Roommate Secretly Married, Remade Our Four-Person Dorm Into Wedding Room

After my 8 a.m. class let out, the roommate who'd left campus was already back.

She was sitting on her bright red bed, grinning like a fool, a marriage license in her hand, with big double-happiness decorations and red balloons on the desk.

The moment we walked in, we froze. What's going on with you? What is all this stuff?

My roommate hopped off the bed, thrilled. "Girls! Congratulate me! My boyfriend and I secretly got our marriage license! We're having our wedding in the dorm tomorrow, and you're back just in time!"

"Help me blow up these balloons, and hang this golden-boy-and-jade-girl picture up top! My parents don't approve, so I already worked it out with the dorm supervisor. She's coming over for the greeting tea tomorrow, and I'll call her 'Mom.' And when the bikes for the wedding procession show up tomorrow, you'll all see me off!"

The three of us traded looks, none of us able to believe our ears.

"Whatwhat are you talking about? You're joking, right?"

Chloe was still lost in her own world. She blew up a balloon and held it up by the bed. "Hey, look, doesn't it look nice hanging here?"

Then she grabbed a double-happiness cutout and held it against the wall. "What do you think, is it better stuck here, or up by the headboard?"

It took us forever to snap out of it; even our breathing had gone very quiet.

I couldn't believe it. It took me a long time to find my voice. "Areare you insane?"

Chloe didn't answer me. She just kept fussing away on her own. "I still think the golden boy and jade girl look better on the headboard, it's luckier. What do you guys think?"

She turned around, her eyes full of anticipation.

The three of us stood frozen in the doorway, and it took us a while to finally inch inside.

Before this, I'd only thought she was a little crazy when it came to relationshipsotherwise she seemed pretty rational.

Looking at the double-happiness decorations all over the room, I couldn't get a single word out. My whole worldview felt like it had been plastered on the wall right along with her decorations.

Marjorie almost laughed out loud. She grabbed a balloon and started blowing. "That's great, congrats! Where should I hang it?"

Chloe latched onto Marjorie's arm and gushed, "Oh my god, girl, you're the best! Don't worry, you won't be doing it for nothing. After the wedding tomorrow, I'll treat you all to a banquet!"

"There's a banquet, too?"

Chloe nodded. "That's right! It's being held in two places, it's going to be huge!"

I couldn't help asking, "Which two places? Your hometowns?"

"As if! My parents don't approve. If they found out, they'd kill me! It's being held in both the men's dorm and the women's dorm! Ugh, no more talking, hurry up and help me decorate. I'm going out to borrow a dress. The other day I saw a girl in the next room over wearing a white poofy dressit'd be perfect for picking me up for the wedding!"

She rushed out the door, and the three of us sat on the edge of the bed, staring at each other.

Marjorie was the first to crack up. "I told you she's got something wrong with her head, and you wouldn't believe me! Hahahaha! Whatever, let her do her thing."

Marjorie shoved the double-happiness cutout at Naomi and handed me the poster of the two kids.

The next morning, Chloe woke us up bright and early.

"Marjorie, you're good at makeup, do my bridal look. Naomi, get the filter on your phone set up, and start recording the second I head out."

Behind them, I wrote "Bride, Bridesmaid, Photographer" on scraps of paper and pinned them to our chestsinstant name tags.

Chloe grandly called it: keeping everything simple.

I nearly laughed out loud looking at the bridesmaid tag dangling off my chest.

"Oh ho! Oh ho! Ho ho ho!"

A round of monkey hollering came from downstairs, loud and chattering.

Chloe suddenly lit up. "The wedding procession's here!"

Seeing us stunned, she explained, "Oh come on, the school won't let us set off firecrackers, so we came up with this insteadit's like firecrackers. My husband should be here by now, right?"

I pulled back the curtain and looked. Two full rows of shared bikes were parked downstairs.

A dozen or so guys were waiting down there.

My scalp went numb. "Yeah. Your husband's here."

As we headed downstairs, Chloe almost took a tumble.

She hitched up her loose dress and grumbled, "This borrowed dress just doesn't fit. Later I'll have my husband buy me a nice one."

Naomi and I didn't say a word the whole way, but Marjorie played along. "Well, your husband sure treats you right."

Chloe couldn't have been happier.

