After I Agreed to Marry, My Boyfriend's Amnesia Vanished

My boyfriend had a habit of losing his memory, and every time, he was sure my best friend was his girlfriend.

Whenever it happened, he'd do all the things couples dowith her.

Holding hands, hugging, kissing

To prove that I was the one he was dating,

I kept a whole archive on my phone: kissing photos, chat logs,

and videos of the people around us confirming we were the real couple.

Each time his memory came back, Cole Harding would pull me close with all the guilt in the world and drop to his knees, begging me to forgive him.

By the ninety-ninth time, Cole's memory finally held, and he arranged a whole proposal for me.

To keep him from relapsing, I followed quietly behind him the entire way.

Until I turned a corner and, by accident, overheard him talking to his friend Lambert Donaldson.

"In a bit I'm going to pretend I've lost my memory and propose to Nellie."

"Do me a solid and cover for me, man. Don't let her make a scene."

"But, Cole, you've already tricked Lindsay Swanson ninety-nine times. Isn't that enough?"

"If she really figures it out this time, you won't be able to walk it back."

The air went so still it felt frozen.

It was a long moment before I heard Cole lower his voice, unwilling to let go.

"I can't stand not marrying Nellie."

"One last lie. Once Nellie and I have the wedding, I'll settle down and live with her."

My vision slowly blurred, and around the corner the conversation kept going.

There was a thread of hesitation in Lambert's voice.

"Cole, maybe just let this one go. Lindsay really seems to care about this proposal."

"She even told us guys specifically to make the photos look nice. Doing this to her"

He didn't finish, but everyone knew what he meant.

Cole gave an unbothered, cold snort.

There was mockery in his tone.

"Afraid she'll make a scene?"

"Relax, she won't actually get angry. I'll smooth it over afterward and it'll blow over."

"Just keep her steady for a bit. Once she sees I've lost my memory again, she'll stop."

I stood rooted where I was, my whole body stiff.

For some reason Lambert choked up for a second, his face full of confusion.

"Cole, honestly, do you like Lindsay or not?"

"Normally you won't even let her touch water, you fuss over a little cut for ages, but you've been seeing her best friend on the side for four years. Aren't you afraid you'll blow up their friendship?"

Cole laughed.

"Of course I don't like her."

"Lindsay's too well-behaved, too proper in bed, no fun at all. Nowhere near as exciting as Nellie."

"If the Swanson family couldn't give me a leg up, I'd have broken it off with her ages ago."

He let out a long sigh.

"Tell mewouldn't it have been perfect if the daughter the Swansons brought home had been Nellie?"

I stood in the corner, my chest horribly hollow.

Tears slid down my face onto the back of my hand, so scalding they seemed ready to burn through my skin.

Lambert sucked in a breath, his voice uneasy and unsure.

"Cole, you've really got some nerve. Sure, Lindsay's crazy about you, but her father, Lawrence Swanson, is no pushover."

"If he finds out you're treating his daughter like this, won't he tear you apart alive?"

Cole was startled for a second, then laughed even louder.

"What's there to be afraid of? His precious daughter's whole future happiness is in my hands. He'd dare touch me?"

"You have no idea how much Lindsay loves me."

"All I have to say is that I've lost my memory, and even if I slept with Nellie right in front of her, she'd swallow it."

"Last time Nellie and I went up to the summit to watch the stars, and on the way back I forgot to bring her along. She walked the mountain road alone the whole night, legs all swollen, and she never blamed me for it afterward."

"She probably doesn't even know it herselfshe really is a masochist."

Then he clapped Lambert on the shoulder and bragged,

"You have to keep her steady for me later. Don't let her ruin my proposal."

A masochist.

My heart wrung tight.

And yet I couldn't stop the urge to laugh.

All these years, what exactly had Cole seen me as?

A useful tool for a marriage alliance, or an object to satisfy his urge to hurt someone.

