There Is Always Storm, Always Love

After the poor student my father sponsored hid the special medication my mother had waited in line three months to get her allotment of.

My mom searched for three whole days.

On the first day, she said the special medication was hidden at the highest point of the Ferris wheel.

My mom fought down her fear of heights and rode the Ferris wheel.

But the amusement park lost power, and she was trapped up there for twenty-four hours without ever seeing a trace of the medication.

The next morning, the girl's phone call came through:

"You're thirty, how can you still be so naive! I'm done messing with you!"

"The specialist's appointment is hidden at the mountain chapel where you prayed for Nathaniel!"

The next day my mother went up on her knees, kowtowing every step, blood running all over the ground.

But when she reached the top, the old monk told my mother there was no such special medication at all.

The girl hid behind the Buddha statue and burst out laughing:

"Okay, this time I'm really not teasing you. The medication is hidden in the abandoned hut behind the old house!"

On the third day, my mother went, but several old thugs tied her to a chair and tortured her for a whole day and night.

The woman staggered out of the room, but her hands were empty.

I stood beside her, saying nothing for a long time.

"Mom, go be a star in the sky. This time I'm not afraid."

The ringing phone broke the silence in the rental apartment.

My father Nathaniel Gilbert's voice came through:

"I'll bring your special medication back to you a little later."

"She's just holding a grudge because you caused her miscarriage, that's why she's getting back at you!"

Three seconds later, my mom smiled and shut my dad up with a "No need."

My dad's cold voice came through the phone:

"True enough. You caused her to miscarry back then, so now it's just some medication, what's the big deal about letting it go!"

"Besides, Fern was only joking with you. Do you really have to keep at it like this?"

With every word my dad spoke, my mom's face went a shade paler, and she forced out through gritted teeth:

"Forget the medication, but you'll pay me back for the cost, plus round-trip fare, three thousand two hundred in all."

"A penny short, and I'll come make a scene at your house tomorrow!"

That thirty-two hundred was money she had saved up for a long time working.

The hospital's allotment was small this year, and that box was the last one; wait any longer and it would be another three months.

The next moment, my dad transferred four thousand, and the cold voice of the payment app rang out through the whole rental apartment.

The call cut off abruptly. The woman's face showed nothing at all as she lifted her eyes to the stars.

My dad said my mom was the fiercest woman in the whole alley.

To marry my mom, he was often beaten with a stick by my grandparents, and even when he was beaten black and blue, he wasn't afraid.

In the third year after I was born, the poor mountain student my parents sponsored showed up at our door, begging for a meal.

My mom threw herself into buying her clothes and treated her like her closest sister.

But she climbed into my dad's bed, and on our seventh wedding anniversary, she falsely accused my mom of causing her miscarriage.

That day my dad invoked the family rules, and all one hundred and eight votes of the family passed unanimously to cast my mom and me out.

My mother packed up all our belongings by herself, took me, and left without looking back.

Until the ground turned crimson, and I suddenly looked up to see my mother's nosebleed dripping to the floor drop by drop.

The medicine bottle had been knocked over, and only emptiness was left.

I rushed forward in a panic and grabbed my mother's hand:

"Mom, don't be scared, I'll go buy you the medicine! I know the way!"

My heart felt like it was being torn apart. I didn't even get my shoes on properly before I ran out of the house.

I'd memorized this route to buy the medicine thousands of times, and I can recite the names of the medicines my mother takes by heart!

Even the neighbor lady praised me for how good I was.

But at the end of the road, under the warm yellow light, I ran into my dad and that woman.

The man's gaze swept lightly over me, his tone carrying a trace of distaste:

"Philippa, who did you ask to find out I was here?"

"Go on, what do you want from me this time with that wish card?"

My heart suddenly clenched, as if stuffed with cotton, and for a long while I couldn't say a word.

Those wish cards were something I'd traded from him as a child, back when I was trying to cheer my mom up.

He promised that I could use a wish card to make one wish of him.

Last time, I asked him for three hundred so I could buy my mother medicine.

But halfway there, Fern insisted I'd lied and bought candy with it, and she crushed the medicine and threw it in the trash.

The time before that, my mother ran into some hoodlums, and I begged him to come save her.

But even after the police came, my dad was still blocking the road.

I stood there frozen, slowly taking the last wish card out of my little backpack.

The man wore exactly the expression he'd expected to.

But the next moment, in front of the two of them, I tore the wish card to shreds.

"Not one of my wishes has ever come true!"

"I don't want this wish card anymore!"

Fern frowned, turned, and grabbed her father's arm.

"Is Bella only saying all this because she won't forgive me?"

"But I was just joking with her! I really never thought she'd get so angry!"

The man froze for a second, then instantly threw the card I'd torn up into the trash.

