Back to the Eighties: Clearing My Mother's Disgraced Name

The day after the news of my father's death arrived,

my mother was found by the whole village lying in the same bed as my disabled uncle.

Even though nothing had happened, everyone still called my mother an adulteress who'd take any man.

Grandma gave her two choices: die, or marry my uncle.

My mom looked at the rat poison on the nightstand and at me, and cried for half a month while clutching my dad's photo. In the end, she chose the latter.

But on the day of her wedding to my uncle, my dad came home covered in injuries.

My dad refused to believe my mom would betray him, and was determined to get to the truth.

Grandma, though, grabbed a kitchen knife and blocked him from seeing my mom.

"A man as fine as you will have no trouble finding another wife. Do you know how much effort it took me to get her to nod yes?"

"Besides, what's worth clinging to in a woman like thatso shameless she couldn't stand the loneliness the moment her husband died?"

My father broke down completely, and in the end he took his own life.

After my father died, my mother lived like a walking corpse for ten years.

Never for a moment did she stop regretting her "shamelessness."

After I grew up, she drank that same rat poison and went to join my father

When I opened my eyes again,

I was back at the moment my mother learned of my father's death.

I looked at my mother and spoke firmly.

"Don't cry! If he's alive we'll see his face, if he's dead we'll see his body."

"Whether Dad is dead or alive, we'll go bring him home together."

One:

Grandma Iris Finch had finally coaxed my mom into taking the sugar water she'd laced with drugs.

But my wordsif he's alive we see his face, if he's dead we see his bodyfroze my mom in place. She wept for a while, murmured to herself that I was right, then set the sugar water down and struggled to her feet to pack.

Iris Finch's eyes flared red with panic in an instant.

"What does a little brat like you know?"

"You've read that letter a dozen times. It says it plain as dayArthur fell off a cliff saving someone. That cliff is impossibly high, and there are wild beasts down below. How could he possibly still be alive?"

"He's already dead, and there's nothing left of his body. What are you going to go bring back?"

As she spoke, she pressed my mom back down onto the bed and handed her the sugar water from the nightstand.

"Arthur is gone. If you won't live properly and keep running wild with Jenny, do you mean to let Jenny lose her father and then her mother too?"

"Drink this sugar water nowif not for yourself, then for Jenny!"

My mother's eyes were a pool of dead water, but they stirred when she heard my name. She nodded stiffly, took the sugar water, and was about to drink.

Something felt wrong.

Many years had passed, but I still remembered that day clearly. My mother took a few sips of the sugar water, then gave the rest to me to drinkand after we finished it, we both fell fast asleep.

When we woke up, my mother had become the "loose woman" everyone talked about!

So there had to be something wrong with this bowl of sugar water.

Without a second thought I rushed over, pretending to be falling apart and knocking the bowl of sugar water flying as if by accident, then shouted at Iris Finch.

"The comic book Tom and I read said soif you fall off a cliff you don't die."

"Grandma, why are you cursing my dad to die? Does my dad dying somehow do you some good?"

Iris Finch had been staring hard at the sugar water in my mother's hand. When she saw it knocked away and heard me hit right on her secret, she cracked.

Without thinking, she slapped me across the face.

"You're talking nonsense."

The slap actually wasn't hard, and I could easily have dodged it, but I pretended it hurt terribly and then threw myself with all my strength into a stone jutting out from the wall, drawing blood at once.

"Mom, helpGrandma's going to kill me!"

"Grandma always said I was a money-loser. She won't give us any of the money Dad sent home, and now, when we don't even know what's happened to Dad, she wants to kill me!"

My mom hadn't eaten or drunk anything all day.

But when she saw the blood on my forehead, she came alive at once.

"Mother, what Jenny said really is far-fetched, yes, but she only wants her father to be alive. How could you strike her so hard?"

"Even without Arthur, I can raise Jenny on my own."

"If you keep this up, I'll take Jenny back to my parents' house right now!"

Iris Finch had no way to defend herself and stamped her feet in fury, but people kept coming by to pay their respects to my father, so she didn't dare make a scene. She quickly put on a smile and apologized.

"I was just so heartbroken I didn't know my own strength."

"Here's what we'll doyou bandage Jenny up, and I'll make you some steamed egg custard. You need to eat something to have the strength to go bring Arthur home."

With that, Iris Finch left our room, unwilling.

The moment she was gone, I broke free of my mother's arms, ran to lock the door from the inside, and then took out the milk candy my dad had bought me last month.

"Mom, eat this."

"And whatever Grandma brings over next, you can't eat any of it!"

