Selling My Parasite Pets for $300K

[Why isn't this cannon fodder dead yet?! Once she dies, these three shapeshifters can finally turn completely human!]

[Almost there! The cannon fodder got a brain tumor and is going to drop dead any second. Then the three of them can go live their best lives with the rich heiress!]

Blinding neon text flashed in mid-air right in front of my eyes. I slowly turned my head toward the living room sofa.

The three parasites I drained my bank accounts to feed were rubbing themselves against Eden, my Porsche-driving best friend. Eden ran her fingers through their fur, her eyes gleaming.

"Cora, they're just too freaking cute. Sell them to me? You can literally name your price."

"Sure." I stared dead into Eden's eyes, pulling my lips back into a frigid, mechanical smile. "A hundred grand each. Wire the cash, and you can take them right now."

Chapter 1

The living room plunged into a dead silence.

Eden's face dropped, a flash of anger crossing her eyes.

The calico cat in her armsRoman, always the clingy little manipulatorfroze, stopping his aggressive rubbing against her chin.

The black snake, Dante, coiled around her neck like a scarf, slowly lifted his sleek head.

Even the sluggish hedgehog, Brooks, paused his scratching on the adjacent sofa cushion.

Multiple pairs of eyes snapped directly to me.

The floating barrage of text in front of my face exploded like a bomb had just been dropped into a lake:

[??? What did I just hear? A hundred grand each? How does this dead-meat cannon fodder have the nerve?!]

[Holy shit! The evil cannon fodder is showing her true colors. Wasn't she just playing the devoted pet mom two seconds ago?]

[Is she broke and desperate? Treating our baby Eden like a walking ATM?]

[I called it! She only adopted them to kiss Eden's ass. What a manipulative bitch!]

Eden was the first to snap out of it. She shifted her gaze between me and the pets clinging to her. "Cora, are you insane?" she shot back.

"I'm your best friend, and you're talking to me about money right now? Aren't they your absolute babies? How could you even think about selling them to me?"

I kept the effortless smile plastered on my face. I ignored the floating text comments trying to rip me to shreds. "I love them, sure, but reality bites." I let out a heavy, perfectly crafted sigh.

"Eden, you know I just lost my job and can barely afford basic health insurance. Keeping these three vampires fed with their special diets and paying those insane vet bills is literally draining my credit cards dry. Honestly, I'm tapped out." I met Eden's gaze, keeping my eyes wide and sincere.

"Plus, let's be real. They probably like you way more anyway! Look at them."

"The towering cat tree, the imported feeder mice, Brooks's luxury terrariumyou bought all of that. Instead of starving with me, going home with you means they'd actually get to live the high life!"

Eden opened her mouth, but I cut her off smoothly. "I'm hitting rock bottom right now. If you really love them and want to do me a massive favor, a hundred grand apiece."

"Take your pick. Think of it as bailing me out of a crisis. Deal?"

Eden clamped her mouth shut.

The neon text flared up into another bloodbath:

[Bullshit! She talks a good game, but this is straight-up emotional blackmail!]

[Don't fall for it, baby Eden! She's totally exploiting your kindness!]

[Bailing her out? Lmao, a terminal illness can't be cured with money anyway. Toxic waste of space!]

[Bite her, guys! A black-hearted bitch like her doesn't deserve to be your master!]

Eden rolled her eyes and gave a shrug. "Fine, I'll take one for now. Consider it charity."

I would have loved nothing more than for her to pack all three into her Porsche and speed off. Since they were nothing but a bunch of bloodsucking bastards, I was going to pack them all up and sell them. I wouldn't leave a single cent for them! But moving too fast would raise too many red flags.

A drastic 180-degree personality shift always triggered suspicion. I needed to play the long game.

"Perfect. You're a lifesaver. Take your pick. Whichever one catches your eye, it's yours."

Eden squatted down, still clutching the calico cat. She practically inspected the black snake and the hedgehog as they gravitated toward her.

Dante seemed to sense the shift in the room. The black snake tilted his sleek head toward Eden. His forked tongue flicked out, tasting the air.

Brooks shifted his tiny paws. The hedgehog's beady little eyes locked onto her face.

Right at that moment.

The calico cat in her arms made his move. He let out a sweet meow, rubbing his head against Eden's chin. He hooked his claws into her cashmere sweater, staking his claim.

Chapter 2

At the same time.

Roman casually kicked his hind legs out. The angle was perfectly calculated. He planted a solid kick right onto the heads of Dante and Brooks as they tried to close the distance. The impact sent both the snake and the hedgehog tumbling backward.

