The Third Side of the Coin: No More Old Lovers

There was a bead-craft keychain in Jesse Simmons's coat pocket that hadn't been there before.

I took a picture of it and showed my sister.

She laughed until she was practically shaking, then leaned in with a warning.

Sis, this is the kind of thing young people play with.

You'd better watch out. Jesse's definitely got someone on the side.

"And whoever she is, she's a lot younger than you. Could be she's right under your nose."

My lips pressed into a thin, bloodless line as I denied it.

"No. He's not that kind of man."

When Jesse got home from work, he was carrying a bag of pastries.

They were from a new shop, and not cheap.

He handed the bag straight to my sister.

And handed me his coat.

I lifted my eyes and met his.

"Jesse, isn't there any for me?"

He gave a helpless little laugh and touched the top of my head.

"How old are you? Fighting your sister over food."

"Tomorrow. I'll get you some tomorrow too, all right?"

The moment he turned away, the look on his face shifted into irritation.

The bead-craft keychain in his coat.

The new pastries with nothing bought for me.

I think I already had my answer.

...

I spent the whole night in the living room.

I sat from dark until dawn, my eyes shot through with red.

"Why are you up so early?"

Jesse didn't wait for an answer. He turned and went to wash up.

It was the kind of question that cost him nothing, tossed off without a second thought.

After he'd washed, Jesse sat down at the table.

He was waiting for me to pour him his hot milk and set out his sandwich, the way I always did.

But this morning, there was nothing.

His brow drew slowly together, the two lines pulling inward, a thin film of confusion rising in his eyes.

"Yvonne Butler, you didn't make breakfast?"

I turned the coffee spoon between my fingertips, watching the little whirlpools form.

"Why aren't you saying anything?"

After a long moment, I lifted my eyes to him.

"I did."

"Said what? I didn't hear anything."

"Silence."

Jesse laughed.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, a very faint sigh slipping out through it.

"Honey, I work all day and I'm exhausted. Can you not throw these little tantrums?"

He pulled up the pastry shop's post and sat down beside me.

"Here, take a look. Which ones do you want?"

My gaze fell on the screen. My hand hadn't even touched it.

"Sis, why's there no breakfast? You're going to send me off to school hungry?"

"I'm not your maid. I won't be doing any of it from now on."

My sister ignored that and turned to Jesse.

"Big brother, take me out to eat. I want dumplings."

Before I could even react, Jesse pulled his phone back.

"Sure. I'll fill you up today."

I stayed exactly as I was, barely reacting to Jesse coming or going.

While the two of them were laughing and messing around, my sister got her coat on.

"Big brother, I've got a dinner thing tonight."

She fidgeted a little, then said, "It ends at ten. Could you come pick me up when it's done?"

"A few of my classmates have seen you. They all say you're really handsome."

She grabbed his arm and rocked it gently back and forth.

The corners of her eyes drooped a little, her voice edged with pleading.

"Please? You're so good-looking, it'd be such a flex to bring you along."

Jesse flicked the tip of her nose, a light smile spreading in his eyes, his lips curving loose and easy.

"Okay, okay, okay. Whatever you want."

The two of them kept talking as they walked toward the door.

So it turned out I was like air, right there in plain sight and yet so easy to ignore.

How long had it been since Jesse and I had really talked.

Ever since Violet Butler moved out of her school dorms, I'd become the maid of this house.

Whatever she felt like eating, I had to make it for her right away.

Otherwise Jesse would say the same thing my parents did.

"Violet's your little sister. As the older one, you should take good care of her."

"What could a young girl like her be scheming? She just wants to lean on her big sister."

At the door, Jesse picked up our matching couple's umbrellas.

"Violet, it might rain today. Take your sister's for now."

"No. I like the pink one."

Jesse coaxed her, one hand pushing the door open for her.

"Fine, fine, fine. I'll buy you a pink one when I'm off work today."

"You little handful. Just take this one for now, or you'll get caught in the rain and catch a cold, and then I'll have to coax you into taking your medicine all over again."

Then something seemed to occur to him, and Jesse looked back at me.

"Honey, you'll have to make your own way to the restaurant tonight, sorry."

"If I'm picking up Violet, it won't be on your way."

The light from the doorway faded out of my sight.

And whatever was left of me sank down into the silence with it.

At the old house, they were all crowded around one table, talking and laughing.

The moment I stepped in with my bag, I felt like an outsider who'd shown up uninvited.

Violet had Jesse on her left and Mom on her right.

Jesse poured her a glass of corn smoothie, and Mom kept piling food onto her plate.

Violet tilted her chin up a little, her eyes bright and curved with a smile.

She talked fast, unable to hide how thrilled she was.

"Mom, Dad, you have no idea, big brother made me look so good today."

"He just parked the car at the school gate and it already turned everyone's heads."

Violet looked over at Jesse, her voice going soft.

"Big brother, before I leave to study abroad, will you come pick me up every day? Please?"

Jesse smiled, all indulgence, and ruffled her hair.

"Sure. Whatever you say."

It was only when they heard me changing my shoes that the whole family finally looked toward the door.

