On Grandma's Anniversary, Brother Forced Grave-Sweeping; Regret Drove Him Mad

On the anniversary of Grandma's death, my eldest brother wanted me to atone, and he forcibly dragged mefresh off heart surgeryup the mountain to tend Grandma's grave.

Halfway up the slope, a heart attack hit me and I collapsed to the ground in agony.

Instinctively I turned to my second brother, the doctor, for helpbut to my shock, Ralph spoke first, his face full of disgust.

"Grandma may have treated you harshly, but she died saving you. How can you nurse a grudge and fake being dead just to get out of paying your respects to her!"

Before I could answer, Cassandra took Ralph's arm, leaning in close and affectionate. "Ralph, don't be angry. If Jean won't pay her respects to Grandma, I'll go in her place."

Ralph glanced at me and said through gritted teeth, "What an ingrate! She isn't worth a single one of Cassie's fingers!"

Samuel joined in. "Jean Henson, I don't care how you fake iteven if you're dying, you're going to hold on until you reach Grandma's grave and kowtow and apologize!"

They hauled me up by force, and after a few steps I pitched forward hard into a thicket full of thorns.

When I opened my eyes again, I found I had left my body and become a wisp of soul.

Ralph, I'm sorry.

I didn't disobey you on purpose. I just couldn't hold on any longer.

1.

"Jean Henson, haven't you caused enough of a scene?!"

Samuel was burning with rage, and he drew back his leg and kicked me viciously.

The force was brutal. My corpse slid downward, out of control, my whole face driving into the bushes, blood pouring out.

That patch of crimson stung Ralph's eyes. In the end he couldn't bring himself to leave me there, and he reached out to help me up.

But the instant he touched my body, a pair of soft, delicate hands pulled him away.

Cassandra crouched down, bent close to my ear, and spoke in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear:

"Jean, sweetie, stop making a fuss."

"Last night you said you wished Grandma would die sooner, that you'd never kowtow to her and apologize. Saying angry things is one thingbut how could you actually do this! Whatever you think, Grandma raised you. You can't be so ungrateful."

"Get up now, don't make your brothers angry."

As her words fell, a flicker of rage crossed the depths of Ralph's eyes. He knit his brows, and his voice suddenly rose.

"Jean Henson! I never imagined you could even say such things. I thought you were just immature, but I never dreamed you had no conscience at all!"

"Right now, this instant! Get up, get on your knees and go kowtow to Grandma and admit your mistake!"

His words were carried off, leaving only the whistling of the wind.

Seeing that I still didn't stir, Ralph finally couldn't hold back. From somewhere he found a length of cane and swung it down across my back.

Cassandra reached out as if to stop him. "Ralph, you've always doted on Jean. She's young and doesn't know betterthat's the only reason she'd do something like this. Don't take it to heartit would be a shame to damage the bond between siblings."

At that, a chilling cold radiated from Ralph, and the look he gave me was like ice. "Rightit's precisely because I've always been too indulgent with her that she's grown so entitled she's turned into a complete ingrate!"

"It's all my fault. Now I'm going to discipline her properly, in our parents' place!"

With that, the thorn-covered cane lashed hard across my back, and bloodstains bled through my lake-blue shirt.

2.

Even though I could no longer feel the pain, Ralph's look of disgust was like a sharp thorn driven into my heart.

A fine, relentless ache spread like vines, tendril by tendril, into every inch of me.

The year I was five, after our parents died in a car crash, the three of us siblings were sent back to Grandma's house.

That crash left me with severe post-traumatic stress, my moods swinging up and down.

It made Grandma, who already favored boys over girls, hate me even more, and she would beat and curse me constantly.

My two brothers always shielded me, never letting me get hurt in the slightest.

Ralph had been admitted to a top university in the Capital, but to protect me he gave up his place and chose a lesser local college close to home.

And Samuel, who dreamed of becoming a singer, turned down the offer from a music conservatory and threw himself into the medical field, all to treat the aftereffects of my trauma.

Everyone said the Henson brothers spoiled me to the skies.

Even I firmly believed I would always be my brothers' cherished favorite.

Until Ralph brought Cassandra home.

She was Ralph's junior schoolmate. Her family was poor, and like us she had lost her parents young.

But she never wallowed in self-pity.

She was beautiful, bright, and lively, brimming with a vitality that could infect everyone around her.

At first, Ralph solemnly promised me:

"Cassie lost both her parents when she was young. She got into college through her own hard work, but she has nothing to live on. I really can't just leave her to fend for herself."

