After the Mafia Boss Abandoned Me, I Decided to Forget Him Forever

Your memory loss is getting worse, Selah. The doctor said if you dont get the surgery soon, it could kill you. Grandpas voice cracked on the phone, Tell me the truth. Is that man really worth your life?

I sat quietly by the window, staring at the invitation in my hands while the dizziness got worse again.

Ill do the surgery, Grandpa, I whispered.

Grandpa went silent for a second, probably shocked because Id spent months refusing it.

Then he asked softly, The doctor said if we do it in time, theres still a chance youll keep your memories of Gideon. Are you sure about this?

I lowered my eyes to the blood suddenly dripping from my nose and staining the invitation red.

How long before I forget everything?

Around a month, Grandpa answered carefully. Maybe less if your condition gets worse.

A month.

That was enough.

Schedule the surgery for next month."

After the call ended, I pressed trembling fingers against my nose, but the blood kept falling anyway, spreading across the paper in my lap.

The grooms name on the invitation was Gideon Salerno; Boss of the Red Bullets Mafia. CEO of Salerno Empire Holdings. My fianc.

But the brides name wasnt mine.

It was Judith Williams.

And under her name, written in elegant silver letters, was a line that nearly destroyed me.

If only you were the bride.

I stared at the words until my vision blurred.

Funny, isnt it?

I was the woman wearing his ring, sleeping in his bed, carrying his family name everywhere I went, and somehow I still felt like the outsider in his life.

The blood on the paper looked like flowers blooming over Judiths name.

My chest hurt so badly I could barely breathe.

Then the memories from earlier finally came crashing back into my head.

Tonight was supposed to be my engagement party with Gideon. Instead, it became my humiliation. The entire mafia circle watched me get abandoned like trash.

I looked down at my finger where the skin was still split open from gripping a broken wine glass too hard earlier. It stung, but honestly, it was nothing compared to what Gideon did to me.

I gave that man everything.

Everything.

And still wasnt enough.

Grandpas question echoed in my mind again.

Was he worth it?

Maybe years ago, I wouldve answered yes without hesitation... Back when we were kids...

Back before loving Gideon Salerno started feeling like slowly dying.

I was nine when I first fell for him. Id been practicing riding my bicycle outside the estate gates when a pack of wild dogs suddenly started chasing me. I panicked and crashed hard onto the road. I still remember crying while those dogs barked around me.

Then Gideon appeared.

He was just a boy back then, but he grabbed a metal pipe and stood in front of me without even thinking. He fought the dogs off by himself and carried me home while I cried into his shirt.

From that day on, I loved him.

And maybe that was my biggest mistake.

Because Gideon never loved me the same way.

During university, he fell in love with Judith Williams, a woman working at one of Salerno Empires luxury hotels. He fought his family for her and nearly tore the entire Salerno household apart over that woman.

If the Salerno family hadnt fallen into crisis years later, Gideon would never have agreed to marry me.

The marriage alliance saved their empire.

My family helped rebuild their power, their money, their connections. And stupidly, I thought that meant I finally had a chance.

For four years, I stayed by his side and acted like the perfect fiance while helping him stabilize the Red Bullets from the shadows. I watched him build Salerno Empire Holdings back into something untouchable. Sometimes hed look at me gently. Sometimes hed come home early. Sometimes hed hold me at night like he actually needed me. So I started hoping.

God, I was pathetic!

Then tonight happened.

Right in the middle of our engagement banquet, Gideon got a phone call from Judith. I still remember the look on his face when he heard her voice.

Panic.

Where are you? he snapped into the phone while everyone stared. Judith, answer me! Where the hell are you? I'm coming.

I grabbed his arm before he could leave. Gideon the guests are still here.

He pulled away from me so fast like my touch disgusted him. Judiths in trouble, Selah.

"And what about me?

Ill come back."

Then he left me there alone in front of everyone.

The future wife of the Salerno boss abandoned at her own engagement party while the entire room whispered behind her back.

I stayed anyway. I smiled. I greeted relatives and mafia associates and business partners while feeling like my body was rotting from the inside out. And when it was finally over, I went back to the penthouse alone.

That was when I found the invitation hidden inside Gideons private cabinet.

The invitation he never meant for me to see.

So it was true. Gideon never loved me. Maybe he never even tried to. And no matter how much I bled for him, sacrificed for him, waited for him like some pathetic wife chained to his shadow, I would never replace Judith.

My phone suddenly lit up with an Instagram notification. I stared at it for a second before tapping it open without thinking.