Just how low did I have to be for him to believe

that no matter how he treated me, I'd never leave.

I drew a deep breath. I couldn't listen to another word.

I turned and walked away first.

In the restroom, I looked at myself in the mirror.

Eyes red-rimmed, makeup a mess.

My lashes clumped together in stringy strands, black eyeliner smudged all around my eyes.

Just like this relationship, already rotting and turning foul from the day he decided to "lose his memory."

I pressed my lips together in silence and wiped away, bit by bit, the makeup that had taken me a full four hours to do.

Cole probably didn't know that back when his memory first started slipping so often,

my father had already arranged another match for me.

Since being with me was such a strain for him,

I'd give him what he wanted.

From now on I'd step out of his entire world, and he'd never see me again.

On the way there, Nellie Henson was waiting anxiously at the door.

She had on a fitted red dress tonight, her makeup just as carefully done.

The moment she saw it was me, she hurried over and hooked her arm through mine.

"Lindy, we've all been waiting for you. Come on, come on."

She dragged me forward, unable to wait a second longer.

The doors swung open, and with a bang, confetti rained down over Nellie and me.

Standing there side by side, you couldn't tell which of us was supposed to be the star of the night.

The mood lights in the room came up right on cue.

Under that soft, romantic glow, I looked at Cole standing across the room.

He wore a white suit, a huge bouquet of red roses in his arms.

Every inch the devoted man.

My heart betrayed me, thudding hard against my ribs.

I pressed a hand over it, and despite everything, a flicker of hope I hadn't felt in a long time rose up in me.

Maybe he was just playing a prank. Maybe he only wanted to scare me. Maybe...

I watched him walk slowly toward me.

Under the cheering, egging-on stares of the whole crowd.

And then he handed that bouquet of roses to Nellie, standing right beside me.

In an instant the crowd went dead silent, and so did my hand, half-lifted in the air.

Those secret little hopes split open in midair like soap bubbles.

Cole dropped to one knee, a smile playing at his lips.

"Nellie, I love you. Will you marry me?"

I curled my hand back in and couldn't lie to myself anymore.

The whole room was utterly quiet.

Lambert slipped up beside me without a sound, pressed a hand on my shoulder, and said softly,

"Ma'am, going by how he's acting, it looks like Cole's lost his memory again."

"Let's not set him off. Let him finish the whole thing, and once he gets his memory back, the guys and I will help the two of you set the place up properly."

Amnesia.

What a ridiculous, absurd lie.

And yet it had fooled me, over and over.

Something clogged my chest, tight enough to leave me short of breath and shaking inside.

I turned my head and quietly watched the two of them look at each other.

This proposal venue, I had set it up myself.

The photos hanging in the air, I had chosen every one of them, one by one.

Each of them proof that I hadn't given up.

And now here he was, on the venue I'd built with my own hands, holding the roses I'd picked myself, proposing to someone else.

I couldn't stop the laugh rising in me.

But the tears fell first.

"Cole, did you really lose your memory?"

His body stiffened for a moment.

The next instant he frowned at me, his tone weary.

"Lindsay, how many times do I have to say it? Nellie is my girlfriend."

"Today is the day I propose to her. Could you please stop causing trouble?"

My nails dug hard into my palm as I swallowed down the taste of blood climbing my throat.

And then I really laughed.

"Fine."

"Cole, let's break up."

Everyone traded glances.

Lambert answered weakly at my side.

"Lindy, he doesn't remember you right now. Don't be angry."

Others were happy to watch the drama grow.

"Cole's lost his memory, just let it slide."

"Once he remembers, everything will be fine."

"Right, he's forgotten so many times by now, you should be used to it."

A flicker of irritation crossed Cole's eyes too.

But he didn't so much as glance at me. He took out the diamond ring he'd had ready all along and held it up high.

"Baby, will you marry me?"

A wave of cheering broke out from the crowd.

"Marry him, marry him."