"Don't worry, her coming here won't take away any of your brothers' love for you. We'll always love you the most."

Hearing those wordsthat she'd lost both parentsfilled me with pity, and I accepted her from the bottom of my heart.

But she was always hostile toward me, doing everything she could to make me lose my temper at her in front of my brothers.

On Cassandra's birthday, my brothers prepared the gifts she'd wanted, but none of them satisfied her.

She kicked up a fuss demanding my braceleta keepsake my mother had given me before she died.

For the first time I refused her, but Ralph scolded me for being immature, and Samuel urged me to be more gracious.

I wouldn't budge, so Cassandra waited until no one was watching and snatched at it.

I gave her a gentle push, hardly any force at all, yet she fell hard to the ground.

That was the first time I saw anger in Ralph's eyes. He raised his hand at me, but in the end he couldn't bring himself to strike.

After that, my brothers were disappointed in me, and their attitude slowly grew cold.

Until Grandma died saving me, and they lost all patience with megrew sick of me, even.

They watched me be worn down by heart disease until I hardly looked human, and they felt nothing.

Alone, I went from hospital to hospital, and at last I got my heart surgery.

I thought that as long as I was healthy and no longer a burden to my brothers, they would love me the way they used to.

But now I've seen with my own eyes their disgust for meand they've even raised their hands against me.

My chest felt like it had been smashed open, a gaping hole gushing blood.

As my thoughts came back to me, I saw Ralph whip me three hard times, then throw the cane aside, spent.

When I still didn't react, his anger turned into a laugh.

"Jean Henson, you're really making something of yourself. You take a beating and you can just play dead without making a sound! You think that gives you a hold over me?"

He clenched his fists tight, his voice trembling slightly. "You like playing dead, huh! Then don't you ever get up again, and you'd better really be dead! Otherwise, even if you kneel in front of me, I will never forgive you!"

With that, Ralph walked off without looking back.

Samuel took a deep breath and said to me patiently, "Jean, stop making a scene and get up!"

"It's about to rain. We have to head down the mountain once we've finished paying our respects to Grandma. Otherwise the path will be slippery and steep in the rain, and it'll be dangerous for everyone. You can't keep acting up."

Even after he finished, I stayed completely still.

Seeing that I was past shame, like a dead pig that doesn't fear boiling water, Samuel couldn't hold back any longer and threw out one last cruel line. "Jean Henson! You really disappoint me! Want to play dead? Then go ahead and die for real!"

With that, he kicked a rock down hard, grabbed Cassandra, and left.

The rock struck the back of my head, and blood trickled out.

Luckily I was already dead, so I couldn't feel the pain anymore.

Disheartened, I wanted to leave then and there, but I found my soul was being pulled by some unknown force, unable to leave their side.

Ralph walked ahead, his face still carrying undisguised anger.

Cassandra hurried to catch up, her face full of worry. "Ralph, is it dangerous for Jean to be up there all alone? You hit her so hard just now, I'm afraid her heart can't take it. What if"

"There's no 'what if'!"

Ralph raised a hand to cut her off.

"How could she possibly be in danger? Her parents both died in a car accident when she was five, and she survived it. She's got a tough life in her!"

"Besides, her heart surgery went very well, and she took her medication before we left home. There's no way a little upset like this could put her life at risk."

"We've spoiled her rotten since she was little, which is exactly why she doesn't even feel guilty about causing Grandma's death! If I don't teach her a proper lesson, she'll never learn her place!"

With that, Ralph kept walking, and Samuel followed, soothing him.

"Never mind her. She's the one who played dead to fool us, so she deserves to suffer a bit."

"Besides, knowing Jean, by now she's already gone down the mountain and back home, waiting for us to come coax her!"

Looking at those two familiar figures ahead of me, a bitter ache rose in my chest.

Ralph, have you forgotten? The medicine you told Cassandra to give meshe just left it on the table and never gave it to me at all.

If he had only spared me a single glance just now, he would have known I wasn't faking death, that I really was having a heart attack.

Unfortunately, not one of them was willing to believe me.

Suddenly thunder crashed across the sky, and a storm was about to break.

The group quickened their pace, and when they reached Grandma's headstone, the sight before them left them speechless.

The bluestone tombstone had been savagely smashed, leaving several cracks and crumbled edges. Even Grandma's name carved into it had been scratched until it was a blur.

Ralph stood frozen in place, his fists clenched so tightly his fingertips went white, and even his voice carried a slight tremor. "Who did this!"

Samuel's face was white as paper, his lips trembling uncontrollably, his eyes full of heartbreak as he looked at the tombstone.

