Only Desolation Remains Beneath the Setting Abbott

To close a deal for April Henson, I drank until my stomach was bleeding.

When my mother back home heard, she sat on a train for more than ten hours through the night just to come see me.

Her legs are bad, and she can't read.

I couldn't stop worrying, so I could only ask April to go pick her up.

April agreed to everything. Then she went and never came back.

I called more than a dozen times. I sent hundreds of messages.

Not a single reply.

I was terrified something had happened to them on the road, sick with worry.

I was about to call the police.

Then her assistant suddenly sent me a message.

"Owen Pruitt, stop calling, okay? April's here keeping me company."

I froze for a second, my fingers stiff as I opened the photo Elmer James had sent.

In it, April was with Elmer at the Hillcrest Hotel, watching the sunset.

The evening glow settled over them, the very picture of quiet contentment.

My mother and I had long since been forgotten, thrown to the back of her mind.

1.

By the time I found my mother, it was already noon the next day.

The soles of her shoes were worn straight through, her heels raw and bloody.

But the moment she saw me, she couldn't help smiling.

"Owen, you're all right. Now I can stop worrying."

She gave an awkward little laugh and hid her injured hand behind her back.

"I'm old, no use to anybody."

"April told me the way a few times, and I still couldn't remember it. I made you all worry."

Then she carefully opened the cloth bundle she was holding.

"This is for April. She left in such a rush yesterday, there wasn't time to"

"She's out running around all day. High heels wear her feet out. With these insoles, she'll be more comfortable."

Her own feet had blistered and bled.

Yet she'd kept that pair of insoles spotless.

The ache in my chest was hard to bear.

I didn't know what to say. All I could do was take her home first.

April had come back from the hotel at some point.

She was sitting in the living room, drinking tea with Elmer.

When she saw the state my mother was in, her expression went stiff for an instant.

I thought she was embarrassed about leaving my mother on the road.

Instead, her eyes dropped to the carpet under my mother's feet.

"Elmer brought that back from overseas."

"A master craftsman's limited edition. It's worth a lot."

My mother started, then hurriedly lifted her feet.

"II didn't know."

"April, don't be angry. I'll clean it up right now."

My mother stumbled to her knees.

She didn't dare touch anything else in the house.

So she used her own sleeve, carefully wiping at the marks on the carpet.

The rainwater on her clothes bled into the fabric.

The faint stain only spread wider the more she rubbed.

My face dark, I pulled my mother back up.

"Mom, stop. It's just a carpet."

Her hand hung in the air.

Like a child who'd done something wrong, she glanced anxiously at April.

April's brow was still knit tight. Then she let out a helpless sigh.

"Forget it."

She stood and switched on the air purifier beside her.

She spoke lightly.

"Elmer's going to be staying here for a while."

"He hasn't been well lately. He can't handle mess and dirt."

"With your mother like this, it's easier if she stays at a hotel."

She glanced at Elmer, who was covering his nose, and pulled a stack of bills from her wallet, holding it out.

"I'll cover the hotel. Call it a little bit of filial piety from us, as her children."

The bright red bills were like a ringing slap.

Striking hard across my mother's face and mine.

My mother was so embarrassed she didn't know what to do. She could only force out a smile.

"How could I take your money? You're in the big city. It's not easy earning a living out here."

"I only came this time to check on Owen. He's all right, so I can rest easy now."

"There's the farm back home, someone has to look after the land. I won't be any trouble to you. I'll head back first thing tomorrow morning."

"Oh, that's right, these are from home, grown ourselves, no pesticides"

She bent down and opened her suitcase.

Like she was presenting treasure, she took the things out one by one.

I don't know when it started.

I bowed my head in this marriage.

And my mother followed me, bending her back lower and lower.

Until now, little by little, humbled all the way down into the dust.

Suddenly I remembered, not long ago, when April was short on money.

To support her, my mother had sold the house back home and put the three hundred thousand she'd scraped together into April's hands.

"April, don't worry. You still have me."

"Family has to pull together."

"As long as you and Owen can be happy, no matter how much I suffer, it's worth it."

Back then, she'd held herself straight, her face full of happy smiles.

She believed April would surely make something of herself.

And she believed her own son would surely find happiness.

Now April really had built a career.

But in this home, there was no longer any place for me and my mother.

I swallowed the ache in my chest and closed my mother's suitcase.

"Mom, we're leaving. Now."

She froze, then stole a cautious glance at April.

"Can't we go tomorrow morning? You're still not well"

"I'm going with you. We're not staying here to be treated like this."

At that, April frowned and stood up.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To find a hotel. If there's no room for the two of us here, then we'll leave together."

I took my mother's arm and steered her toward the door.

April stepped quickly in front of me and slammed her hand down on the suitcase.

"Owen, don't go."

