My Son Sought His Father Missing Eighteen Years; I Agreed, Why Regret

The son I broke my back raising hated me for eighteen years.

All because his father had been missing for eighteen years, and though I sat on a fortune worth tens of millions, I refused to go looking for him.

He scored a near-perfect result on his SATs, and his only wish was to apply to the National Defense Institute of Technology. Instead I changed his applications and put down an ordinary school for him.

On the very day he was to sit his civil service exam, I locked him in the house, so that his whole life would bend only to the plans I made for him.

Later my son turned strangely obedient, carrying out every task I set for him beautifully, and that put my heart at ease.

Until I fell ill and needed surgery, and he emptied the company accounts to go find his biological father, unwilling to spare a single cent for me.

I couldn't understand why finding his father had such a grip on him. I only begged him to hand over the money first so I could have the operation.

He only smiled, mocking:

"You think giving me a rich life is the same as loving me?"

"Fine, you blocked everything I ever wanted, my dreams, my career. But you wouldn't even help me find my own father."

"Do you have any idea how pitiful it is to grow up without a dad?"

"And you lied to me that he was dead. If that's true, then go down there and keep him company. You've lived long enough anyway. Why waste money on surgery?"

That night I died, because no one treated me in time.

When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day of my son's birthday.

Faced with his wish to find his biological father, I smiled and agreed. "Sure!"

Later, though, he came to me in tears, saying he regretted it, begging me to keep him in line.

1.

My son, Austin Matthews, hadn't caught what I said and went on, sullen:

"It's my birthday. Can't you even grant me one wish, to look for my real father?"

Then it registered that I'd already said yes, and his eyes filled with joy.

But he blinked, and what showed through was only impatience and disgust.

"What's your game today?"

"Pretend to agree first, then do everything you can to stop me, is that it?"

"Or are you going to help me find him, and then lie to me that he died years ago?"

I froze for a second, almost thinking Austin had been reborn the way I had.

Then I saw the unhidden edge in him, all the raw sharpness of a teenager, none of the deep, buried cunning that would come later, and I relaxed.

I couldn't blame him for suspecting me, because in my last life that was exactly what I'd done.

At first, when I showed him his father's grave, he wouldn't accept it either. He fought me over it for a long time.

Only much later did he have no choice but to accept the "truth" I'd let him see.

After that Austin turned calm and steady too, and I thought he'd finally understood the pains I'd taken, that he'd grown up.

It was only in the moment I was driven to my death on that hospital bed that I finally understood. He had been acting from start to finish.

All those years, he had never stopped hating me for keeping him from his biological father.

So this time around, I would give him what he wanted. I only hoped he wouldn't come to regret today's decision.

I let a faint smile show. "Of course not. You're my only son. Your wishes are always mine to grant."

"It's just finding your father, not some crime. Of course it's fine."

Hearing that, Austin's expression finally softened a little.

For once he was willing to say a few extra words to me:

"Mom, why couldn't you have been like this from the start?"

"You kept it all so hidden, wouldn't let me look for my dad. Anyone who didn't know might think you'd done something to wrong him."

"Don't worry. Even if you really did wrong my dad, I'll beg him to forgive you. After all, you did put some effort into raising me."

At those words strange looks crossed the guests' faces, and a few even started to murmur.

"It's odd, really. Ms. Matthews dotes on this only son of hers more than anyone. Today, just so she could throw Austin a birthday party, she turned down a deal with Mr. Vance worth tens of millions without so much as a blink."

"But why has she always been so set against Austin finding his real father?"

"Could it be that his father is someone who can't be shown in the light?"

"Surely a powerhouse like Ms. Matthews didn't actually do something bad?"

I paid no mind to their guessing.

As a woman standing at the top of her industry, I'd heard talk like that until my ears were callused.

But hearing Austin's words clearly, I couldn't stop the sting that rose in my chest.

And at the same time, it felt absurd.

In my last life I took a hard line and refused him flatly, and under my authority he had no choice but to accept it.

Now that I'd shown him a little leniency, he took the inch I'd given and grabbed for a mile, and he dared to spin a filthy rumor about me.

Fortunately, I no longer had a shred of feeling left for him.

I looked at Austin and said with a bitter smile, "You overstate it. My contribution wasn't that great."

Thinking I was low, a friend I knew well tried to comfort me.

"There's no grudge between mother and son that lasts overnight. Austin's such a fine young man. He just got anxious and misspoke today."

"He came out of your own belly. How could he really stay angry at you?"

I gave a faint smile and shook my head, saying nothing.

The friend went on, regretful:

"Still, you spoil Austin too much. Mr. Vance was only ten minutes late and you wouldn't give him a chance at the partnership. Instead you came early to set up Austin's birthday party."

"You missed the chance to work with the Vance family. You really don't regret it?"

I shook my head again. "No. I do regret it."

I dialed, and the call connected quickly. "Mr. Vance, any interest in having dinner together?"

