After Being Kicked From Mother-in-Law's Family Group, I Stop Groveling

At his niece's birthday party, I had barely handed over the learning tablet before my mother-in-law snatched it away and tossed it aside.

Didn't you say you were buying Jared Abbott a gold bracelet? Who'd want this thing?

My sister-in-law chimed in. Right. If you say you'll do something, you do it. Otherwise don't say it at all.

I looked at my husband, Kent Pruitt. He was the one who'd brought up the gold bracelet in the first place.

Right now he pulled out a chair and sat down as if none of it had anything to do with him.

The mood in the room had gone strange. There was quiet muttering here and there. No one said a word for me.

Only Aunt Meredith stepped in to smooth things over. "Jared's still a student. A learning tablet from her aunt is very practical."

My mother-in-law wouldn't let it go. "I didn't say it wasn't practical."

With so many people around, I didn't fight her head-on. I just posted a message in her family group chat.

......

"Kent Pruitt, you're the one who ran your mouth back then. Why aren't you coming out to make good on it now?"

I tagged Kent directly. I saw his hand tighten around his phone, but he didn't turn to look at me.

If this had ended here, if none of them had said another word, I'd have told myself to let it slide. But Cicely Head wasn't finished.

Kent ignored me, and that was more than she could stand.

Cicely tagged me. "Anita Mason, don't go pushing this onto my son. Every cent my son earns ends up with you. Even if he didn't buy it, that's on you."

Look at that. Have you ever seen a mother-in-law this unreasonable?

"Every year Kent bought Jared a birthday present. She's fourteen now, and he never missed a single year. This is the only year he didn't, and that's because money's tight for him, all because you've got too tight a grip on everything."

Now I finally understood. When he bought a gift, her uncle was being thoughtful. The one year he didn't, her aunt became the villain.

The truth is, I'd been waiting the whole time to see where Kent stood. One word from him for me, and I'd have stopped there.

But Kent stayed silent, as though he'd never been in the chat at all.

Cicely still wouldn't let up. "Anita, hurry up and make good on Jared's gold bracelet. The child's been crying this whole time."

Whether that was true or not, I had no idea. But my disappointment in Kent had become total. That much was real.

I didn't post any more messages. Instead I sent a few screenshots, all chat records between Kent and me from the past few days, every one of them me reminding him of things he needed to do. Mostly household matters, though now and then his work too.

I fired several into the group, one of them the message where I reminded him Jared's birthday was coming up.

To that birthday reminder, Kent had replied: Where would I find the time to prep a birthday present? Just grab something for her.

I'd also reminded him about what he'd said about buying the gold bracelet. Kent replied: That was a joke at the time. Don't take it to heart. You handle it.

As these chats came out one after another, the group went noticeably quiet. But I knew this was only the quiet before the storm.

Then, while I was still staring at the group messages, a notice came through that I had been removed from the group.

I'd been kicked out?

The one who'd kicked me out was none other than my mother-in-law, Cicely.

Fine. So she was afraid I'd expose more of what had happened before.

I let out a short laugh. This was fine too. It wasn't as if I'd had any presence in that group anyway.

As for whether Kent said anything afterward, I no longer cared to know.

I'd been kicked out of the family group chat, but I was still at Jared's birthday party, and some of the people there had been reading the chat. When they saw me, they pointed and whispered.

Their whispering didn't scare me. Going through a night like this had made a few things clear to me.

The party wasn't over yet, but I decided to leave early.

I didn't say goodbye to Kent. I'd sent him all those messages in the group, and he hadn't answered a single one. He thought he was the angry one. Nobody seemed to care that I was angry too.

When I reached the door of the banquet hall, the floor manager greeted me.

I was a regular here. Most of the Pruitt family's various parties were ones I booked.

This time was no different. Normally I paid a deposit when I made the reservation.

But after hosting a few birthday parties for my in-laws, the split Rachel had agreed to always ended up coming out of my own pocket in the end.

And the credit for it all went to Kent.

I used to not mind these things. We were family, I figured, no need to keep score. But the way Cicely and my sister-in-law Rachel behaved today truly opened my eyes.

On my way out, I told the floor manager, "For tonight's balance, just go find someone named Rachel Pruitt. It's her daughter's birthday today."