[Hahahaha! Nice one, Roman! That's how you fight for favor!]

[All hail the Cat Emperor! We knew you loved our Eden the most!]

[Poor Dante and Brooks, but honestly, I'm Team Cat.]

Eden's attention locked onto the furball in her arms. Girls already had zero resistance to fluffy, manipulative cats. Especially one as photogenic and calculating as Roman.

I watched Roman's dedicated performance. A bone-deep chill settled in my chest. I just found it hilarious.

When I first found him on the street He was nothing but skin and bones, absolutely filthy.

He trailed behind me to my apartment door, begging for a single bite of food and pulling out all the stops to win me over. Rubbing his pathetic body against my legs. Rolling around right next to my hands.

Purring so loud his throat vibrated constantly. My heart softened. Even though I already had Dante and Brooks at home I figured feeding three wasn't that much harder than feeding two.

So I brought him inside. And the result?

The second he got comfortable

He reverted right back to his arrogant, untouchable persona. If I tried to pet him He would dodge me, looking annoyed. Half the time, he'd slash me with his claws, drawing blood.

If I bought him toys He'd ignore them completely. Every single day, his routine was just eating and sprawling out on the windowsill to sunbathe.

It was only when Eden showed up that he'd magically transform back into that clingy, obedient little angel. Begging her for expensive imported wet food.

It turned out, ever since that day His loyalty was already bought and paid for.

No. Maybe he never had any loyalty to begin with. Every single thing he did was for a clear purpose. Just like those neon text comments kept screaming

They were just "using me to finish their transformation." They were just tolerating me. Counting down the days until I, the "cannon fodder," permanently exited the stage.

Eden gently squeezed Roman's tiny paw. Her face was lit up with pure adoration.

"He's just too clingy Okay, I'll take Roman. He clearly wants to come with me anyway."

She pulled out her phone and tapped the screen a few times. My phone immediately chimed with a notification:

[DingMobile Banking Alert: 0-000,000 has been successfully wired to your account.]

"Cora, the money's sent." She scooped the calico cat up and zipped him into the custom Chanel pet carrier she'd brought. "So I'm going to take him home now. Don't worry, I'll take amazing care of him."

"Yeah, I bet you will." I nodded, keeping my tone perfectly flat. "If you ever decide he needs a playmate, you know where to find me. After all, I've still got these two left."

I pointed directly at the black snake and the hedgehog still stranded on the floor. Eden paused, but forced a bright smile and said, "Sure." Then she turned and strutted out the door, her new prized possession securely in hand.

The living room was empty except for me and the two remaining pets. I turned around and locked onto two pairs of eyes. Dante had reared up, lifting the top half of his body off the floor. Those cold, slitted eyes were locked dead onto me.

His forked tongue was flicking rapidly. A clear sign of high stress in snakes. And the usually sluggish hedgehog Had lost his relaxed, lazy demeanor.

His tiny paws were dug deep into the rug. Every single quill on his back was fully erect. They genuinely couldn't process it. How the pathetic "servant" who had always tiptoed around them and catered to their every whim

Could suddenly turn so brutally cold.

The neon text, meanwhile, thrived on the drama:

[Hahaha! The leftovers are totally stunned!]

[Dumped. Sucks to be you, but it's your own fault you can't suck up like Roman!]

Chapter 3

[But hasn't anyone noticed how weird this is? The cannon fodder has always bent over backward for these three. Why did she agree to sell the second baby Eden asked?]

[Isn't she just desperate for cash? Look at those massive pet influencers online. They can love their pets and still treat them like cash cows. It's not a contradiction.]

"Game over, you little liars." I stepped forward, planning to toss Dante back first.

But the second I reached out, a black blur struck.

I yanked my hand back instinctively, but his fangs still grazed my skin, leaving a stinging scratch.

I narrowed my eyes, a dull throb pulsing at my temples. Normally, if he bit me, I would act like those devoted pet owners.

I'd patiently tell him over and over again. "You can't bite like that. That's a bad snake."

But right now? I clenched my jaw, my patience gone. Annoyed. Deeply, deeply annoyed.

I had zero energy left to play this sick game of feeding them with my own flesh and blood.

I snatched the black snake by the throat, held him in the air, and slammed him into his expensive terrarium.

Slam.

I slammed the lid shut and snapped the heavy metal latch into place. He crashed onto a climbing branch, the entire snake visibly stunned and disoriented.

