Without Anesthesia

My private-security boyfriend disappeared for seven days protecting a superstar at a luxury couples' resort in Malibu.

On the eighth day, he stumbled back covered in love bites, eyes bloodshot, kneeling with his service weapon to his temple.

Kate, they spiked my drink. I broke our promises. I deserve to die!

He pulled the trigger without hesitation. The bullet tore through his ear, leaving permanent hearing damage.

Seeing the raw despair in his eyes, the self-hatred consuming him, my heart broke.

I forgave him.

Nine months later, our wedding proceeded without a hitch.

Then the celebrity was exposed heavily pregnant and plunged into a depression that drove her to the rooftop of a nineteen-story building, threatening to jump.

Once again, Shane knelt before me, gun pressed to his temple.

"Kate, just this one last time. Let me save her."

"I swear, this ends it. Clean break."

Ten years together. Yet he thought I'd cave again.

My voice was eerily calm.

"Her or me?"

"Choose her, and it's over. Permanently."

"Kate, I know this is my fault, but I'm responsible for Luna Rossi's unborn child."

"I can't abandon her now"

Shane remained on his knees, his sharp gaze intense, yet a feverish worry for Luna burned behind his eyes.

I stood frozen, my heart having already turned to ice.

"Kate, you wouldn't actually make Shane shoot himself, would you?"

"He almost died saving you back in the day! He's been loyal all these yearsisn't that enough?"

"Luna's so gentle, never makes demands. Why can't you be more like her?"

Shane's teammates around muttered their judgments.

My ears buzzed. All I could process was "like her."

A hard lump formed in my throat.

My heart contorted painfully.

I looked down at Shane, remembering that night ten years ago when my parents were killed.

Shane, fresh off his first major operation, held me tight, repeating,

"Kate, don't be scared!"

"I'll protect you with my life!"

That night, flames had seared his left shoulder permanently.

He never once complained.

Now, I saw those flames again.

But the man who vowed to always shield me was gone.

"Kate, let me go!"

"I'll trade you thisfor your understanding."

He produced a red string bracelet intertwined with golden symbols.

My tears broke thenhot, swift, and relentless.

"Shane you'd trade this for Luna Rossi?"

With trembling hands, I snatched the bracelet.

Then I seized the gun from his hand, pressing it hard against his temple.

"Are you absolutely sure?"

Three years ago, Shane nearly died on an overseas mission.

I crawled up the steps of St. Patrick's Cathedral on bleeding knees, praying at every one.

I sanctified this protection bracelet with my own blood.

The day I tied it around his wrist, I'd said lightly,

If you ever truly screw up, trade this for one forgiveness.

I never dreamed he'd use it for Luna.

My heart clenched like a fist. Every fiber of my being screamed.

Suddenly, his teammate shouted,

"Boss! Luna's hemorrhaging badly!"

Shane shot to his feet, impatience flashing across his face.

"Kate, it's just a damn bracelet! Do you have to be so difficult?"

"Fine. Have it your way!"

A bitter smirk twisted his lips. He grabbed the gun from me, aimed at his own arm, and fired.

BANG!

The bullet tore through his right bicep.

Blood streamed down his wrist, staining the white calla lilies at our wedding altar.

"Bullet's out. Happy now, Kate?"

"Good. Wait for me. We'll finish the ceremony when I get back."

Cold detachment in his eyes, he tossed the gun aside and strode out.

The lily-filled hall emptied. I stood completely alone.

I pulled out my phone and made a call.

"Dr. Evans, it's Kate. Please schedule the procedure for me, please."

I ended the call.

For an eternity, I didn't move. Then my legs dissolved beneath me.

I crashed on the wedding platform. Shards from a broken champagne flute sliced into my palm.

White-hot pain shot through me, but my determination remained steel.

The man I'd loved for a decade was rotten, through and through.

I was finished.

Gritting my teeth, I hailed a taxi to the hospital.

In the ER waiting area, I deleted all the prenatal records from my three-days-prior confirmation appointment.

As I approached the front desk to check in, a hand clamped around my wrist.

"Boss! Lookit's Kate!"

Shane's teammate jerked me around, a mocking sneer on his face.

Shane, carrying Luna, who was deathly pale, in his arms, stormed over.

Fury was etched into his features.