The dorm supervisor was in the first room on the ground floor. Chloe waved. "You all go wait by the wedding car first. My husband and I will do the greeting tea and be right out."

Once we were out of the dorm building, I stared at the two rows of shared bikes and said nothing.

The guy on the bike was pretty gracious. "Hop on, sis, we're going to be family from now on."

I gave an awkward smile. "No need, I'll just scan one for myself."

When they came out, the groom waved grandly. "You all worked so hard escorting Chloe today. HereChloe, I'll Venmo you twenty-four bucks. You can each buy your girls a bottle of soda later!"

The second Maxwell said that, the guys next to him started whooping it up.

"Maxwell, what a class act!"

"His wife's family has got to be taken care of right!"

I did the math in my headtwenty-four dollars, four people, six each, just enough for one bottle of cheap bottled soda.

Chloe, though, was so touched she could barely stand it. She linked her arm through Maxwell's and beamed. "See, I told you my husband's generous."

Maxwell waved it off like it was nothing. "It's the least I can do. You all worked hard escorting Chloe today. We're all family now, so don't stand on ceremony with me."

Marjorie nodded, holding back a laugh. "Thank you, then."

Hearing herself treated like real family made Chloe even happier. She took Marjorie's hand. "See? I told you he's such a good person, right? He may not have money now, but being a good person matters more than anything."

Naomi and I traded a look and, by unspoken agreement, kept quiet.

The wedding party didn't head straight to dinner. Chloe said there was still the most important ceremony to hold, so we followed them out to the athletic field.

It was the middle of the afternoon, so they didn't dare go anywhere crowded. They picked the shadiest spot at the very back.

A dozen or so shared bikes were parked in a neat row nearby. A few guys carried Bluetooth speakers over from the dorm and tied some red balloons to a tree.

Someone asked if they should set up a red carpet, but Maxwell looked down at his feet. "No need. This rubber track is already red."

It dawned on the group all at once, and they all praised him for being so thoughtful, so good at making a dollar stretch.

I glanced down at my own feet and realized for the first time that if you just rename something, you really can save a whole lot of money.

The moment the wedding march started playing, students passing by all turned to look.

Two girls stopped to take pictures.

Chloe quickly fixed her hair. "Naomi, you take pictures too. Send them to me laterI want to keep them as a keepsake."

One of Maxwell's roommates used a water bottle as a microphone, cleared his throat, and announced, "Dear friends and family, welcome to the wedding of Mr. Maxwell Dickerson and Ms. Chloe Finch."

The crowd immediately broke into whoops and cheers.

Chloe stood beside Maxwell holding up her ill-fitting white dress. The waistband kept sliding down, and she had to keep sneaking her hands up to tug it back.

The emcee asked the groom to say his vows. Maxwell took Chloe's hand, his expression unusually serious.

"Chloe, it wasn't easy for us to make it to today. Your parents never approved, but I believe that as long as the two of us truly love each other, there's no obstacle we can't get past."

Chloe's tears were already falling. "And besides, we've already met each other's resident advisors, so it's all official and aboveboard now."

When I heard that, I couldn't help glancing at Marjorie, and she was already looking at me.

Since when did meeting the resident advisor make anything official and aboveboard?

Marjorie's lips moved slightly, mouthing without sound, "Don't ask."

Maxwell went on. "From now on, I'll treat you right. As long as I've got a bite to eat, I'll never let you go hungry. We don't have much right now, but I'll work hard in the future, and I'll make everyone who doubted us regret it."

A few guys nearby broke into applause.

"Well said!"

"Marry him already, wifey!"

Maxwell took a deep breath and shouted, "Chloe, marry me!"

Chloe burst into tears right there. "I do!"

She threw herself into Maxwell's arms, sobbing so hard she could barely breathe.

Applause erupted at once, and some people even started making firecracker noises. "Pow! Pow-pow!"

"Kiss her!"

"Give the bride a kiss!"

I stood at the back of the crowd, the handwritten "bridesmaid" tag still pinned to my chest, feeling like I'd wandered into some kind of large-scale performance art piece.

And yet every single one of them was dead serious.

The emcee waited until they'd hugged long enough, then moved on with the program.

"Next, the bride and groom will exchange rings!"

The place suddenly went silent. Maxwell froze, and so did Chloe.

