We Stand at Opposite Ends of Fate

At dinner, my daughter insisted on sitting on my husband's lap to eat after his long day at work.

I coaxed her for a long while, but she wouldn't get down, so I joked, Come on down. Only Daddy's girlfriend gets to sit on Daddy's lap.

My daughter's eyes went wide. I know who Daddy's girlfriend is!

Hearing that, my face went hot.

Could she have seen me sitting on her father's lap before?

Then my daughter shouted, "Daddy's girlfriends are Aunt Sydney and me! Aunt Sydney sits on Daddy's lap, and I sit on Aunt Sydney's lap!"

I turned to Howard, my face stiff.

He looked perfectly calm, a faint smile at the corner of his mouth.

He tweaked our daughter's nose. "So little, and already learning to tell lies."

So it was a lie.

My heart had barely begun to settle when my daughter shouted again, "I did not lie! Mom won't let me lie. I'm telling the truth. It was yesterday, when I was eating in Daddy's office."

My heart sank like it had dropped into ice.

Howard paused only for a beat, then said lightly, "That's because your Aunt Sydney tripped by accident and ended up on my lap."

My daughter is young and doesn't understand much; whatever her parents say, she takes as true.

She shook her little head back and forth, still wanting to say something more.

Howard frowned. "Have you finished your homework today? I won't put in a good word for you with your teacher tomorrow."

My daughter immediately made a fuss and ran off to her room.

Only after she closed the bedroom door did my expression change.

Howard took my hand and said gently, "You don't actually believe what our daughter said, do you? Kids always love to exaggerate. Sydney just slipped, that's all."

Slippedand landed exactly on his lap, and then our daughter got to sit on top too?

I took a deep breath.

I didn't want to have a big blowup with Howard at home and upset our daughter.

I pulled my hand away coldly, turned, and went into the kitchen.

In all fairness, I shouldn't have doubted Howard.

We've known each other for thirteen years and been together for twelve.

We came all this way together, through the bitter and the sweet, holding each other up.

When his family business was dividing up its power, I hunted for weaknesses in his competitors' business proposals.

He landed the most important deal, and when his rivals found out I'd helped him, they didn't come after himthey came after me.

That night, a group of men dragged me into an alley.

He came to get me and fought them until they were all bloodied and battered.

He really did love me.

In the fifth year we were together, he proposed.

I was a PhD student in finance; he had taken over the family business and was already a business leader.

In the seventh year, I gave birth to our daughter, Muriel.

The delivery went wrongsevere hemorrhagingand I had to have my uterus removed.

So I would never have to worry about having children again, he got a vasectomy on his own.

Plenty of pretty women threw themselves at him, and he turned them all down, even blocking the people who tried to set him up.

His secretaries had always been men.

I had always trusted him.

Until six months ago, when he switched to a female secretary.

Three months ago, I met her once.

Sydney Porter, twenty-two, fresh out of college.

I forced my emotions down and finished cleaning up the kitchen.

Howard doesn't like having other people in the house, so the housekeeper leaves once dinner is made.

Everything else, I do myself.

I used to feel I did it all gladly.

Now all that's left is a cold, disheartened heart.

As I lay in bed, Howard sensed I was in a bad mood.

He reached out to pull me close. "Is a little thing like this really worth getting angry over?"

My stomach turned. I pushed his hand away and stood up.

"I'm going to sleep with our daughter."

He held me back. "It's so latewhy disturb her..."

I shook off his hand. "Don't worry. I won't question her about it."

The next day, I made breakfast for Muriel as usual.

The three of us sat at the table, but it was quieter than it usually was.

Muriel ate carefully. "Did I say something wrong yesterday?"

Howard immediately started cracking jokes, sitting down next to me, holding one of us with each hand.

I didn't want my daughter to worry, so I forced down the nausea in my chest and put on a smile.

Luckily, Muriel didn't notice anything off.

After she left, Howard blocked my way.

"Agatha, that was just a misunderstanding." He held me tightly. "A little kid says something offhand, and it leaves you sulking all day long."

Howard thought I was only jealous.

"It's the first time you've used a female secretary."

Howard laughed. "That's all this is about?"

He looked at me, his gaze steady and full of tenderness.

"There's nothing between her and me. Once we hire someone else, I'll replace her right away, all right?"

I stayed silent for a moment, then let the matter drop instead of pressing Howard on it.

He was busy, and so was I.

After graduation, Howard wanted me to come work at his company.

I didn't agree. Under my mentor's guidance, I started my own startup.

The professor said it had been my senior's idea.

Except my senior went abroad right after graduation, so it never came to be.