I looked at Austin, the center of every eye in the crowd.

He wanted to spread a filthy rumor about me, didn't he? Fine, I'd give him the chance. I just wondered whether he could handle it.

When the call ended, my friend reached over and felt my forehead, like she was checking something.

Then she said, still puzzled, "No fever, though. Tilda, you're not yourself today."

I laughed softly. "Aren't I?"

She nodded hard, laying it on thick. "Everyone in Metropolis City knows Austin is the apple of your eye, your whole heart."

"I mean, look at this birthday party. You started planning it more than six months out, and you came in to oversee it yourself."

"You even revised the guest list over and over before you settled it, all to smooth the way for Austin."

"And now you want to just leave Austin here and go have dinner with Mr. Vance? That's not like anything you'd do." I looked toward Austin at the center of the crowd, in a well-cut suit, poised and polished.

Even yesterday's near-perfect SAT score seemed to announce that he was fortune's favorite.

The guests even envied me for having such an outstanding son.

Only I knew the whole thing was an illusion.

I answered, "There's nothing impossible about it. I'm a businesswoman, after all."

Then I headed for the front door. Just before I reached it, Austin rushed out and grabbed my wrist.

His face was all accusation. "Where are you going?"

I shook his hand off, my tone flat. "To talk business."

Austin flared up at once. "Talk business?!"

"Do you know what today is? It's my eighteenth birthday party!"

"What business could matter more than me?"

I lifted my eyes. "Then what do you think I should be doing?"

Austin said it like he had every right to. "Aren't you supposed to introduce me to your business partners?"

"What?"

This time it was my turn to be stunned.

"Weren't you dead set on applying to the National Defense Institute of Technology? Why do you suddenly want to meet my business partners?"

"So now you're not saying I'm forcing you into the business world?"

In my last life, Austin lived off everything I gave him, yet he was always disgusted by the smell of money on me, forever failing to understand his own grand ambitions. Even his inheriting my company at the end had only happened because I pushed him into it. Was it possible he'd actually wanted my company all along?

Seeing me stare at him without hiding it, Austin's face went from red to white with humiliated anger.

But he was thick-skinned. He didn't dare admit what he really wanted, so he changed the subject.

He gave a snort. "I knew it. When you agreed just now to let me find my dad, it was all fake."

"So the rumors are true. You really did do something to wrong my dad, didn't you?"

"All these years, you couldn't face him because you were guilty, right?"

At this pressing, I froze. "What are you talking about?"

Instead of doubting it, Austin only grew more convinced of his own theory.

The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. "Tilda Matthews, have you no shame?"

I blinked. If I hadn't heard my own name, I'd have thought he was cursing at someone else.

Right then, Mr. Vance's call came in.

Austin bristled even worse.

"Still calling it business? You're going off to meet your lover, aren't you?"

"Tilda Matthews, being this loose, how do you face my dad?"

Austin was making enough noise that plenty of people were looking over.

Even his classmates were asking what had happened.

I looked toward the crowd and shook my head to signal "it's nothing." They tactfully stopped asking, though they couldn't help stealing glances this way.

I drew a deep breath and told Austin there was no such thing.

He only got more worked up.

"If there's nothing, what are you explaining for?"

"You must have done something to wrong my dad. That's why he's refused to come home for eighteen years."

"Tell me, who is your lover?"

I nearly laughed from anger. It took me a long moment to find the words.

"You're sure you want to make a scene this ugly?"

Austin sneered.

"I'm not the one who did the shameful thing. What have I got to be embarrassed about?"

At that moment, a man walked in from outside.

The instant he saw me, he came over, thrilled, and pulled me into a hug. "Tilda, were you waiting here for me?"

Beside me, Austin went out of his mind. "Tilda Matthews, and you said you had no lover!"

The moment Austin said it, the guests were stunned.

"What, Ms. Matthews has a lover? And she actually threw herself into his arms in front of everyone. Shameless."

"I always said it. How could a woman build a business this big? Turns out it was her bedroom skills."

"Look at the way that man's dressed. Clearly worth a fortune. Sleep with a few like him and you've got money and power both, don't you?"

But when they finally got a clear look at the man's face, every expression changed.

"What? The lover is Mr. Vance!"

"No wonder the Matthews business does so well. With the Vance family, one of Metropolis City's giants, looking after her, how could she not thrive?"

I slipped out of Julian Vance's arms and studied each face carefully, reading every reaction.

The guest list was one I'd revised again and again, and even when Austin lost his mind just now, I didn't stop him. I wanted to see exactly which people I could cut from future dealings.

And now I had my answer.

Austin took my silence as an admission.

His eyes went red with fury. "Tilda Matthews, are you so desperate for a man you've lost your mind?"

"So impatient you had to pull something this filthy at my birthday party?"

A low voice cut in. "Who gave you permission to talk to her that way?"

The next instant, a heavy slap landed across Austin's face, five red finger-marks blooming on his cheek at once.

The guests froze.

