The day I flew back home, my best friend's girlfriend cornered me, her eyes burning with hostility.
So, you're the one that got away, huh? His old flame. I'll give you this, you're pretty. But now that he has me, I guess that makes you... what? Just a boring old memory.
I tried to explain that I was just one of the guys, a friend, but she wouldn't let it go.
"Oh, I've seen your type before. The 'cool girl' who plays the 'just one of the guys' card so you can flirt without any consequences."
"Honey, have some self-respect. Don't be some cheap tramp everyone's had a piece of."
I was completely floored.
What the hell was a "cool girl" act?
I'm a guy. A 100% genuine, bona fide guy.

1
The door to the private dining room swung open just as I sat down. Leo walked in with his arm around a woman in a slinky red dress.
"Brian! You're finally back!"
Zack clapped me on the shoulder. "Let me introduce you. This is Leo's girlfriend, Lily."
Lilys eyes roamed over me, top to bottom, and then her brow furrowed.
"Leo, is this the 'old flame' you're always talking about? You've got a pretty face, I'll give you that, but your style is so... androgynous. Neither here nor there."
My hand, holding a teacup, paused mid-air. I looked up and smiled.
"An old flame? That's a new one on me. I didn't know I had that title."
"Don't play dumb," she scoffed, sliding in next to Leo and draping an arm over his shoulder. "Leo has pictures of you on his phone. Calls you his 'best friend.' Sounds more like some unfinished business to me."
Zack quickly tried to smooth things over. "Lily, you've got it all wrong. Brian is one of our brothers..."
"Brother?" Lily let out a sharp, derisive laugh. "What kind of woman runs around calling a bunch of guys her 'brothers'? I see what this is. You're a 'cool girl,' using that face to string guys along, keeping Leo on the back burner."
I set my teacup down and leaned forward. "Miss Lily, first, I'm not stringing anyone along. Second, this 'cool girl' you're talking about... is it possible you're just so insecure you see a rival in everyone?"
"Are you trying to insult me?" Lily shot up, slamming her hand on the table. "I'm warning you, stay away from Leo! Don't think that pretty face gives you a pass to be a homewrecker!"
"Homewrecker?" I raised an eyebrow. "Leo is your boyfriend, not mine. Whether I stay away from him or not is none of your business. But you, on the other hand, attacking me the second we meet? That's just a stunning lack of class."
Leo tugged on Lily's arm. "Lily, stop it. Brian really is my friend..."
"Friend?" She yanked her arm away. "She's a woman! Thinks she can fool everyone by wearing a button-down and a short haircut? It's all an act to get your sympathy so she can snatch other people's boyfriends!"
I pulled out my driver's license and slapped it on the table. "Why don't you see for yourself? The little box next to 'Sex' says 'Male'."
Lily glanced at it for a fraction of a second before whipping her head away. "An ID doesn't prove anything! It could be fake! A girl like you would do anything to get a man."
"You look all prim and proper, but underneath you're just a cheap tramp."
Zack couldn't take it anymore. "Lily, that's way out of line. Brian just got back in the country. What is your problem?"
"My problem?" Lily put her hands on her hips. "My problem is trying to get you guys to see her for who she really is! You're all being fooled by her looks!"
I let out a cold laugh. "Miss Lily, instead of wasting your breath psychoanalyzing me, maybe you should keep a tighter leash on your own boyfriend. After all, turning his best friend into some romantic rival... with an imagination like that, it's a shame you're not writing novels."

2
"Don't you dare get sarcastic with me!" Lily glared, stabbing her fork into the plate with a clatter. "You're just jealous that Leo and I are so happy, so you're trying to stir up trouble!"
Leo looked mortified. "Brian, come on. Lily's young. Don't stoop to her level."
"Youth isn't an excuse for having no brain," I said calmly, taking a bite of food. "I came back to catch up with my friends, not to be screamed at by a stranger for no reason."
"Who's screaming?" Lily's voice shot up, drawing stares from the next table. "I'm warning you! Don't think you can push your luck just because Leo has a soft spot for the past. He's mine now, so you can just give up!"
Zack frowned. "Lily, can you please just talk normally? Brian is a guy. We've known each other since we were kids. Why can't you believe us?"
"I don't believe you!" Lily pointed a finger at me. "Look at him! Delicate skin, soft voice... besides the clothes, what part of him looks like a man? You're all in on it together, trying to give Leo an excuse to keep his side piece around!"
"Side piece?" I put down my fork and met her gaze. "Miss Lily, don't you think you're overestimating your own importance? Even if Leo were looking for a backup, don't you think he'd find someone with a bit more sense than you?"
"Are you saying I don't have sense?" She leaped to her feet, her finger practically touching my nose. "You little manipulator! Think you're so clever? Playing the man to sneak into a group of friends, seducing every guy in sight. You're disgusting!"
"Disgusting?" I stood up too, towering over her by a good half a foot. "I didn't provoke you, I didn't even look at you, and the first meal I have back home, you unleash this tirade on me. Who's the disgusting one here?"
Leo quickly stepped between us. "Hey, hey, break it up! Brian, I'm sorry. On Lily's behalf. She just... she cares about me a lot."
"Cares about you?" I laughed. "If she cared about you, she'd respect your friends, not act like a rabid dog. Miss Lily, I'll tell you one more time: I am a man, and Leo and I are just friends. If you keep this up, don't blame me for not being polite."
Lily was speechless, her eyes turning red. She looked at Leo, her voice dripping with hurt. "Leo, look at how he's bullying me!"
"Alright, alright," Leo said, patting her back. "Brian didn't mean it. Just sit down and eat. Don't ruin the mood for everyone."
Lily shot me a venomous look and sat back down, muttering under her breath, "Such a phony. You can just tell he's bad news."