No Longing for the Past, No Fear of the Future

On my twentieth birthday, my father made my mother take the fall for an adopted daughter, on a university bribery case.

My mother was sentenced to eight full years.

Eight years later, my father tracked me down at a bar.

I can't reach your mother. Kathy's in trouble again. Get your mom to help us out one more time.

"It's not like your mother's some big university professor anymore. What difference does a few more years in prison make?"

My former fianc came to talk me around too.

"Kathy just made a careless mistake. She's carrying my child now, and whatever you want to say about it, she's still your sister on paper. You can't really stand by and watch a pregnant woman go to prison, can you?"

My face stayed blank, and I turned and walked away.

This time, I was afraid they were going to be disappointed.

Inside the bar, the pounding music left your ears buzzing.

My father and Bryce Henson stood in front of me in their tailored suits, both of them frowning at me.

I set the drinks down off my tray and looked at them.

"Sorry. Can't do it."

"Last time my mother took the fall for Kathy Pruitt, she lost her job, went to prison, and did eight full years."

"This time, don't even think about it."

My father looked me over from head to toe, his voice thick with disgust.

"Look at the state of you. You've thrown yourself away."

"Serving drinks and carrying trays in a sleazy place like this. Do you have any shame left at all?"

"Call your mother right now and get her over here. I'd like to ask her exactly how she raised a daughter like you."

I laughed once and answered him coldly.

"Sleazy?"

"Right. This place is too small a temple to house two grand idols like you."

"Greg Pruitt, take your fine son-in-law and go wherever it is you belong."

Both their faces darkened at once.

Bryce spoke up, trying to persuade me.

"Kathy has no real sense of money. She got herself into trouble this time by accident. If your mother will just agree to help one more time, I'll give you two thousand, as a token of my thanks."

When I still said nothing, my father couldn't help adding a line.

"Kathy's pregnant right now. Whatever you want to say about it, she's still your sister on paper. You can't really watch a pregnant woman go to prison, can you?"

I looked at my father, my face expressionless.

"Greg Pruitt, have you forgotten? Eight years ago you told me to my face to get out of the Pruitt house. You said you had no daughter like me anymore."

"And now you come claiming family. Don't you disgust yourself?"

My father's face went ashen, his chest heaving several times. He was silent for a moment, then suddenly spoke.

"If your mother agrees, I can let her come back to the Pruitt house as a maid. Hasn't she always wanted to come back? She's not fit to be Mrs. Pruitt anymore, but since she's still of some use, I can bring myself to put food in her mouth."

When he said that, I froze completely.

Eight years. I'd thought that seeing them again would make me hysterical, make me lose my mind.

Instead I was strangely calm.

I only lifted a hand and signaled to security, my voice neither loud nor soft.

"Security, this man is harassing me."

My father exploded on the spot.

"Paula Pruitt! What are you talking about? Have you lost your mind? Where's your mother? Get her over here! Today I am going to ask her how she raised such an ungrateful wretch!"

Before either of them could say much more, security marched them straight out.

Fran, the bar owner, saw how frighteningly pale my face was and hurried over.

"Paula, are you all right?"

I shook my head, picked up the untouched drink in front of me, and knocked it back in one gulp.

"I'm fine."

Something came to Fran suddenly.

"Those two just now, why did they look so familiar"

"I've got it!"

"Greg Pruitt. That's the richest man in New York!"

"And the one beside him, Greg Pruitt's son-in-law, Bryce Henson, who owns Easton Law Firm!"

She stopped short after she said it.

"What did they come to you for? Did they push you around? Don't be scared. Whatever it is, you tell me, and I'll go to bat for you!"

I set the glass down and pulled up a smile.

"Want to hear a story?"

"The story of a modern-day heartbreaker who walked out on his family."

The box of memories opened.

My grandfather was Nathaniel Chatwin, once the famous richest man in New York.

My mother was raised like something precious, and she met my father in college.

His family was poor, and Grandfather didn't approve of the match.

But my mother had made up her mind. She moved with him to another city, and the two of them built everything from nothing.

