The Heart You Borrowed Burns My Remaining Life

On the day my mother died, I walked in on my husband, Lambert Stephens, in bed with his student, Deidre Henson.

I lost control, fell down the stairs, and hemorrhaged badly in a difficult labor.

My brother, Les Pruitt, beat Lambert savagely, then pointed at Deidre's face and cursed her.

If anything happens to my sister, you two dogs are going to the grave with her!

I survived, but my baby was gone.

Lambert knelt at my bedside, begging my forgiveness.

"I'll send Deidre abroad and cut it off completely. Forgive me this once, and let's live a good life together."

I agreed.

But ever since then, I began having hallucinations.

Whenever I saw other people's children on the street, I would stop and stare at them for a long time.

Every child's eyes and brows looked exactly like the one I'd lost.

I became a regular at the hospital's psychiatric department.

Until one day, I ended my session early and took a taxi home alone.

Through the window, I actually saw Deidre Henson, Lambert Stephens, and Les Pruitt.

They were celebrating a five-year-old boy's birthday.

Les's voice came, full of feeling. "Thank goodness Eleanor's baby's heart was transplanted into him back then, or he'd never have lived to this day."

"It's just been hard on Deidre and Harvey, having to live away all these years."

Section 1

Les's words were like a bucket of ice water poured over my head, and I felt as if I'd fallen into an ice pit.

The little boy blew out the candles, looked up at Lambert, and whined.

"Why can't I live here! I want to be with Daddy!"

Lambert crouched down to soothe him.

"Harvey, be good, don't fuss."

I couldn't bear to keep watching, so I turned and left.

The night wind blew, and I went cold all over and shivered.

I wandered aimlessly to the park and sat down on a bench.

Memories flooded back like a tide.

Six years ago, I had just finished my mother's funeral.

I came home and walked in on Lambert and his student Deidre Henson lying in bed.

I lost control, fell down the stairs, and hemorrhaged badly in a difficult labor.

Les stormed into the hospital, beat Lambert savagely, then pointed at Deidre's face and cursed.

"If anything happens to my sister, you two dogs are going to the grave with her!"

My life was saved.

But my baby was gone.

Lambert knelt by the bed, his eyes red, and said he would send Deidre abroad at once, cut it off completely, and never see her again.

I believed him.

But after that, I was left with a condition.

I couldn't bear to see children. Any child's face on the street would remind me of the one who didn't survive.

Everyone gave in to me.

They looked at me with pity, treading carefully, afraid a single word might wound me.

My mind was full of the image of that boy just now calling Lambert "Daddy," and my heart felt like it was being crushed in someone's grip.

So it turned out Lambert and Deidre had never broken it off at all, and had even had a child.

So it turned out my baby had been cut open, that heart taken out and placed inside another child's body.

So it turned out my own brother, my closest kin, had known everything from start to finish, helping Lambert and Deidre keep it from me for six years.

Tears struck the back of my hand, and the pain was so sharp I could barely breathe.

I bent over and pressed hard against my chest.

I don't know how long passed before my phone suddenly rang.

Lambert's gentle voice came through the receiver.

"Eleanor, the doctor said you left early on your own. Where are you?"

I bit my lip and tried to keep my voice steady.

"There are stars out tonight. I'm walking in the park."

He said gently,

"It's turned colder lately. Don't stay out too long, come home soon."

After I hung up, my feet felt like they weighed a thousand pounds as I walked, step by step, back to that so-called home.

I pushed open the door, and the place had been put back the way it always looked.

All those balloons and streamers were gone, as if everything I'd seen through the window had been a hallucination.

I stood at the entryway without moving, my gaze landing on the crack in the sofa.

There was a red toy car there.

Lambert followed my gaze, reached over and pulled out the toy car, his tone offhand.

"I spent a while this afternoon playing with a coworker's kid. He kept insisting on riding on my shoulders. It probably fell out then."

He glanced at me and smiled.

"What, are you starting to imagine things again?"

My throat tightened.

"No."

He walked over, unlocked his phone, and set it in my palm.

"For six years I've clocked in and out on time every single day and handed over every paycheck. You've got nothing to worry about. Here, look through my phone, all of it."

