The Day My Husband Fetched Me, I Tore the Ticket

My husband spent six grueling years making it to the city, and the day he came back to bring me along for the good life,

I tore up the train ticket in front of the whole village.

In my last life, I took that ticket, carried my son, and followed him into the city.

To save on rent, I slept in the kitchen with my child for three years.

So he could focus on earning his professional title, I spent my days gluing cardboard boxes for other people and my nights washing the whole family's clothes.

After my mother-in-law became bedridden, I was the one who cared for her for eight years, cleaning up her waste.

He got promoted, was allotted a house, and our son got into college.

Only meover forty, no job, no work history to my name.

I couldn't even pull fifty dollars out of my pocket.

Later he decided I was an embarrassment to him, and even our son tried to talk me down:

"Mom, everyone Dad deals with now is educated. Stop showing up at his work."

On the day of the divorce, he kept mocking me:

"You ate my food and lived in my house for twenty yearswhat makes you think you get a share?"

But he was the one who wouldn't let me work in the first place.

"I can support you. A woman keeping the home is worth more than anything."

In this life, he held that ticket out to me again.

My mother-in-law pushed me to go pack.

My mother, eyes red, said I'd finally made it through.

Expressionless, I took the ticketand tore it in two right there.

When Seth Dickerson came back, a crowd had gathered at the edge of the village.

A black leather bag was strapped to the back of his bicycle, and two pounds of meat and a bag of white flour hung from the handlebars.

"Seth's really made something of himself."

"Carla's finally made it through."

His mother, Leah Whitney, was smiling so wide her mouth wouldn't close, her whole face full of smug pride.

After Seth stepped into the yard, he pulled a brown paper bag out of the leather bag.

"Train tickets for the day after tomorrow."

"Carla and Daryl are coming with me."

The yard broke into excitement at once.

"Carla's going to be a city person from now on."

"Six years of waiting, and it paid off."

I stood off to the side, looking at the two tickets in his hand, and something in my chest sank a little.

In my last life, I took those two tickets, carried my son, and followed him into the city.

But this wasn't the first time I'd given up a job for him.

Six years ago, the village elementary school was short a substitute teacher.

Mr. James brought the registration form to my house himself.

I'd finished high school, and my grades had always been among the best in the village.

Back then, though, Seth spent an entire night talking me out of it, that form in his hand.

"Carol's dad died young, and her mom's health is bad."

"This job matters more to her."

Carol Fox.

Seth's childhood sweetheart, the two of them raised together.

Their two houses were separated only by a strip of field.

I'd asked him the question back then, a faint bitterness rising in me.

"And what about me?"

Seth smiled and took my hand, his tone offhand.

"You're going to be my wife."

"Supporting you is nothing to me."

The next day, I returned the registration form.

Carol Fox became the substitute teacher at the village elementary school.

And after I married Seth, I had a child, cared for the old folks, and waited in the village for six long years.

"Carla."

Seth held the ticket out to me, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Hold on to it."

My mother-in-law gave me a shove too, her voice urgent.

"What are you standing there for?"

"Go to the city and take good care of Seth. A man earns money out there, and all you have to do is keep the home."

I took the train ticket, my fingertips brushing the paper, and my chest gave a hard jolt.

Both hands pulled.

A ripping sound.

The two tickets split down the middle.

The yard went silent in an instant.

The sunflower seeds in my mother-in-law's hand scattered across the table, and the smile froze on her face.

Seth's face darkened, his brows knotting tight.

"Carla Fox, what are you doing?"

I set the torn pieces on the table, my back rigid and straight.

"I'm not going."

"Have you lost your mind?"

My mother-in-law grabbed my arm, gripping hard, her eyes full of disbelief.

"So many women dream of going to the city, and you dare tear up the ticket?"

Seth stared at me, anger pressed down behind his eyes.

"Don't make trouble."

In my past life, those were the words I feared most.

Hearing them in this life, a numbness spread through my chest, and I felt nothing at all.

"I'm not making trouble."

"I'm going to register for the teacher certification exam."

Someone in the yard laughed at once, a mocking edge to it.

"Carla still wants to be a teacher?"

"How many years since you've even touched a book?"

Seth's face grew uglier by the second, the mood around him sinking.

"Get inside first."

That night, once Daryl was asleep,

I sat under the lamp sorting my registration papers, smoothing the pages flat with my fingertips over and over.

Seth leaned against the table, smoking, the smoke curling around him, his voice full of impatience.

"What exactly are you trying to pull?"

"I told you, I want to work."

"And if you're working, what happens to the family?"

He counted it off on his fingers, looking utterly sure of himself.

"Daryl's only seven. He needs to eat, he needs to go to school."

"I put in over ten hours a day at the factoryam I supposed to come home and do my own laundry and cooking too?"

"And Mom's getting older; somebody's got to look after her."

He finished with a look that said it was all beyond question.

"Come to the city with me and take care of the home."

"I can afford to support you."

