone and asked him.

"Do you remember what day it is today?"

He thought about it.

"Members' Day at the gym. Sign-ups get a discount today."

I dimly remembered this same day a month ago.

He'd sworn up and down that he would spend my birthday with me.

I didn't say anything more. I opened my phone and booked a flight to Seabrook three days out.

Ronnie loved working out. I was a lazybones.

No one had believed in this relationship. They'd said two people with no shared interests could never make it to the end.

At first I hadn't believed them. Now I did.

My best friend asked me to dinner that night.

She was a little sheepish about it, but she said it anyway.

"I've noticed Ronnie's been giving off major dad energy lately. Are you pregnant?"

I nodded, then shook my head.

"He is about to be a dad. It's just that the one who's pregnant isn't me."

"This marriage was never going anywhere. I've decided to let it go."

By the time we finished eating it was already eight in the evening.

I passed Ronnie's gym on the way, and without thinking I walked in.

Two years of marriage, and I could count on one hand the times I'd come here.

I didn't like working out, so anything to do with a gym I avoided.

The girl at the front desk looked very young.

She smiled and stood up when she saw me come in.

"Here to work out, or just to ask about it? Either way, welcome."

I found a seat somewhere and sat down.

I looked up at the name on her chest.

Annette Sullivan. When she smiled, there was a faint dimple at the corner of her mouth.

"Here, have some water."

Annette set a cup of water on the table in front of me.

She was easy with strangers, even though I had no interest in working out.

She still pulled out the roster and went through the trainers on it one by one.

"This is our most senior trainer. He can get you slimmed down in the shortest time, he's just a little strict in his sessions."

Then she smiled at me again.

"Though you've got a great figure, so you probably won't need it."

I didn't answer, just lifted my eyes and looked around. Still no sign of Ronnie.

Only his photo and bio stuck on the wall.

Annette turned another page, wearing that same easy smile.

"This is the only female trainer we have. Good personality, pretty too. If you'd like, you can ask for her."

I watched Annette's hand keep turning the pages.

Until Ronnie's photo appeared on the last one.

The smile on her face grew wider.

"This is Coach Henson. He's also my husband."

My heart skipped a beat.

My expression froze on the dimple at the corner of Annette's mouth.

So it was her. The influencer who'd made that post.

I couldn't even think anymore.

My mind stayed stuck on those three words: also my husband.

Having said that, Annette couldn't help closing the roster.

"Actually I came here to work out at first, and I ended up meeting my husband."

"After I got pregnant, he wasn't comfortable with me home alone, so he had me come to the gym. I can't sit still, so I just took over the front desk."

I came back to myself and looked at Annette, right there in front of me.

She couldn't know the good husband she was talking about was the man I'd been married to for two years.

Just then Ronnie came over from the workout area.

The instant he saw me, his whole body went rigid.

Annette patted her clothes, stood, and walked over to Ronnie.

"Would you still like to sign up for a membership? There are discounts today."

I pressed my trembling palms together, stood, and faced Ronnie.

"If I sign up, can I request him as my personal trainer?"

Ronnie shot me frantic looks. I acted like I didn't see any of it.

Annette took Ronnie's hand, her eyes smiling.

"He can't, he doesn't take personal training sessions anymore."

It struck me then. Before Ronnie left this morning, he'd said he had a personal training session tonight.

So his personal training time was reserved for Annette alone.

Afraid I'd insist on having Ronnie as my personal trainer,

Annette rested a hand on her belly.

"I'm pregnant, so most of the time he has to take care of me. He can't take clients. Please understand."

The blood in me nearly went cold.

I fought to hold my feelings down.

I turned my head and asked her,

"Then do you know your husband has been married before?"

Annette's hand slipped free of Ronnie's in an instant.

She lifted her head, looking up at the man beside her, demanding an answer.

"Ronnie, you've been married?"

Ronnie shook his head, over and over.

"How could I be? You'd believe anything she says."

"I forgot to tell youthis is my sister. She came by the gym to find me. She loves these dumb little jokes."

Annette seemed to breathe again, and slid her arm back through Ronnie's.

In the end, Ronnie made up some excuse and brought me home.

The moment we were through the door, he blocked my way.

"Annie doesn't know anything. Don't hurt her."

I gave a bitter laugh, and the tears fell anyway, no matter how I fought them.

"You wouldn't have a child with me because of her?"

Ronnie didn't answer, as if there were something he couldn't bring himself to say.

But what about everything I'd swallowed? Did that count for nothing?

I kept going.

"You don't want me to hurt her? Then I'll make sure she knowsshe's the one who wormed her way into someone else's marriage, the other woman who'll never be anything more than that."

Slap.

A sharp crack landed on my face.

The sting in my cheek came with Ronnie's roar, and the rest of my words went back down my throat.

"Rosalind, that's enough!"

"I'll explain all of this to you later, but please, can you not hurt Annie? She doesn't know anything. She's a victim too. I'm the one who wronged her, keeping the truth from her from the start."

"Once she's had the baby, I'll tell her everything."

And me? Didn't I need an explanation too?

That whole year of being lied towhat did that make me?

Slowly I sank down and leaned against the wall.

The next day, Ronnie acted like nothing had happened.

He passed along a message Annette had sent him.

"Company camping retreat. Annie wants you to come."

"Don't blow it. I'm begging you."