The emcee held out his hand to Maxwell. "The rings?"

Maxwell patted down every pocket, then scratched his head awkwardly. "Forgot to buy them."

The emcee was floored, and muttered to him under his breath, "You're getting married and you didn't buy a ring?"

Chloe jumped in for him right away. "It's fine, a ring is just a formality. We don't care about that stuff."

That was all well and good, but they'd gotten this far in the program, so the guys started scrounging around for something.

Someone suggested a keychain ring, someone said twist two out of wire, and another guy dug two staples out of his backpack, saying they could be bent into circles.

Then one guy's eyes landed on the sodas in our hands. "Got it! Got it, got it, got it!"

Before Marjorie could react, he'd already grabbed two cans and yanked the pull-tabs right off.

"Aren't these rings?"

Maxwell's eyes lit up. "That works."

The two soda-can pull-tabs were solemnly presented to the newlyweds.

Maxwell took one and slid it onto Chloe's ring finger.

It didn't fit.

He pushed on it a couple more times, and Chloe sucked in a sharp breath from the pain.

"Guess it's a little small."

In the end it would only go on her pinkie.

Chloe looked down at the pull-tab, and the tears came again.

"Honey, this means more to me than a diamond ring."

Maxwell hugged her, moved. "Once we have money someday, I'll buy you a real one."

"No need."

Chloe shook her head. "I love this one. It's proof that we went through hard times together."

The people around them all applauded.

Marjorie stood next to me and whispered, "That soda was the one I drank out of."

I quickly nudged her with my elbow. "Don't go ruining their proof of love."

She nearly laughed out loud.

After the wedding, I thought we could finally eat, but instead a few guys hauled out a folding table, pulled out a notebook and a ballpoint pen, and started recording the gift money.

"Wang Hao, twenty."

"Liu Qianggui, eighteen."

"Zhao Lei, twenty-five."

The gift amounts were all over the place, and the guy keeping the ledger was extremely diligent about it.

When it came to one guy, he handed over thirty-five dollars. "Vivian Chavez, thirty-five."

The bookkeeper looked up. "How do you spell Vivian?"

Vivian pressed his lips together slightly. "Vivian, V-I-V."

"How do you spell that?"

The two of them puzzled over it for a long time. Chloe was off to the side sorting the gift money and said without looking up, "Oh, just spell it out. Just write the sounds, that's fine."

The guy had a sudden lightbulb moment and bent down to write "Chavez" after Warren.

Chloe made a point of adding, "Write it clearly, okay? When people get married someday we've got to return the gift, and we can't have any trouble over it."

Only after the gift ledger was done did Chloe call us over.

"Come on, let's eat!"

At the gazebo beside the athletic field, Maxwell's roommate pulled several big plastic bags out of a rental bike's basket. Inside were all kinds of boxed meals. Chloe pushed one box at each of us.

I glanced downegg fried noodles. The delivery slip said eight dollars.

She leaned in all secretively and whispered to us, "You guys get special treatment. Everyone else is sharing one box between two people, but you each get your own. Pretty generous, right?"

I followed her gaze, and sure enough, two guys were squatting under a tree sharing one box of fried noodles.

One of them was eating a little too fast, and the other told him to take less so there'd be a couple of bites left over.

Marjorie was quiet for two seconds. "Generous."

"Really generous."

Chloe smiled, satisfied. "Of course. You're my side of the familyhow could I ever shortchange you?"

She dug several pairs of disposable chopsticks out of the bag.

"And your chopsticks are all brand new. A few of them are using ones they grabbed from the cafeteria."

Chloe carried her fried noodles over and sat down next to Maxwell, and the two of them fed each other bite by bite.

The afternoon was brutally hot; even the wind on the field felt scorching. If they wanted to bake out there, that was up to them.

I really wasn't in the mood to keep fooling around with her out here, so I made an excuse and slipped off.

I set down the fried noodles and headed back to the dorm.

When I got to the door, I noticed that at some point another red double-happiness cutout had been added to it.

Yesterday Chloe had dragged us into decorating until midnightblowing up balloons, sticking up double-happiness decorationsand we hadn't slept all night. Then this morning she got us up before dawn to do our makeup. I was so sleepy I could barely keep my eyes open, so once I got back I dropped straight into bed.