That same line again.

Six years ago, this was exactly how he made me hand my job to Carol Fox.

I looked at him, a wave of hurt rising in my chest.

"And if I insist on taking the exam anyway?"

Seth stubbed out his cigarette, anger in the motion.

"Suit yourself."

He opened the leather bag and put back the thirty dollars and grain coupons he'd meant to leave for the family, his eyes cold and hard.

"Since you're so capable, starting this month, I'm not sending money."

"You earn your own keep."

I nodded, my fingertips tightening a little.

"Fine."

Seth let out a cold laugh, a sneer twisting his lips.

"Fine."

"Let's just see how long you can keep this up."

The next morning, my mother-in-law sat at the dining table and started scolding me, her voice rising, full of resentment.

"Once a woman marries a man, that man is her whole sky."

"Seth's got a stable salaried job in the city now. You've got a ready-made good life waiting for you, and instead you insist on going out and fighting men for a job."

She fed another stick of firewood into the stove, her temper still not cooled.

"A man is the pillar that holds up the sky. A woman is just the stick that stokes the fire."

"Cooking, tending the fire, waiting on the whole householdthat's a woman's proper place."

I was carrying a bowl of freshly boiled vegetable soup to the table, and it didn't sit right with me.

Daryl ran in with his schoolbag on his back and spoke without a care.

"Grandma's right."

My hand holding the bowl wobbled.

The hot soup spilled straight onto my left wrist.

The skin went red at once, and blisters quickly swelled up.

The pain made me set the bowl down, and I hurried my hand into the cold water, sucking in a sharp breath.

Daryl stood beside me and pressed on, his face full of confusion.

"Mom, why do you have to work?"

"Wouldn't it be better to go to the city with Dad?"

I looked up at him, and my chest clenched.

"Mom wants a job of her own too."

"But Dad can make money."

He knit his little brow, his tone innocent and blunt.

"If you go to work, who's going to cook for me? Who's going to do my laundry?"

My wrist was still soaking in the cold water.

Seth walked in right then, swept a glance over the scene, and spoke with a trace of mockery.

"Even the kid has more sense than you."

As he said it, he called his son over, his gaze settling on Daryl's face.

"Daryl."

"Dad's asking you something."

"Would you rather come to the city with Dad, or stay here with your mom?"

Daryl blurted it out almost without hesitation.

"With Dad."

"Why?"

"The schools in the city are good."

The boy counted on his fingers, laying it all out plainly.

"And Dad gets a salary."

At the end, he glanced at me, his eyes cool.

"Mom can't earn money anyway."

Looking at that seven-year-old face, a wave of bitterness rushed into my throat.

In my last life, Daryl at over forty had stood in front of me the very same way.

"Mom, the people my dad deals with now are all educated. Stop showing up at his workplace to see him."

So that line wasn't something he'd only learned after growing up.

I lifted my scalded hand out of the water, my fingertips trembling faintly.

"Then go with your dad."

Daryl froze, a flicker of shock in his eyes.

"Mom?"

"If you want to go, then go."

He opened his mouth.

Seth's face darkened first, his brows knitting tight.

"Carla Fox, what's that supposed to mean?"

"You don't even want the kid anymore?"

"You're the one who made him choose."

I took a clean cloth and wrapped it around my wrist, my movements calm.

My mother-in-law gave a cold snort, her face full of scorn.

"Quit acting so tough."

"Once Seth really takes the boy away, we'll see if you cry."

That afternoon, I went to the village accountant to get an official reference letter.

I'd barely finished explaining when Seth came riding up on his bicycle, his face set to stop me.

"Uncle, don't write that letter."

The village accountant stopped his pen and looked up at us.

"What's going on?"

Seth shot me a glance, his tone hard.

"She's coming to the city with me any day now. What does she need to sign up as a teacher for?"

I pushed the paperwork across, my gaze steady.

"Please stamp it."

Seth spoke up suddenly, his tone turning to persuasion.

"Carla Fox, do you really have to fight Carol for this?"

I looked up, and a chill ran through me.

"What do you mean?"

"Carol signed up too."

"She's been a substitute at the school for six years. She knows a lot more than you do."

He frowned, wearing the look of a man thinking of my best interests.

"Her mother's in poor health. That job is all she's counting on."

"You're coming to the city with meyou'll have food and a place to live. Why do you have to snatch away her one path?"

The room went quiet.

Six years ago.

The same speech.

She was struggling.

She needed it.

I had him.

So I should be the one to give way.

I stared at Seth for a moment, and the grievance packed down in my chest came surging up.

"Six years ago, I already gave way to her once."

"This time, whoever passes the exam goes."

The village accountant brought the red seal down hard.

I put the reference letter away.

Behind me Seth sneered, his voice full of scorn.

"Fine."

"When you fail the exam, don't blame me for not leaving you a way out."

On the last day of registration, I left home before dawn.

By the time I reached the township central elementary school, more than a dozen people were already lined up at the entrance.

