The Prettiest Words Are Last, the Ugliest Are Vows

On the way out of the tomb, a cloud of toxic miasma rose up out of nowhere.

My boyfriend, Harvey Delgado, grabbed our friend's hand on instinct and pulled her clear to safety.

But my eyes had been poisoned, and I was trapped in the fog, unable to find the way out.

Harvey's voice came from somewhere far off. "Sabrina Whitlock, go west. West is safe. We'll wait for you at the exit."

But the miasma only grew thicker on the west side.

I don't know how long it took before I stumbled my way out.

When Silvia Harding saw me, she smiled and marked an exit on the map.

"So the west chamber really does have an exit."

"All thanks to you, Sabrina. My exploration guide is finally finished."

I stood frozen where I was. So he had sent me the wrong way on purpose.

"Do you have any idea? I almost died in there."

Harvey frowned, impatient. "I just asked you to scout a route. What's there to milk for sympathy?"

He took Silvia's hand as he spoke. "Come on. It's dangerous here."

Watching them walk away, it all came clear to me. He had known everything.

The only one in any danger was me.

I looked down at the dark-red veins slowly spreading across my hands, and let out a bitter laugh.

"My life. Don't you care about that anymore either?"

1.

Harvey didn't come home until deep in the night.

When he saw me sitting on the couch with the lights on, he stiffened, expecting me to throw a fit the way I used to.

"What are you going to make a scene about now? I'm exhausted today. I don't have the patience for you."

It was a long moment before I spoke, softly.

"Do you remember? Earlier this year I went to Cockcrow Chapel and prayed to every god and buddha there."

"The people there told me an ancient tomb can grant the wishes people never got to fulfill in this life."

I paused, and looked up at him.

"So I made the wish for you."

From the day I met him, I knew his dream was to become the finest explorer alive.

For the sake of that one wish, I forced down my own fear and went down into the tomb with him.

I was na?ve enough to believe that as long as my heart was sincere, everything I prayed for would come true.

But it turned out the other way. The end of the story didn't match its beginning.

Harvey sat across from me, pinching the bridge of his nose, worn out.

"What exactly are you trying to say?"

"If this is about making you scout the route today, I'm sorry. Can you please just stop acting crazy?"

I was silent for two seconds, then pulled my lips into a bitter, self-mocking smile.

"What if the route you pointed me to today hadn't led to an exit? What then?"

He blinked, his whole face nothing but impatience.

"But you did get out. Exploration is dangerous by nature, isn't it?"

I met his eyes and pressed down the sting rising in my nose.

"But when you love someone, you don't leave them standing in danger."

Once, when I went with him into the jungle and we passed through Vermin Gorge, he carried me the whole way on his back.

He knew I was afraid of insects, and he couldn't bear for me to come to the slightest harm.

But today, when the miasma rose, his first instinct was to protect Silvia.

He was even willing to send me toward an unknown abyss, just to draw one more exit onto her exploration guide.

He was the one who taught me to be brave, and he was the one who threw me into the dark.

"Harvey, I've seen what you look like when you love me."

"But the person you are now has changed."

Something complicated crossed Harvey's face. Before he could say anything, his phone rang, the ringtone he'd set just for Silvia.

He glanced at it and got up in a rush.

"Something urgent's come up. I have to go out. I won't be back tonight, so don't wait up."

"Harvey."

I called out to stop him. "Don't go. Please?"

It was the first time I had ever asked him to stay. It was also the last.

He stopped walking, but he didn't turn around.

"Stop it."

"In a while I'll take you to see the northern lights, your favorite."

And with that, he left without a backward glance.

I lowered my head and gave a bitter smile.

So even now, I still couldn't let him go.

But once a person is dead, I suppose they forget everything.

I spent the whole night turning through old texts, and found nothing that could cure it.

On my way to the hospital, everything went black, and I dropped to the ground.

When I woke again, I was already in a hospital bed, the thick smell of disinfectant filling my nose.

"You're awake?"

The nurse beside me was adding medicine into my IV line as she went through the instructions.

"You really don't take care of yourself. Pregnant, and still putting your body through all this."

I looked up, stunned, and grabbed her hand. "Really?"

The nurse nodded.

Why did it have to be now, when there was already something lethal inside me.

One dying, one living, both crammed together in this ruined body of mine.

I thought it over and over, and in the end I decided to tell Harvey.

But the moment I opened my phone, Silvia's post popped up.