"Kate, I told you I'd come back after making sure Luna was stable! Why did you have to follow me here?"

"Can't you give me even that little bit of trust?"

His voice was pure accusation, each word vibrating with suppressed rage.

"Boss, Kate's being completely ridiculous!"

"Luna's in active labor! Kate isn't even showingwhat's her emergency?"

"She's doing this intentionally, trying to upset Luna!"

With every word from his teammate, Shane's expression grew colder and harder.

"Kate, you've disappointed me."

"You know Luna struggles with depression! And she's carrying a child!"

"Is this really the time for your theatrics?"

Theatrics.The word stabbed my heart.

Perhaps I had been dramatic ten years ago.

But since then, I had swallowed every insult, endured humiliation from his circle.

When Shane came home bleeding from missions, I was the one who cleaned his wounds and changed his dressings.

I'd gone from a sheltered heiress to merely an extension of him.

My entire existence had narrowed to revolve around Shane.

What right did he have to call me selfish?

A rage so profound it felt like ice shook through me. I forced the words through my teeth,

"Shane, I'm here for an abor"

Luna chose that moment to let out a dramatic moan in his arms.

"Shane! Let me go!"

"Just let me die!"

"You think I'm just a burden anyway!"

"If I die, if the baby diesyou'll finally be free!"

She thrashed weakly, sobbing hysterically, then convincingly feigned losing consciousness.

"Move!"

"Kate, you're sickening!"

Shane shoved me aside, cradling Luna protectively as he sprinted toward the operating rooms.

My back slammed into the cold wall. A fresh, tearing agony exploded deep in my abdomen.

A warm trickled of blood ran down my inner thighs. I barely registered the physical sensation.

My mind drifted back to my 18th birthday.

Shane vanished for three months on a deep-cover assignment.

He'd returned with his throat slashed, his voice permanently damaged.

That night, he'd rasped out "Happy Birthday," each note strained and painfully off-key.

Yet it had settled in my heart like warm, golden sand.

Every birthday wish I'd made since had been solely for his safety.

How pitifully naive that seemed now.

Hands shaking, I hauled myself upright.

I pulled out my phone and posted a task on a rival security contractors' network.

Minutes later, it was accepted.

As the last of my strength ebbed, I slid back down the cold wall.

Thena stinging slap cracked across my face.

"Kate! Luna's baby is deformed! Did you do this?!"

"Boss, Kate has completely lost it!"

"Luna carried that child for nine monthsand it's deformed!"

"I knew Kate's jealousy would drive her to this. This is her twisted payback!"

"She's pure evil!"

Their venom was a chorus, and I was the lone target.

Before I could even form a response, Shane's hand clamped around my arm like a vice.

"Kate! You will apologize to Luna!"

"This is despicable!"

"How could you do this to her? To an innocent child?!"

He roared, his grip tightening until spots danced in my vision.

I struggled, my head cracking against the wall.

Warm blood trickled down my neck. I wiped it away mechanically.

Shane went pale, a flicker of panic in his eyes. His lips parted

A nurse came running.

"Emergency! Luna has a scalpel! Trying to cut the baby out!"

The momentary concern in Shane's eyes vanished, replaced by icy rage.

He began dragging me toward the operating room.

"Shane," Luna was sobbing hysterically inside the trauma bay, the blade glinting against her rounded abdomen.

"I'm an orphan. All I wanted was my own child"

"Was loving you my only sin?"

"I'll cut this... this thing out myself!"

She pressed down. A thin line of blood appeared.

Shane's eyes turned crimson.

Raw agony contorted his features.

"Luna, put the scalpel down"

"Please"

His voice cracked with a tenderness I hadn't heard directed at me in years.

"If we lose this baby we'll have another"

Another child.

The word was a kick to the gut.

Ten years ago, after I lost my parents, Shane promised he would be my only family.

Three years ago, he was the one who vowed we'd have children together.

ow, the taste in my mouth was pure, corrosive irony.

"Shane!" Luna shrieked, suddenly pressing the blade to her own throat,

"Make Kate pay! Make her cut herself too!"

"If my belly's ripped open hers should be, too!"

Shane lunged forwards.

"Luna! DON'T!"

"I'll do it!" he yelled, his voice cutting through the chaos.

A deafening silence fell.