The early days were always hard and hectic.

I had no time to pay attention to the flashy distractions around Howard.

By the time I wrapped up, it was already seven-thirty in the evening.

I picked up my phone. Howard had sent me a few messages saying he was working late tonight and wouldn't be home for dinner.

Muriel had gone to her grandmother's today, so I was in no rush to get home.

When I reached the parking lot, I suddenly turned the car around and drove toward Howard's company.

My head was a fog the whole way.

When the receptionist saw me arrive, a flash of surprise crossed her face, but then she broke into a bright smile and called out "the boss's wife," escorting me to the private elevator.

By the time I reached the area outside Howard's office, before I even stepped in, I could hear the cheerful laughter inside.

The air conditioning wasn't even on, yet a chill ran through my whole body.

Through the glass, Sydney had her arms wrapped around Howard's neck from behind, leaning against him.

Howard had his head tilted, walking Sydney through a project proposal.

His gaze was focused and gentle.

Familiar and yet strange.

The man who said he had to work late was now with another woman, as close as a couple freshly fallen in love.

That scene crashed into my sight, and something in my mind came down with a roar.

I wanted to charge in and cut off Sydney's hand right there.

The corridor lights came on.

Howard looked up, his expression changing all at once.

He stood and came toward me, and by the time he reached me his face was all delight.

"Honey, what brings you here all of a sudden? Here to pick me up after work?"

Sydney stood beside him, tilted her head up, and called out "sister-in-law" with a smile.

I narrowed my eyes and gave a cold laugh. "Isn't she your secretary? Why is she calling me her sister-in-law? What, does no one at your company know how to keep proper boundaries?"

"Or is every woman at your company this close with youare they all your dear little sisters?"

Sydney's eyes reddened at once, and she bit her lip. "Howard takes such good care of me, treats me like a little sister. And I'm the one who usually looks after his meals and daily needs. It's not what you think, sister-in-law."

His meals and daily needs?

So it had already gone that far.

I raised an eyebrow and said impatiently, "This is a workplace, not some game of house you're playing. My company still has a deal on the table with yours, so please use a proper professional address. My name is Ms. Bell."

Howard leaned down and pulled me into his arm. "Why are you so upset? Just because I didn't get home on time today?"

The loving gesture softened something in me.

The next moment he added, "She didn't mean anything by it. The girl has no one to lean on at work; calling me 'Howard' like that saves her a lot of trouble."

"Don't give her a hard time, okay?"

Sydney's tears fell, as if she'd suffered some terrible injustice, and she tugged at Howard's sleeve. "I'm fine, Howard."

A flicker of tenderness crossed Howard's eyes, and his arm around me even loosened a little.

I threw his arm off. Caught off guard, Howard stumbled back a few steps and knocked into the table.

Sydney rushed over at once, glaring at me. "Ms. Bell, it's one thing to target me, but why would you do this to Howard!"

She clutched the hand he'd hurt and gently blew on it.

Her eyes were innocent and resolute, as if the two of them were the ones with an invincible true love.

Howard's face darkened too, and he snapped, irritated, "What exactly do you want?"

I flipped Howard's table right over.

Ink splashed out and soaked them both.

Sydney shrieked, "Howard, these are the clothes you bought me, they're expensive!"

No time to come home, but plenty of time to go clothes shopping with someone else.

No wonder she'd ended up on his lap.

Howard soothed her gently. "We'll just buy more."

Then he turned to me, his gaze strange, full of disappointment.

They were the ones who'd crossed the line, yet I was the one acting hysterical, like a shrew.

"Agatha Bell, take a moment and calm down."

I went home dejected and disheveled.

Sometimes I can't understand why two people who clearly love each other end up apart.

The truth is actually very simple. I just don't want to believe it.

A once-familiar heart changes so easily.

Once, Howard truly loved me.

But today, he was aching over someone else's ache.

My house is very clean, because I'm a neat freak.

My heart is the same.

If the person I've let inside it turns filthy, they shouldn't get to stay there.

I called my lawyer, my best friend.

"Draft me a divorce agreement."

The next morning, Vanessa drove over to my place bright and early with the divorce agreement.

After she'd heard me out, she cursed Howard up and down, said he wasn't even human.

But just as I was about to sign, she pressed my hand down again.

She said seriously, "Have you really thought this through? He's no good, sure, but what about Muriel?"

"She's only five, and she's going to be living in a single-parent home. Will she get talked about at preschool? Will it hurt her psychologically?"

"I've seen too many divorce cases."

"But the child is innocent."

My heart was pierced with pain.

I wavered.