Starting a business was brutal. In just three years they owed over a million in debt.

That was when my mother got pregnant with me.

In the end, Grandfather couldn't bear to watch her suffer, so he brought my parents back to New York.

My father started as a department manager at the Chatwin company, and my mother went to teach at a university.

After Grandfather died, my father slowly gained control of the company, and my mother made full professor.

To everyone outside, we were the kind of family people envied.

But later I learned that my father had never stopped thinking about his first love.

He and that first love had never lost touch.

The year I turned fifteen, my father's first love got cancer.

Before she died, she called him to her bedside and begged him to adopt her daughter.

My father agreed, and he brought the girl home. Her name was Kathy Pruitt.

When my mother found out, she didn't make a scene. She even worried that Kathy wouldn't adjust to the new home, and she fussed over her, asking every day if she was warm enough, if she was all right.

Sometimes when Kathy and I fought, my mother would tell me to give in to my little sister.

When she heard this far, Fran brought me an order of french fries, and couldn't help asking,

That adopted girl wasn't your dad's own kid, was she?

I gave a small laugh and shook my head.

No. I ran a DNA test on the quiet.

Kathy looked a lot like my dad's first love, so he doted on her.

Fran asked again,

So what happened after that? From the sound of it, your mom was pretty good to the girl.

I picked up a fry and said slowly,

After that, even my fianc started taking her side.

When Kathy first came to live with us, she didn't talk much, and she was timid.

She went to the same high school as me.

My boyfriend back then, Bryce Henson, hated her.

He said my father had gone too far, and that the first love had schemed too, deliberately dumping her daughter on us to cause trouble.

He said Kathy had a cold, creepy way of looking at people, and told me to keep my distance from her.

In college, Bryce and Kathy tested into the same school, which happened to be the university where my mother taught.

And I got into the top music conservatory in New York.

Back then Bryce swore up and down that he'd keep an eye on Kathy for me, make sure she didn't pull anything.

That first stretch of college, I was busy with competitions everywhere and practicing, and I didn't pay much attention to what was changing around me.

I didn't even know my father had arranged an internship for Kathy at the school.

It was only in the time before my birthday that I started hearing whispers, that Bryce and Kathy were getting close.

Back then I still believed him. I thought he'd never cross the line.

Until the day I turned twenty.

I came home and heard the sound of things being thrown in the study.

My mother was crying, shouting,

You wanted to raise another woman's daughter, fine, I accepted it. Now you want me to take the fall for her? Have you lost your mind?

My father's voice was worked up too,

Kathy is only twenty. Her life is just beginning. Can you really stand to watch her go to prison?

My mother cried like her heart was breaking,

I want a divorce! We're done, right here!

My father sneered,

You think I ever wanted to marry you? If it weren't for your family's money back then, I would never have been with you at all!

I stood outside the study door, and the cake box slipped from my hands to the floor.

Something in me snapped, and I rushed into the study.

Dad, this is too far!

My mother was sitting on the floor, her face wet with tears, her hair a mess.

The mother who had always been so elegant, so composed, was so wretched I barely recognized her.

Paula, she looked up at me, Mom is going to get a divorce. Will you come with me?

I looked at her swollen, weeping eyes, and I nodded.

But that day never came.

Kathy embezzled five hundred thousand during her internship.

When the police knocked on our door, every piece of evidence pointed at my mother. She was sentenced to eight full years.

The moment the verdict came down, her eyes were flooded with a sorrow that would not lift.

Paula, I'm sorry. I won't be able to take care of you anymore. You have to take good care of yourself.

I cried so hard I couldn't speak.

I ran to Bryce, wanting him to help me.

I pushed open the door to his apartment, and Kathy was tangled up on the bed with him, both of them half undressed.

My eyes went red, and I grabbed the vase beside me and hurled it at Kathy.

Bryce stepped in front of her.

The vase shattered across the floor.

Paula Pruitt! You've always been this spoiled and willful! he shouted at me. Kathy is a hundred times gentler and kinder than you!

I lunged at them like a madwoman, and Bryce threw me out the door.