He couldn't believe that Grandma, who had doted on him most in life, couldn't even rest in peace after death.

Samuel dropped to his knees before the tombstone in anguish, tracing Grandma's name over and over, the tiny shards of stone cutting his fingers. In a hoarse voice, he apologized again and again. "Grandma, I'm sorry! It's all my fault for not coming to see you sooner, for letting you suffer. It's all my fault."

Cassandra's eyes were red as she reached out and pulled Samuel to his feet. Her voice was soft and sweet, yet deliberately choked with sobs. "Samuel, don't blame yourself too much. This isn't your fault."

But the more she comforted him, the more it sounded like an accusation.

Samuel buried his face and wept bitterly, swearing he would find the culprit who had damaged Grandma's tombstone.

Cassandra patted his back gently, lowered her eyes, and looked as though she wanted to say something but held back.

Ralph caught the hint and asked, "Cassie, do you know who wrecked Grandma's tombstone?"

"I" Cassandra shook her head, but her eyes drifted toward the road they had come in on.

Ralph suddenly remembered something. His once-gentle features twisted completely, and fury welled in his bloodshot eyes. "Was it Jean Henson who did this?"

Cassandra paused, her fingertips curling slightly. She seemed to be defending me, but every word pointed straight at me. "Yesterday I saw Jean come to the grave alone and stay for a long time before she left, and today Grandma's tombstone looks like this I'm not saying I suspect her, I'm just afraid she might have lost her head for a moment and done something wrong."

The moment she finished, Ralph's rage flared even higher, and he said with total certainty, "It had to be Jean Henson! No wonder she'd rather play dead and take my beating than come to Grandma's grave. It's because she has a guilty conscience!"

Ralph beat his chest and stamped his feet in bitter regret. "It's all my fault for spoiling her, that's why she'd do something so unforgivable!"

His voice echoed again and again through the empty cemetery.

The next second, the rain that had been building finally came pouring down. I drifted above it all and saw my own corpse washed by the rain, flesh and bone turned outward, utterly horrifying.

I even found myself a little eager to see how my brothers would react when they saw my dead body.

Would it be regret, or relief that I really had died just as they'd wanted?

But the scene I imagined never happened, because the group chose the other route, the fastest way down the mountain.

Soaked to the bone, Ralph returned home from the cemetery, the menace around him more piercing than the cold rain.

He kicked my door open. "Jean Henson, get out here!"

Only silence answered him.

Ralph, his eyes red, rushed into the room, yanked the blankets off the bed, then threw open the wardrobe and flung all my clothes out.

At last his gaze landed on the family photo on the table.

It showed Mom and Dad holding me when I was five, with my two brothers standing beside them. It was the only photo of all of us together.

"No! Don't!"

I spread my arms to try to block my furious brother, but I couldn't touch him.

Ralph walked straight through my body and tore the photo to shreds.

"Jean Henson, you wicked seed! You ruined Grandma's resting placewhat right do you have to keep this family photo? You don't deserve it!"

He roared at the empty room, his voice nearly overflowing with hatred.

Then he threw the little dress and the bracelet Mom had given me into the fire, and the flames swallowed the things that carried my precious memories.

I clutched my chest, my heart turning cold inch by inch.

So it turned out the most painful revenge wasn't the beating or the cursingit was their certainty that I was guilty, while I didn't even get a chance to defend myself.

Cassandra pulled the same trick again, pretending to comfort him. "Ralph, don't make yourself sick over this. The most urgent thing right now is to find Jean. Maybe she has some reason for all this."

"It's raining so hard out there, and you hurt her too. I'm afraid something might really happen to her."

"Forget about her!" My second brother, who had been silent this whole time, spoke up. He looked calmly at the wreckage all over the room, then turned and picked up my cat.

This was the kitten Samuel had given me to help heal my post-traumatic stress disorder. It had kept me company through every hard day and night.

Panicking, I knelt on the floor and kowtowed again and again. "Samuel, I was wrongplease, spare it."

But he couldn't hear me, and he couldn't see me.

He lifted the kitten high and hurled it off the twelfth floor.

"Jean Henson, a person as vicious as you doesn't deserve to keep a cat! I'm going to make you taste what it's like to lose what you love most."

I stood frozen in place, too grief-stricken to make a sound.

The next second, a familiar ringtone broke the silence of the room, and Ralph answered the phone.

The voice on the other end was rushed and grating. "The girl who was tending the grave with you earlier todayshe's dead up on the mountain!"