Carol Fox was there too.

When she saw me, she clearly froze for a moment, a flicker of surprise crossing her eyes.

"Carla?"

"Didn't Seth come back to take you into the city?"

"I'm not going."

She pressed her lips together, her expression complicated.

When it was my turn, the teacher finished going through my materials and frowned slightly.

"You're missing three photos."

"And the graduation certificate is incomplete. Where's the last page?"

My heart sank.

The clock on the wall already read past eleven.

"The deadline is five in the afternoon?"

"That's right."

I hurried home with the materials in my arms, my steps quick.

The photos I could retake in town.

But the graduation certificate had to be found first.

When I got home, I went through all the old boxes.

Nothing.

In the end, all I could do was dig through the old cabinet where Seth kept his documents.

The bottom drawer was so old it had jammed shut.

I yanked at it hard a few times.

The drawer suddenly came loose and slammed down onto the top of my foot.

The pain made me drop into a crouch on the spot, sucking in a sharp breath.

The top of my foot swelled up fast.

I sat there for a few dozen seconds, then gritted my teeth, got up, and kept searching.

Finally, in the old leather case under Seth's bed, my hand found a folder.

Just as I pulled it out, a hand suddenly reached over from behind me.

Seth grabbed the folder, his face dark.

"Who said you could go through my things?"

"My certificate is in there."

"Let go."

He gave a hard yank back.

My right hand smashed against the metal edge of the broken cabinet beside me.

My palm split open in a gash.

Blood ran down my wrist.

I flinched my hand back in pain, my fingertips tingling.

The folder dropped to the floor.

Several sheets of paper scattered out.

The one at the very bottom was the graduation certificate I was missing.

Seth glanced down at my bleeding hand, a mocking twist to the corner of his mouth.

"Putting yourself through all this for some worthless exam. Is it worth it?"

He bent down and picked up the graduation certificate.

I stared at him, cold and bitter inside.

"Didn't you say you'd never seen it?"

Seth folded the certificate and shoved it straight into his breast pocket, his manner hard.

"The train leaves at seven tomorrow morning."

"Come with me today and buy the tickets over again, and I'll give this paper back to you."

"Otherwise, you figure it out on your own."

Leah stood in the doorway backing him up, her tone coaxing.

"Seth is only doing this for your own good."

"Carol's been teaching for six years. What do you have to compete with her?"

I found a piece of cloth and bound it tight around my palm; the blood soaked through the fabric.

"You keep the certificate."

Seth let out a sneer, his eyes full of indifference.

"Without it, let's see how you register."

I limped out the door, pushing my bicycle.

The rear tire felt a little soft.

I was in a hurry, so I just figured it was an old bike slowly leaking air, pumped it up a few times at a neighbor's house, and set off.

First I went to my old high school to get the certificate reissued.

Mr. James heard me out and immediately went to check the graduation records, his face anxious.

"Your file is still here."

"Don't worry."

Past two o'clock, the certificate was reissued and the principal stamped it.

Then I went to the photo studio to pick up the photos.

When I came out, it had started to drizzle.

The dirt road out to the township got slipperier and slipperier.

On the next long slope, the rear wheel suddenly kicked out to the side.

I went down into the ditch, bike and all.

My knee slammed hard against a rock.

My pants tore on the spot, and a big patch of skin scraped off my knee and shin.

When I got up, blood had already run down my leg and into my shoe, and my whole body throbbed with pain.

The cloth on my right palm was soaked through with blood again.

I stood holding onto the bicycle for a moment, a stubborn will pushing at my chest.

It was past four.

I gritted my teeth and got back on.

At four forty, I finally made it to the registration office.

The teacher looked at me, covered in mud and blood, her face shocked.

"Did you fall?"

"Register me first."

She took the materials right away.

The red stamp came down with a snap.

"You're registered."

"The exam is at eight the morning after tomorrow."

I clutched the receipt in my hand, my knuckles pressing hard, and my chest eased just a little.

By the time I got home, it was already dark.

Leah saw me limping in through the door.

First she twisted her mouth, her tone full of annoyance.

"So you really did ride it back."

I stopped.

"What do you mean?"

She glanced at my leg and spoke without a trace of guilt.

"I just let a little air out of the rear tire, thinking you'd stay put at home for a day."

"Who knew you'd act like your life meant nothing, riding on a half-flat tire?"

I stared at her, a chill spreading through my chest.

Leah, instead, raised her voice, righteous.

"What are you looking at?"

"You fell because you had to go make trouble for yourself!"

Seth came out of the room, still holding my graduation certificate in his hand.

Seeing the blood on my leg, he gave a mocking tug at the corner of his mouth.

"Put yourself through all that, and did you even get registered?"

I took the registration receipt out of my cloth bag.

The red stamp facing up.

"I'm registered."

Seth's face fell at once, his eyes full of shock.

I walked past him.

"The exam is the day after tomorrow."