My mom froze for a moment.

No one knows a daughter better than her mother, and she'd already thought the way I'd just acted was very strange.

So she asked, a little confused.

"Jenny, what's wrong?"

"Mom knows you don't want anything to happen to Dad, and that you've never liked Grandma, but Grandma is only doing this for our own good!"

"I saw it just now too. Grandma really only gave you a light little pushyou threw yourself into it. Why would you do that?"

I really wanted to tell my mom everything.

To tell her that Iris Finch had been pleased with her from the very first day she came into the housethat she thought her kind, gentle, and pretty, easy to control, a perfect match for her disabled youngest son, Rhys Norris.

That my dad falling off the cliff was real, but the letter was fake.

She knew my father was badly hurt and wouldn't be home for another two weeks, so she deliberately had someone switch the letters. Then, using the sugar-water scheme, she'd make my mother brand herself an adulteress, and force her to marry Rhys for my sake!

My mother, right up until she died,

still believed she'd been so overcome with grief that she'd lost the memory of crawling into another man's bed. Especially after my father killed himself, she lived buried in regret, like a walking corpse.

But I'm little now. If I said I'd been reborn, my mom wouldn't believe me.

There'd been a man in the village once who claimed he could see the future just to get out of working the fields. He told it so convincingly, but not a single person in the village believed himthey insisted he was possessed, and in the end they made him eat manure a few times.

If I came out and said I'd been reborn,

my mom might well think I just couldn't bear to lose my dad, so I was seeing things. And once she had that thought, nothing I said afterward would ever get through to her.

I was getting anxious, until I saw the little mouthful of sugar water still left in the broken bowl on the groundand just like that, I had an idea.

I quietly opened the door and carried in the big yellow cat that was sunning itself by the doorway. I let it lick a few mouthfuls of the sugar water. Even though it only licked a couple of times, the cat still wobbled and passed out.

At first my mom had no idea what I was doing.

But when she saw the cat pass out, she was badly frightened.

"Don't tell me your grandma wants to send the two of us off to keep your dad company?"

I shook my head and did my best to keep a child's tone.

"Mom, this isn't poisonit's a drug that makes you fall asleep."

"After the news of Dad's death came, people kept coming to the house, so when I got hungry I had to go to the kitchen for water myself. While I was drinking, I happened to hear Grandma telling my uncle that she was going to give you this sugar water so you'd fall asleep."

My mother is kind-hearted, so of course she couldn't imagine Iris's vicious idea.

So after thinking it over, she actually decided Iris meant well.

"Your grandma really is going to a lot of trouble for me."

"She's afraid my body won't hold up if I don't eat or drink or sleep, so she wants me to get some real rest."

I shook my head over and over, so anxious the tears were about to spill out.

"No!"

"Grandma said more than that."

"She said once you drink this and fall asleep, your shoes will get broken. And she said once your shoes are broken, the people who come to mourn Dad will see your ruined shoes, and then you'll have no choice but to marry my uncle."

"She also said that once you marry my uncle, she'll send me away to go be with my dad."

"So I'm certain Dad can't be dead. If he were, how could I ever be sent to go be with him!"

My mother stared at me for a moment. These words couldn't possibly have come from a child like me, so she quickly understood what Iris Finch was after!

She might be simple, but she wasn't stupid.

In all the years since she'd married into the family, Iris had told her more than once that Rhys was disabled and couldn't find a wife, and that she, as his brother's wife, should take good care of him.

Once, Iris had even said that over in the next county there was a woman who, so her crippled brother-in-law could carry on the family line, had taken it upon herself to bear him a son, and was hailed as the whole family's savior.

Because that had actually happened.

So my mother had just assumed Iris was talking idly and hadn't thought much of it.

But now, after hearing what I said, she understood Iris's intentions perfectly. Iris wanted to drug her, and then use the whole village to brand her a loose woman.

As for sending me to my father's place, that could mean my father wasn't deadbut it could just as easily mean Iris found me in the way and wanted me killed!

Once she grasped this.

My mother steadied herself and immediately began packing.

But she'd barely started when Iris heard the commotion and came in. And she wasn't aloneRhys came too.

Iris looked at the luggage on the bed.

"Where do you two think you're going?"

It was broad daylight, so I wasn't afraid, and I spoke calmly.

"We're going to bring Dad home."

"Dad's all alone out there. He must be so lonely. Even if we can't find him, we can bring his things back home."

What I said made sense, but of course Iris wouldn't allow it.

"Have you lost your mind? I think you two have just gotten wild ideasyou figure now that Arthur's dead you can run off!"