I looked at the flight departure time pushed to my phone.

Not much longer to endure.

After tomorrow, you're you and I'm me. We won't have to be tangled up in each other anymore.

At the campsite.

The rest of the company staff quietly treated me as Ronnie's sister.

Because of the night before, Annette was a little embarrassed.

She sat down beside me holding a gift she'd prepared for me in advance.

"I'm sorry, Rosalind. I really didn't know you were Ronnie's sister."

"He never told me before."

Not far off, everyone was watching the two of us like it was a show.

All of them seeming to wait, wondering when the real wife would finally blow up, when I'd expose the whole thing on the spot.

Ronnie sat on my other side, nudging me over and over with the tip of his shoe.

I shifted a little to the side.

"You don't know it, but Ronnie's keeping a lot from you. Want me to tell you, one thing at a time?"

The mood froze to zero.

All you could hear was the muffled breathing around us.

Annette didn't catch my meaning. She smiled and said,

"Go on, then. What else has he done that I don't know about? He's always laughing at me. Let me laugh at him for once."

I looked down and turned the soda-tab diamond ring on my ring finger.

"Back in school, he chased a girl for three years. In the end she still wouldn't say yes, so he kept showing up at her place, day after day, shameless about it, until she finally gave in."

Annette's face soured a little, but she kept listening.

"Later he got his wish and married that girl. And in the second year of their marriage, he cheated."

Annette couldn't hold it anymore. The smile at the corner of her mouth slowly faded.

"Where is that girl now?"

I smiled faintly.

"Isn't she right beside you?"

The next second, Annette rose slowly to her feet, her eyes fixed on Ronnie, wounded and furious.

She said nothing, just clutched her belly and ran.

Ronnie looked at me, a resentment in his eyes I couldn't put into words.

"Why did you have to say it at this exact moment? Annie's already sensitive. If something happens to her, I'll never forgive you."

Annette was the one who came after me with all those questions.

I only told her the truth. I did nothing wrong.

Ronnie didn't come back until the next afternoon.

One hour left before my flight.

He looked awful, sinking down onto the couch.

Rosalind, go apologize to Annie yourself. Just tell her it was a joke, that she shouldn't take it seriously.

My hands stilled over the clothes I was folding.

Why should I apologize? What did I do wrong?

Or shouldn't you be the one apologizing to me?

Ronnie rubbed irritably at his hairline, then lifted his head.

Because Annie once saved my life. Everything I'm doing is just to repay her.

I zipped the suitcase shut and rose slowly to my feet.

There are plenty of ways to repay someone. You chose the stupidest one.

Even as I stood the suitcase upright, Ronnie noticed nothing wrong.

He said that a year ago, when we went to the coast together and he fell into the water, it was Annette who saved him.

Later Annette showed up at the gym, and he decided it was a rare kind of fate.

My grip on the suitcase tightened without meaning to.

A year ago, Ronnie did fall into the water. But the one who saved him wasn't Annette at all. It was me.

After I pulled him out of the sea, I went to flag down the ambulance at the roadside.

But when he opened his eyes, the person he saw was Annette, passing by.

I never explained. He never asked.

He simply took Annette for the woman who had saved his life.

None of it mattered anymore. My phone buzzed again, reminding me to board.

I told Ronnie the same way I always did.

I booked an afternoon flight.

He got up and took the suitcase from my hand, the way he always had.

Getting away for a bit is good. I'll be home waiting for you.

I've cleared up the whole thing with Annie. Stop clinging to these petty little things.

Ronnie talked the whole way there.

Right up until I had to board, he waved at me first.

Come back soon.

In my heart, I answered him.

This time, I wasn't coming back.

......

On his way back to the gym, Ronnie was stopped in the road by Annette.

Rosalind isn't your sister, is she?

Ronnie, don't lie to me. Just tell me the truth, okay?

Ronnie stood where he was, unmoved.

He truly didn't want to hurt the girl in front of him.

But by now, his silence had already said everything.

Annette suddenly stepped back, her voice heavy with loss.

I'm sorry. I didn't know you were married. The baby, I'll go to the hospital and end it.

Rosalind must be hurting so much right now. Go tell her I won't take you away from her.

Annette wept until it tore at her, and even after being lied to, she didn't scream or make a scene. She chose to step aside.

The more she did that, the more it wrenched at Ronnie.

He caught her wrist as she was about to leave.

You saved me. I was supposed to repay you.

Annette wiped her tears, forcing herself to remember, and finally said through her crying,

The one who saved you that day wasn't me. I only happened to be passing by. The one who saved you was Rosalind!

Ronnie stood there blankly, and his grip on Annette's hand slowly loosened.

He'd always felt a piece of his memory was missing, and only now did that day in the water come back to him.

After he'd been dragged ashore, there had been a brief moment when he was clear-headed.

He couldn't make out the face, but he remembered a ring on that person's wrist.

Very unusual.

It hit him all at once. That person had never been anyone else. It was Rosalind.

Because only she would wear a ring made from a soda tab on her hand.

Ronnie looked at the time on his phone.

Only ten minutes left before the plane took off.

Rosalind wasn't going on any trip. She was leaving him for good.

Go after her, hurry!

Annette couldn't help but urge him on.

Ronnie didn't hesitate a second longer. He hailed a cab and headed straight for the airport.