Jesse stood and came over to greet me.

He put an arm around me and asked quietly,

"What's wrong, honey? Are you feeling all right?"

Seeing my hair soaked through, he carefully dried it for me.

"Why didn't you use an umbrella?"

"An umbrella?"

"Didn't you two take it?"

A flicker of displeasure crossed Jesse's face and was gone just as quickly.

His breath went low, his voice held in check.

"Everyone's here. Don't put on that face."

"Whatever it is, we'll talk at home. Worst case, I'll just buy you a new one."

"Big brother, the food's getting cold, why aren't you coming over?"

Violet called out to Jesse loudly, cutting straight through our conversation.

Jesse took my arm and walked over with me.

I sat on Jesse's left, with nothing in front of me but a plate of vegetable salad.

The chestnut chicken, the noodle soup, the garlic chicken wings were all set right in front of Violet.

And even so, she didn't have to lift a hand.

"Big brother, I want more chicken wings."

Without a second's hesitation, Jesse put one in his own bowl and deboned it for her.

I set my chopsticks down.

They clicked against the rim of the bowl, a crisp little sound.

"Violet, he's your brother-in-law. Enough with the 'big brother.'"

"Jesse, I like chicken wings too. Why don't I ever see you fixing one for me?"

The second I finished, the air went dead quiet.

Mom spoke first, breaking the silence.

"Ahem. Yvonne, why fuss with your sister over this?"

"She's an unmarried young girl, what bad intentions could she have?"

It had always been like this.

Violet tore up my homework, smashed my ceramic jar, even crept in at night to cut my hair.

And every time, she would say,

"Your sister doesn't know any better. Don't you know better either?"

"What is there to fuss about with your own sister? You're the older one, you should give in to her more."

I held it in until I got married, and then Violet moved in with us too, saying the dorm was uncomfortable.

She was a grown woman. How could she not understand?

Jesse rubbed my back too, saying gently,

"Honey, let Violet call me whatever she wants. We're family anyway."

As he said it, he put the chicken wing in his hand into my bowl.

"Here, this one's for you first. I'll get the next one for Violet."

The fault clearly wasn't mine, yet all their reproachful eyes landed on me.

As if I were the one blowing this out of proportion, splitting hairs over nothing.

Whatever appetite I'd had for the chicken wing in my bowl was gone.

I stood up and said flatly,

"You all eat. I'm full."

Not one of them stopped me. They just bent their heads back to their chatter.

Walking toward the door, I caught a few of their comments about me.

Mom said,

"Just leave her be. Foul temper. Spoiled rotten by the family since she was little."

"Exactly. At home our big sister always threw her weight around. The second something didn't go her way, out came that face."

My mother-in-law laughed as she chimed in.

"Well, when you put it that way, Violet's the better one."

"If you were a little older, maybe you'd have been the one to marry Jesse."

"Such a sweet, well-behaved girl. I'm quite fond of her."

And Jesse, from start to finish, never said a single word for me.

I closed the door softly.

I pulled myself together and dialed the number I'd left untouched for so long.

"Fiona Lambert, can I, can I still come to you?"

"Good. Two days from now, I'll be there right on time."

Jesse and my sister came home very late.

The living room light was still on, and he seemed a little surprised by it.

My sister had been spoiled rotten by our parents, and she'd never treated me, her older sister, as anyone worth minding.

She saw me and barely reacted. She just turned and went back to her room.

Before she shut the door, she poked her head back out and said to Jesse,

"Big brother, good night."

"Tomorrow's the weekend. Will you take me to a movie? Please?"

Jesse looked at me and hesitated.

"Go to sleep. We'll talk about it tomorrow."

My sister clearly didn't like that answer. She let out a huff and slammed the door.

"Can we talk?"

Jesse walked ahead of me, into the guest room.

Ever since my sister moved in, all he ever left me was his back.

Yet back when Jesse and I were dating, I told him everything about how unfairly my family treated me.

He went bungee jumping with me, drove me around late at night, did all the things I'd never done before.

Even with my dull, quiet nature, he made me feel like I'd found myself again.

Turns out promises only count in the moment they're made.

"Yvonne, you made everyone very uncomfortable today."

Jesse spoke first, laying the blame on me.

I still remembered how it used to be. Any wish I mentioned in passing, Jesse would quietly make it happen by the next day.

I met his angry stare and spoke slowly.

"Jesse, where's my bread?"

"Didn't you say you'd buy it for me today?"

His hands were empty. He froze for a second.

"I'm talking to you about something serious."

I nodded.

"So am I."

He pulled me down to sit and started coaxing me again, patiently.

"Yvonne, have you been in a bad mood lately?"

"If you're unhappy, how about I take you shopping tomorrow?"

"After you left today, Mom and Dad were all pretty upset. It was your sister who put in a few good words for you. That's the only reason it blew over."

I gave a cold laugh.

Mom and Dad? Whose Mom and Dad?

My mother-in-law and father-in-law were Jesse's parents.

The other pair were Violet's parents.

They only ever took Violet's side. All I had to do was be an obedient puppet.