Her voice was too urgent.

Urgent enough that, traitorously, my heart gave a small jolt.

Ten years of marriage.

And I couldn't help itI let myself hope she couldn't bear to lose me.

After a moment of silence, her tone softened.

"You just got out of the hospital. You're still recovering. Don't throw a tantrum."

My throat went tight. I was about to ask whether she still cared about me.

But she glanced at Elmer and kept talking.

"Elmer has a bad stomach. He can't handle your aunt's cooking."

"He's staying here for a while, so you need to stay and cook for him."

I stood there, as if someone had slapped me across the face.

I lifted my head, unable to believe it.

"You stopped me just so I'd wait on him?"

"Wait on him? What kind of word is that?"

April knitted her brows.

"You cook anyway. It's just one more pair of chopsticks at the table."

"Elmer just landed a partnership for the company, and his health isn't good. What's wrong with looking after him for a few days?"

Something twisted hard in my stomach.

My teeth were shaking.

"That partnershipI drank until my stomach bled to close it."

"What did he do?"

April opened her mouth to argue and found she had nothing to say.

She could only fall back on, "Elmer was the one who signed it in the end."

"Without him to close it out, all the drinking you did up front would've been worthless."

A contract I'd signed with my own body.

And in April's heart, it counted for less than one offhand sentence from Elmer.

I clenched my fists and said nothing more.

Then Elmer spoke up from the side.

"April, don't fight with Owen over me."

"Owen just got out of the hospital. He should be resting."

"It's no big deal. I can eat out, or just have instant noodles every day."

Then he looked at my mother, feigning consideration.

"Auntie doesn't need to move to a hotel either."

"Country folk might carry lice, but that's fine as long as we bring someone in to disinfect a few extra times a day."

"I'm not that particular."

My mother's face went red in an instant.

She fidgeted, twisting the hem of her shirt, wanting to say she wasn't dirty.

But looking down at her rain-soaked shoes and socks, all she could do was lower her head, helpless.

The look April gave me turned even more disappointed.

"Look at Elmer. He's the one being insulted, and he's still speaking up for you."

"Then look at you. One little thing and you want to run off with your mother."

"Owen, when did you become so unreasonable?"

She was the one who'd dumped my mother on the roadside and driven off.

Yet somehow I was the unreasonable one.

In this house that had never been mine, everything my mother and I did was wrong.

"Fine. Then let your reasonable Elmer stay and look after you. My mother and I will move out."

I took my mother's hand and moved to go around her.

April's face went completely dark.

She grabbed my wrist and yanked me back, hard.

"Owen, stop being difficult, would you!"

Pain wrenched through my stomach.

My footing gave out, and I almost fell.

My mother was terrified. She rushed over to shield me.

"Talk it out nicely, please. Owen's still sick."

She stood between us, pleading in her voice.

Trying to placate her, she held out the insoles to April.

"Owen told me specially to bring these to you."

"He's always thinking of you. He's just too shy to say it"

My mother was trying to bow her way out of the fight.

But April was still at the peak of her anger.

She didn't even look at the insoles. Irritated, she shoved my mother back.

My mother staggered two steps and slammed the back of her head against the coffee table.

A dull crack.

The living room went silent all at once.

She lay on the floor, not moving.

Blood seeped slowly out of her graying hair.

The insoles, embroidered with a wish for safety, had fallen beside her.

Bit by bit, they turned red with blood.

Everyone froze.

April stood rooted where she was, the anger on her face dissolving into pure panic.

"I... I didn't mean to."

"I only bumped her a little..."

"Mom!"

I scrambled to my mother's side, desperate to get her to a hospital.

My stomach was cramping in waves, wrung tight by the surge of emotion.

April reached out to steady me, and her voice finally tightened with nerves.

"Okay, don't say anything else right now."

"You're not fully recovered yet. I'll drive you both to the hospital."

She bent down and lifted my mother; I gritted my teeth and helped support her legs, and together we got her into the car.

Sitting in the car, everything churned inside me.

Mom's breathing was getting weaker and weaker.

I wanted so badly to tell myself it would be fine, but my voice still shook beyond my control.

"April, drive faster. Something's wrong with her."

"She's the only family I have left. I can't lose her..."

April glanced at the rearview mirror, and for once she softened.

"Owen, don't be afraid."

"I've already called the hospital. Mom's going to be fine."

Would she really...

I was about to speak when her phone suddenly rang.

Elmer James's name flashed on the screen.

April hesitated a moment, then pressed answer anyway.

Elmer's rushed voice came pouring out at once.

"April, I wanted to make some chicken soup and bring it to the hospital for Auntie."

"But the pressure cooker just blew up. The kitchen's full of smoke."

April went tense in an instant.

"Are you hurt?"

"My hand got burned. I don't think the gas is shut off either, and I don't dare go back in. It might still explode in there."

