Only Desolation Beneath the Setting Abbott

To close a deal for Max Henson, I drank until my stomach bled.

When my mother heard, she got on a train back home and rode more than ten hours through the night just to see me.

She had bad legs, and she couldn't read.

I couldn't stop worrying, so I asked Max to go pick her up.

He agreed without a second thought. Then he went and never came back.

I called him more than ten times. I sent him a hundred messages.

Not one reply.

I was terrified something had happened to them on the road, half out of my mind.

I was about to call the police.

Then his assistant sent a message out of nowhere.

"Vivien Pruitt, stop calling. Max is with me."

I froze, and with shaking fingers I opened the photo Debbie James had sent.

In it, Max was up at the Hillcrest Hotel with Debbie, watching the sunset.

The evening light spilled over them, the whole picture soft and unhurried, as if all was right with the world.

My mother and I had been forgotten completely.

1.

By the time I found my mother, it was already noon the next day.

The soles of her shoes had worn through, and her heels were raw with blood.

But when she saw me, she couldn't help smiling.

"Vivi, as long as you're okay, I can rest easy."

She smiled, a little sheepish, and hid her injured hand behind her back.

"Your mom's getting old, no good anymore."

"Max went over the way with me a few times and I still couldn't remember it. I made you both worry."

Then she carefully opened the cloth bundle she'd been holding against her chest.

"These are for Max. He left in such a hurry yesterday, there wasn't time to"

"He's out running around all day. Dress shoes are hard on the feet. With these insoles he'd be more comfortable."

Her own feet had bled through.

Yet she'd kept those insoles spotless.

The ache in my chest was almost too much.

All I could do was take her home first.

At some point Max had come back from the hotel.

He was sitting in the living room, drinking tea with Debbie.

When he saw the state of my mother, his face went stiff for an instant.

I thought he was embarrassed about leaving her stranded halfway.

Instead his eyes dropped to the carpet under her feet.

"Debbie brought that back from overseas."

"Handmade, limited edition, by a master. It's worth a lot."

My mother startled and hurriedly lifted her foot.

"I I didn't know."

"Max, don't be angry, I'll clean it up right now."

She stumbled down onto her knees.

She didn't dare touch anything else in the house.

So she used her own sleeve, wiping at the mark on the carpet as gently as she could.

The rainwater on her clothes seeped into the wool.

The pale stain only spread wider the more she rubbed.

I couldn't stand to watch. With tears in my eyes I pulled her up.

"Mom, stop. It's just a carpet."

Her hand hung in the air.

Like a child who'd done something wrong, she looked warily over at Max.

His brow was still furrowed, and then he let out a helpless sigh.

"Forget it."

Max stood up and switched on the air purifier beside him.

He spoke lightly, offhand.

"Debbie's going to be staying here a while."

"She hasn't been well lately. She can't handle mess."

"With your mom like this, it's better if she stays at a hotel. More convenient."

He glanced at Debbie, who was covering her nose, then pulled a stack of bills from his wallet and held it out.

"I'll cover the hotel. Call it a little something from us kids, doing right by our elders."

The bright red cash was like a loud, ringing slap.

It landed hard across my face and my mother's.

She was flustered, at a loss, and could only force out a smile.

"How could I take your money? You're in the big city, it's not easy earning a living."

"I just came to check on Vivi this time. She's fine, so my mind's at ease."

"There's no one to watch the fields back home. I won't stay here and be a burden to you. I'll head back first thing in the morning."

"Oh, right, I brought these from home. Grew them ourselves, no pesticides"

She bent down and opened her suitcase.

Like she was showing off treasure, she took the things out one by one.

I don't know when it started.

I had lowered my head in this marriage.

And my mother had followed me down, bending her back lower and lower.

Until now, little by little, worn down into the dust.

I suddenly remembered how, not long ago, Max's company was strapped for cash.

To help him, my mother sold the house back home and put the three hundred thousand dollars she'd scraped together, along with me, straight into Max's hands.

"Max, don't worry, you've still got me."

"Family has to pull together."

"As long as you and Vivi can be happy, no amount of hardship is too much for me."

Back then she'd stood tall, straight-backed, her face full of a happy smile.

She believed Max would surely make something of himself.

And she believed her daughter would surely find happiness.

Now Max really has built a career.

But in this home, there's no longer any place for me or my mother.

I forced down the ache in my chest and closed my mother's suitcase.

"Mom, we're leaving now."

She froze, then glanced at Max, careful and afraid.

"Can't we wait until morning? You're still not well"

"I'm going with you. I'm not going to stay here and be treated like this."

At that, Max stood up, frowning.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To find a hotel. If there's no room for the two of us here, then we'll both leave."

I took my mother's arm and started toward the door.