"Bella, you're really something! You've even taught her the 'playing hard to get' trick!"

"If you don't want it, then don't expect any of it from now on! Don't think things will be the way they used to be!"

"When you make a mistake, you fix itthat goes for you and your mother both!"

Watching the two of them walk away, I picked up a branch from the ground and dragged it hard across my dad's car, leaving a deep scratch.

My mom always said that if someone bullies you, you fight back, even if it leaves you bloody.

That night, I dragged my heavy body home.

But when I opened the door, the place was full of rice, flour, and cooking oil, and set gently on the table were all the things my mother had borrowed from the neighbors over the years.

Three bags of flour for the guy downstairs, two bottles of vinegar for Rosemary upstairs...

These past two years, they'd all grown wary of lending to my family. Whenever they saw us, they steered clear of us like we were bad luck.

But when we were truly at rock bottom, the neighbors couldn't bring themselves to let us actually go hungry.

Early the next morning, my mother took me door to door to return everything.

After the last house, we had three hundred dollars left out of four thousand.

My mom didn't say a word; she just took me to the pizzeria our whole family used to go to most.

The moment we walked in, my eyes were pulled to the photo of my dad and Fern up on the couples' wall.

The clerk explained warmly, "This couple has come in and eaten here ninety-nine times."

"To thank our customers, we put their photo up here speciallywe hope they last a long, long time!"

The hand holding mine suddenly trembled.

And out of nowhere I remembered the very first meal that skinny, dark-skinned poor student had when she first arrived.

My mom took her out for pizza and taught her how to use a knife and fork with her own hands.

My dad had even gotten jealous over it back then, and the whole family teased him about it for ages.

My heart went stiff, and before I could pull myself together, my mother smiled, picked up a marker from the counter, and wrote the number 99 under the photo.

Through the whole meal, none of us brought up the photo again.

Until my mom's best friend's phone call suddenly came through:

"Aren't you broke? There's a jobwill you take it?"

"Fern and Nathaniel are having their wedding next month, and he specifically asked me to invite you to be the girl's bridesmaid."

"It'd be perfect to have Philippa as a flower girl too! Twenty thousand dollars for the whole wedding!"

"If you ask me, don't turn it down. If it were me, I wouldn't be kind enough to let the person who made me miscarry come to my wedding!"

My heart clenched, and I was about to grab the phone and hang up.

But my mom seemed like a completely different person: "I'll take it!"

A puzzled voice came from the other end:

"Bella, you're actually taking it? You've really got some nerve."

"Fine, I'll send you the schedule later."

My heart felt like a deflated balloon. This woman used to be my mom's closest friend.

They shopped together, bought clothes together, even picked up and dropped off the kids together.

My eyes stung, and I quietly asked my mom why.

"From now on I can go without pizza, and I won't spend much money."

"Just don't let yourself be wronged everywhere you go anymore."

My mom just smiled.

"For someone who's truly let go, what is there to feel wronged about?"

But that night, when we got home, my mother fell ill again.

The high fever had all but burned every last drop of blood from the woman's body.

I took care of my mother the way my father used to.

I got a few fever pills into her, but her temperature only climbed higher instead of dropping.

In the middle of my panic, someone came pounding at the door.

My father stooped in, and without meaning to, a glimmer of hope crept into my eyes.

The moment I ran to him, I caught the heavy stench of alcohol on him.

His gaze settled darkly on my mother, and I panicked instantly.

Everyone in the Gilbert family knew that my father liked to bully people when he was drunk.

I forced down my fear and stood in front of him. "My mom is sick, she has a fever. You can't bully her!"

Before I could finish, my father shut me out in the living room, and no matter how I pounded on it he wouldn't open it.

The woman's sobs drifted out, and I kept watch in the living room all night without closing my eyes.

Not until the next morning did the door creak open.

The man had sobered up, and with practiced ease he fed my mother her fever medicine.

Three seconds later, my mother asked in a hoarse voice why.

My father smiled, his hands not stopping:

"Bella, you know I mistreat people when I'm drunk."

"Fern is so young. I just couldn't quite bring myself to it."

My mom didn't cry, but I burst into tears.

The man walked out the door and gently gathered me into his arms:

"Philippa, don't cry. I scared you yesterday. How about Daddy makes it up to you with a wish card?"

The man looked around the shabby rental apartment, his eyes landing on a rented bridesmaid dress.

A flicker of doubt crossed his face, but before he could ask, my mother explained softly:

"The bridal boutique downstairs sprang a leak, so I'm holding it here for a couple of days."

"A night shift at a bar goes for five thousand a night, and you put me through so much yesterday, so I want eight thousand."

"Once you settle up, you can go."