The second the post loaded, it felt like someone slammed a hammer straight into my skull. My vision tilted. I almost lost my balance.

The photo showed a private fine dining room glowing under golden lights. Judith sat across from Gideon smiling while he cut her steak for her with those cold, dangerous hands that usually terrified grown men.

He was still wearing the black engagement suit from our banquet earlier tonight. The same suit he wore while abandoning me.

Behind them stood armed Red Bullets guards near the doors, silent and watchful like always. Even dinner dates for the mafia king of the city looked like war meetings. And yet Gideon looked relaxed with her. Almost gentle.

The caption underneath nearly made me sick.

Just one call and youll come find me no matter where you are. My favorite restaurant, my favorite person. Feels too good being loved like this.

I stared at the screen quietly.

No screaming. No crying. No hysterical phone call asking Gideon why he kept humiliating me.

Maybe I was too tired now, or maybe the tumor in my head was already eating away the part of me that loved him.

My fingers calmly opened the airline app instead. I booked a flight for one month later.

One month.

That was all I needed before I disappeared from Gideons life forever.

Another wave of dizziness hit me hard and I grabbed the edge of the table to steady myself. My memories felt strange again, blurry around the edges.

I forgot what Gideons laugh sounded like for a second. Then I forgot the exact way he used to hold my hand.

The panic shouldve terrified me but instead, it felt relieving.

Was this what dying slowly felt like or was this freedom?

I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath.

I decided then. Id endure one more month. Id let myself completely forget Gideon Salerno before the surgery erased him for good.

I didnt want to wake up from that operating table still loving a man who treated me like I was disposable.

One month later was supposed to be our wedding.

Funny. For Gideon, it was probably just another business alliance between powerful mafia families. For me, it would become the funeral for everything I ever felt for him.

My phone wouldnt stop ringing after that.

Mom. Dad. Uncles. Aunts. Even old family friends from the syndicate kept calling after hearing about the scandal at the engagement banquet.

I answered every call calmly.

Im okay.

Dont worry about me.

Its not a big deal.

My voice sounded so steady that they all became even more nervous. Nobody dared push further.

Everyone probably thought I was heartbroken beyond repair after being abandoned publicly by the future boss of the Red Bullets Mafia.

But the truth was worse.

I was forgetting him little by little. And the tumor pressing against my nerves was slowly taking my love and hatred for Gideon with it.

The penthouse became silent again after the calls ended. I took out a notebook and started writing while I could still remember things.

Moms favorite flowers. Dads birthday. The names of my childhood friends. The restaurants Grandpa liked.

Page after page filled with memories I didnt want to lose.. But I never wrote Gideons name. Not even once.

Then I hung a homemade thirty day calendar on the wall beside our wedding photo.

Every day Id tear off one page.

Every day Id love Gideon a little less.

And when the last page disappeared...

So would he.

Another sharp wave of pain exploded through my skull. The picture frame beside the calendar suddenly fell and shattered across the floor.

I dropped to my knees with a gasp, pressing my hand against my pounding head while broken glass sliced into my finger. Blood dripped onto the photo, onto my smiling face.

In that picture, I looked so happy staring at Gideon like he was my whole world.

Gideon looked the same as always.

Cold. Untouchable. Like a king standing beside a woman he never wanted.

Back then, I told myself that was just his personality. Gideon Salerno wasnt warm with anyone. He was raised in blood and violence and power. Men like him didnt know how to love softly.

So I endured everything during our four years together.

His indifference. His disappearances. The coldness. The endless nights waiting alone while he handled mafia business for the Red Bullets or built Salerno Empire Holdings into a corporate monster nobody could challenge. I thought patience would eventually make him love me.

But tonight destroyed that fantasy completely.

Because when Judith called him earlier, I saw it clearly.

The panic in his eyes. The fear. The desperation.

Gideon was capable of loving someone deeply.

That someone just wasnt me.

....

The penthouse lights suddenly turned on. I looked toward the door and saw Gideon finally coming home. His black dress shirt sleeves were rolled up and tattoos disappeared beneath the fabric. A gun rested visibly at his waist like always.

He walked in carrying a takeout bag from the restaurant Judith loved.

Our eyes met but there wasnt a single trace of guilt on his face, not even regret.

He placed the bag on the table casually.

Eat something, he said flatly. You barely touched food tonight.

Maybe Gideon just assumed Id forgive him no matter what he did. Maybe he thought bringing me food was already generous enough.

I slowly opened the bag. Inside was a half eaten steak. Judiths favorite order.

