The Body Collector's Betrayal I Won't Save You Twice

I was an ordinary Death Walker from the Hollowmere Pack. By chance, I pulled both the Alpha Heir Fenris and the Beta Lord Hadeon Ravencrest from the river, and I became pregnant with the Alpha Heir's pup.

On the night of our Moon Ceremony, the Alpha Heir never showed. He took his bonding procession to Elder Thornwood's den and mated Cressida Thornwood instead.

I tried to confront him, but Hadeon Ravencrest stepped in my way.

He confessed that he was the one who'd gotten me pregnant that night. He said he was willing to bond with me and take care of me for the rest of my life.

A moon cycle after the bonding, raiders descended on my pack. All one hundred and ten households were slaughtered. Not a single soul survived.

Standing before that mountain of corpses, wolves denied their Moonfire Rite, I collapsed under the weight of my grief. I lost the pup.

Hadeon never left my side, never even changed out of his bloodstained clothes. It took a long time, but slowly, he pulled me back from the edge.

Three years later, I was carrying again. I wanted to tell Hadeon the good news right away, but on my way to find him, I overheard a conversation between him and a friend.

"Hadeon, the Alpha Heir keeps undermining you at every turn. Doesn't that eat at you? Back then, you bonded Perenna Ashvane for his sake and even claimed a pup that wasn't yours."

"I didn't do it for him. I did it for Cressida. In this territory, the firstborn pup inherits regardless of his mother's rank. If Perenna had given birth to an heir first, how would Cressida ever secure her place in the Alpha King's court?"

"We all know you're hopelessly in love with Cressida Thornwood, but did you really have to annihilate all of Hollowmere to keep them quiet? The Death Walkers have been all but wiped out since then."

"I had no choice. The wolves in Hollowmere knew too much. To eliminate any future threat, every last one of them had to die."

I had always believed that falling for the Alpha Heir was the greatest mistake of my life. I never imagined that falling for Hadeon Ravencrest would prove a far worse one.

"Just now, one of the servants from the den came by. Your attendant turned her away, but I think I heard her say Perenna is carrying..."

Hadeon's hand tightened around his cup. It nearly slipped from his grip, but he was always composed. Within a breath, his expression smoothed over.

"I won't let her carry it to term."

"That's your own flesh and blood."

"Her womb carried another wolf's seed once. I find that repulsive. Besides, she spent her whole life handling corpses. Any pup she bears could come out wrong."

Hadeon turned to the attendant standing nearby. "Tell Nyx Whithollow to mix the wolfsbane extract into the lady's meals. Be careful about it. Don't let her find out."

His friend let out a sigh. "Perenna really is pitiful..."

Hadeon went still for a moment. His gaze turned dark and unreadable as he stared into his cup. "I'll let her live out her days as my bonded mate, comfortable and provided for. Consider it compensation."

I clamped a hand over my mouth and crumpled to the ground. My wolf, who had been curled warm and quiet around the new life inside me, went absolutely still. Under the bewildered stares of the servants around me, I scrambled back to the den on my hands and knees.

In the darkness of my room, I wept alone.

So the wolf who had shared my bed that night was never Hadeon at all. And yet he had still bonded me, this tainted she-wolf, willingly, all for Cressida Thornwood.

He had even accepted a pup that had nothing to do with him.

I remembered the day the raiders slaughtered my pack. He had looked at my skirt, soaked through with blood, and wept until he could barely breathe.

He had sworn to me, voice shaking with conviction: "Perenna, I promise you, I won't let the pack die in vain. And I won't let our pup's sacrifice be for nothing."

He kept his word. Within three days, he tracked down the raiders' hideout and killed every last one of them.

For years, I had been overwhelmed with gratitude toward him. It never once crossed my mind that all of it, every single piece, had been his doing from the start.

Nyx's voice came from outside the door. "My lady, your meal is ready."

"Leave it. I'm not hungry."

The food laced with wolfsbane extract. I didn't dare touch it. My wolf pressed herself low against my ribs, guarding the tiny heartbeat beneath my own.

When the pack healer had last checked me, he told me my body was weak, my womb cold and depleted. I needed to rest and take care of myself. If I lost another pup, I would never be able to carry again.

I wanted this pup desperately. Before, it had been for Hadeon.

Now it was for the wolves who had died because of me. The ones whose bones lay unburned, denied their Moonfire Rite, their spirits wandering without the Moon Goddess's light.