Max cut in front of me in two quick strides and slammed his hand down on the suitcase.

"Vivien, don't go."

His voice was too urgent.

Urgent enough that my heart, stupidly, gave a little jump.

Ten years of marriage.

And I still couldn't help hoping he might not want to let me go.

After a moment of silence, his tone softened.

"You just got out of the hospital, you're not recovered. Don't throw a tantrum."

My eyes stung, and I almost asked him if he still cared about me.

But he looked over at Debbie and went on:

"Debbie has a bad stomach. She can't eat the food your mother makes."

"She's staying here for a while, so you need to stay and cook for her."

I stood there like he'd slapped me across the face.

I lifted my head, unable to believe it.

"You blocked me just so I'd wait on her?"

"Wait on her? What are you talking about?"

Max's brow creased.

"You cook anyway. It's just one more pair of chopsticks at the table."

"Debbie just landed a deal for the company, and she's not feeling well. What's the harm in looking after her for a few days?"

My stomach clenched hard.

Even my teeth were shaking.

"That deal? I drank until my stomach was bleeding to close it."

"What did she do?"

Max opened his mouth to argue, and found he had nothing.

He could only dig in. "Debbie signed it in the end."

"Without her to close it out, all your drinking beforehand would've meant nothing."

A contract I'd signed with my own health.

And in Max's mind, it counted for less than one careless line from Debbie.

My eyes went hot before I could stop them.

Beside him, Debbie suddenly tugged at his sleeve.

"Max, don't fight with Vivien over me."

"She just got out of the hospital. She should be resting."

"It's fine, I'll just skip meals, or live on instant ramen. That works."

Then she turned to my mother and smiled, all consideration.

"And you don't have to move out either, ma'am."

"Country folk might carry lice, but that's easy enoughjust have someone come by a few times a day to disinfect. I'm really not that delicate."

My mother's face flushed scarlet in an instant.

She twisted the hem of her shirt, fumbling to say that she wasn't dirty.

But she looked down at her rain-soaked shoes and socks, and could only bow her head, helpless.

Max's eyes turned on me with even more disappointment.

"Look at Debbie. She's the one being wronged, and she's still speaking up for you."

"Now look at yourself. One small thing and you're dragging your mother off to run away from home."

"Vivien, when did you become so unreasonable?"

He was the one who'd abandoned my mother on the side of the road.

Yet somehow I was the unreasonable one.

In this house that was never mine, everything my mother and I did was wrong.

"Fine. Then let your reasonable Debbie stay and take care of you. My mother and I are moving out."

I took my mother's arm and moved to go around him.

Max's face darkened completely.

He grabbed my wrist and yanked me back, hard.

"Vivien, can you stop being so difficult!"

Pain twisted through my stomach.

My footing gave, and I nearly went down.

My mother, terrified, rushed over to shield me.

"Talk it out properly, please. Vivi's still sick."

She put herself between us, her voice pleading.

Then, almost pleading for his favor, she held out the insole to Max.

"Vivi told me specially to bring this to you."

"She's always thinking about you. She's just too shy to say so"

My mother was trying to bow her head and make the fight go away.

But Max was still in the grip of his temper.

He didn't even glance at the insole. He shoved her away, irritated.

My mother stumbled back two steps and slammed the back of her head into the coffee table.

A dull crack.

The living room went silent all at once.

She lay on the floor, not moving.

Blood seeped slowly out through her graying hair.

The insole, embroidered with a blessing, had fallen beside her.

Little by little, it was staining red.

Everyone froze.

Max stood rooted where he was, his fury draining into pure panic.

"I... I didn't mean to."

"I just bumped into her by accident..."

"Mom!"

I couldn't waste time arguing with Max. I had to get her to the hospital.

But my stomach twisted with cramp after cramp, my emotions too raw to hold down.

Max reached out to steady me, his voice finally tightening.

"Enough, don't talk about that now."

"You're not fully recovered yet. I'll drive you both to the hospital."

He bent down, lifted her into his arms, and strode toward the garage.

Her breathing grew fainter and fainter.

I wanted so badly to tell myself it would be fine, but my voice shook out of my control.

"Max, drive faster."

"She's the only family I have left. I can't lose her..."

Max glanced at the rearview mirror and, for once, softened his tone.

"Vivien, don't be scared."

"I've already called the hospital. Mom's going to be fine."

Would she really...

My nose stung, and just as I was about to speak, Max's phone rang.

Debbie's name flashed on the screen.

Max hesitated a moment, then answered anyway.

Debbie's voice came through at once, thick with tears.

"Max, I wanted to make some chicken soup and bring it to the hospital for your mom."

"But the pressure cooker just exploded, the kitchen's full of smoke, I'm so scared..."

Max tensed instantly.

"Are you hurt?"