I could even see lipstick marks on the wine glass packed beside it. Something twisted painfully in my chest. So this was what Id become to him? A woman eating another womans leftovers while waiting alone at home like some obedient dog?

Gideon loosened his cufflinks and glanced at the broken glass on the floor.

Youre bleeding, he said coldly.

I looked down at my hand. Oh, I whispered quietly. I didnt notice.

And strangely enough... I really hadnt.

Gideon frowned the second he saw the shattered picture frame on the floor.

His sharp eyes moved to me kneeling beside the broken glass, then to the countdown calendar hanging on the wall.

Youre the future heir of the Laureen family, he said coldly while loosening the black gloves on his hands. You should learn how to control your emotions better than this. Throwing a tantrum over our photos is childish. Then he glanced at the calendar again and clicked his tongue softly.

Its just a wedding, Selah. Not some life changing event. His voice turned colder. You know I hate unnecessary formalities.

He thought I made the calendar because I was excited to marry him.

If only he knew.

Every page hanging there was counting down to my disappearance. To the day Id finally forget him completely. I lowered my head and quietly hummed in agreement.

I know.

That was all I said before continuing to clean the broken glass from the floor. Gideon stood there silently for a while.

I could feel his eyes on me.

Normally I wouldve asked him where he went. Why did he abandon me? Why did he look happier with Judith than hed ever looked with me? But I am too tired now.

Too numb.

And maybe because my memories were already disappearing, even my heartbreak didnt feel as sharp anymore. That seemed to unsettle him more than anger wouldve.

I noticed the slight tension in his jaw. The way his fingers flexed beside him.

For the first time in years, Gideon looked like he couldnt read me anymore.

And somehow that made him uneasy.

After a long silence, his expression softened slightly.

Maybe he remembered everything Id done for him over the years. The blood I cleaned for him. The sleepless nights waiting for him after mafia meetings. The way I stood beside him while he built Salerno Empire Holdings into an empire feared by everyone.

Without another word, he grabbed the first aid kit from the cabinet and crouched in front of me.

Hold still, he muttered.

His fingers wrapped around my hand carefully while bandaging the cut on my finger.

Next time, be more careful. Dont act impulsively just because youre upset. It's pathetic.

I stared at him blankly.

Funny.

The same man who could order executions without blinking was being gentle with my injured hand.

For a second, my chest hurt again.

I almost whispered thank you. But before I could speak, Gideons phone suddenly lit up.

The moment he saw the screen, his expression changed instantly. He stood up immediately and answered the call while walking toward the bathroom.

I didnt mean to listen.

The penthouse was just too quiet.

And Gideons tenderness toward Judith cut through the silence like a knife slowly carving me open.

How did you fall again? his voice was full of concern. Didnt I tell you not to walk around alone?

Stay there. Dont move. I could almost picture the look on his face. Im coming right now.

I lowered my eyes slowly.

When I got hurt, Gideon called me emotional and immature. When Judith stumbled somewhere, he treated her like something fragile that needed protection immediately.

The bathroom door opened moments later. Gideon was already putting his gun holster back on beneath his coat, preparing to leave.

I need to handle some company business, he said flatly. Ill be out for a while.

Company business.

Right.

The mafia boss of the Red Bullets was apparently very busy at midnight comforting another woman.

He walked toward the door without even looking back at me. Like staying here another second would waste his time.

Gideon.

I called his name softly.

He stopped immediately, but when he turned around, his face was full of impatience.

Fucking what now? he snapped.

The look in his eyes hurt more than I expected.

My chest tightened painfully, but I still forced myself to point at the table quietly.

Your keys.

Gideon froze.

For the first time that night, embarrassment flickered across his face. He grabbed the car keys from the table and looked away first.

Dont think too much, he said stiffly. Since I agreed to marry you, I wont go back on my word.

Then he left.

The penthouse door slammed shut behind him.

I sat there quietly for a long time after that, finishing the bandage around my own hand while replaying the disgust in his eyes over and over again.

So that was how worthless I looked to him now. Strangely enough, the thought didnt destroy me like before.

Maybe because every time Gideon hurt me, another piece of my love disappeared with it.

Maybe soon, thered be nothing left at all.

I slowly stood up and picked the photo out of the broken frame then I threw it into the trash.

After that, I started throwing everything else away too; Couple mugs. Matching slippers. His spare ties beside my dresses. Photos. Gifts.

Every trace of Gideon inside the bridal suite disappeared one by one.

If I was going to forget him anyway, then I didnt need reminders haunting me everywhere I looked.

Two more pages disappeared from the calendar.

But Gideon still didnt come home.

And honestly...