In the photo, Silvia was training on a rock wall, no safety gear on her at all.

Beside her stood Harvey, ready every second to catch her.

I hesitated for two seconds, then made the call.

He picked up in the last instant before it would have cut off.

Harvey was breathing hard. I spoke first.

"Come see me. There's something I want to tell you."

He let out a heavy sigh. "Can't you give me a little privacy? I'm training, I don't have time for your fussing."

Even through the screen, I could picture the impatience on his face.

"What if I'm pregnant, what then?"

He clearly froze, and there was a trace of panic in his voice. "Sabrina, don't joke about that. We're traveling all over the country right now. It's no time to have a child."

"Besides, we used protection every time."

But he'd forgotten the time he was drunk.

Harvey liked chasing a thrill, and out on an expedition there were moments he couldn't hold back.

That night he'd been badly drunk, and I hadn't thought anything of it.

I stroked my belly gently and asked again. "And if it's true?"

The line was silent for a long while before he answered.

"Sabrina, you know I don't want it."

The words had barely left him when I faintly caught Silvia's smug voice.

"I've got Harvey protecting me. I'll never be afraid."

Those words used to be my pride, the thing I leaned on. Now they'd turned up in someone else's mouth.

I gave a bitter little laugh. "Fine. I understand."

I hung up and turned to the nurse.

"Could you schedule an abortion for me, please."

This body of mine wasn't going to hold out much longer anyway.

Better to let the child move on to its next life a little sooner.

I only pitied the child. In the end, it was I who had wronged him.

The surgery was over quickly. The anesthetic hadn't even fully worn off before my belly began to ache, a dull, spreading pain, my whole body stung as if pricked by needles of ice.

I dragged my exhausted body along, wanting to find a spot with sunlight.

Instead, the moment I stepped out, I ran straight into Harvey.

He was supporting Silvia as she limped out of the elevator.

When he saw me, his steps stopped, his face full of anger.

"You just had to follow us here and make a scene, so everyone's embarrassed, is that it?"

"On the phone you lied and said you were pregnant, and now you show up here. What are you trying to say?"

I stood frozen where I was, a breath lodged in my throat, unable to rise or fall.

Beside him, Silvia tugged at the hem of his shirt.

"Harvey, don't hold it against her. Sabrina's always been petty. It's normal she's still angry about yesterday."

She turned her head toward me, the corner of her mouth even curving into a smile.

"It's just, Sabrina, some things can be said any way you like behind closed doors, but out here, don't make a scene. Look how upset you've got Harvey."

Back and forth they went, each adding a line, both of them certain I was throwing another fit.

Not one of them spared a glance for the hospital gown on my body or the ghastly pale of my face.

I braced myself against the wall with one hand and forced out a smile.

"I'm not making a scene. I just don't feel well."

Only then did Harvey's gaze settle on me. "The wound on your hand still hasn't healed?"

He lifted my hand, then flinched at the red veins spreading from the wound.

"What happened to this?"

I stared at the infected patch, dazed. So he'd known about my wound all along. He just didn't care anymore.

"It got infected by something in the tomb."

Silvia, standing beside him, snorted out a laugh and started snapping photos from every angle with her phone.

"Sabrina really is an art student. She paints so well. Mutation veins, right? I almost believed it."

She put her phone away, hooked her arm through Harvey's, and tilted her head up at him.

"You actually let her little prank scare you. She said the wound came from the tomb on purpose, to make us feel guilty and make you feel sorry for her."

Silvia leaned into him again. "All right, Harvey, standing this long has made my leg hurt worse. Come see the doctor with me first."

The relief on Harvey's face was obvious as he let go of my hand.

"I still have to take Silvie to the doctor. If you don't feel well, go home. Stop dwelling on things that aren't real all day."

He turned to help Silvia, and as they passed me, she looked back and smiled at me.

As if to say, See? He chose me.

My lower belly cramped again, and I couldn't stop myself from doubling over a little.

So when he said he had no time, he only meant he had no time for me.

After I got home from the hospital, I drifted through the days in a haze, sleeping and waking, waking and sleeping.

In my dreams, everything between Harvey and me flickered past like a spinning lantern, over and over.

I knelt on the ground, unwilling to accept it, aching with the unfairness of it all.

But the moment I saw the gods and buddhas fill the sky, all at once I understood everything.

Some things were never meant to be mine.

