After Both Reborn, I Left the Harbor Lord for a Fisherman

1: 1

No one ever knew that the harbor magnate, the man whose name made people flinch, had been kept alive one fish at a time by me, an orphan girl from the fishing village who went out to the water every single day.

Back then he would cradle my face in his hands and say, with all the tenderness in the world:

"Fiona Sinclair, help me get my leg fixed. Once it heals, I swear I'll make something of myself on the docks. And when that day comes, I'll give you a home where you never have to worry again."

I was sick of living alone, so I clung to that promise and went out to sea day after day.

Wind or rain, I never once let myself rest.

Because I knew that if I didn't go out, Jonathan Vance could run out of money and stop his treatment at any time, and stay crippled for the rest of his life.

Later he became the magnate of the docks, and I became the woman everyone politely called "the magnate's wife."

Antiques, paintings, gold, jewelry, everything you could imagine.

And in all our decades of marriage, he never once shared a bed with me.

I became the joke of the whole harbor city, the old virgin.

Before he died, Jonathan gripped my wrist and confessed:

"Fiona, I know I never wronged you in this life. I kept every promise I made to you. But what I feel for you is gratitude, not love."

"If there's a next life, don't save me again. I want to reach this position on my own, and then spend it with someone I actually love."

When I opened my eyes again, I was eighteen, watching a boy fighting a dog for scraps of food.

...

The sea wind was salty and sharp.

But it couldn't cover the thick smell of blood.

One of the boy's legs had been bitten open, the flesh torn and raw.

I was holding out a bowl of fish soup toward him.

In my last life, this bowl of soup was what kept Jonathan from going hungry.

To repay me, he'd followed me home, washed my dishes, swept my floors.

I was no longer alone. I had him.

I just never imagined it would become the chain that bound him later.

An eagle is meant to fly free. How could I bear to break his wings?

Living it all again, I had just started to draw the fish soup back.

But Jonathan pushed my hand away himself.

The scalding soup left the back of my hand red.

In my last life, he'd have caught my hand at once, aching with concern.

But the boy in front of me only watched me, calm, those upturned eyes holding a whole summer's worth of stars.

"Thank you for your kindness, but I can feed myself with my own two hands."

"This is goodbye for good." His voice was flat.

He looked away and limped off down the road, stubborn as ever.

I knew he'd been reborn too.

A few steps in, the boy collapsed.

I only stood where I was, watching that thin figure.

I thought, in this life, letting our paths split like this wasn't so bad after all.

By the time I looked up again, Julia Butler, who lived next door to me, was helping Jonathan home.

The next day, firecrackers cracked across the sky.

The whole village had gathered outside the house beside mine.

I wandered over to see what the fuss was about.

The one everyone was crowded around was Jonathan.

He was dressed neatly, black trousers making his legs look long.

A small, delicate woman stood beside him. It was Julia.

"I got lucky yesterday and picked up a handsome boy."

"Today I'd like all of you to bear witness."

"My Julia and Jonathan are officially together now. This afternoon we're going to register the marriage."

The villagers clapped and pressed the couple for red envelopes, wanting a bit of the good luck.

I tugged at the corner of my mouth.

In my last life, Jonathan lived under the same roof as me, an orphan girl, for three whole years.

Out there my name was mud.

I'd brought up registering our marriage to him.

He didn't agree and didn't refuse. He only said to wait, that I was too young.

It was only later, when he raised the matter of treating his leg, that he registered with me.

So love and no-love really were as clear-cut as that.

I just never imagined it was Julia he wanted.

In the fishing village, Julia and I were neighbors, both orphan girls, and we'd kept each other warm through plenty of hard days.

So when I became the magnate's wife, I took Julia with me and kept her at my side as my housekeeper.

Julia was right under my nose for decades, and Jonathan still managed to hold back and never contact her.

No wonder his eyes were so full of regret when he looked at me before he died.

In this life, I'm giving him back to Julia.

And I'm curious too. I want to see how Jonathan reaches his old position on his own.

2: 2

Across the crowd, Jonathan found my eyes at once.

For a moment we looked at each other. Then he pulled his gaze away.

Something seemed to strike him. He took Julia's hand and said,

"Jules, everyone from the village happens to be here today. There's something I want to say to you."

"One of my legs is ruined. I was hoping you'd help me get it treated."

"I won't just eat and drink off you for free. I'll work for it."

Julia hadn't expected any of this from him, and she hesitated.

Julia wasn't like me.

I carried a longing for a family in my heart. Julia only looked out for herself.

"Trust me, Jules. I'll become the harbor magnate of Harborport, and I'll give you a rich life."

"I'm not taking this money for nothing. Call it a loan."

"From now on I'll go out to sea with you. I'll help you make money."

At the word sea, Julia's eyes lit up.

"You can dive for sea catch too?"

She'd seen the catch I pulled up and sold at the docks. It was worth good money.

Jonathan nodded, those starlit eyes fixed on Julia with open indulgence.

A look I'd never once seen in my past life.

We were courteous as strangers, and yes, he could feel sorry for me.

