Even If We Meet Again, It Surpasses the World

I caught my boyfriend of ten years in bed with his close female friend.

The next day, they publicly announced their marriage license.

I tore the marriage certificate off page by page, chewed it up, and swallowed it.

Ten years togetherI refused to believe he would betray me.

Until I ate the 8th marriage certificate, slit my wrists for the 9th time, and brought the media to his company to make a scene for the 10th time.

My boyfriend frowned and threw the paternity test report down in front of me.

"Madison is pregnant. It's mine."

"Do I have to cut the baby out and show it to you before you'll face reality?"

Something in me died completely.

I let him lead another woman by the hand onto the wedding stage I had spent six months arranging with my own hands.

When the toasts came around, it was my table's turn.

My boyfriend smiled and raised his glass to me. "I'm sorry, Hope. It took wasting ten years of your time for me to finally see my own heart clearly. I hope you won't mind."

Cradled in his arms, Madison stroked her belly, smiling gently, but her eyes were full of challenge.

Later, my best friend couldn't bear to see me so weak and haggard, so she gritted her teeth and told me the truth.

"Actually, Sebastian Rowe never betrayed you."

"During his premarital checkup, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He was afraid you'd spend your whole life a widow because of him, so he begged us to put on this act for you!"

I only gave a faint "mm."

My best friend stared at me in disbelief. "You already knew?"

The silk scarf wrapped around my head slipped off, and the once thick, glossy black hair was now thin and withered.

I said softly, "I know."

"Because the one diagnosed with a terminal illness in that premarital report wasn't him. It was me."

...

Sebastian and Madison's wedding was a spectacle that drew everyone's eyes.

Every detail was exactly the wedding I'd dreamed of.

My best friend Stephanie Dickerson and I sat in the guest seats.

Sebastian and I were high school classmates, and everyone at this table was a former classmate.

"Hey, isn't that Hope?"

"I heard you just got dumped by Mr. Rowe. How do you still have the nerve to show up here?"

"The bride only invited you to be polite. Actually daring to comedo you have no brains?"

Stephanie spoke up for me.

"Our Hope broke up with Sebastian Rowe and walked away with two hundred million. I wonder how much any of you are worth?"

They were shut down, but they were quick to fire back.

"That kind of money is nothing to Mr. Rowe. Everyone knows Hope was the one clinging on and refusing to leave. What else could he do but pay her off to be rid of her?"

"Exactly, exactly, what's there to be so smug about?"

Stephanie frowned and whispered in my ear, "Hope, if you're not feeling okay, let's leave right now."

I signaled that I was fine.

At that moment, the newlyweds made their entrance. Sebastian in a well-tailored black suit, and Madison in a custom-made wedding gown on his arm, walked slowly down the red carpet.

A talented man and a beautiful womanthe congratulations came pouring in.

During the ring exchange, the emcee asked the groom and bride if they had any regrets.

Sebastian took Madison's hand with deep affection.

"My biggest regret is that I wasted the most precious ten years of my life before I could see clearly who I truly, truly loved, and it made us miss out on so much time together."

The people around me who knew about my relationship with Sebastian whispered among themselves, wanting to watch me be made a fool of.

My expression stayed calm as I clapped along with everyone else.

The wedding soon moved on to the toasting.

Sebastian and Madison offered their toasts table by table.

Everyone at the table stood up to congratulate them.

At last I stood up.

Nestled in Sebastian's arms, Madison smiled with easy grace. "I'm sorry, Hope. What Sebastian said up on that stage just now was out of line. Let me apologize to you on his behalf."

"It's fine."

"I'm pregnant, so I can't drink. Let Sebastian give you a toast for me."

Sebastian raised his glass to me. I smiled and tipped my head back to drink it down.

The liquor was strong, and I coughed twice.

His hand tightened around his glass, the knuckles standing out sharply.

A high school classmate chimed in to flatter her. "Miss Butler, we're all Mr. Rowe's high school classmates, so we can speak with authority. You and Mr. Rowe really are the perfect match."

Madison seemed intrigued. "Sebastian, I've never heard about your high school days. Tell me about them."

Sebastian's gaze settled on my face, and his voice came out cold and hard. "There's nothing worth telling. It's all in the past."

I looked at him too, my thoughts drifting back ten years.

Back then, I was first in the whole school, and he was dead last.

Yet at the awards ceremony, he announced to the entire school that he intended to pursue me.

I stood on the stage and met his eyes.

"If you come within one place of me on the next monthly exam, I'll say yes."

He curled his lips into a teasing smirk.

Some thought he'd knuckle down for my sake and fight his way to second place; others thought he'd give up, since the gap between us was simply too wide.

But all he did, right before the next monthly exam, was corner me in an alley, and we both missed the test.

And that was how Sebastian Rowe and Hope Mann

Two names that had been separated by more than ten pages on the report card, two names that should never have crossed paths, stayed tangled together for ten years.

"There really isn't anything left worth bringing up. It's all ancient history."

I took the glass of wine from Stephanie's hand.