"Jesse, then tell me. What good words did Violet put in for me?"

He stammered and couldn't get a word out for the longest time.

After I graduated, my mother said she wanted to see me married and living a happy life.

So Jesse and I did the natural thing and got our marriage license.

The more you lack something, the more you want to prove it.

I wanted my mother to look at me one more time, so I kept doing whatever she arranged.

As long as I satisfied her, she'd give me a gentle smile.

And then she'd say, "Yvonne's such a good girl."

For those words alone, I would have torn out my own heart.

But I only found out later that it was Violet who wanted me out of that house.

She wanted to turn my room into a studio, so she got my mother to talk me into marrying, just to get me gone faster.

The moment I learned that, I took every last one of my drawings out of my room.

My work. I wasn't going to let anyone soil it.

I took out the papers I'd prepared and pushed them across to Jesse.

"Let's get a divorce."

Jesse seemed to lose his footing and took a few steps back.

His brow drew together slowly, both eyebrows pulling toward the center, a thin layer of confusion rising in his eyes.

He gave a cold laugh and asked me.

"You want a divorce over one lousy piece of bread?"

I said flatly,

"There's the keychain too."

His expression turned a little panicked.

"You know?"

Violet had been dangling her bead-craft keychain right under my nose. It would've been hard not to see it.

"Violet has a test coming up. She's a little nervous."

"I only took her out to help her relax."

I'd chosen Jesse in the first place because of how he favored me.

But now he could take the love that was mine and hand a share of it to Violet.

That was proof enough there was no point staying with him.

I gave an "Oh," stood up, and walked to the door.

"Remember to sign."

Early the next morning, Jesse went out with Violet, the two of them leaving before I was even up.

His promise to take me shopping had only ever been words.

It had been more than a month since I moved out.

Fiona had looked after me the whole time, even arranging a place for me to stay ahead of it.

I'd been invited to the Mirror Lake Short-Form Comic Invitational, and the days ran into each other with how busy I was.

Jesse was certain I'd cave first, come crawling back to apologize, sure this was all just a fit of temper. He didn't send a single message the entire time.

Violet, on the other hand, sent me several.

Sis, I never knew big brother's cooking was this good.

Sis, when are you coming back? There's nobody here to clean the house.

Yvonne Butler, are you done yet? Don't come back at all, then. Works out perfectlybig brother's all mine now.

I pretended I hadn't seen any of it.

......

The day I discovered my manuscripts were gone, I rushed Fiona into driving me home.

Those pages were the creative spark for my contest entry. They mattered to me more than I could say.

But I turned the whole study upside down, and the box where I kept my drawings had been emptied out.

A noise came from the front door.

Jesse and Violet were back.

When he saw me, something like relief flickered across Jesse's face.

Then, just as quickly, he composed himself.

"Yvonne, you're homethat's what matters. I'm willing to let this go."

"But if you ever dare run off again, I really will be angry."

I let his little speech to himself run its course and turned to Violet.

"Where are the manuscripts from my box?"

Violet's eyes went wide, all innocence.

"Sis, what are you talking about? I don't understand a word of it."

"You'd better really not understand."

I kicked open the door to Violet's bedroom.

The box was there. So were the manuscripts.

Except every page had been torn to shreds.

Violet clapped a hand over her mouth and let out a gasp.

"Sis, how could you just barge into my room like this?!"

"No wonder big brother doesn't want you anymore. You're so rude, so badly raised!"

Jesse's jaw went tight, and he stepped into my path.

"Yvonne, apologize to your sister."

"Why should I?"

"Because you forced your way in here without her permission."

He stood there like a solid wall, planting himself between me and Violet.

I bit down on my lip and swallowed the catch in my throat.

"You're taking her side?"

Jesse sighed.

"Yvonne, this isn't about taking sides. What you did was wrong."

I kicked the box of shredded pages over in front of him and demanded:

"Jesse, don't tell me you don't know what this is about."

"These drawings matter to me more than my own life. Not only did you fail to keep them safe, you let Violet tear them apart."

Violet cut me off.

"These are my drawings! What proof do you have that they're yours?"

"Isn't that right, big brother?"

The seconds crawled past, and my breath felt like a hand had closed around my pulse.

"Jesse, you tell mewhose are these, really?"

He was quiet for a moment, then said,

"Yvonne, these are your sister's manuscripts."

"Are you jealous that she's more talented than you? Is that why you came back to pick a fight with us?"

"Yvonne, you've disappointed me deeply."

Word by word, he drove each one slowly into my heart.

That last surviving scrap of hope shattered clean away, all at once.

Fiona's applause snapped me back. She was smiling as she said:

"Wonderful. Truly wonderful."

"Little one, you say those manuscripts are yoursthen surely you have the originals?"

"And if the originals are lost, that's fine. You'd still have the digital versions, wouldn't you?"

Everything had happened so fast that I'd panicked a little myself.

Then it hit meall the digital originals were on my hands.

I met Fiona's eyes, and in an instant I was perfectly at ease.

I didn't waste another second on them. I turned and left with Fiona.

Let her keep that pile of scrap paper. I didn't want it.