The floor manager didn't argue, and I left with an easy heart.

Back home, I took a nice long bath. It had been ages since I'd soaked in the tub, so with a bit of time on my hands today, I did.

Maybe an hour passed. When I picked up my phone again, I found over thirty missed calls and dozens of messages.

What had happened?

I opened it and looked. Plenty of people had called: Cicely, Rachel, and of course Kent, plus a few numbers I hadn't saved.

I didn't know what they wanted, calling me like this, and I had no intention of calling back.

The messages were from the same handful of people.

I opened Kent's chat and saw what he'd written: Anita, you didn't settle the balance for tonight's party?

The next one: The floor manager came asking Rachel for it. Rachel was so angry her face went red. Hasn't Jared's birthday always been something you arranged?

Just because of one small thing today, you left early, and on top of that you dumped this whole mess on us. Rachel and Mom are about ready to lose it. Get back here, now.

What a joke. Why on earth would I listen to him and go back?

What Cicely and Rachel sent was more or less the same as Kent's, all of it criticizing me, and not one of them realizing they'd done anything wrong.

They set up the mess. They could clean it up themselves.

I opened the notes app on my phone. It was full of things I needed to take care of soon.

August 22, book Dad's medical checkup appointment. August 26, take him to get his dentures replaced.

September 1, pick up Mom's blood pressure medication.

September 3, Kent's checkup.

Notes like these, I organized every month. Keeping track of these things for the family had become my daily job ever since I got married.

It even included things about Rachel's household. A lot of that, I was the one keeping track of too.

Jared got a gift from Kent every year on her birthday, and that was only because I reminded him.

Now, thinking about it, what was the point of any of it?

Do it well, and the credit was Kent's. Do it poorly, and it was my fault. There was no point at all.

I thought about it for a moment, then deleted all the notes. From now on, I'd live only for myself.

Once the notes were cleared, I cleared my shopping cart too, because I noticed there wasn't a single thing in that full cart that I'd bought for myself. There wasn't even anything for my own parents.

While I was on my phone, Kent and Cicely kept calling, over and over, but I didn't pick up any of them.

I don't know when I fell asleep. Russ Walter had gone off with Kent, so there was nothing left for me to look after.

I was sleeping deeply when a hand yanked me up by brute force.

Kent was home.

"Anita, well done. We called you how many times and you didn't pick up a single one, and here you are, sleeping like a log."

"Do you have any idea how humiliated we were at the hotel?"

That was the line he threw at me most today, all of it blame and abuse.

Russ had already gone back to his room, but he must have heard the noise, because he ran back out, watching us with tears in his eyes.

"Daddy, Mommy, don't fight. Please don't fight."

His voice was thin with fear. Kent and I didn't fight often. We rarely even raised our voices.

So this, us like this, had probably frightened him.

"Kent, put Russ to bed first."

I bore the pain of his hand around my throat, almost pleading with him.

There was a hard edge coming off Kent. He turned to look at Russ, and though he didn't say a word, Russ was already scared enough to shrink back fast.

Watching my son slip quietly away, I felt something dull and heavy press against my chest, like it had been stuffed with cotton.

In that moment I felt like a complete failure of a mother.

Furious, I wrenched free of Kent's grip.

"Wonderful, Kent. All you can see is your family being humiliated. What was done to me, you didn't see at all."

He glared at me, his eyes full of disgust.

"What was done to you? Mom just brought up the bracelet, that's all. And yes, I did mention it to Jared once"

"You mentioned it. Even if you'd bought it, I wouldn't have minded. The problem is you didn't buy it, and your mother took it out on me, and you watched the whole thing and didn't say one word for me."

I cut him off. Thinking back to that suffocating feeling at the birthday party, my chest still clenched with the fear of it.

Kent frowned, like he thought I was making a mountain out of nothing.

"I didn't speak up for you, but you aired my dirty laundry in the group."

He said it like he had every right to.

That was the moment I finally saw Kent for exactly what he was.

I gave a bitter laugh and pulled out my phone to show him. "Just because I aired your dirty laundry in the group, your mother kicked me out of your family group chat. Relax, from now on nobody will ever make you lose face in front of your relatives again."