But that look was never the kind of love between two people who wanted each other.

Julia said yes, and the whole of her sprang up and hung off Jonathan's waist.

"Jon, I believe you. Let's go into town, quick, and get the marriage registered, so you'll be mine and no one else's."

Jonathan only drank it in. He bent his head, and one pale hand stroked gently over Julia's hair.

In my past life, when Jonathan cooked in the kitchen, I loved to wrap my arms around him from behind.

He never pushed me away. He'd just mock me, sneering that a grown woman shouldn't act so childish.

Given enough time, I actually came to believe he was cold by nature.

I didn't linger. I turned, took the boat out, and went to bring in a catch.

That afternoon I came back with a full load, and ran into Julia and Jonathan holding their little red marriage booklet.

Jonathan didn't notice me. He was grinning like a fool at the booklet in his hand.

In my past life I'd looked just like that.

Except when he'd held our booklet, the smile in his eyes ran deep and heavy, nothing like this clean, pure joy, this face that held nothing but the longing to be married.

Julia called out a greeting to me.

Only then did Jonathan tuck the booklet away, lift his lids, and glance at me.

We were headed the same way, so we walked together.

I walked behind.

Jonathan and Julia went ahead, hand in hand.

Jonathan walked with a limp, quickening his pace to keep up with Julia.

I knew about the injury to his leg.

He couldn't walk too fast. The scabbed-over wound would split open again.

In my past life, if I walked even a little too fast, Jonathan would sulk and say I wasn't waiting for him, and then wait for me to come coax him out of it.

He was easy to coax. For a while I believed he was only easy to coax with me.

But it turned out he could do without the coaxing too.

Now he kept step by step with Julia, and didn't even dare say it hurt.

The sun was too harsh. Jonathan lifted his jacket and tucked Julia snugly under his arm, shading her completely.

His arm was strong, the line of it smooth and fine.

In my past life, out at sea, I'd wanted Jonathan to shield me from the sun with his arm.

He did. But he was careless in the end, and the sun came through the gaps. Shielded or not, it made no difference.

Back then I comforted myself. A man's heart just isn't as fine-tuned as a woman's, I thought.

That evening, Julia and Jonathan came together to borrow my boat.

Around this time in my past life, on a lone little island I'd come across a whole stretch of sea worms and sold them for a good sum.

Jonathan must have wanted to try his luck.

But those sea worms, I'd already taken in and sold that afternoon.

Jonathan was afraid I wouldn't lend the boat to him.

"Miss, if you'd be willing to lend it to me, how about I give you forty percent of the haul when I come back with a full load?"

Julia had no objection.

I'd lent her the boat plenty of times before.

She had at least that much grace in her.

I lent them the boat.

Jonathan gave Julia a kiss.

"Don't worry. We'll make our first pot of money soon, and once my leg heals, our life will only get better and better."

Julia's eyes curved with her smile.

"Once we've made the money, I'll get your leg fixed."

Watching him press that tender kiss to another woman's forehead, something in me turned bitter.

But soon enough my family would find me, and then I'd leave the fishing village for good.

3: 3

Jonathan always believed I'd tied him to me for life with a debt of gratitude.

What he never imagined was that his own words, "I'll give you a stable home," would become the chain that bound the rest of my life too.

In all those years in the fishing village, every single day I longed for a family.

I'd grown up in that village from the time I was small. My adoptive parents went out to sea one day when I was very young, and the vast ocean swallowed them forever.

It was the villagers who raised me, all of them pitching in, bit by bit.

By sixteen I was going out to sea myself, making my own living.

But the house was too quiet. There was no one in it to talk to.

When the thunder rolled and the typhoons came, I faced them alone.

Make the smallest sound and the whole house echoed it back at me.

Jonathan was the first family I ever had. More than that, he was the man I loved.

In two days, my family would come to the fishing village looking for me.

But in my last life, because of that promise of his, I gave up going home.

I wanted a stable home with Jonathan.

I wanted to be his right hand, to soar beside him like an eagle.

He gave me a stable home.

And carried another woman in his heart the whole time.

Jonathan came back from the sea the next day.

The whole village crowded around him.

He came limping down off the boat, hunched and shamefaced.

From a distance I could already hear Julia's cursing.

"Didn't you say you'd definitely bring back a haul? How is there nothing on that island?"

"And here I lost a whole night's sleep dragging out there with you for nothing."

"You bring back no money, then forget about getting your leg fixed!"

Jonathan panicked at once, reaching carefully for Julia's hand.

"Jules, I'll go back out alone this afternoon. Trust me, I'll bring back something good, I swear."

Julia's face went vicious, and she knocked his hand away.

"Fine. I'll give you one more chance."

Then she stormed off.

The villagers didn't hang around for the rest of the show. They drifted away.

Only Jonathan and I were left.

He seized my shoulders hard, his eyes bloodshot.

"You took all the sea worms yesterday afternoon, didn't you?"

"Fiona, you were reborn too, weren't you?"

He shook me until my shoulders ached, and I couldn't hold back a small groan.