Nellie flushed at the teasing and gave a shy nod.

The huge diamond ring slid slowly onto her finger and settled, perfectly snug, on her ring finger.

Not too big, not too small. Just right.

My palm was slick and sticky, but what hurt more than my palm was my heart.

Nellie's ring size was one size smaller than mine.

Cole had always known.

From the very beginning, the star of this proposal was never me.

My eyes swept over everyone in the room. Their gazes were all fixed on the two of them.

Not one of them spared me a second look.

As if my presence were nothing but a meaningless backdrop.

I lowered my eyes and opened my palm, already gone red.

The strength that had been holding me up scattered all at once.

I took two small steps back, turned, and walked out.

Behind me the cheering grew louder and louder.

But none of it had anything to do with me anymore.

On the way back, I took out my phone and dialed that familiar number.

"Dad, I was wrong. What you told me back then, that was the truth."

"In three days, I'll cut it all off and come home to marry."

My father spent his whole life in business, and no one read people better than he did.

Long ago, back when Cole first "lost his memory" and started treating Nellie Henson as his girlfriend, he told me Cole's heart had turned.

He told me to leave him.

Back then I refused to believe Cole would betray me. I would rather run away from home in a fit of temper than give him up.

Over the years, he lost his memory countless times, and countless times I made a scene about it.

It wasn't until I heard that conversation tonight that I finally saw it.

From beginning to end, the only one who stayed in place was me.

After I hung up the phone, I didn't go back. I checked into a hotel and spent the night there.

Early the next morning, I went to the apartment complex where Cole and I used to live.

The moment I opened the door, my mind went blank.

Clothes were strewn all over the floor in a tangled heap.

The furniture sat crooked and shoved out of place.

The smell that hit me made my stomach turn.

A sharp, pulsing ache twisted in my chest, and I gagged so hard it felt like I might bring up everything from the night before.

I stood in the doorway a long while, steadying myself, before I finally found the courage to walk in.

The room was pitch dark, the floor sticky with damp patches everywhere.

I kept my eyes straight ahead, dragged out my suitcase, and stuffed all my clothes into it in a messy rush.

The sound of the closet door woke the two of them from their sleep.

When Nellie Henson saw it was me, she let out a shriek.

Then she scrambled up, trembling, and hurried to pull her clothes on.

"Lindy, I it's not what you think"

Panic flickered across Cole's eyes too, quick as a flash.

Then he remembered his "amnesia," and just as quickly composed himself.

"What are you doing here? Can't you see we're resting? Don't you understand privacy?"

Seeing me pack my clothes without so much as a glance at them, Nellie's eyes went red at once.

"Lindy, I'm sorry, don't shut me out."

"I didn't mean for it to happen. We were drunk last night, neither of us knew what we were doing."

Her voice cracked with tears, as if the one in the wrong were me.

Once I had all my clothes packed, I simply stood up.

My gaze settled on them, calm.

"Cole, is faking amnesia fun?"

"All these years, the two of you used that amnesia as cover to do everything intimate right in front of me. Quite a thrill, wasn't it?"

Cole's expression darkened. I drew a deep breath and just laid it all out.

"My father was right. From the moment you 'lost your memory,' this relationship of ours was already rotten to the core. I was too foolish, that's why the two of you had me running in circles."

"Nellie Henson, since you schemed so hard to get your hands on him, then he's my gift to you."

With that, I zipped up my suitcase, turned, and started for the door.

Cole grabbed my wrist like a madman.

"It's the crack of dawn. What are you throwing a fit about now?"

I gave a self-mocking little laugh.

"Then let's just say I'm throwing a fit."

I didn't feel like saying anything more. I picked up the suitcase and moved to leave.

But Cole gripped my wrist tight and wouldn't let go.

His face turned vicious in an instant.

"Lindsay Swanson, this is some new trick of yours, isn't it? Gotten clever, have you, learned to retreat to get the upper hand?"