I couldn't bring them back. Other than ensuring the Death Walker's legacy carried on, I didn't know what else I could do to make amends.

A long while later, heavy footsteps sounded in the courtyard.

"My lord, you're back. The lady refuses to eat."

"I'll handle it."

I wiped my tears in a rush, but my swollen, red-rimmed eyes gave me away.

Hadeon crouched in front of me and reached up to brush his thumb beneath my eyes, his voice aching with tenderness. "Crying and refusing to eat. Who's been bullying my Perenna?"

"The little one in my belly, of course."

Hadeon went still for a fraction of a second, then broke into what looked like stunned delight. "Really? I'm going to be a father?"

"Really."

My heart was a cold cellar, but for the sake of my pup, I had no choice but to play along. Somewhere beneath my ribs, my wolf lay flat and silent, offering nothing. She had not stirred since I'd heard the truth.

"Hadeon, what if... I'm just saying what if... you don't want this pup. I'll raise it on my own. I won't be a burden to you. Would that be all right?"

Something guarded flickered behind his eyes, but he forced a smile. "What are you talking about? How could I not love a pup you gave me?"

"Come on, stop overthinking. Let's eat."

I looked at the table laden with dishes and turned my head away. His scent was close, black walnut bark and iron filings and that faint sweetness underneath, and my wolf flinched from it like a burned thing.

Hadeon picked up a piece of blanched greens and set it in my bowl, his voice soft. "Just a few bites. The pup needs you to eat."

He looked so devoted. How could any of it be an act?

But I knew. All of it was a lie.

"I really can't..."

His patience snapped. "You won't eat, but the pup has to. Stop acting like a child!"

He seized my jaw, fingers digging in, and tried to force the greens into my mouth.

I wrenched free, but I understood his resolve now.

Despair closed over me like water. I blinked back tears and picked up my chopsticks. "I'll eat."

Once this meal was finished, everything would be over.

In the dead of night, the pain tore through my abdomen. Blood seeped from between my legs, spreading across the sheets in a slow, dark stain. The mating mark at my throat throbbed dully, as though it too was losing something it could not name.

Hadeon called out toward the door, and Soren Ashwick walked in at once, as though he had been waiting just outside.

The agony had blurred my vision, but I still heard Soren's careful, measured words: "My lord, the lady's previous pup loss already damaged her body. If we don't intervene now, she may never carry again."

Silence. Then Hadeon spoke. "It doesn't matter. Do as I told you. When I take a second mate someday and she bears pups, I'll give one to Perenna to raise in her old age."

"Understood, my lord."

So it was true. He thought I was filthy. He had never wanted a pup with me.

The last ember of hope inside me turned to ash. My wolf made no sound. She had gone so still I could not feel her at all, and that absence was worse than pain.

Soren was still working to save me when an attendant from the Alpha Heir's den burst through the door. "My lord, the Alpha Heir's mate has been suffering from stomach pains today. She's requesting Healer Ashwick come examine her."

Hadeon's expression changed instantly, open concern written across every line of his face. Without a moment's hesitation, he grabbed Soren by the arm and pulled him toward the door.

Rowan Birchfall, my Omega attendant, threw herself at Hadeon's legs and clung on. "My lord, if you take Healer Ashwick now, the lady will die!"

"The Alpha Heir's mate only has a stomachache. Any pack healer can see to that. But my lady is hanging by a thread..."

"Please, my lord, have mercy on her..."

"Insolent wretch! The Alpha Heir's mate is of the highest birth. Who are you, a servant, to decide her care?"

Hadeon's mind was already gone from this room. He kicked Rowan aside and tossed an order at the servants without looking back. "Brew some ginseng broth. Keep her alive."

"The moment the Alpha Heir's mate is fine, I'll bring Healer Ashwick back."

Rowan scrambled to follow, but I stopped her. "Rowan, don't. Let him go."

Her eyes were swollen and red. She looked at me, heartbroken. "My lady, wait for me. I'll go find a pack healer."

I struggled to prop myself up and pulled a box from beneath the bed. Inside lay the Death Walker's Iron Medallion, cold against my fingers, humming faintly with the old oath bound into its metal. I pressed it into Rowan's hands.

"Rowan, take this to the Alpha King's court. Give it to him and tell him Perenna Ashvane is calling in her Blood Debt. Tell him I want a Moon-Sealed Bond Severance."