I didn't want to say another word to him. I got up off the bed. I had to go comfort Russ.

After hearing that, Kent scrolled through his phone again. At first he didn't believe I'd been removed from their family group chat.

Only when he couldn't find me in the member list did he finally believe it.

Then he came after me, phone still held up.

"Anita, could you not be so petty? Mom probably clicked the wrong thing. It's just a group chat. If it bothers you that much, I can add you back right now"

"Don't. Whatever you do, don't. If your group has some big secret and I happen to overhear it and it leaks and something goes wrong, I can't take the blame for that."

I stopped just short of saying I wouldn't want back into that miserable group of yours anyway.

I cut him off and walked into Russ's room.

Russ was curled up under the covers with his head hidden, and only when he heard me move did he carefully poke his little head out.

"Mommy"

Hearing him call for me, my tears spilled over at once. I climbed onto the bed, gathered him into my arms, and patted him gently.

Kent followed and stood in the doorway, about to say more, when I threw a pillow straight at him.

Cicely and my father-in-law, Theo Pruitt, heard us fighting and heard Russ crying, and neither of them came out to look.

I saw everything they did, and everything they didn't.

The next morning when I got up, I cooked only for Russ and me.

Once Russ was up, the two of us had a bowl each. Cicely and Theo were already awake.

This was their usual breakfast hour. In the past I always dished everything out and waited for them to come sit down and eat.

This morning they came over the same as always, expecting to sit and be served, but once they sat down they found the table bare.

Cicely blew up on the spot, one step short of jabbing a finger in my face.

"Anita, what's the meaning of this? Where's the food?"

I didn't look at her. I set the fried egg into Russ's bowl before I answered.

"Starting today, I'm not cooking for you anymore. And I'm not handling this family's affairs either."

As I spoke I pulled out the bank card and slapped it down on the table.

Cicely saw that and looked lost for a second. She traded a glance with Theo, then turned her temper back on me.

"Anita, just what are you playing at?"

I didn't care that Russ was still right beside me. I told him to eat, then turned to face Cicely.

"This card is Kent's. It's his paycheck card. His paycheck card has always been with me. But you don't need a bank card to buy things online, do you? No, you don't."

"Yesterday you said your son hands every cent he earns over to me. Go check the balance on this card right now."

"Every month I hold your son's empty card and use my own salary to take care of this whole household. Starting today, I'm done waiting on you."

Cicely's face went green with rage when she heard that.

She traded another glance with Theo, then swung her head back to glare at me.

"Anita, talking to us like this in front of your own son. Aren't you afraid he'll pick it up from you?"

Cicely rambled on, pulling in this and that, and I didn't take any of it to heart.

"You're so good at raising children. I don't see how well-behaved yours turned out."

I fired it back low and quiet, without leaving her the slightest face.

Kent and I had been married five years, and I had never once spoken to her like this.

Cicely was so angry she nearly fainted backward.

I asked Russ gently, "All full?"

Russ nodded, and then, under Cicely's stunned stare, we walked out.

Once we were out the door and into the elevator, Russ looked up at me. I knew a small child would have questions inside.

I couldn't let anything knot up in his heart, so I told him patiently, "Russ, do you think Mommy was mean to Grandma?"

Russ shook his head. "They're mean to you too. Yesterday at Jared's birthday party I heard Grandma and Auntie saying bad things about you. None of it was true."

I pulled his head against me. I didn't want grown-up business touching the child.

That they would badmouth me came as no surprise at all.

If everything I did was wrong anyway, why bother doing any of it?

For several mornings running I cooked only for Russ and me. In the evenings Russ ate at his kindergarten, and I had no appetite either, so once I got home I went straight to my room to work on my writing.

Cicely trailed at my heels day after day, nagging, but I let it all go in one ear and out the other.

Theo saw us fighting like this and sighed and groaned all day. As for Kent, he certainly knew what I was doing, but he never said it out loud, and I had no wish to speak to him.

At night I slept in Russ's room.

On August 22, Theo got up early and waited for me. "Anita, you still haven't sent me this year's checkup form."

In past years I'd given it to him a full week ahead.

I lifted my eyes to him. "Sorry, I didn't book one this year. Go have your son or your daughter arrange it."

The moment Theo heard that, his whole face went white.