"Too bad. Nellie and I are getting married. I don't have time to play your games."

He turned, picked up the invitation from the nightstand, and held it out in front of me.

"One week from now is our wedding day."

"You're Nellie's friend. I'll be generous and invite you to be a bridesmaid."

The big red double-happiness character was like a wall of flame, searing until my throat clenched shut.

Ten years with Cole, and I had dreamed of getting married.

Yet now his name was bound to Nellie Henson's, and here it was, handed to me.

I let out a laugh, and inside it felt as if some nameless shackle had come loose.

A wave of lightness washed over me.

It didn't matter. None of it mattered.

I lifted my head and pushed the invitation back into his hand.

At last, I let it go.

"I won't be coming. Because that same day happens to be my own wedding day."

"Congratulations to you both, in advance."

When the invitation was pushed back into his hand, Cole's face went blank for a moment.

By the time he came back to himself, Lindsay was already far away.

His mind was full of the smile she'd given him as she left.

Faint, and touched with relief.

Had she figured something out, or had she truly decided to let go?

Panic came over him like a wave, drowning him in an instant.

For one moment, he wanted to throw everything aside and go after her.

But two steps in, he stopped where he stood.

And say what? That he'd done it on purpose, that he'd never lost his memory at all.

That all of it had been carefully staged, just to keep Nellie's tenderness for himself.

No. The moment he chased after her, there would be nothing left between them.

Cole forced himself calm and watched Lindsay walk away without once looking back.

"Cole, what's wrong?"

Nellie clung to him in fear, her voice thick with tears.

"You regret it, don't you? You regret the amnesia, regret lying to Lindsay. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have let myself dream of staying by your side, but I couldn't help it."

"Every single moment, I keep thinking, if only I were your girlfriend, how wonderful that would be."

"If only I were the Swanson daughter, then we could be together out in the open, couldn't we?"

Hearing the catch in Nellie's voice, the crease in Cole's brow slowly eased.

His arms tightened around her on their own, and he sighed.

"Don't dwell on it. I don't regret the things I've done."

"Nellie, I'll keep my promise. I'll give you a perfect wedding."

In the days that followed, Cole threw himself into arranging the venue,

and never looked at a single piece of news about Lindsay again.

He'd promised Nellie a wedding she would never forget.

So every detail of it was finished under his own supervision.

The venue was an old castle, draped all around in pure white gauze.

The roses were flown in from France, still fresh with the morning.

Cluster after cluster of them bloomed along the red carpet of the aisle.

The gown was made entirely by hand by a top designer, elegant and graceful, and cut to show off every curve.

On the wedding day, Cole invited all of his friends to come and witness their love.

Yet when the music started, everyone's eyes were on the phones in their hands.

Every face wore a strange, unreadable smile.

Cole frowned, an old flicker of irritation rising in him.

What were they looking at? Wasn't their wedding the thing worth waiting for?

Then the officiant lifted the microphone on the platform.

"Mr. Harding, do you take Miss Nellie Henson to be your wife, for richer or for poorer?"

Cole had just opened his mouth when he saw Lambert rush up, phone in hand.

"Cole, Lindsay's getting married."

"Right now, at the Carrington Hotel. Cole, if you go now, there's still time."

Who was getting married?!

A ringing filled his ears, a roar that drowned out everything.

It was a long moment before he pulled himself out of the daze.

He snatched the phone from Lambert.

The screen had barely opened when someone dropped a video into the group chat.

In it, Lindsay was in a wedding gown, walking forward step by step on Mr. Swanson's arm.

The chat kept scrolling, all giggles and chatter.

"She really got married, isn't this too sudden?"

"Who's the groom? Anyone know him?"

"Congratulations, congratulations."

The messages popped up one after another, but he couldn't take in any of it.

She really was getting married.

Then... what about him?

Lindsay, how dared she

Cole gripped the phone and bolted out.