Then she threw open the courtyard gate and ushered in the villagers who had come to pay their respects to my father.

"You've got to see justice done for an old woman like me! Arthur's body is barely cold, and this fine daughter-in-law of mine is already packing her bags to run off."

"She must have had a lover all along, just waiting for Arthur to be gone so the two of them could run away together!"

My mother had no gift for words; all she could do was keep saying it wasn't true.

I knew that if this kept up, my mother was likely to blurt out the thing about the sugar water, which would only cause far more trouble.

So I stepped forward at once.

"Grandma, I know it hurts you to lose Dad, and you don't want to lose Mom and me too."

"But we've already told youwe're going to bring Dad home. Once we've brought him back, we'll still be a family. Mom and I will never leave you."

After hearing what I said, quite a few villagers started wiping away tears.

That's right, fallen leaves return to their roots. Arthur may have met his end out there, but it wouldn't be right not to bring him back for burial in the family plot!

Get your bags packed, and I'll take you there right now.

Aunt Iris, Arthur's wife isn't that kind of woman. She's not running awayshe's going to bring Arthur home.

Seeing that everyone was on our side.

Iris had no grounds to stop us. After thinking it over, she took out a few dollars and handed them to my mother.

"You're right, we do need to go and bring Arthur home."

"But Jenny is still little, and she's got that injury on her head, so the trip will surely be hard on her."

"Here's what we'll do: you take the money and go with Rhys to bring Arthur home."

Iris Finch's words made sense too.

The villagers all nodded, and no one spoke up for us anymore.

But I knew this was even more dangerous than staying home. At least at home, a villager still dropped by once in a while. Once we were out on the road, there was no telling what might happen.

My mom couldn't stop worrying about me either, so after hesitating a moment, she quickly spoke up.

"Then I'll send word to my brother back home, and we'll go together once he arrives, so we'll have someone to look out for us on the way."

"But I've been too selfish. Losing Arthur's mother, you've grieved even harder than I have, and yet you've still been taking care of me. That's not right of me. So from now on, let me be the one to take care of you."

And that was that.

The plan to go meet my dad was put on hold for now. For my sake, and for her own, my mom pulled herself together. She started cooking every day, cutting off any chance for Iris to drug her.

We wanted to leave more times than I could count, but Iris and Rhys wouldn't let us out of the house at all.

Still, they didn't openly turn on us. For one thing, people passed by the door now and then. For another, what they wanted was for my mom to willingly believe she was a loose woman, and to willingly marry Rhys.

But they were afraid that dragging it out would give the whole thing time to go wrong.

So before we could even come up with a plan, Iris and Rhys had already decided they weren't going to wait for my mom to be "willing" anymore.

I overheard their plan and went straight to my mom.

"You never drank the sugar water, so they know we've caught on."

"Tonight they're going to pick the lock and come in."

"We have to strike first. Tonight's dinneryou have to put this in it!"

My mom didn't ask where I'd gotten the drug. She just gritted her teeth and slipped it into Iris and Rhys's food. They didn't suspect a thing. They ate every bite, then slept like the dead.

As their snoring got louder and louder, my mom and I picked up our bags and quietly opened the door. We didn't dare linger, didn't dare waste a single second, so we bolted for the front gate.

But the moment my hand touched the handle of the gate

I knew something was wrong. Somehow the gate wouldn't open, and Iris and Rhys's steady snoring had stopped!

My head went numb, and cold sweat broke out all over me.

"Mom, get back inside, quick."

I dragged my mom back into the room, but after I shut the door, I realized something else was wrong.

Sure enough, when I turned around, Iris was standing by the bed.

"Where do you two think you're going in the dead of night?"

I immediately tried to pull my mom to open the door and get out, but Rhys was already at the doorway, cutting us off from it.

"You little brat, did you really think we didn't notice you eavesdropping on us?"

"All you actually stole was flour."

I was sick with regret, cursing myself for taking them too lightly.

My mom stayed fairly calm. She pulled out a knife and held it across her own throat.

"If you dare lay a hand on me, I'll cut my throat right now."

Rhys stepped forward, trying to talk my mom down.

"Sister-in-law, I may be a cripple, but I swear I'll treat you well."

My mom wouldn't lower the knife, looking ready to die on the spot. But Iris only smiled. She took out a length of rope, and while I was still trying to think of something, she dropped it right over my neck.

"Go ahead. Cut your throat, then."

"Once you're dead, I'll tie your daughter up and sell her. The money from that will be more than enough to get Rhys a wife."

"Die with your good name, or marry my Rhys and raise your daughter. Your choice."