Years ago, when the Alpha King himself had traveled to the Hollowmere Pack to bring the Alpha Heir and the Beta Lord back to Ironhold Territory, he'd been so grateful for my saving their lives that he promised me one request, anything I asked.

I had never dared waste that chance. Now, finally, it had a purpose.

Hadeon didn't return with Soren Ashwick until the following afternoon.

By then, the pack healer Rowan had summoned was already on his way out.

Hadeon caught the healer by the arm. "How is my mate?"

"She'll live. But I'm afraid..."

Hadeon's voice dropped low, unsteady in a way I'd rarely heard when it concerned me. "Afraid of what?"

The healer shook his head with a heavy sigh. "Her body is ruined. She'll spend the rest of her life in pain."

Something like guilt flickered across Hadeon's face. He gathered me into his arms, my body limp as a threadbare rag. "I'm sorry, Perenna. It's not that I didn't want to help you, but the Alpha Heir's mate is carrying a royal pup. I couldn't afford the delay..."

I gritted my teeth against the pain and pulled myself free of his embrace. I shook my head. "It's fine. You were up all night, my lord. Go rest."

His hands hung frozen in the air where I'd been. His voice came out scraped raw. "Are you angry with me, Perenna?"

I closed my eyes. My answer was flat, toneless. "This Omega wouldn't dare."

"Omega?"

Hadeon caught the shift instantly. He stared at me as though I'd spoken a foreign language.

Before, I had always addressed myself as "your mate" in his presence.

Now I'd changed the word. The line between us, drawn clean.

"Yes. This Omega was born lowly. Naturally, I can't be compared to the Alpha Heir's mate. So you did the right thing, my lord. This Omega wouldn't dare hold it against you."

A violent cough tore through me, and blood splattered from my lips. Hadeon saw it, and for once, he asked nothing more.

He rubbed slow circles on my back, his voice softening. "You've always been the most sensible one, Perenna. I was overthinking it. Rest now. Your mate will stay right here. I'm not going anywhere."

I didn't know how long I slept before the noise from the courtyard dragged me awake.

The moment I opened my eyes, I saw Rowan sprawled in the center of the yard, a silver-tipped switch cracking down across her body again and again.

Her clothes were soaked through with blood. Each breath she drew looked like it might be her last. The smell of burned skin rose with every strike where the silver bit into her, and something in my chest went so still it frightened me.

Cressida Thornwood sat nearby, watching with cold, disinterested eyes.

When Hadeon saw me stir, he didn't bother explaining. He simply pressed my shoulders back down. "The Alpha Heir's mate is disciplining a servant. Don't interfere, Perenna."

I had braced myself for some grave offense. But the crime, it turned out, was nothing more than this: after delivering the Bond Severance petition to the Alpha King, Rowan had taken it upon herself to summon the pack healer for me.

The Alpha King and his Luna already carried guilt over the Alpha Heir breaking his fated bond with me. When they learned what had happened, they'd rebuked Cressida harshly.

Called her vicious. Said she'd shown callous disregard for another she-wolf's life.

Cressida couldn't touch me, not with the Alpha King and his Luna shielding me. So she'd turned her fury on Rowan instead.

I watched Rowan's broken body twitch with each blow, barely clinging to life, and the tears wouldn't stop. The silver left thin lines of smoke rising from her skin. My wolf pressed itself flat inside me, whimpering low, unable to look away.

I seized Hadeon's sleeve and begged. "My lord, please save Rowan. Every fault is mine, all of it."

"She was only worried about me."

Hadeon's expression pinched with reluctance. "Perenna, she's just a servant. Let the Alpha Heir's mate vent her anger and it'll blow over."

I stared at that handsome face of his, so perfectly composed, so perfectly human, and could not fathom the rottenness it concealed.

Because we were born lowly, our lives simply didn't matter?

Mine didn't. Rowan's didn't. And neither had the hundred-some families of the Hollowmere Pack.

I couldn't hold it in any longer. The words ripped out of me, raw and bleeding. "Is that what you told yourself when you slaughtered the Hollowmere Pack, my lord? That they were just a bunch of lowborn nobodies?"

Hadeon flinched as if I'd driven a blade between his ribs. His hand shot to my throat and squeezed, his eyes splitting gold with fury.

"Perenna, what nonsense are you spouting?!"

I struggled to break free, and the wound below tore open again. Blood soaked through the bedsheets in an instant.

Hadeon panicked at the sight. He gathered me into his arms, clumsy and desperate. "Perenna, stop moving. Please."