I stared, unable to process what I was hearing.

The man who'd shielded me from every harm for a decade? The man who would fret if I burned my finger cooking?

He'd just agreed to have me mutilated.

"Shane, I can't I'm pregn"

Luna's blood-curdling scream drowned out my whisper words.

"AHHH! My stomach! It hurts!"

Shane shoved me aside with such force I staggered into the wall. He scooped Luna up, shouting orders.

"Go! To the Corps medical wing! Prep for surgery NOW!"

Mercenary Corps Medical Annex.

I was strapped to a cold operating table. A filthy rag was stuffed into my mouth.

I fought against the restraints with every shred of my strength.

"Shut her up, Kate!"

"Luna's next door! Don't you dare disturb her!"

The sock's stench made me retch.

From beyond the thin partition, I heard Shane's voice, tender and low,

"Luna, don't be scared"

"I'm right here"

The same words he'd spoken to me ten years ago.

Now, they were shards of glass shredding my soul.

Tears streamed down my temples into my hair. A medic burst in, frantic.

"Boss! HQ's under heavy assault! All surgical teams are deployed!"

"There's only one anesthesiologist left. Who gets it for the C-sections?"

"Give it to Luna!" Shane snapped without a moment's hesitation.

My world went white with the finality of it.

"Proceed!" Shane ordered the medics.

"As for Kate she needs to learn there are consequences."

My clothes were cat away. The cold sting of antiseptic washed over my skin.

A scalpel bit deep into my flesh.

"AAAAAGH!"

The pain was blinding, absolute. The gag muffled my scream into a strangled groan.

My fingernails scraped bloody furrows into the cold metal table.

Time lost all meaning. I passed out from the agony, woke to more of it, and passed out again.

From the other side of the partition, Luna's soft whimpers floated over.

"Shane it hurts so much"

"Get me out of here"

Shane murmured comfort, lifted her gently, and carried her out without a backward glance.

I lay drenched in cold sweat on the steel table, utterly broken.

I lifted a trembling hand.

It fell back to the table, useless.

One of the medics assisting finally gasped.

"My God! She was pregnant too!"

"This fetus it's fully formed!"

Shane's other teammates, still in the room, froze. Panic flashed across their faces.

"Quick! Boss can't find out about this!"

"Sew her up! Now!"

They hastily wrapped the tiny, silent form in a towel and tossed it into the medical waste bin.

I caught a single, horrifying glimpsed. My fingernails dug into my own palms.

The metallic taste of it filled my mouth before darkness swallowed me whole.

I woke up, still strapped to the same table.

Barefoot, I staggered up. Leaned on the table's edge.

I found my shredded clothes and fumbled for my phone with numb fingers.

Voices erupted from the hallway outside.

"Kate was pregnant too?!"

"Impossible!"

"Shane must NEVER know about this!"

Then, Luna's shrill, venomous voice pierced through the door.

Then, the acrid smell of gasoline hit my nostrils.

"Burn it all! We'll say it was a rival faction's attack!"

"Or Shane will kill us all!"

The distinct click of a lighter.

Flames roared to life under the door, hungry and immediate.

Cough! Cough!

I pounded on the door. The metal was already blisteringly hot.

"Just die quietly, Kate!" Luna hissed through the gap.

"Shane is MINE!"

I stumbled backward, falling to the floor. Flames began to engulf the room. Thick, black smoke choked me.

Clutching my bleeding abdomen, my consciousness started to fade

CRASH!

The window behind me shattered. A figure clad in black tactical gear stepped through the smoke and falling glass.

He touched the comms unit at his ear.

"Target acquired, Commander"

One week later. Shane returned from the front lines after securing the HQ perimete.

Exhausted and battered, he reached for his phone.

One of his teammate, himself riddled with bullets wounds, staggered into the room.

"Boss! Kate... she's back for revenge!"

"She knows she knows we operated without anesthesia"

Without anesthesia.Shane froze solid.

He raised his gun, pressing the muzzle to the man's temple.

"I said FAKE it! Stage it for Luna's benefit!"

"You actually HURT her? WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT?!"

His hand was shaking violently.

He lowered the gun and frantically dialed my number.

Another man rushed in, clutching two small, ornate wooden urns.

"Boss a courier just delivered these He said it contains Kate's ashes and your baby"