I don't know how long I'd been asleep when a jumble of noise suddenly came from outside.

"This is the room, right?"

"Yeah, there's still a double-happiness cutout on the door."

"How did it get like this inside?"

I cracked my eyes open, half asleep, and heard the dorm supervisor and some student council people talking outside.

Chloe really had made too big a scene today.

A dozen-plus guys had stood under the women's dorm imitating firecracker pops, two rows of rental bikes were parked at the entrance, and the room was plastered with red balloons and double-happiness decorations. It would've been hard not to draw attention.

When the student council came for the dorm inspection, they found the room a total wreck and took photos right there.

Before long, the resident advisor had heard about it too.

Our room got written up, and all four of us had our parents called to the school.

The moment Chloe heard our parents were being called, her face changed.

"We're all adults. Why do you still have to call our parents? Can't you let me have a little sense of ceremony? Honestly, I think you're just jealous."

The student council wasn't having it. "Are you out of your mind? Go have your ceremony somewhere else. Don't tear up the dorm building."

I was just too tired. After listening for a bit, I rolled over and drifted back to sleep.

The next time I woke up, it was to a sharp, furious shout.

"Chloe Finch!"

My eyes snapped open, my heart pounding.

A woman was shrieking out in the room. I lifted a corner of my bed curtain, took one glance, and lay back down.

It had nothing to do with me anyway.

"What in the world is all this?!"

"The school called me in, and I thought something terrible had happened to youwhat are you girls doing in here? Have you lost your minds?!"

Chloe's voice was flustered. "Oh, Mom, keep it down."

"Why should I keep it down? The school called me directly! Your father and I sent you to college so you could study!"

I didn't make a sound, but I'd already pretty much guessed what was going on.

Chloe rushed to explain, "Mom, don't get mad yet. This has nothing to do with me."

Her mother went still. "Nothing to do with you?"

"Right."

Chloe's voice got smaller and smaller. "Isn't the whole thing these days that kids are free to marry whoever they want? We're all adults now. And we do fine in our classeswe only helped out because we share a room and there was no way around it."

Her mother visibly relaxed. "I knew you couldn't do something like that."

Chloe said nothing, so her mother asked again, "Then whose are these double-happiness cutouts?"

"Someone else's."

"Whose?"

The room was silent for a few seconds, and then came Chloe's voice. "Hers."

Before I could even react, she added one more thing.

"The one still sleeping in bed over there."

My eyes flew open. Who was she talking about?

"She was set on marrying her boyfriend. We share a dorm room, and she kept begging us for help, so we couldn't say no. We just helped her set up a little."

I stared at my bed curtain, unable to believe my ears, and lay there without moving for a long time.

Chloe's mother walked around the dorm room, her tone growing more and more disgusted. "College students these days really have no decency."

"Your parents send you to school to study and learn something useful, not to run around like tramps!"

Marjorie, who had just gotten back, stopped short. "Ma'am, don't you think that's out of line?"

Mrs. Finch blew up on the spot. "I'm out of line? So you'll do it but you won't own up to it?"

She looked Marjorie up and down. "A girl your age, have you no shame at all!"

Marjorie's face went hard. "Who exactly are you talking about?"

"Whoever did this, that's who!"

Her mother grabbed hold of Chloe. "Let me tell you something. You may have no shame, but my daughter does! My Chloe has been a good girl since she was little, the most obedient, with her nose in her books all day. When would she ever do something this disgraceful?"

Chloe stood off to the side without even lifting her head, while her mother got more and more worked up.

"You live with my daughtercan't you learn something from my Chloe? So young, and all you think about day and night is men. What kind of future is that going to get you!"

She spotted the golden-boy-and-jade-girl poster on the wall, yanked it down, and with a ripping sound tore it in two.

"You even put this up? Shameless! Have you no decency!"

Marjorie couldn't take it anymore. "Ma'am, you should be asking your daughter."

Without a second's thought, her mother snapped back, "Pah! Don't you dare drag my Chloe through the mud! You think I don't know what my own daughter is like?"

She turned and looked at Chloe with an aching heart. "Chloe, sweetheart, do they bully you all the time? You're just too honest, that's the problem. Stuck with a bunch of no-good slackers like thiswhat a hard time you've had."