[Wait, wait, wait! How the hell can she manhandle our Dante like that? Watch your back, cannon fodder, or I'll bite you to death myself!]

[This is too weird. The cannon fodder suddenly lost all her obsession with her pets. Did she get possessed or something?]

[Whatever. She needs to hurry up, get a terminal illness, and die already. Then the three shapeshifters can successfully turn completely human, and live out their wild, happily-ever-after with baby Eden.]

[Hehehe, a four-way relationship Just thinking about it is getting me heated.]

The hedgehog on the rug was paralyzed. Seeing me reach for him, he curled into a tight ball. Every single sharp quill stood straight up. Normally, I'd be helpless against that defense.

But now? I grabbed a thick fleece blanket from the couch and threw it right over him. Gripping him firmly through the heavy fabric, I flipped him belly-up and unceremoniously dumped him back into his customized hedgehog villa. I locked the lid tight.

The world was finally quiet.

The floating text sped up. Curses and death threats filled the air. But I couldn't care less. I just pulled out my phone and booked a full-body scan at an exclusive private medical center in the city.

I had plenty of cash sitting in my account. Three days later, the results came back. I sat across the polished mahogany desk in an oncologist's office. He looked me dead in the eye and delivered the verdict.

"Miss Cora, your MRI results are devastating. You have a fatal tumor growing in your brain. If we don't intervene immediately, it will destroy your nervous system."

He paused, a trace of professional relief in his voice. "Luckily, we caught it just in time. If you had waited even a week longer, you'd be looking at an irreversible situation."

"Right now, your only chance of survival is to schedule immediate brain surgery. But since you don't have top-tier medical insurance, the surgery, plus post-op intensive care, will cost at least three hundred thousand dollars."

At least three hundred grand. The cold, hard reality of the American healthcare system. Maybe sensing my heavy silence, the doctor opened his mouth, likely preparing some hollow, humanitarian words of encouragement. I just gave him a thin, detached smile and calmly started interrogating him about the specific surgical logistics and post-op protocols.

When I got back from the hospital, I stood in the middle of my dead-quiet apartment. I pulled out my phone and hit FaceTime to call Eden. She picked up almost instantly. The screen filled with the background of Eden's massive, sun-drenched penthouse living room.

"Cora!" she chirped, immediately flipping the camera. The lens zeroed in on the sleek, perfectly groomed calico cat curled luxuriously in her arms.

"Look at Roman! He's literally an angel. He follows me everywhere, like a total stage-five clinger. He even sits outside the bathroom door waiting for me."

Chapter 4

On the screen, Roman rubbed his head against Eden's cheek. A heavy, vibrating purr rattled in his throat. His tail swayed in lazy, arrogant arcs, radiating bliss. He ignored my face on the phone screen, focusing entirely on licking Eden's hand.

[Ahhhh, our cat male lead is so happy! THIS is the life he actually deserves!]

[Look at this massive penthouse! Look at that custom cat tree! A million times better than the cannon fodder's trashy apartment!]

[If the cannon fodder hadn't backed off, our Cat Emperor would still be choking down cheap kibble, barely getting one measly can of wet food a day!]

[Is the cannon fodder dying soon? Then our cat, snake, and little hedgehog can finally complete their transformation and turn human, right? I am dying to skip to the good part of the plot!]

Eden leaned into the camera, a smirk on her face. "Cora, I seriously cannot thank you enough for letting me have him. He's practically human!"

"We're totally bonded. He sleeps right next to my pillow, and whenever I'm stressed, he comes right over to comfort me. Ugh! Best decision ever!"

I pinned a flawless, practiced smile to my face. "Seeing him so obsessed with you really puts my mind at ease."

Eden trailed a nail under Roman's chin, feigning a sudden thought. She bit her lip, playing the hesitant friend.

"Cora, actually Roman seems a little lonely here. Your other two, Dante and Brooks? They're super cute too."

"What if I took another one off your hands? Same price as before. What do you think?"

That was the exact sentence I had been waiting for.

But I still needed to perform the required emotional theatrics. I let a heavy, dramatic silence hang between us before finally nodding.

"Yeah you're probably right. Roman needs a playmate. If you really want one, go ahead and pick."

"Given my current medical situation, I physically can't take care of them the way they deserve anyway." I flipped the camera around, aiming the lens dead center at the black snake and the hedgehog locked inside their enclosures. "Take your pick."

They must have understood exactly what Eden and I were saying.