Picturing Muriel's innocent, guileless smile, I suddenly couldn't bring myself to do it.

However badly Howard and I got along.

Muriel would never want her real parents to split up at such a young age.

"Think it over some more. If you two divorce and Howard really does marry that Sydney, do you think she'll be good to Muriel?"

"Even if you get custody, Howard still has visitation rights. What if Muriel insists on going to Howard's place and gets mistreated?"

I slowly set down the pen.

Vanessa knows me well.

She knew that was the thing I feared most of all.

Seeing me fall silent, Vanessa sighed.

"Why don't you go ask Muriel what she wants?"

I stood up at once, resolute.

I hurried to my parents' house with Vanessa, only to be told that Howard had already come and taken Muriel.

"Howard came for Muriel first thing this morning, said he was taking her to Disneyland."

"There was someone else sitting in his car toolooked like a woman."

The fire in my chest flared up again.

The thought of Howard and Sydney taking Muriel along sent my emotions spiraling out of control.

I ran back to the car and raced toward Disneyland.

It's supposed to be the happiest place in the world, yet I felt a chill through my whole body.

I was truly scared.

Scared Muriel would get hurt, scared Sydney meant her harm, scared that Howard, who'd barely ever looked after Muriel, might slip up for even a moment.

Disneyland is huge, and finding them should have been hard.

But it seemed even fate was on my side.

I'd walked only a few more steps when I saw them on the carousel.

Sydney and Muriel sat together, while Howard took photos of them from the other side.

Happy as could be, just like a family of three.

All the anger I'd brought with me had turned into numbness in my chest.

Vanessa had never met Sydney Porter, but she knew Howard Simmons.

She pointed over there. "Hey, Howard's over there, Muriel"

The moment she saw Muriel in another woman's arms, her voice cut off.

The place was buzzing with noise, but my mind was dead silent.

When they came out of the attraction, Muriel saw me first.

"Mommy!"

Howard frowned. "Why are you shouting like that?"

Following Muriel's gaze, he saw me.

Howard's expression changed.

Sydney, standing beside him, saw me and straightened up.

"Agatha, what brings you here?"

"To pick up Muriel and take her home." My face was blank.

Sydney was as thoughtful as if she were the lady of the house. "Muriel's having such a good time. Are you still blaming me? I'll head back right now. You and Howard can stay and play with Muriel."

Vanessa blew up the second she heard that.

"We're all tap water here, so quit pretending you're bottled spring water."

"'Howard, Howard' all day longyou planning to lay an egg for him?"

"Your blush looks a little light. Want me to touch it up with my palm?"

"You stinking slut!"

Sydney went pale and clung weakly to Howard, as if she'd collapse into his arms at any moment.

"Do you have some misunderstanding about me? Howard and I aren't what you think."

Vanessa sneered. "I haven't even said anything yet, and you're already jumping to fit the description."

Seeing them press closer and closer together, Vanessa finally couldn't hold back and rushed forward, shoving Sydney away.

"What do you think you're doing, getting all handsy? Don't you know he's somebody else's husband?"

Sydney let herself fall to the ground, fat tears spilling from her eyes.

Howard flew into a rage and smashed Muriel's favorite LinaBell glass on the ground, shards scattering everywhere.

"What is it you people want?!"

"She's just a young girl. I figured Muriel would be off today, so I had her come out and play with Muriel."

"Muriel likes her too, which is the only reason I invited her."

"Agatha Bell, I've put up with more from you than I ever should have."

Muriel crouched on the ground and burst out crying.

Howard tried to pick her up, but Muriel shrank into my arms.

His hand froze in midair, a flicker of hurt in his eyes.

The next second, that hurt turned into blame aimed at me.

"Agatha Bell, do you really have to make a scene like this in front of the child?"

I stared blankly at the stranger in front of me.

In all these years, he had never spoken to me like that.

He was the one who'd shown up here with another woman. He was the one who, in front of his daughter, protected another woman again and again.

Yet in the end, I was the one making the scene.

Sydney sobbed, "Howard, please don't blame your wife. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have come."

Howard closed his eyes for a moment, his voice weary. "You did nothing wrong."

Four words, dropping lightly into the air.

My arms tightened around Muriel.

Vanessa was so furious she wanted to keep going, but I stopped her.

People around us were looking over.

Howard lowered his voice. "Let's go home first. Whatever it is, we'll talk about it there."

He was still the same.

Always able to strike the most dignified pose at his most disgraceful moment.

As if lowering his voice and straightening his back were enough to make the fault not his.

I crouched down, lifted Muriel into my arms, and calmly looked at Howard holding Sydney up.

"Let's get a divorce."