The Loveless Lens, I Don't Want It Anymore

On the day of our honeymoon trip, with only two minutes left before boarding, one of my fianc's female buddies tossed his new boarding pass down in front of me.

Sorry about this, Peggy. Looks like the honeymoon's turning into a group trip again.

There are so many of us buddies taking up your time. You're not going to cry, are you?

"I heard you've always been a romanticyou wanted your first trip before the wedding to be about giving yourself to Leo. We're not ruining your little plan, are we?"

The people around us burst out laughing.

Leo's eyes curved in a smile as he gave Marianne a look of mock reproach.

"Your sister-in-law has thin skin. You told this to so many peoplecareful, she'll get upset and cry right in front of you."

But Marianne didn't care in the least. She folded her arms and looked at me.

"A good buddy is really just helping you train your woman. Romance can't put food on the table. You're marrying her to settle down and live a real life."

"Come on, forget the honeymoon. Come have fun with us insteadyou'll fit into the group better that way."

I didn't answer. Instead, I sent a message to my childhood friend.

The honeymoon flight leaves at three this afternoon. If you can make it, we'll go get legally married at the courthouse.

...

Ever since I was little, I've had a slight case of tear incontinence.

When I run into something hard, I can handle itbut my eyes still well up right away.

That's why I never dared to date. I was afraid of getting hurt, and everyone in our circle thought of me as an untouchable flower.

Until I met Leo Gilbert.

He said:

"A man's greatest charm is solving problems."

"Don't worry. I'll always solve your problem before you can shed a single tear."

I believed him.

And I only cried more.

The staff finished processing my new boarding pass and brought it over. I didn't respond.

I just pulled my suitcase back out of Leo's hand.

I tried to head back to the waiting area, but Leo blocked my way.

"Peggy, we'll have our honeymoon. We can go after we're married, that's fine."

"My buddies finally get a chance to spend time with me. Give me a little face here."

"Think about the bigger picture first."

I looked at that crowd of men and women waiting for the show, then brought my gaze back to Leo.

I raised my hand and slapped him across the face.

"You were the ones who didn't give me any face first."

I could clearly hear my own voice going more and more nasal.

"What do you mean, your buddies finally get a chance to get together?"

"On our dating anniversary, when you all gathered at home and sang until dawnwasn't that a get-together?"

"When I was sick and you all snuck off fishing and barbecuingwasn't that a get-together?"

"How many times have you gotten together behind my back? Do you need me to count them out for you in detail?"

Leo stiffened, frowning in displeasure.

"You've been following me."

I glanced at Marianne and gave a cold laugh.

"Why would I need to follow you? Every single time, one of your good buddies posts you to their social media feed and shares it live."

"So many male buddies, and she's the only woman among them. It's obvious what she's after."

Marianne waved her hands in a panic.

"I must have forgotten to block your wife, that's alllots of people posted that day."

I looked at the others.

Every one of them guiltily looked away.

I turned back to Leo.

"Do you really not know why I wanted this honeymoon trip?"

"In our family, when people marry, the engaged couple is supposed to travel togetherit's a way to work things out before the wedding."

"You know that perfectly well, and you still can't tear yourself away from these buddies of yours."

Marianne stepped in front of Leo, her face full of displeasure.

"That's enough. You hit him, you cursed him out."

"Working things out before the wedding, traditionwhatever. It's all just that cursed romanticism of yours acting up."

"We've already bought the tickets. Can't you set aside your romanticism and accommodate us for once?"

Accommodate them once, and I'd be accommodating them every time.

Leo's tone carried a trace of barely restrained anger.

"That's enough."

"My buddies have already given you an out. Can you stop being unreasonable?"

"Postponing the honeymoon a few days is no big deal."

Once again, no big deal.

I let out a slow, heavy breath.

"Go on, then."

"When the trip's over, you can just go marry your buddies."

"It's no big deal to me anyway, right?"

I dragged my suitcase to the waiting area, and my childhood friend's messages came in one after another.