"I think my hand got burned. I don't dare move, and there's this strange noise in the apartment. What if it blows up again?"

Max slammed on the brakes.

I nearly hit the seat in front of me and threw my arms around her head just in time.

"What are you doing? The hospital's right ahead!"

But Max acted as if he hadn't heard.

He swung the car around, his voice fast and clipped.

"Debbie's home alone. What if something happens to her?"

I lifted my head, unable to believe it.

"You can call building maintenance, you can call the police. Get Mom to the hospital first, she's dying!"

"Debbie's terrified. She can't get a word out on the phone. I have to go back and check."

My mother's life hung by a thread.

Debbie had only had a fright.

And Max still chose her.

He opened the car door and said it like it was the most reasonable thing in the world.

"Flag down a car on the side of the road and take Mom to the hospital."

"Once I've dealt with things at Debbie's, I'll come find you right away."

"Mom only bumped her head lightly, she'll be fine. But Debbie alone at home is really dangerous."

A few hours ago, this was exactly how he'd abandoned my illiterate mother.

Now he was abandoning us all over again.

I couldn't gamble with my mother's life.

I could only lift my head and stare hard at Max.

"Max, if you dare leave today, we're getting divorced."

The car went quiet.

Max's hands froze on the wheel.

In the end, he only let out a soft sigh.

"Vivien, stop being difficult."

"The hospital's right ahead. Flag a car and you'll make it."

"Debbie really can't do without me right now."

Then he shut the car door, turned around, and left.

Dust flew up.

The car pulled farther and farther away in front of me.

In that moment, I was certain.

My marriage to Max was over, completely.

Mom was slipping fast.

The blood from her head had soaked through my cuff, and her hand, warm at first, was going cold little by little.

I was frantic.

But the emergency line said there were no cars free nearby and told me to keep waiting.

Mom couldn't wait.

I turned, set my jaw, and dropped to my knees in the middle of the road.

Cars kept coming, one after another.

I could have split my forehead open on the ground and not one of them would stop.

In the end it was a kind couple who drove us to the hospital.

My clothes were already soaked through with blood.

But I didn't dare let up for a second.

The doctor looked at the results, his face grave.

"Bleeding inside the skull. She needs surgery right away."

"Any later and we may not be able to save her."

I forced myself upright long enough to sign the consent form, then ran with the papers to pay the fees, get the blood, admit her.

My stomach hurt like someone was wringing it out from the inside.

Every step I took, everything went black for a moment.

A nurse saw me bracing myself against the wall and couldn't help asking.

"Hey, aren't you the patient who was admitted yesterday for a stomach bleed? What are you doing over here?"

"Where's your family? How can they let you run around alone like this?"

I looked down at my own signature in the family box on the form and gave a small shake of my head.

"I don't have any family."

Max had abandoned me, again and again.

The light above the operating room came on.

I sat on the long bench, Mom's blood still on my palms.

My phone buzzed all at once.

Debbie had posted something.

"Some kinds of love never need to be said out loud."

In the photo she was wearing my pajamas, lying in the bed I shared with Max.

Only a small square of gauze on her wrist.

Max sat on the edge of the bed, head bent, blowing on a spoonful of chicken soup, feeding it to her one spoon at a time.

I stared at that photo for a long time.

Those pajamas were what Max had given me on our wedding anniversary.

He'd said the color suited me, and that no one but me was allowed to wear them.

That spoon was one we'd made together on our honeymoon.

He'd said it was a memory that belonged only to us, something to keep for a lifetime.

And now he'd forgotten all of it.

The tears fell down my cheeks one drop at a time.

I clenched my teeth and called Max.

It rang a long time before anyone picked up.

The voice on the other end was Debbie's.

"Vivi, are you looking for Max?"

I could faintly hear water running in the bathroom.

Debbie gave a soft little laugh.

"He worked up such a sweat just now, taking care of me."

"He's in the shower now. Was there something you needed? I can pass it along."

She said it so easily, so suggestively.

As if it were her bedroom, her husband.

I gripped the phone, but my voice came out strangely calm.

"I want a divorce."

The line went quiet for a few seconds.

Then Debbie laughed.

There was a smugness in her tone she couldn't quite hide.

"Vivi, are you still upset about what happened with your mom?"

"Max said he only bumped into her, just barely. She lost her footing on her own. You can't blame anyone for that."

I didn't want to hear it.

I looked at the sealed doors of the operating room and said it slowly, one word at a time.

"Tell Max I'll be waiting for him at the county clerk's office at nine tomorrow morning."

"If he doesn't show, I'll make him pay for it my own way!"

Debbie didn't agree to anything.

She paused for a moment, then burst out laughing.

"Vivien, don't talk so big."

"There's something... you still don't know, is there?"