Kathy told me everything. Living in your house on your family's charity, bullied by you, having it hard the whole time.

From now on, let's just pretend we never knew each other.

Kathy poked her head out, looking all pitiful.

Sis, don't blame Bryce. He's a good person. He saw how pathetic I was and wanted to comfort me, and we didn't mean for it to

Rage blurred my vision, and the words came out of me raw.

Kathy, you filthy little slut! Just as cheap as that short-lived mother of yours! You took the money and made my mom take the fall. You'll get what's coming to you!

Bryce raised his hand and slapped me hard across the face.

Enough! You crazy woman!

My ear rang and rang and wouldn't stop.

That one slap left my right ear all but deaf.

From that day on, my world came apart.

To clear my mother's name, I went to my father's company again and again to raise hell.

Every time, security dragged me out and a police car hauled me away.

The people at the station all knew me now.

Miss Pruitt, your mother has already begun serving her sentence. You have to face reality. You can't keep acting out like this, causing trouble over and over.

Making a scene like this again and again is a real disturbance to public order.

I opened my mouth and nothing came out.

I went to Bryce's law firm too, clutching the love letters he'd once written me.

Kathy saw them, and with pity all over her face, she threw the letters into the bathroom trash.

Security shoved me to the ground.

Get out! Our Mr. Henson is about to hold his wedding with his fiance. Cause any more trouble and see if we don't have you rotting in a cell!

I sat on the ground and cried until everything went blurry.

That was when a car with no license plate came rushing at me.

Maybe I just didn't hear the horn. Maybe the car did it on purpose.

The wheels rolled hard over my fingers.

The pain knocked me out cold on the spot.

When I woke up, both hands were shattered beyond repair. I would never play the piano again.

I had to give up the world tour contract I'd signed, and paid a staggering penalty for breaking it.

In the span of a single month.

Family, love, career, all of it gone.

I said all this in a very calm voice, as if I were telling someone else's story.

After my hands were ruined, I went to apply at other companies. No one dared hire me. They were all afraid of crossing my father.

Only you, Fran. You were the only one willing to take me in.

I gave a small, faint laugh.

The truth is, that day I'd already decided to go jump in the river. I happened to pass your place and thought I'd try one last time, ask if you were hiring.

You kept me, so I didn't manage to die.

Fran's eyes went red.

These people will get what's coming to them.

I stood up and brushed off my pants.

Shift's over. I'm heading out.

Back at my little rental, someone was standing at the door.

Cigarette butts littered the ground.

I frowned and looked over.

Paula, let's talk.

I stopped where I was.

"Whatever there was to say, I already said it clearly at the bar. And honestly, I don't think we have anything to talk about."

Bryce sighed. "Kathy's only three months along. The pregnancy's still fragile."

"Can't you talk to your mother again?"

"Your mom did eight years. She's probably like you now, no steady job. Fifty thousand. I'll give her fifty thousand. Will that work?"

I looked at him, and slowly I smiled. "Bryce, eight years ago, when you people made my mother take the fall, do you have any idea what those years were like for her in prison?"

"You think a few thousand can buy back the time she lost in there?"

He frowned. "When did you get so materialistic? You never used to talk about money."

Then he suddenly reached out and took my hand. "How did your hands get so rough? What about the piano? Why did you stop playing?"

"No matter how much you hate me, you shouldn't just throw away the career you loved. Giving up on yourself like this is not rational."

I yanked my hand back hard.

"Don't touch me. You disgust me."

His voice quickened. "Your father is right. You and your mother, you're too stubborn, too selfish. You only ever think about yourselves and never once consider anyone else's situation."

My voice shot up. "Selfish?"

"Bryce, hand on your heart, tell me who's the selfish one."

"You loved Kathy so much back then. For her you could hit me, cut me off completely. So why didn't you go to prison for her?"

He froze, his lips moving. "I'm the only son in my family. Going to prison that young would have ruined my whole life. Besides, I don't teach at the school. My position couldn't have been covered by anyone else."

My voice shook. "So my mother deserved it, is that it? Her life was there for you people to throw into the hole, is that it?"