"The always-refined Mr. Vance actually hit someone for Ms. Matthews. Tell me those two aren't involved, who'd believe it?"

"No wonder Austin's father won't come back. A pair of horns that big and that hard, who'd want to come home to that?"

I pressed my temple, thinking of tomorrow's headlines, and felt a dull ache spreading across my forehead.

Austin didn't grasp for a second that he'd done anything wrong. He was still demanding answers from me.

"Tilda Matthews, you actually let him hit me?"

"All my life, you never once said a harsh word to me."

"And today, you let your lover strike me."

"Do you even see me as your son anymore?"

I closed my eyes. I really wanted to say one word. Never.

At the same time, a doubt surfaced. Austin was this insufferable, this begging to be smacked, and somehow I'd held my hand all these years. How?

I sighed, and finally spoke. "Do you have any idea how good the Vance family's legal team is?"

Austin blanked for a second. "What?"

For once, I explained. "You slander Mr. Vance like this, do you know what a lawsuit would cost you?"

Austin wasn't having it. "Which part did I get wrong? You two were wrapped around each other. Are you telling me there's nothing between you?"

At that, Julian Vance laughed.

"What Tilda and I are to each other is none of your business."

Austin didn't answer. Instead, eyes bloodshot, he grabbed my wrist and roared from the pit of his throat.

"Tilda?!"

"So familiar, so intimate. Is that what he calls you in bed too?"

"Tell me. Behind my father's back, exactly how many men have you had?"

I couldn't hold back anymore. My hand cracked across Austin's twisted face.

I was so furious I could barely get the words out. "I really regret"

"Regret what?" Austin cut in. "Regret not cleaning up your filthy affairs so I wouldn't have to see it with my own eyes? Regret that I said it out loud?"

"What, Tilda Matthews? So even you can feel ashamed?"

"Even you can lose it out of embarrassment?"

"When you were doing all these disgraceful things, why didn't you think about me? Why didn't you think about my dad!"

"If it weren't for what you did, why would my dad have refused to come back for eighteen years!"

Against his shouting, I only shook my head, my voice very quiet.

"What I regret is choosing you as my child."

Austin fired back at once. "If I had a choice, I'd rather go with my dad than stay with you."

"With a mother who's a party girl like you, who wouldn't be ashamed!"

As if to confirm his words, whispers rose all around.

"Ms. Matthews may be brilliant in business, but everyone's heard about her reputation with men."

"You can't even blame the boy for saying that. With a mother tangled up with one man after another, who could stand it?"

"And Mr. Vance has a wife and a child. For Ms. Matthews to go throwing herself at him as the other woman, that's beyond shameless."

"I hear Mr. Vance's wife is a Galloway of Metropolis City, and famously not someone to cross. If she found out, Matthews Group probably wouldn't survive till tomorrow."

The words had barely settled when a sharp voice carried in from beyond the door.

"Julian Vance, do you have a death wish!"

I followed the sound. Mr. Vance's wife, Zoe Galloway, walked in.

Gasps went around the room. "Ms. Matthews is finished now. The real deal's here. Matthews Group is going under tonight."

Even Austin looked ready to enjoy the show.

"Don't blame me for calling her here. You did something to wrong these people, so you deserve to be taught a lesson."

"As your son, I just don't want you sinking deeper into it."

I caught on fast. "You called Zoe Galloway here?"

Austin put on that look of doing it all for my own good. "Mom, you've raised me all these years, it wasn't easy. So why couldn't you just be a decent mother instead of always getting tangled up with other men?"

"Someone like you won't understand you're wrong until you suffer for it. Once Mr. Vance's wife has taught you a lesson, you'll finally be scared enough to see it."

"And then I'll be able to bring my dad back."

That stunned me even more. "So you smeared me, you ruined my name today, just to bring your dad back?"

"What else?" Austin threw at me. "You cover everything up. How am I ever supposed to find my dad?"

I spoke slowly, one word at a time. "So it doesn't matter to you if Matthews Group, the company I built with my own hands, gets destroyed?"

"From what you're saying today, you weren't going to give it to me anyway. So what does it matter to me whether Matthews exists?"

Then he looked at me, gloating. "Do something wrong and you pay for it. Mom, you'll just have to take it in a minute."

I turned to look elsewhere. Zoe Galloway was walking toward me.

Austin was still talking. "When she hits you in a minute, don't make a scene. It's all what you deserve."

Zoe stopped in front of me and looked at me for a long moment.

"Tilda Matthews, what's the meaning of summoning only Julian Vance?"

"What? Now that you're looking at me, you've got nothing to say?"

I didn't answer.

Instead it was Austin who played the "good guy," rushing to "explain" on my behalf.

"Mrs. Vance, please forgive my mom. She didn't mean to wreck your marriage."

"She really knows she was wrong now."

Zoe raised her hand high

I closed my eyes, not wanting to watch.

"You shameless little wretch!"

The next second, a hard slap landed with perfect aim across Austin's face.