Chloe's eyes darted away. "Ugh, Mom... justjust let it go."

Her mother instantly got emotional. "See that! My daughter has such a good heartshe's still sticking up for you people even now!"

Finally, I pulled back my bed curtain and sat up. Marjorie glanced at me. "You're awake?"

I sighed. "With all this racket, how could I not be?"

When Chloe saw me, she looked away, clearly guilty. I ignored her mother and just stared at her, asking quietly.

"Chloe, don't you have something to say?"

She opened her mouth, but in the end no sound came out.

Her mother immediately planted herself in front of her, dead set on backing her up. "What's that supposed to mean? Are you trying to threaten my Chloe?"

She looked me up and down and sneered. "You don't even look like a decent person."

The smile on my face froze for a second. "Ma'am, watch what you say."

"What, am I wrong?"

She said it without a shred of doubt. "My Chloe just told me she can't stand you anymore, that she even wanted to apply to move to a different dorm to get away from you! A bad student like youstop dragging my Chloe down with you!"

Marjorie was so furious she wanted to curse her out, but I stopped her before she could open her mouth.

Mrs. Finch kept going. "A girl marrying some random man at schooldidn't your mother ever teach you to have some shame and act like a decent person?"

I grabbed a cup and threw it on the floor. "Enough! Chloe!"

She finally looked up. I stared straight at her. "I'm asking you one last time. Do you have anything to say?"

She bit her lip, her eyes going red.

But her mother cut me off. "That's it, quit trying to bully her, quit trying to scare people. You've got the nerve? Throw it at my head, then!"

"Chloe, don't be scared, Mom's right here. Nobody's going to bully you!"

I watched her shrink back behind her mother, took a deep breath, and knew I'd hit my limit.

"You won't talk? Fine. Then I'll say it for you."

I got out of bed, but before I could get a word out, there were more footsteps at the door.

The other parents were arriving one after another.

Marjorie's mother had barely walked into the dorm when she sensed something was off, and frowned. "What's going on here?"

Like she'd found herself an ally, Mrs. Finch rushed straight over and flung out her hand, pointing our way.

"Which one of you is her parent? Who? Who is it! Quit playing dead! Get out here! Don't you people teach your kids what self-respect and dignity mean at home?"

Mrs. Finch was like a woman possessed, spinning around looking for someone, cursing out anyone she laid eyes on. "So young, and getting married in a dorm! Even pigs know to breed inside a pigpen! But notwo grown adults going at it right here in the dorm. How disgusting is that!"

She got more and more worked up, then ripped the double-happiness decorations off the dorm door.

I followed her out just as my mom came up from the stairwell.

She looked at me and hurried right over. My mom swept her eyes around the dorm room, her face tight. "Honey, what's going on?"

I was about to speak when Mrs. Finch cut in ahead of me. "Oh~ so you're her mother! You kept yourself well hidden!"

My mom paused. "I am. Is there something you need?"

"Well, you'd better get your daughter under control!"

She pointed at me, then at my mom. "Your daughter has no shameshe married some random man at school. Did you know that? How do you raise your kids? If you won't discipline her, plenty of other people will do it for you down the road!"

My mom's face darkened at once. "You quit slandering people here and get your story straight first."

"What's left to get straight?"

She wouldn't give my mom or me a chance to say a word. She turned and went back into the dorm, then kicked a red plastic washbasin out from under the desk, her face full of contempt. "Just look at this!"

She held the basin up with two fingers so every student and parent in the hallway could get a good look. "A red washbasin! Cost all of three bucks, did it?"

Finally she threw the basin down at my mom's feet and gave a scornful snort. "Is your daughter really that cheap?"

The students crowding around to watch the show were all whispering among themselves, snapping picture after picture of our dorm room.

My mom held her anger in check. "I don't need to hear it from you. Let my daughter speak first."

"Speak about what? The facts are right here in front of you!"

Mrs. Finch patted her chest for emphasis. "If I had a daughter like that, I'd beat her to death on the spot! My Chloe would never do something like this. How do you think I raised her all these years? The most important thing for a girl is self-respect and dignity!"

She got more and more agitated. "If something like this happened to my Chloe, I couldn't show my face again. I wouldn't say a wordI'd go throw myself in the river!"