"Let me offer you both one more toast. May you grow old together and have a lifetime of happiness."

I looked up and drained the glass in one go.

Madison said lightly, "All right, all right, it's a happy day today. Let's move on to the next table."

But just as they were about to leave, someone deliberately tripped meI don't know whoand I started to pitch forward.

Sebastian reflexively reached out and caught me, steadying me.

Then, as it dawned on him what he'd just done, he stiffened for a moment.

He twisted his lips into a sneer. "What is it? Is Miss Mann so reluctant to let me go?"

The high school classmates piled on.

"Oh, don't tell me Hope's trying to be the other woman."

"What a clumsy trick."

Stephanie pulled me out of Sebastian's arms, shot him a vicious glare, and then led me out through the hotel's front doors.

From start to finish, apart from my blessings, I never said a single word in my own defense.

I held myself together until we got to the car, and only then did I pass out.

When I came to again, what I saw was the hospital ceiling.

Seeing that I was awake, Stephanie clenched her fists in fury. "That bastard Sebastian Rowehow dare he talk to you like that. He deserves to die."

I shook my head. "That's only right. After all, he and I are a thing of the past now."

Stephanie sighed. "You've come to terms with it awfully fast."

Then she tried to comfort me. "It's okay, look on the bright side. Maybe Sebastian's the one who's about to die."

"If that day comes, I'll definitely hire people to bang gongs and drums outside the Rowe family's gate and celebrate for three days and three nights straight!"

She made me laugh.

Stephanie said she'd help me get over the breakup, so she quit her job to travel around and see the sights with me.

In the last stretch of my life, I treasured the time I spent with her.

We went to Norway to see the northern lights, to the Rockies to see antelope, and to Egypt to see the Pyramids.

Everywhere we went, I would eagerly ask her to take lots of photos of me.

But whenever she wanted to post them online, I'd stop her.

The good times didn't last.

After we came home, I was hospitalized.

Stephanie was frantic. "Come on, Hope, I don't remember you ever being this fragile. Can a breakup really hit you this hard?"

"You don't understand."

The doctor changing my IVmy junior colleaguecut her off.

"Miss Mann, tell her. You can't keep it from everyone forever."

I told her about my illness.

Looking at the thick stack of medical reports in her hands, the usually talkative Stephanie fell silent for a rare five minutes.

When she finally spoke, tears came with the words.

"No way. You're so younghow could you get something this serious?"

"If anyone should have it, it should be Sebastian. Are you sure they didn't make a mistake?"

I patted the back of her hand.

"I was just as devastated as you are when I first found out."

She asked again.

"Does anyone else know about this?"

"Madison knows too."

Stephanie couldn't believe it. "Hope, she knows, and you still didn't tell me."

I winked playfully. "So, is my acting any good?"

Her nose stung. "You could win an Oscar for Best Actress."

"Is there really no hope of a cure?"

I gave a wry smile and explained, "You're forgettingI'm a doctor."

"You shouldn't be hiding it from Sebastian. He'll go crazy when he learns the truth."

"Then don't let him find out."

I forced myself upright, my expression serious.

"Stephanie, you know what? People only realize how important a healthy body is once they get sick."

"I may look no different from before, but I'm the only one who knows I've already started to rot away inside."

"Knowing Sebastian the way I do, if he found out I was dead, he wouldn't live past the next day."

I couldn't hold back the catch in my voice. "But he's only twenty-eighthealthy, full of life, with a bright future ahead of him. I can't be that selfishseeing exactly how it would end for him and doing nothing"

"If I don't deceive him, my conscience will never rest. I'd never be able to forgive myself, not for the rest of my life."

Stephanie's face was full of conflict. "The two of you really are made for each other. When Sebastian first came to me and asked me to help him put on this act, he said the very same things you're saying."

She lifted a hand to wipe the corner of her eye. "Heaven really is blind. You two were so right for each other. Such a pity."

She left the rest unsaid, but we both understood.

And there was nothing anyone could do.

Even with the most advanced treatments available, my body kept growing weaker.

The side effects of chemo made all my hair fall out, and I lost nearly sixty pounds.

Sometimes I'd drift off, lose track of time, unable to tell the nurses' faces from the doctors'.

Now and then I'd catch hold of the young nurse beside me and ask.

"Has my wedding dress arrived yet? My husband had it custom-made at a high priceit belongs only to me"

Every time, the young nurse would look at me with sad, pitying eyes.

"Miss Mann, Mr. Rowe held his wedding a few months ago. Didn't you just see it in the news?"

My mind would clear, I'd pinch my fingertips, and I'd give an apologetic smile.

In the afternoon, Stephanie talked to me while she peeled an orange.

"Hope, it seems Sebastian is asking around for news of you."

My thin, bony fingers gripped her wrist. "No you can't"

Stephanie clasped my hand in return. "Don't worry. I sent him the photos from that trip we took, and he didn't suspect a thing."

Only then did I nod, relieved.

"Sebastianhow is he doing?"

"Doing great. His company just landed a nice piece of land yesterday, and they've got real momentum right now."