No password, the chat history spotless, my name pinned at the top.

But the phone case had changed.

A frosted one, a limited-edition couple's case that had gotten really popular online lately.

I handed the phone back to him.

"No need to look. I'm tired, I'm going to rest."

He took the phone, ruffled my hair, and spoke in a doting tone.

"Okay, get some rest. I'll go to the kitchen and prep the ingredients so I can make you some stew tomorrow."

With that, he turned and went into the kitchen.

I stood where I was, my stomach turning over.

How could he be so calm?

As calm as if he'd rehearsed those words and gestures countless times.

As if every strange thing were nothing but my imagination.

I walked to the bedroom door and looked toward the kitchen.

Lambert was bent over his phone.

The corners of his mouth curved slightly as he held down the voice button and lowered his voice.

"She's resting."

"I'll come see you first thing in the morning."

The next day, Lambert got up very early.

He moved very quietly, and even put on cologne before leaving.

I hailed a taxi and quietly followed behind him, all the way to the outskirts of the city.

Before long, Deidre came out.

The two were chatting and laughing, as if they were heading out to shop.

I stared blankly at the house in front of me.

It was actually here!

This was a villa my mother left behind, decorated to my taste.

After my mother passed away, my brother Les said,

"I won't fight my sister over Mom's things. My sister can keep this house."

Later, Lambert said he had a friend who could help manage the assets, so I handed everything I had over to him and never asked another question.

I never expected he would actually give this house to Deidre and their child to live in.

In the garden, toys were scattered all over the ground, and a brand-new swing sat on the lawn.

These children's playthings stung my eyes deeply.

Just then, the little boy named Harvey ran out of the house carrying a soccer ball.

He saw me, took a step back, and asked suspiciously,

"Who are you? What are you doing standing at my door?"

It felt like a punch to the chest, and I couldn't get out a single word.

This child was Deidre and Lambert's son.

But the heart beating in his chest belonged to my son.

Seeing that I hadn't spoken for a while, the little boy said impatiently,

"Are you mute?"

But then he tilted his head and looked at me a few more times, suddenly pressing a hand to his chest and frowning, his tone softening for no clear reason.

"You... are you lost? You look terrible."

I froze for a moment.

He pouted, thought about it, and then said,

"Are you waiting for my parents? Why don't you come in and have a cola? It's so hot out here."

"Seeing you standing here all alone, you look kind of pitiful."

Harvey ran over and punched in the door lock code.

I stood behind him, looking at those numbers.

The code used to be my birthday.

Now it was Deidre's birthday.

I followed him inside, and it had changed.

This house used to have a retro decor in natural wood tones, my favorite look.

Now everything had been replaced. The wallpaper was a bright color, the sofa was bright yellow, and even the curtains were a vivid floral print.

Deidre had turned my home into her home.

Harvey took a bottle of cola from the fridge and handed it to me.

"Sit there and drink, don't wander around."

I sat on the sofa, clutching the icy bottle of cola in my hand.

On the table beside the sofa stood a picture frame.

A photo of the three of them, the whole family smiling neatly together.

I laid the frame face down on the table.

Not long after, there was a noise at the door, and a woman's voice came in first.

"Harvey! How many times has Mommy told you! Don't just let people you don't know in"

The moment Deidre saw me, the smile on her face froze for half a second, and then she put on a cautious expression.

"Professor's wife..."

Lambert came in behind her and was also stunned, but he quickly regained his composure.

"What are you doing here?"

I looked at him.

"This is my mother's house. Can't I come?"

He frowned and explained,

"That's not what I meant."

"Deidre has been having a hard time abroad, got involved with the wrong man, and she just came back to the country with nowhere to stay, so I let her stay here temporarily to tide her over. I hadn't had a chance to tell you."

Before he finished, Harvey ran down the stairs and threw himself into Lambert's arms.

"Daddy!"

Lambert's face instantly went stiff.

"This child, he..."

I finished the sentence for him.

"You saw Deidre's child was pitiful, so you let him call you Daddy, right?"

He paused, then quickly nodded.

