Parker Nora Novel The Forbidden Longing

I always felt my husband was forced to marry me.
Every time we were intimate, Parker only used his hands.
Eventually, I gave up and decided to set him free. But the night before printing the divorce papers, I overheard him with his friends.
Why not touch your wife? Shes right there, one said.
Nora might run off if you keep holding back.
Parker sipped his whiskey. You dont understand. Shes delicate. What if I scare her?
His voice deepened. Shes my wife. I must cherish her. If she finds what I cant give elsewhere fine. As long as she comes home to me.
His friends laughed. Then why secretly Google everything?
That night, I checked Parkers history99 searches, all variations of:
I finally married the girl I love, but I have a kink. How do I not scare her away?

1
The day Parker came back from his business trip, I had a battle plan.
I showered, shaved, and put on a full face of makeup before slipping into the new, sinfully sheer nightgown Id bought. Then, I slid into his side of the bed, waiting to be conquered.
But when he walked out of the bathroom, the sight of me in his sheets made him freeze, the towel in his hands stilled mid-rub.
What are you doing here?
There wasnt a trace of warmth in his voice.
My eyes roamed over him, from top to bottom. Parkers body was a work of art; even the plush bathrobe couldnt hide the swell of his pectoral muscles or the faint outline of his abs. Logically, with a nose that sharp and fingers that long, he had to be well-equipped.
And yet, in six months of marriage, I had never been allowed to get a deeper understanding.
Refusing to be deterred, I decided to be direct.
Im here to sleep with you.
I didnt care what excuses he came up with. Tonight, he was mine.
Parkers expression flickered. His gaze dropped to my lingerie, and after a long pause, he gave a clipped, Fine.
That easy?
I was in disbelief. As he approached the bed, I felt a wave of uncertainty. The only light came from the small, mood-setting lamp on the nightstand. He lay down beside me, a wave of cool air and the clean scent of soap washing over me. My heart hammered against my ribs as I boldly wrapped my arms around his waist.
Parkers entire body went rigid. A beat later, his head turned, his eyes finding mine in the dim light. His voice was a low rasp.
Do you want me to help you?
Before I could answer, he pulled away, his movements swift as he opened the nightstand drawer.

The little spark of excitement inside me was instantly doused by the practiced ease of his actions. I didn't even need to ask. I knew what was coming next.
He was going to fulfill his husbandly dutiesjust not with himself.
A white-hot spike of anger shot through me. It was always like this. His own body was under lock and key, untouchable even when he was clearly aroused.
When he pulled out the finger cots, my face darkened. I snatched them from his hand and threw them at his chest.
Help me with what? Youre so damn vanilla, what new tricks could you possibly have? My voice was sharp, brittle with frustration.
The lamplight was too faint for me to see his expression clearly, but I could feel his dark eyes fixed on me, the intensity of his gaze like a physical touch. It was hot, and maybe, just maybe, laced with confusion.
All the pent-up disappointment surged to the surface. Parker, if you cant get it up, just say so! Its not like youre the only man on the planet. I can find someone else, anytime!
We were married, for Gods sake. Why did every encounter have to feel like he was doing me a reluctant favor?
Thats not what I meant, he said, his voice strained.
But still, he made no move. Not even to cup my face for a kiss. Anything would have been better than this cold distance. This was the third time. The third time Id laid myself bare, only to be rejected.
The disappointment was a crushing weight.
I grabbed the robe Id just discarded and stood up. Then I stormed out, slamming the door with a thunderous crack that echoed the shattering of my patience.

2
I ended up at my best friend Cassies apartment.
My phone buzzed relentlessly on the coffee table.
Not gonna get that? Cassie asked, tilting her head.
I threw back a shot of tequila, the burn in my throat a welcome distraction. With a sigh, I switched my phone off completely.
What kind of trashy cigarettes did you buy? I grumbled, my voice already raspy. One puff and my throats wrecked.
Cassie just laughed, playfully tapping the colorful pack in her hand. They look pretty, dont they?
She held it up for me to see, and with a few casual questions, she had the whole story out of me. Not that I was trying to hide it. There was one question that had been eating me alive.
Cassie, why wont Parker touch me?
Maybe hes not into women?
I shook my head. Parker had a girlfriend in high school, and since then, countless men and women had thrown themselves at him, only to be met with his signature ice-cold rejection.
Then, a thought sparked in my mind.
My eyes narrowed. I bet hes saving himself for my perfect older sister, the one who ran off to Europe.
Id heard the rumors beforethat Parker had always been in love with the gentle, quiet heiress of the Sinclair family. Now, it was all clicking into place.
This marriage I was just a stand-in.
My sister was the one who was supposed to marry Parker. But shed dumped him for her supposed soulmate, some artist she followed to another continent.