April slammed on the brakes.

I nearly hit the seat in front of me and threw my arms around Mom's head just in time.

"What are you doing? The hospital's right up ahead!"

But April acted as if she hadn't heard a word.

She swung the car around, her voice quick and urgent.

"Elmer's home alone. What if something happens to him?"

I stared at her, unable to believe it.

"You can call the building management, you can call the police. Get Mom to the hospital first, she's barely holding on!"

"Elmer's hurt, and he can't explain anything clearly over the phone. I have to go back and check."

Mom was hanging by a thread.

Elmer had only burned his hand.

And April still chose him.

She opened the car door and said it like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Flag down a car by the side of the road and get to the hospital."

"Once I've dealt with things on Elmer's end, I'll come find you right away."

"Mom only knocked her head lightly, it's nothing serious. But Elmer's home alone, and that's really dangerous."

A few hours ago, this was exactly how she'd abandoned my illiterate mother.

Now she was going to abandon us all over again.

I couldn't gamble with Mom's life.

I could only lift my head and stare hard at April.

"April, if you dare leave today, we're getting divorced."

The car went quiet.

April's hands froze on the steering wheel.

In the end, she only sighed softly.

"Owen, stop being difficult."

"The hospital's right ahead. Flag down a car and you'll be there in no time."

"Elmer really can't do without me right now."

Then she shut the car door, turned around, and drove away.

Dust kicked up in the air.

The car pulled farther and farther away in front of me.

In that moment, I was certain.

My marriage to April was completely over.

Mom was slipping fast.

The blood from her head had soaked through my sleeve, and the hand that had been warm was going cold, little by little.

I was frantic.

But the emergency dispatch line said there were no cars free nearby and told me to keep waiting.

Mom didn't have that kind of time.

I turned around, set my jaw, and knelt down in the middle of the road.

Cars kept passing, plenty of them.

I knocked my forehead against the pavement until it split, and still not one of them dared to stop.

In the end it was a kind couple who drove us to the hospital.

My clothes were already soaked through with blood, but I couldn't let myself ease up for a second.

The doctor looked at the test results, his face grave.

"Intracranial bleeding. She needs surgery immediately."

"Any later and we may not be able to save her."

I forced myself upright long enough to sign the surgery consent form, then ran with the paperwork to pay the fees, get the blood, admit her.

My stomach hurt like something was being wrung out of me.

Every step I took, my vision went black for a moment.

A nurse saw me bracing myself against the wall and couldn't help asking.

"Hey, aren't you the patient who was admitted yesterday for a stomach bleed? What are you doing here?"

"Where's your family? You can't be running around alone like this."

I looked down at my own signature in the family box on the form and gave a small shake of my head.

"I don't have any family."

April Henson had abandoned me again and again.

The light over the operating room came on.

I sat on the long bench, my palm still smeared with Mom's blood.

My phone suddenly buzzed.

Elmer James had posted something new.

"Some kinds of love never need to be spoken out loud."

In the photo, he was wearing my pajamas, lying in the bed April and I shared.

A small square of gauze was taped over his wrist.

April sat on the edge of the bed, head bent, blowing on a spoonful of chicken soup and bringing it to his mouth, one spoonful after another.

I stared at that photo for a long time.

Those pajamas were what April had given me on our wedding anniversary.

She said the color suited me, and that no one else was allowed to wear them but me.

That spoon was one we'd made together on our honeymoon.

She said it was a memory that belonged only to us, something to treasure our whole lives.

But now she'd forgotten all of it.

Staring at the photo, I felt the veins on the back of my hand draw tight, one by one.

Jaw clenched, I dialed April's number.

It rang for a long time before someone finally picked up.

But the voice that came through was Elmer's.

"Owen, are you looking for April?"

Faintly, I could hear running water from the bathroom.

Elmer let out a soft little laugh.

"She was just taking care of me, worked up a real sweat over it."

"She's in the shower now. Is there something you need? I can pass it along for you."

He said it so easily, so suggestively.

As if that were his bedroom. His wife.

I gripped the phone, but my voice came out strangely calm.

"I want a divorce."

The line was quiet for a few seconds.

Then Elmer laughed.

There was a note of satisfaction in it he didn't bother to hide.

"Owen, are you still angry about what happened with your mother?"

"April says she only bumped into her lightly. Your mother lost her footing on her own. You can't blame anyone else for that."

I didn't want to hear any of it.

I looked at the sealed doors of the operating room and said it out, word by word.

"Tell April I'll be waiting for her at the county courthouse at nine tomorrow morning."

"If she doesn't show up, I'll make her pay for it my own way!"

Elmer didn't agree to anything.

He paused for a moment, then laughed, low.

"Owen, don't talk big."

"There's something you still don't know, is there?"