My father only gave a low laugh:

"Enough, Bella Henson. I've seen enough of this playing-hard-to-get act. Aren't you tired of the game yet?"

"The girl just wants a wedding, it's not a real marriage. What is there for you to be angry about?"

A shrill phone ring cut in, and Fern Swanson's voice came through:

"Honey, my period started and my stomach hurts so much. Could you have Bella make me a cup of hot honey water?"

"Of all the hot honey water I've ever had, only hers ever works!"

The words had barely landed, and before my father could speak, my mom turned and walked into the kitchen.

Brown sugar, ginger slices, simmered slow over low heat.

Even the cup was the nicest one we owned.

She bent down and handed it to my father:

"Mr. Gilbert is rich and generous. Spending three hundred on a cup of hot honey water for his girlfriend isn't too much, is it?"

The veins bulged at my father's temple, his eyes locked hard on my mom:

"Is measuring feelings in money the only thing you know how to do?"

The woman's voice carried a coldness:

"What is there to measure between the two of us, besides money?"

The cold chime of ten thousand dollars over the payment app rang out in the cramped rental apartment.

The man slammed the door shut with a bang.

The moment he turned to leave, my mother's nose began to bleed, drops of blood falling one by one to the floor.

The woman collapsed onto the sofa as if all her strength were gone, gently stroking my head.

"Why are you crying, little one? Once Mommy becomes a star up in the sky, it won't hurt anymore."

On my dad's wedding day, my mom put on the bridesmaid dress she'd rented so long ago.

The pretty dress couldn't hide the helplessness on her face, yet she still dressed me up nice and pretty.

"Sweetheart, we're going there to earn money, not to suffer."

"Don't be sad. Give Mom a smile."

Only then did I manage to force out a smile.

The wedding was grand, but scene after scene of my parents' own wedding kept flashing through my mind.

Mom said that back then the family was so poor they had to split a single bowl of dumpling soup in half to eat.

The wedding was thrown together with just two tables, and then they went to the County Clerk's Office to get their marriage license.

They always meant to hold a proper one later, but it never happened.

My memories were suddenly cut off by an uproar in the crowd. Fern Swanson frowned and walked step by step over to my mother.

She shouted, "Bella, if you can't stand me marrying Nathaniel, you didn't have to come!"

"But you didn't need to steal my diamond ring! Nathaniel waited in line for ages overseas to buy it!"

"We're going to need it at the wedding any minute now. Hurry up and hand it over, and I won't hold your mistake against you!"

Mom's best friend chimed in to back her up:

"Well now, Bella Henson, no wonder you agreed so quickly that day!"

"So it turns out you'd planned to steal Fern's diamond ring all along!"

The people around us pointed and whispered, but my mother only answered firmly that she hadn't taken it.

"I'll go pull the security footage with you."

But before she could finish, her best friend slapped her hard across the face.

"Who knows what tricks you've pulled this time? Since the ring is gone, we have to search you!"

"Bella Henson, don't even think about explaining anymore!"

The words had barely left her mouth when several burly men pinned my mother down.

The next moment, the snow-white bridesmaid dress was torn to shreds.

I stood frozen in place, desperately trying to shield her body, while my mother's head was shoved hard into the dirt.

She didn't shed a single tear, didn't so much as change her expression.

More and more people crowded around to watch, but the men stripped her bare from head to toe.

And they still didn't find the missing diamond ring.

"What do you think you're doing now?!"

My father's voice rang out, and only then did Fern panic:

"Nathaniel, I can't find the diamond ring you bought me. I only wanted to ask Bella if she'd taken it!"

"I didn't mean it, I was just too anxious, the wedding's about to start!"

Before she could finish, my dad's face went stiff, and he hurriedly put my mom's clothes back on her.

He said in a low voice, "Bella, the girl doesn't know any better. Don't stoop to her level."

But my mother only smiled, stood up, brushed the dirt off her clothes, and acted as if nothing had happened.

"Right. This time we'll count it as my emotional damages. I want a hundred thousand."

"Mr. Gilbert has a big, wealthy family. Surely he won't refuse."

My dad's face was deathly pale, but he managed a weak smile.

"Here, two hundred thousand. Is that enough?"

My mom laughed, and a simple "Thank you for the tip, boss" jammed every word back down my dad's throat.

She looked at the balance that had landed in her phone, took my hand, and chuckled softly:

"Today's Mr. Gilbert's wedding. I don't want to ruin the mood, so I'll take my little girl and go on ahead."

It rained on the way home. My mother said nothing, only quietly paid for the wedding dress.

Then she put the rest of the money into a single savings passbook, two hundred twenty thousand, and sewed it into the pocket of my clothes.

She gathered me into her arms and told me stories until dawn.

By the time the first rays of morning sunlight streamed into the room.

My mom had fallen asleep.