Something shifted in his eyes, and he let go.

"I'm sorry. I hurt you."

In my last life we were polite to each other, courteous as guests, never anything you'd call in love.

But whenever I got hurt by accident, he'd feel awful about it for a long time, out of duty.

Seeing him ache for me again, all I felt was summer sunlight wrapped in snow, cold to the bone.

He looked at me with anger in his eyes, his tone sharp with accusation.

"We were husband and wife in our last life. Those sea worms matter to me. The least you could do is leave me some."

I pulled at my pale lips.

"Didn't you say you'd climb back to where you were last time on your own?"

"I found these. If you really want to do it on your own, then rely on your own ability."

Jonathan's eyes went wide, as if he'd never expected me to speak to him like this.

Then something seemed to click for him.

"Fi, are you angry that I didn't choose you this time?"

"Don't worry. We were husband and wife once. When I've taken that position, I'll find you a good husband."

"By then you can come to the villa and look after Jules, and you'll never want for anything the rest of your life."

He wanted to take me with him, the way I'd taken Julia with me in my last life.

I shook my head.

"I'm not going with you."

I was going back to the Sinclairs, back to my mother and father.

Jonathan just took it as a joke.

"All right, whatever you say."

"For now, split some of the money from the sea worms with me. I need it for my leg."

I refused flat out.

Jonathan flared up on the spot.

"You just want to use those sea worms to force me to choose you again, don't you?"

"I've made it perfectly clear, I don't love you. Just treat it as a loan. Once I've made it, I'll pay you back a hundred times over, a thousand times over."

He actually thought I wanted to use money to force him to choose me again.

But this time, I was the one who didn't want him.

And he would never become the harbor magnate again.

4: 4

Jonathan opened his mouth to say something more, but hurried footsteps came up behind him.

"I told you to give back the boat and you drag your feet. Do you still want that leg treated or not?"

Julia came over, thanked me, then took hold of Jonathan and pulled him away.

What I hadn't expected was that Julia really did take Jonathan to the old country doctor.

But once she'd paid the consultation fee, she had no money left for food.

At noon she still came to borrow a fish off me to get by.

Jonathan wasn't so lucky, though.

He stood at my door on an empty stomach, seeming to wait for me to lend a hand.

I didn't spare him a glance. I kept eating the fish soup I'd made.

In the afternoon, when I came back from the sea, heavy rain was falling over the docks.

Jonathan happened to be out at the shoreline in a wide straw hat, gathering seafood.

Seeing me soaked through, he pulled an umbrella from his back basket and held it out to me.

It wasn't as if I'd never sheltered under an umbrella he offered in my past life, but this life was different now, after all.

When Herbert Weiss's umbrella came over me again, I didn't push it away.

Herbert had always liked me. Before I ever met Jonathan, every time it rained he would stand at the shore with an umbrella, waiting for me.

The first time we shared an umbrella, Herbert was nervous.

The cover of it wrapped around me completely.

Herbert was tall, and half his body was left out in the rain.

But he was smiling.

That, I suppose, is what liking someone looks like.

In my past life Jonathan would hold an umbrella over me too, but his face never showed anything, and he never spoke.

Then Jonathan lost his temper over something. He threw the umbrella to the ground and kicked it away.

I glanced back at him.

He was crouched sullenly nearby, still searching for seafood.

I knew what he was looking for.

In my past life he always resented how slowly his leg healed, how he couldn't ease my burdens.

To help him get his confidence back, I'd secretly buried a top-grade strand of golden sea willow out on the water beforehand.

I nearly gave my life getting it when I went diving.

One strand was worth ten thousand dollars.

This life, I had the golden sea willow, but I wasn't going to give it to him.

Back home, Herbert went ahead and stewed me a bowl of hot fish soup.

"You're soaked through. Have some, warm yourself up."

Herbert was a good man. When I was little and never had enough to eat, he'd often save me a share of his own food.

Later, when I started diving, he taught me plenty about gathering seafood.

All these years he'd stayed at my back and never let me suffer the smallest wrong.

I asked him,

"Herb, my parents are coming to find me. When that time comes, will you be willing to leave with me?"

Herbert looked a little stunned.

"You're willing?"

He'd watched over me since we were children. There was no one more fitting to marry.

I nodded.

Herbert caught me up and spun me around a few times.

I was still happy about it when the sound of a bowl smashing came from next door.

Julia was shouting.

"To treat that leg of yours, I took out every dollar my parents left behind."

"You kept promising you'd give me a good life. Since we got married, I can't even keep myself fed."

"Don't bother treating your leg anymore."

Jonathan's pleading rang all the way through my house.

Not long after, Julia came again to borrow meat.

She pushed the door open, clapped a hand over her face and stared at me and Herbert in shock, gasping,

"You, you two are together?"

Julia smiled that simple, guileless smile of hers.

"I always said Herb was honest and good-natured, and he can earn a living. He's the most fitting man to build a life with."

The hurried footsteps outside came closer and closer.

The next second, with a bang, the front door was kicked open with force.

"Fiona Sinclair, you wouldn't dare!"