"Bryce, listen to me. For the rest of this life, no one is ever taking the fall for Kathy again. You and my father, both of you can give it up."

"And besides"

Before I could finish, a phone rang, sharp and urgent.

He picked up.

The voice on the other end came sugary and clinging. "Honey, where are you? I'm home all alone and I'm a little scared."

I turned my head aside and my mouth twitched.

He hung up and looked at me. "I'm heading back. Paula, think it over. Or... let me talk to your mother face to face."

I didn't say a word. I slammed the door shut.

"Mom, they've pushed this too far..."

The next day, the moment I reached the bar, I saw Fran standing out on the curb, her face dark with rage.

"You rotten butchers! You animals!"

My stomach dropped. I rushed inside and stopped cold.

The counter was flipped over, bottles scattered across the floor, every table and chair smashed to pieces, red paint splashed all over the walls.

My father stood in the middle of the wreckage, his suit pressed and spotless.

"Paula." He spoke. "You still carry the Pruitt name. Hanging around a filthy dump like this, what future do you think you'll have?"

"This time, all your mother has to do is step up and help, and I'll set the two of you up for the rest of your lives. House, car, money, you won't want for any of it."

I glared at him, my eyes burning red.

"Did you send people to trash this place?"

He flicked his sleeve, careless. "A run-down bar, how much can it cost? I'll pay for it. I'll buy the whole thing if I have to."

"But you are not working here anymore. You embarrass me."

"What is going on with your mother? She won't take my calls, won't answer my messages."

"Paula, I'm giving you one day. Bring your mother to see me. Otherwise, don't blame me for taking drastic measures and going to find her myself."

He turned and walked out.

Fran was shaking all over with fury.

"What kind of person is that! Worse than an animal!"

I looked at the ruin covering the floor, and my chest ached.

"Fran... I'm sorry. I dragged you into this."

She grabbed my arm and let out a heavy sigh.

"I'll be going after them for damages. Those bastards aren't shorting me a single cent."

"Sweetheart, what are you going to do?"

I dragged out a slow smile.

"All of this. It's time it had an ending."

On the appointed day, I walked into a five-star hotel.

Kathy wore a long white dress, smiling sweetly. A fair number of reporters had turned up.

She turned, saw me, and her eyes lit up. "Sis! You actually came?"

"Are you here to celebrate my birthday?"

"Where's Auntie? Why didn't she come?"

My father stood a short distance off. When he saw me, his face went cold. "Come with me to the lounge."

I followed him in.

Bryce was leaning back on the sofa. He glanced up, past my shoulder. "Where's your mother? Has she come around?"

I sat down, picked up the teacup on the table, and took a slow sip. "Who said my mother was coming?"

My father's face changed in an instant. "What do you mean? You're playing me?"

In the corner, a little red light blinked on a machine.

The lounge was being broadcast live in real time, feeding straight to the big screen in the banquet hall.

I looked at my father, my voice level.

"Greg, eight years ago, Kathy embezzled five hundred thousand from the funds during her internship at the school. To protect her, you made my mother confess. You put her in prison for eight full years."

"In all those eight years, in the dead of night, did you ever feel you'd wronged her?"

His face was ugly. "Why bring up all this old history? Kathy was only twenty back then, so young! Your mother was already getting on in years. What was so wrong with her carrying it for a while?"

"It's not that I never thought about making it up to you! But your mother? After she got out, she wouldn't take my calls, wouldn't leave an address, wouldn't see me at all!"

My eyes went hot, my lips trembling and I couldn't stop them.

"Because she's dead!"

"My mother is dead! She was gone less than two months after she got out!"

A photo appeared on the big screen.

Black and white.

My mother's memorial photo.

Kathy had just come out of the restroom. She looked up at the screen and screamed in fright.

I pushed open the lounge door and walked, step by step, into the very center of the banquet hall.

The whole room fell silent. Every camera turned toward me.

I lifted my head, and my voice carried across the entire hall.

"I want to file a report."

"Greg Pruitt, Bryce Henson, Kathy Pruitt. They gamed the justice system and framed an innocent woman."