Stephanie hesitated, as if unsure whether she should say it.

"And Madisonshe the baby in her belly is five months along now. Sebastian's family adores her, and the whole Rowe family is looking forward to this child."

I smiled. "That's good. After all, they watched Madison grow up."

"It's not good at all"

"Why should they get to be so happy while you're stuck here suffering all alone? It's not fair."

Stephanie rested her head against my chest, her tears slowly soaking into the sheets.

I stroked her hair.

This is fine. This is the best ending there is.

Because I hated having my mind too foggy, I asked Elliot to switch me to a different treatment.

But the price of a clear mind was pain.

Constant, endless pain.

On Friday, I forced my body upright and asked a nurse at the hospital to take me downstairs.

Stephanie had told me that every Friday was Madison's prenatal checkup day.

And on that day, Sebastian would come along with her.

So early in the morning I waited on a bench in the park downstairs, hoping to see him one more time.

I missed him so much.

Just one glimpse of him from afar would be enough. I wasn't greedy.

A long-dormant part of my heart stirred with a flicker of joy I hadn't felt in ages.

From far off, I saw a familiar Maybach pull up at the hospital entrance.

Madison, her belly already showing, slowly got out of the car with his support.

Madison smiled and said something, and Sebastian leaned in, listening carefully, her bag still in his hand.

The man had broad shoulders and long legs; the woman was tall and slender.

To anyone watching, they were a loving, well-matched young couple, easy on the eyes.

As they gradually walked farther away, I pushed myself up on shaky legs, wanting one more look at his back.

But I didn't notice the trash can beside me, and I tripped and fell hard to the ground.

Madison turned, pointed at me, and said, "Sebastian, there seems to be someone over there."

Sebastian looked over too.

My heart lurched. I tried to stand on my own, but no matter what I did, I couldn't get up.

A moment later, Sebastian strode over and helped me up off the ground.

I stared blankly at his face, my lips moving without a word, not knowing how to explain.

Madison came over too, her face full of concern. "Are you all right, miss?"

She didn't recognize me.

Sebastian bent down, picked up the hat from the ground, and handed it to me, his eyes calm and still.

"Your hat."

Even Sebastian, who had been with me for ten years, didn't recognize me as Hope.

What I saw in their eyes was the same expression as everyone else's, a faint, vague pity.

I didn't know whether to feel sorrow or relief.

I took the hat from his hand and stumbled away.

Sebastian watched my departing figure, deep in thought.

He remembered that helping that girl up just now had been no different from lifting a feather.

Did she even weigh forty pounds anymore?

Madison sighed. "She doesn't look very old. Girls love to look pretty, and turning into something like that, she must be suffering."

Sebastian's thoughts drifted. "Will I become like that before long too?"

A flicker of unease crossed Madison's face.

Standing where she could see the whole picture, she knew that Sebastian wasn't sick at all.

"Even if you did end up like that, Hope would never see it."

Sebastian lowered his eyes. "You're right."

She tugged at Sebastian's sleeve.

"Let's not talk about this anymore. Let's go get your checkup first."

Sebastian gathered himself and went into the hospital with Madison.

Back in my room, I couldn't hold it in any longer, and I broke down sobbing.

All my life I'd been called the kid everyone else was measured against.

Whenever anyone mentioned me, their faces held only admiration and awe.

A woman without a single flaw, a favored child of heaven.

But now the person in the full-length mirror had shriveled, withered limbs, with only her belly swollen high, her face a sallow gray, her eye sockets deeply sunken, like a walking mummy.

Not a trace of what I used to be was left.

It was the first time I'd broken down since I fell ill.

My best friend rushed over when she heard, and she pulled me into her arms, her heart breaking.

"Hope, I'm here, I'm here!"

I cried until I was spent and passed out.

After that day, it was as if all the energy had been drained out of me, and my body went into a rapid decline.

The pain kept me from sleeping all day and all night, and Elliot had no choice but to secretly increase the dose of my painkillers.

I spent more time in a fog than lucid.

I don't know how long I drifted in that daze, but suddenly I recognized the person at my bedside.

"Stephanie, is it snowing?"

Stephanie grasped my hand, her face lighting up.

"Hope, you're awake?"

She lifted me into the wheelchair, and I looked out at the snow.

"It's already winter."

With tears in her eyes, she answered, "Yes, the first snow of this winter."

My eyelids grew heavier and heavier, and it was as if we both knew something in our hearts.

She crouched down and held me tightly, and in her arms I said my last words.

"Take good care of yourself."

On the first snow of that winter, I quietly left this world.

The next afternoon, Madison stood on the balcony gazing tenderly at the prenatal report in her hand.

The phone rang, and she answered.

Whatever the other end said, her smiling face froze in an instant.

After a long silence, Madison spoke first.

"What date is the funeral set for?"

"The thirteenth."

"Okay, I understand."

Sebastian pushed the door open and came in carrying water.

He set the warm water on the coffee table and asked with a frown.

"A funeral? Whose funeral?"