Dante dropped his usual act. He reared his head up, slithering up the glass to the top of the terrarium. Swallowing his pride, he wrapped the very tip of his tail around my wrist, trying to pull himself closer to the camera lens just to catch Eden's eye.

Brooks shed his lethargic attitude. Pulling out all the stops, he stretched his little body out flat, pressing his tiny, twitching nose right up against the glass towards the camera. His beady black eyes went wide and glossy.

He even used his front paws to dig up a hidden pecan, sliding it directly in front of the lens. It was like he was physically offering up his most prized possession to her.

The floating neon text sped up:

[Ahhhh! Dante is fighting for her love!]

[Our snake baby is trying so hard, I'm literally sobbing!]

[Brooks is a genius! Bribing baby Eden with a nut!]

[I can't choose! Why doesn't our baby Eden just take them both?]

"Oh my god, Brooks is so freaking cute! Dante is gorgeous too but" Eden bit her lip, her eyes darting greedily between the two screens.

Brooks seemingly caught the hesitation. He dialed his performance up to an eleven, letting out a series of high-pitched little squeaks to beg for her favor.

Dante, however, froze. He just flicked his forked tongue, his pride apparently preventing him from begging any further.

[Go Brooks, go! Secure your mommy Eden!]

[Dante, come on! You were doing so well a second ago!]

[That was already Dante's absolute limit. Our cold, arrogant male lead just can't lower his pride anymore.]

Finally, Eden made her grand decision. "Cora, I think I have to go with Brooks. He just looks like he needs me so badly!"

I stared blankly at the screen for a second. Once upon a time, Brooks had desperately needed me, too. I had dug him out of a thorny bush near the edge of my apartment complex. Back then, he was nothing but a frail, bloody little lump.

A group of neighborhood brats had been literally kicking him back and forth across the concrete like a spiked soccer ball.

Chapter 5

I couldn't handle watching it. I sprinted over, screaming at the kids to back off. I carefully scooped his dying, mangled body into the palms of my hands and practically flew to the emergency vet.

After a few days in the intensive care incubator, I was allowed to bring him home. I bought the smallest, thinnest syringes I could find. Drop by drop, I hand-fed him formula and antibiotics.

I set alarms on my phone, waking up every two hours on the dot to check his breathing and temperature. For weeks, I barely slept three hours a night.

But that nightwhen Brooks finally uncurled, stretched his little legs out flat across my palm, and fell into a deep, safe sleep I thought my heart was going to melt into a puddle. Every single sleepless night felt worth it. He was my first pet. I genuinely viewed him as family.

And how did he repay that? I painstakingly researched and prepared gourmet platters of fresh fruit and premium nuts, but he barely touched them. He'd only perk up when Eden brought over her imported, freeze-dried mealworms.

There was one night I spiked a massive fever. My entire body was convulsing with chills. I just wanted to gently rub his soft, warm belly for a tiny bit of comfort.

He curled into a tight ball, his sharp quills piercing deep into my palm. Just thinking about it made the phantom pain throb in my hand.

I gave Eden a bright, easy smile. "Done. Brooks is yours. You can pick him up whenever."

"Yes! Amazing! I'm going to order him the biggest luxury terrarium right now."

"Oh my god, I've been eyeing this panoramic, climate-controlled mansion enclosure. It's going to be perfect for Brooks"

She didn't even blink as she placed the order right on screen. Dropping over a hundred grand in less than a second.

"Oh, right! Almost forgot to wire the money!"

[DingMobile Banking Alert: 0-000,000 has been successfully wired to your account.]

Eden looked thrilled on the screen. But then, as if realizing she needed to play the sympathetic friend, her face fell into a look of feigned concern. "Cora, taking Brooks I mean, he was your very first pet. You're you're not upset, right?"

I pulled my lips into a thin, practiced smile. "Of course not. He'll be infinitely happier with you."

[Ugh, the cannon fodder is so fake. She's just thrilled she got paid.]

[Why is she even pretending to care about sisterhood?]

[Whatever, whatever. Let's just congratulate our baby hedgehog on finally escaping that hellhole!]

The call disconnected. I dropped my phone onto the coffee table. Less than an hour later, Eden's personal driver knocked on my door and hauled Brooks out of my apartment.

The living room fell into a dead silence once again. I sank onto the couch. A heavy wave of exhaustion hit me.

I slowly turned my head toward Dante's enclosure. The jet-black snake was still reared up, hovering against the glass. But the vigilance in those slitted eyes had deepened.

He tracked my every movement, analyzing me