I felt relieved.

My memories kept fading little by little.

Some things were already becoming blurry.

The pain from the engagement banquet. The sound of Gideons voice. The way he used to look at me sometimes when he was tired.

Only one memory stayed painfully clear.

Being nine years old and terrified while wild dogs chased my bicycle down the road.

Gideon running toward me without hesitation.

Funny how the cruelest people always start as someone who once saved you.

...

I spent the next few days quietly cleaning the penthouse alone. Folding clothes. Washing blood stains from the carpet. Throwing away old memories.

And waiting.

Just waiting for the month to end.

I didnt want anything from Gideon anymore.

I just wanted to leave this city quietly before my memories disappeared completely...

Gideon wasnt always this cold to me.

Back then, even if he didnt smile much, there was still warmth hidden somewhere in his eyes when he looked at me.

When I got badly sick at fifteen and burned with fever for days, Gideon stayed beside my bed the whole time. I still remember waking up in the middle of the night and seeing him sitting there in black clothes with a gun tucked behind his back because hed just come from Red Bullets business.

He touched my forehead and muttered quietly, Hurry up and get better already. You promised wed go watch the sunrise together.

Another time, some boys from another mafia family cornered me outside school because they hated the Laureen family. Gideon showed up and smashed a bottle against the wall beside one of their heads.

Touch her again, he said coldly, and Ill bury every single one of you.

Nobody dared come near me after that.

When I turned eighteen, he took me to the rooftop of Salerno Empire Holdings after midnight. The city lights looked beautiful from up there. He sat beside me quietly smoking while I leaned against his shoulder.

Youll stay beside me forever, right? I asked him back then like an idiot.

He flicked ash from his cigarette and rubbed my head once. Yeah.

Just one word. But I believed him anyway.

We went to the same university after that. Spent almost every day together. Everyone thought wed eventually get married.

Honestly, I thought so too. Id already imagined becoming Gideon Salernos wife long before he ever asked.

Then Judith appeared.

Everything changed after that.

On Valentines Day during university, I went to the mens dorm carrying homemade dessert like some stupid girl in love planning a confession.

Before I could even knock, I saw Gideon making out with Judith against the wall.

I froze right there.

And for the first time in my life, I saw Gideon look at someone with real love in his eyes.

That was the moment I understood something.

I could spend my whole life beside him and still never become the woman he truly wanted.

After that, I disappeared from his life completely. I left the country, stopped calling, stopped asking about him and stopped hoping.

Then four years ago, the Salerno family started collapsing from internal betrayal and mafia pressure. Their enemies were circling like wolves waiting to tear them apart. That was when our families forced the marriage alliance.

I came back home and saw Gideon again after years apart.

The first thing he said to me still plays in my head sometimes.

Judith and I were never going to work out, Selah, he said calmly while pouring himself whiskey in his office. But Ill try to treat you well if we get married.

And somehow I still accepted it.

God.

Was I really that desperate for him?

I helped the Salerno family clean up their messes after that. I handled business deals, family connections, political pressure, even negotiations between mafia factions for Gideon. I stood beside him while he rebuilt the Red Bullets into something terrifying again.

And little by little, I convinced myself he was changing.

Until that phone call at the engagement banquet destroyed every fantasy I had left.

The strange thing was, the more memories I lost because of the tumor, the less it hurt.

Some parts of Gideon were already becoming blurry in my head.

And honestly... I welcomed it.

The cancer pain was horrible. Some nights it felt like something was drilling into my skull while my whole body shook from nausea.

But forgetting Gideon?

That part almost felt merciful.

I started writing in my diary every single day after that.

Moms laugh. Dad teaching me how to shoot. Grandpa yelling during chess games. The names of people I loved.

I wrote and wrote because I was terrified Id wake up after surgery and not remember any of them.

There wasnt enough time. There were too many memories slipping away too fast.

...

I was writing quietly at the dining table one night when suddenly an arm wrapped around my shoulder from behind.

I flinched so hard I shoved the person away immediately. The notebook almost fell from my hands.

When I looked up and saw Gideon standing there, his expression darkened slightly in surprise. I slowly closed my notebook and looked at him calmly. Gideon stared at me strangely like my reaction bothered him. I saw something flicker across his face. His eyes dropped to the notebook in my hands.

I already told you before, he said while taking off his coat, I hate unnecessary formalities. A wedding is just a ceremony. You dont need to write me love letters or prepare dramatic surprises and wedding vows. It will only disgust the shit out of me.

I almost laughed.

If he knew the real surprise waiting for him on our wedding day, I wondered if hed still sound so calm.