Why cling to them.

When I woke, the tear tracks were still on my face.

I wanted to send Harvey a goodbye message, but the moment I unlocked the screen, abuse came pouring in from everywhere.

Silvia had posted the photos of the wound on my hand.

My bestie painted this herself, but she insists she got infected by something in the tomb and is going to mutate, hahaha. Any kind soul want to photoshop a picture for her and give her what she wants?

At the end of the post, she'd tagged my account.

I stared at the phone screen, my fingertips gone cold.

The comments under Silvia's post had already exploded.

This woman is such a drama queen. She's gone insane chasing attention. She'll even curse herself for it.

I heard she even lied to her boyfriend that she was pregnant. Disgusting.

If you ask me, she's jealous the blogger's getting close to her boyfriend and she's eaten up with resentment. A person like this is just wasting the air she breathes.

Some went even further, actually posting photos of monsters with my face AI'd onto them.

Over three thousand comments, and not one of them spoke up for me.

The hand holding the phone shook.

It wasn't until I scrolled all the way to the bottom that I found one anonymous warning.

There really is an ancient virus in that tomb. They say once you're infected you start to mutate, and if you don't get back into the tomb in time, the poison kills you.

But the replies beneath it were all abuse. No one believed it.

With a few offhand sentences, Silvia had turned the whole internet's malice onto me.

My inbox was flooded with private messages. Someone had even dug up my home address and phone number.

Even friends I knew sent me messages, asking if the person in the pictures was me.

I drew a deep breath and called Harvey.

"The photos Silvia posted, the whole comment section is tearing me apart. Can you get her to delete them?"

The line went quiet for a couple of seconds, then Harvey dropped his voice.

"All this over something so small? It's just one post. Since when do you care this much what other people think?"

My voice shook with anger. "There are over three thousand comments and every one of them is trashing me. Someone dug up my phone number, my address. You call that small?"

"Sabrina, can you please stop being so sensitive. Silvie was only joking. Besides, those marks on your hands really were something you painted on yourself."

My mouth opened, but something jammed in my throat.

"Make her take it down. Please. I'm begging you."

I didn't want to spend the last days I had left being harassed and cursed at every single day.

Harvey only sighed. "Silvie's post is getting a ton of traction. She's already gained twenty thousand followers. She can't delete it yet."

He hung up. I collapsed onto the bed in despair.

The red veins had already crept past my elbow, coiled around it like a snake.

That night, Harvey came home.

He walked in carrying my favorite cake.

It was his usual move. Whenever he made me angry, he'd use this to smooth things over.

He opened the box, scooped up a spoonful, and held it to my lips.

"What happened today was Silvie's fault. I'm apologizing to you on her behalf. But the result turned out fine in the end."

"Don't be angry anymore, okay?"

The cake tasted the same as it always had. I just didn't feel any of the old happiness after eating it.

He must have taken that as a yes. His eyes lit up with an excitement he couldn't hold back.

For once, he reached out and took my hand. "Sabrina, go pack your things. We leave first thing tomorrow for the South Reef."

I said nothing.

He paused, then added, "Silvie's followers are all begging for new content. We're going to update the exploration guide."

I froze for a second, a buzzing filling my ears.

I pulled my hand free and put a little distance between us. "You promised to take me to see the aurora. We never went."

Harvey's expression stiffened for a moment.

"Sabrina, you need to think about the bigger picture."

"It took forever for our account to finally get traffic. If we keep posting, it might bring us even bigger returns."

I met his eyes, and everything in them felt like a stranger's.

"That's Silvia's account. Not mine."

"If you want to update it, the two of you go. I can't."

He loosened his tie and drew a deep breath.

"Sabrina, this South Reef site is huge. Neither of us has your sense of direction."

"Last time you walked out of a place full of toxic miasma without a scratch. You've got more experience than either of us."

Harvey stared at me, waiting for my answer.

I turned to him and told him the truth. "I can't go. And I won't be going anywhere with you again."

At that he suddenly straightened up, his tone turning irritable.

"I've already explained everything about before. What more do you want."

"And Silvie is your best friend. If you can help her, why wouldn't you? When did you get so selfish?"

The truth was, I didn't want anything. I just had only a few days left to live.

I looked up at him and, all at once, I smiled.

"You're right. I can't seem to see through myself anymore either."

Then I turned and went back to the guest room. "Then I wish you a safe trip."

We would never see each other again.