I keep my word. I'll be there soon.

If you dare stand me up this time, I'll tie you to my side even if it means offending your mom and dad.

Rodney Sanchez was actually my first love.

It was just that later, I couldn't quite handle his overpowering possessiveness.

Now, looking back on it.

Possessivenesshow wonderful.

It's better than having no sense of boundaries at all.

The staff in the VIP area gave me a new boarding pass.

When Leo Gilbert's buddies saw that I hadn't left, they figured I'd resigned myself to it and crowded around me.

Everard spoke up in his sleazy way.

"Come on, don't be sore at us. What you said earlier, we'll just treat it as a joke."

"I heard the hotel we're staying at on the trip is owned by your family."

"We're all buddies here, so why don't you just have your family bump my room up? We'll all be family soon anyway, so we'll just call it a nice experience."

Sid does social media, and his eyes were full of excitement.

"That way I can even work up a rich-heir identity for myself."

"I've already posted my vlog, so you'd better set us up right, Peggy."

"You take care of us, and once you and Leo are married, we'll definitely take good care of you too."

That word he used"take care of"I knew all too well what it meant.

Leo comes from a nouveau-riche background, and a lot of his friends are guys he's known since childhood.

When Leo and I were getting ready to get engaged.

This crowd of his friends chipped in with their bright ideas.

Said they wanted to give me an unforgettable engagement.

The result was that on the engagement day itself, they hired nightclub dancers to perform up on the stage.

The banquet tables, which should have been spread with dishes, they swapped out for cheap little snacksthe kind kids buy at the market for a few bucks a pound.

Marianne even snatched the emcee's job outright and ran her mouth up on the stage.

"Doesn't Peggy love a sense of occasion?"

"We're just helping you get back your childhood sense of occasion. Aren't you touched?"

Neither set of parents looked pleased.

Only Leo and that crowd of his clapped and roared with laughter.

"You guys really have some imagination."

"An engagement like thistruly unforgettable for a lifetime."

The farce of that engagement ceremony got around, and for a while I became the joke of our circle.

Over it, my eyes went red with anger more times than I could count.

"A sense of occasion?"

"As if you people deserve one."

"Peggy, that's going a little too far."

Leo frowned, then shifted into a coaxing tone:

"My buddies just wanted to liven up the mood a little. Besides, romance can't put food on the table."

"It's a trip either way, so what does it matter who you go with? If you mind, I'll let them go have their fun first, and I'll mostly keep you company."

Hit you with the stick first, then hand you a sweet date.

He'd leave a promise behind, then turn right around and run off to have his fun.

And if I questioned him, his first move would be to play the pitiful victim:

"Haven't I done everything I promised you?"

"I just step out for a little while, and you have to tie me to your side."

"I'm a person, not some cat or dog you're keeping."

Questioned, blamed.

Back then, I really believed I was the one in the wrong.

I searched myself, wondering whether my need for control really had gone too far.

He was a person, he needed his own independent space.

But thinking about it nowhe was the one who made the promise, so why did it become my fault when he was the one who broke it?

I said nothing, but he took my silence as agreement.

He turned and went into the dining area to eat, while new messages kept popping up in the group chat on my phone.

Heaven, grant me a wife like herrich, gorgeous, and best of all, one who lets her husband go out and run wild.

Peggy used to be way out of reach, and now she's like thisit's all thanks to Leo's skill at managing his wife.

They seemed to have forgotten I was in the group too.

So they went at it even more shamelessly.

Leo, how'd you land a wife like her?

Teach us the method, please.

Leo sent a smiley sticker, and before he could say anything, Marianne jumped in first.

Better than asking Leo, ask me.

The method's simple: it's like raising a dog.

Treat her well, really well, treat her like a little princess. Once she thinks you're her whole world, you go hot and cold, keep her at arm's length, and leave her anxious and insecure.

No wonder.

At the start of our relationship, he was like the perfect boyfriend.