"Yes, this child is quite pitiful. Once some other kids called him a fatherless bastard and he cried his eyes out. I happened to be passing by, so I played his father that one time. Afterward he didn't stop, and I felt too awkward to correct him."

Deidre stood off to the side, forcing a smile.

"Yes, ma'am, it's all thanks to the professor helping us. Harvey... he's been without a father since he was little, and he's always been bullied. The professor just couldn't stand by and watch..."

As she spoke she lowered her head, her eyes reddening, her voice dropping.

I listened quietly and did not point out the holes in their story.

Looking at the two of them playing off each other in front of me, that scene from back then rose up in my mind.

Back then, I had just come back from the funeral, pushed open the bedroom door, and found them naked in each other's arms, the sheets in disarray.

I dug my nails hard into my palms, forcing that knot of anger back down.

Lambert glanced at me, then put on a helpless expression.

"Eleanor, don't overthink it. I really did just feel sorry for the child."

I said nothing.

Suddenly my gaze fell on the dress Deidre was wearing.

Light blue.

That was the one I'd bought for my mom.

It had sat in the closet for years, the tag still on it. My mom never got the chance to wear it before she died.

Deidre's smile stiffened.

"Ma'am, what's wrong?"

I said coldly,

"That's my mom's dress."

Deidre's hand trembled.

"I... I got my period that day and stained my pants, so I just grabbed one from the closet..."

Lambert frowned deeply.

"Eleanor, it's just sitting in the closet anyway..."

I cut him off coldly.

"No. This belongs to my mother. Give it back to me."

Deidre bit her lip, her eyes reddening, and reached out to pull the zipper down.

Lambert pressed her hand still.

"No need. You keep it on."

He turned to face me, lowering his voice.

"Eleanor, calm down."

Harvey sensed something was wrong and suddenly lunged at me, shoving me.

"You wicked woman! What right do you have to yell at my mommy! Get out of my house!"

I instinctively raised my hand to block him.

Harvey stumbled backward and landed on his bottom on the floor.

He froze for half a second, then opened his mouth and wailed.

"Bad woman! You big villain! How dare you push me! Get out of my house!"

Deidre screamed and rushed over.

"Harvey!"

Lambert quickly scooped up the child, and his eyes darkened when he looked at me.

"Eleanor, he's just a child. Was that really necessary?"

He was about to say something more when his phone suddenly buzzed.

He glanced down at the screen, and when he looked up again his tone had eased.

"Eleanor, let it go. Your brother just messaged me. He's arrived and is waiting for us at home."

He took my hand, his voice returning to its old gentleness.

"Let's go. Don't keep your brother waiting."

I gave Deidre a long look, then turned and left.

Back home, Les smiled and pulled out a pile of gift bags.

"Little sister, I saw so many little things on my business trip abroad this time. You'll love them."

He opened the bags. They were stuffed full of small accessories.

The logo looked familiar.

Back in my mother's villa just now, there had been a heap of luxury goods on the floor, all with the same logo.

In that instant, a lot of things came clear to me.

All these years, every time Les came back from a business trip, he'd bring me a bunch of little odds and ends.

I didn't really like them, but I was always happy to get them, because it made me feel like my brother had me in his heart.

So it turned out he went to see Deidre first, and gave me the things she'd picked over and left behind.

My voice stayed calm.

"Thank you, brother."

The housekeeper set the food on the table.

Lambert's phone buzzed.

He glanced down at it, then stood up.

"Eleanor, there's a paper at the university that needs handling urgently. I have to run over there."

With that, he grabbed his coat and left.

The moment the door shut, Les set down his cup and stood up too.

"Um... Eleanor, I just remembered I think I left the air conditioner on at home. Let's have dinner another time. I'll head out now."

The two of them left one after the other.

I picked up a shrimp.

I chewed it for a long time before I could swallow.

I set down my chopsticks, buried my face in my hands, and my shoulders shook.

I wiped away my tears and pulled up the surveillance app for that house.

They didn't know I'd installed cameras.

Sure enough, Lambert and Les had both gone over, and they were soothing Deidre.

Deidre's eyes were red, as if she'd just been crying.

"I don't want to live on edge like this anymore! She's already come looking for me! She even forced me to take off my clothes!"