I pried his hands off me and glared straight at him. "Hadeon, you've been lying to me for years. Was it worth it?"

"Hundreds of lives. And my two pups. Don't you lose sleep at night?"

Hadeon's hand hung frozen in midair, trembling beyond his control.

"You know about all of it?"

When I said nothing, he rushed to explain. "Perenna, I had no choice. Wolves in the Hollowmere Pack saw you with the Alpha Heir. If the pregnancy got out, it would have torn the court apart."

I let out a bitter laugh. "Was it really about the court? Or were you afraid your precious Cressida would lose her power?"

Hadeon's brow creased. Whatever guilt had been in his eyes vanished, replaced by cold displeasure. "That was all my decision. Cressida had nothing to do with it. Leave her out of this."

Even now, he was still shielding Cressida. The last thread of hope in me snapped. Somewhere beneath my ribs, my wolf went utterly still, as though the creature had simply stopped breathing.

"Then what about my pups? The first one, fine, I'll blame myself for grieving too hard to protect it. But the second?"

Hadeon saw that I had ripped away the final veil, and he stopped pretending. "Yes. I had someone take care of it."

His scent had changed. The black walnut bark and iron I had once pressed my face into were still there, but that sweet, wrong undertone had risen to the surface, thick as rot. I could taste it on the back of my tongue.

"I wasn't ready to be a father."

"Even now, you're still lying to me..."

"Perenna, stop this. Whatever I've done, I owe you. I've sworn an oath. I'll make it up to you. I'll give you a life of wealth and luxury, secure in your place as my mate for the rest of your days!"

I didn't want to hear another hollow promise. "Hadeon, I don't want any of it. I'll give up everything. Just grant me the Bond Severance and set yourself free."

"If you're worried I'll expose the massacre, you can have my life too."

"All I'm asking is that you save Rowan!"

I thought the weight of hundreds of dead pack wolves on his conscience would be enough to buy one life. I still underestimated how shameless he was.

"Perenna, stop. I can't help you this time."

"Cressida's been through a trauma. She's always been sensitive and stubborn. If Rowan doesn't die, Cressida won't be able to sleep."

And then I finally understood. In Hadeon's heart, the lives of ordinary wolves weren't worth as much as one good night's rest for Cressida Thornwood.

I shoved him away and dragged my broken body across the floor toward the courtyard. The mating mark on my neck throbbed with each movement, a dull sick pulse that no longer felt like connection but like a wound that refused to close. I collapsed at Cressida's feet, clutching the hem of her gown. "My lady, please spare Rowan. It was all my fault."

Cressida looked down at me with a satisfied smirk. The scent of crushed foxglove and honeyed amber rolled off her, so sweet it made my stomach turn.

"Your fault how?"

"I'm lowborn. I should never have troubled the Alpha King's healer."

"I should never have displeased you, my lady."

"Enough. The sight of you covered in blood is revolting."

Cressida kicked me away in disgust and turned to Hadeon. "Hadeon, I'm tired. Walk me back?"

Hadeon looked at me sprawled on the ground. He hesitated for a moment. But in the end, he chose Cressida.

I reached for Rowan beside me, her breath barely there, and called after him one last time. "My lord, could you at least send for Soren Ashwick?"

Hadeon opened his mouth to give the order, but Cressida cut him off. "No one calls for any healer. I've already spared her life. Whether she survives is her own fate."

Hadeon looked back at me, something unreadable churning behind his eyes. Then he clenched his jaw and walked away.

Everything I had held together shattered in that moment. My wolf collapsed inside me, not howling, not whimpering, just a silence so total it felt like the creature had been scraped out of my chest and there was nothing left where it had been. I screamed at his retreating back, "Hadeon Ravencrest, I want a Bond Severance!"

Cressida had just reached the doorway. She laughed out loud and nudged Hadeon playfully. "She says she wants a Bond Severance. Aren't you going to go coax her?"

Hadeon glared at me, visibly annoyed.

No need to coax her. She's just throwing a tantrum. She'd never survive outside this den.

Besides, she's carried pups twice and she's a second-bonded mate. Who else would want her but me?

He was right. Leaving the Ravencrest Den might very well be a death sentence.

But staying was a fate worse than death.

I forced myself up through the pain, set the Moon-Sealed Bond Severance papers on the table, and found a rickety old cart meant for hauling firewood. I loaded Rowan onto it and walked out of the Ravencrest Den.

This time, I was finally free.