Food, clothes, where I stayed, how I got aroundhe thought of everything.

And just when I finally let my guard down and let myself enjoy the way he felt about me, he changed again.

He wouldn't pick up the phone; he wouldn't answer my messages.

When I went to find him, all I got were gentle words of comfort.

What a girl can't stand most is the gentle knife. Even if she's the one in the wrong, as long as you don't blow up, don't get angry, and just speak to her sweetly

Then no matter how angry she is, she'll end up looking for the fault in herself.

I sat in a daze for a few seconds.

There was a dull ache in my chest, but more than anything I felt wronged.

Wow, Marianne, you really are a national strategist.

That little heiress is completely wrapped around Leo's finger, hahaha.

She's still sitting there like a fool, not knowing Leo treats her like a dog.

I can't take it anymorethe unattainable flower and the dog, I'm dying laughing. It really is better to talk in the small group, where we can all speak our minds.

So they thought these messages were going to a different group.

A group I wasn't in.

I laughed at myself.

Leo sent a message.

My card balance is running low, so I'll use your card for the trip.

Don't say anything about it later, or I'll lose face in front of my friends.

I turned him down flat.

And I called my assistant while I was at it, telling her to cancel every supplementary card under my name.

Leo came over carrying a half-eaten steak.

Like he was handing out charity.

"These are Marianne's leftovers. She said you hadn't eaten anything and was worried you'd be hungry."

"You should learn from my buddies and be a little more frugal."

Using frugality to guilt-trip methat was something else he'd learned from Marianne.

Marianne said in the group that it could cultivate a sense of guilt.

Drink bubble tea, and he'd tell me how hard the tea farmers work picking the leaves; eat noodles, and he'd tell me how exhausting it is for the farmers

Even if it had nothing to do with me, she wanted me dragged into feeling three parts responsible.

The two of them silently expected me to finish off the leftovers.

My nose stung harder with anger, and when I spoke, my voice broke into a sob I couldn't hold back.

"Why can't it be my leftovers that you take to her?"

The phone in my hand trembled.

Leo pushed the plate toward me, a trace of impatience still in his eyes.

"It's such a waste for you to order so muchyou eat like a sparrow anyway."

"Some leftovers are plenty to fill you up."

"Besides, your leftovers have your saliva all over them. How could I give those to Marianne?"

So he did know that food other people had touched had saliva on it, and that it was rude to give it to someone else.

Yet he was perfectly willing to have me eat what others left behind.

I bit the tip of my tongue, forcing the hurt back down, but my eyes only reddened more.

"If you like eating food someone else has drooled on, then eat it yourself."

My little sister called:

"Sissy, sissy, I want to come find you. Don't go on your honeymoon with that bad brother-in-law. He's mean, he's always making you upset."

The childish voice carried both hurt and a clear-eyed understanding.

"Sissy, Mom and Dad both said you're about to get on the plane."

"Alexandra doesn't like a brother-in-law who makes her sissy feel bad."

My heart warmed.

The tears I'd almost managed to hold back spilled over anyway.

"I know, Alexandra. Sissy won't go on any honeymoon with him."

"Sissy will listen to you."

My little sister was born when Mom was already middle-aged, and she's always been close to me.

She's like a little angel to everyone around me; the only person she doesn't like is Leo.

Several times she'd clenched her little fists and tried to charge at him.

"What kind of dumb scheme has that little piggy sister of yours cooked up for you now?"

The moment the nickname "little piggy" came out, Leo's whole crowd of buddies laughed.

"Little piggy, huhthat nickname really fits. Can somebody tell me why the aloof flower's sister is as fat as a pig?"

"No offense, but seriouslyyour sister's that fat and still snaps at Leo every time. You're the older sister, and you don't even smack her once to set her straight?"

"They say it online all the timea bratty kid just needs a good beating. If one doesn't do it, a few more will."

"If you can't bring yourself to do it, we'll do it for you. Beating a brat till she criesthat's a sound we love to hear."