"Lambert, Harvey's going to start elementary school soon. Can you really bear to keep us, mother and son, living like this in secret?"

Les comforted her from the side.

"If there's really no other way, just put the child's registration under my name."

Lambert cut in immediately.

"No. Harvey is my son. How could he be registered under your name?"

Deidre's tears spilled over at once.

"I don't care what happens to me, but Harvey clearly isn't a love child, yet people are always talking behind his back and calling him a bastard. It breaks my heart. I can't stand it."

Lambert's face went grim, and he took her hand.

"Deidre, don't worry. I'll find a way to give you and your son a proper standing."

I turned off the video, my face blank.

A few days later, when Lambert came home, he had a stack of documents in his hand.

"Eleanor, some of the contracts for the assets you handed over to my friend to manage need to be signed again."

I lowered my eyes and glanced at them. At the very bottom, one sheet was tucked underneath, a corner showing.

It was the divorce papers.

Without even looking at it, I signed the stack of papers and pushed them back.

Lambert seemed relieved. He put the documents away and casually chatted with me about what we should have for dinner.

A vast wave of sorrow rose up in me.

So this was how he meant to give Deidre her rightful place.

With one thin piece of paper, he was ending our years of marriage, ending all the trust I had misplaced.

Suddenly none of it seemed worth anything.

In that instant, I made up my mind.

He wanted a divorce. I would grant it.

The next day, I got up very early.

Before Lambert left, I called out to him.

"After work today, will you come somewhere with me?"

He glanced back at me, his tone light.

"Of course. What time? I'll come back early."

"Around evening."

He came over and kissed me on the forehead.

"Okay."

I sat on the sofa and waited until the sky went dark, but he never showed up.

After dozens of calls, he finally picked up. His voice on the other end was a little breathless.

"Eleanor, something urgent came up at the school. I might have to pull an all-nighter tonight. Go ahead and have dinner without me."

I gripped the phone tightly.

"Lambert, do you know what day it is today?"

There were a few seconds of silence on the other end, then a somewhat apologetic reply.

"Valentine's Day?"

"You've never celebrated these holidays, though. How about I bring you a present when I get back tomorrow?"

The signal kept cutting out, and he added one last thing.

"All right, that's enough, I've got to get busy over here."

The call ended.

I twitched the corner of my mouth, but couldn't manage a smile.

Just as I thoughthe had even forgotten the anniversary of our child's death.

He already had Harvey, so why would he care about a dead child?

I drove alone toward South Hill.

There was an empty patch of ground there, no headstone, only a small tree I had planted with my own hands.

The moment I reached the top of the hill, a luxury car was already parked by the roadside.

I hadn't expected itLambert and Deidre were there too.

Not far off, Deidre was clinging to Lambert's arm.

Lambert pointed to the luxury car.

"Well? Do you like this Valentine's gift?"

Deidre rose up on her tiptoes, and the two of them fell into a kiss.

When they finished, Lambert smiled and said,

"There's another surprise."

Fireworks suddenly burst across the sky, one after another, going on for a full half hour.

The two of them standing together looked like the happiest couple in the world.

As the fireworks ended, Lambert seemed to sense something and turned to look.

His smile froze in an instant, his expression flustered.

"Eleanor? What are you doing here?"

I pushed open the car door and got out, walking step by step until I stood in front of him.

"Lambert, do you know what this place is?"

He looked around, and his face suddenly changed.

"My child is buried on South Hillburied right here." I looked at him and said each word slowly. "Today is the anniversary of his death."

"Lambert, you have no heart."

Right then, pain and hatred churned in my chest, as if they would burn through my throat.

His lips moved, his voice trembling.

"Eleanor, let me explain"

"No need to explain. I already know everything the two of you have done."

I turned, rushed into the driver's seat, and started the car.

Lambert chased after me, shouting my name.

"Eleanor! Wait! Let me explain!"

I slammed down on the gas and tore along the mountain road.

In the rearview mirror, Lambert ran back to his own car like a madman and gave chase.

When I reached Southriver Bridge, the steering wheel suddenly jerked hard to the side.

The car burst through the railing and flew into the cold river water