A chorus of malicious laughter blurred together.

I picked up the plate of food and slammed it straight into Everard's face.

Sticky black pepper sauce ran down his face and dripped onto his shirt.

The plate hit the floor and broke in two.

I kicked him in the shin again.

His legs buckled and he dropped to his knees.

"You think you're worthy of touching my sister?"

"If you've got the guts, do something when your parents and my family sit down to sign the deal. All you can do is run your mouth, you coward."

The Cox family depends on the Hensons' distribution channels to sell most of what they make. Without the Hensons, he's not worth a damn.

"Want me to call again so you can say all that in front of my parents?"

Leo quickly grabbed my phone, his face full of accusation.

As if I were some ignorant child.

"We're all friends here. Don't you think it's a bit much, throwing your family's weight around to push people?"

Now he thinks it's too much.

When they were shouting about teaching my sister a lesson, he didn't think it was too much then?

He just figured I was an easy target, didn't he?

He figured that because of him, I ought to be on their side.

He didn't notice.

The call actually ended the moment he pressed down on my hand.

The boarding announcement for Leo's flight came on, and the staff had already come in to notify everyone.

Everyone pulled out their suitcases, ready to move.

Except me.

"Leo, if you leave with them, don't come back."

His brows went cold.

"It's not like I'm not bringing you along too. I'm just turning our honeymoon for two into a group trip."

"Don't spoil the mood for everyone."

Marianne affectionately tried to hook her arm through mine.

"Sis, I apologize for talking about you behind your back before. Don't make things hard for Leo."

"If you really want to do that kind of thing, I'll take the guys a little farther off and give you two your privacy..."

I raised my hand and slapped her across the face.

Leo quickly pulled her behind him to shield her.

The way he looked at me, he could have eaten me alive.

"Peggy Henson, you really have been spoiled rotten."

"Let's go, forget about her, let her keep putting on her grand lady airs."

"I'd like to see how long she can hold out."

Another round of mocking laughter.

"She won't last long. This time, Leo, you've got to listen to Marianne and keep her on a tighter leash a while longer."

"If you can squeeze some perks out of her, then you're truly a master at managing a wife."

"Miss Henson's waiting for you to come play, Leo. Aren't you going to go say something sweet to her?"

Listening to those dirty little jokes, I felt sick to my stomach.

Like something in my chest had fermented into a pool of rot.

I sat on the sofa, not moving.

Until a large shadow fell over me.

"Did somebody bully my little Peach?"

I looked up, my red eyes and the tip of my nose giving away exactly how I felt.

The pack of guys were still laughing and joking with Leo.

"Leo, you think your wife deliberately took a different seat on the plane because she was scared we'd laugh at her?"

Leo shook his head. "No idea. Ask the flight attendant."

The cabin door was already slowly closing.

The flight attendant they'd called went to check, and found an empty seat.

She turned back and gave them the answer.

"Gentlemen, the seat you mentioned is empty. No one's there."

Leo's face darkened.

"She really didn't board."

The announcement came on.

Flight 774 is preparing for takeoff. Passengers, please power off your phones or switch to airplane mode.

I sniffed and looked at the man in front of me.

"Honeymoon trip. Are we going or not?"

"Our family tradition..."

He finished the rest. "We're going."

"Dragon's den, tiger's lair, wherever."

He even beat me to it and called my parents.

"Sir, ma'am, I'm taking your little Peach on a honeymoon for a few days. When we're home, I'll come pay a visit."

My phone buzzed twice with a message.

An angry voice call from Leo came through.

"Peggy Henson, how dare you"

The call was cut off.

I pulled Rodney over, took his hand, and snapped a photo.

Posted it straight to my social media feed.

Honeymoon trip, everything as usual.

Leo's buddy, who'd been about to switch to airplane mode, stared at the new post, and his voice came out shaking.

"Le... Leo, your wife's going on her honeymoon with someone else."