I smiled faintly instead. Okay.

That seemed to relax him.

Then he placed another takeout box on the table and pushed it toward me.

Eat while its warm, he said.

I opened the container slowly.

Steak. Again.

Probably leftovers from another dinner with Judith.

I looked up at Gideon quietly. He loosened his tie and leaned back against the counter confidently.

That was always our relationship. He hurt me then gave me scraps of kindness afterward expecting me to forgive him immediately.

I stared at the steak for a long moment before finally speaking.

I cant eat this.

Gideon frowned slightly. Why?

Im allergic to beef.

His body visibly stiffened.

What?

I looked at him quietly. Ive always been allergic to cows meat since kid.

For the first time in years, Gideon actually looked shaken.

A flash of panic crossed his cold face.

I... He stopped talking for a second. I didnt know.

Of course he didnt. How could he? Men who truly loved someone remembered things like that.

I shook my head gently.

Its okay.

Because strangely enough... I really meant it now.

Gideon looked away first.

Maybe out of guilt, he suddenly started cleaning up the food containers himself before speaking again in a lower voice.

Come with me tomorrow, he said. We need to discuss the wedding details with the families.

In the past, hearing that wouldve made me secretly happy for days. Now my heart felt completely still.

I wanted to refuse. I needed time to keep writing before my memories disappeared again. I didnt want to waste energy pretending to be a happy bride anymore. But Gideon kept staring at me silently, waiting for an answer. In the end, I closed my notebook slowly and nodded.

Okay.

The Salerno estate felt heavier the moment I stepped inside.

Gideons parents welcomed me warmly, acting as if nothing had happened. As if their son hadnt stood me up and humiliated me in front of the entire mafia circle at the engagement banquet.

His mother held my hands too tightly when she greeted me.

Selah, youre too thin, she said, pushing food closer. You need to eat more.

His father sighed between sips of tea.

That boy has been impossible lately. We already reprimanded him. What he did was unacceptable.

I gave a small polite nod and ate a few bites even though I had no appetite. Across the table, Gideon sat relaxed in his chair, expression cold and unreadable.

They began discussing the bride price and wedding arrangements, voices controlled but tense underneath.

Then Gideons phone rang. The moment he looked at the screen, everything about him changed.

He stood up immediately.

Ive got urgent matters. Handle the wedding yourselves.

His fathers tone sharpened. Gideon, sit down! Were discussing your marriage.

Gideon didnt even look at him.

I said Im fucking busy.

Then he walked out. The door closed behind him and the room fell into an awkward silence.

All eyes slowly turned to me, waiting for a reaction I didnt have. I lifted my teacup and took a slow sip. Was I supposed to feel something stronger?

I set it down carefully. His figure leaving already felt distant, like it didnt fully belong in my memory anymore. Maybe I really wont feel pain over him much longer.

That thought didnt cut the way it used to.

It just floated there.

Gideon didnt come back for five days. Every day, another page of my calendar was torn away.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Like time was quietly erasing me along with my memories. I stayed mostly in my room during that time, writing in my diary whenever I could.

Was this what dying felt like? Slow forgetting?

Without Gideon around, the house actually felt easier to breathe in. No tension in my chest. No waiting for footsteps that never made me feel safe anyway.

The Salerno family was furious with him though. I heard shouting through phone calls and servants whispering in the halls.

Their empire heir acting like this, ignoring responsibilities, ignoring me, but I didnt care anymore.

Twenty three days left until surgery.

Time felt too slow and too fast at the same time. My headaches got worse, sharp enough that I had to start taking painkillers just to function. Sometimes Id sit there holding my head and wonder quietly.

How much of me will still be here after this?

The only clear memory of Gideon left in my head now was him saving me when I was younger.

Nothing else stayed sharp anymore.

Then one afternoon, Mr. Salerno called me personally.

Selah, Im sorry about my son, he said. Hes been difficult lately.

I already understood what this really meant. They were scared. Scared the Laureen family might pull support from the Salerno Empire if this marriage fell apart. It was always politics underneath everything. Still, I knew his parents were kind people. They treated me well when I was younger. So I didnt blame them.

Im okay, I told him gently.

After the call ended, I just sat there for a while. I wasnt angry anymore. Not even sad. Just tired. Even Gideons father couldnt seem to find him lately. But I already knew where he was. Judith made sure everyone knew.

Her social media posts never stopped.

Mountaintop sunrise photos. Beach sunsets. Amusement park rides where she and Gideon sat close together. Her hand in his. Cliffside pictures where they kissed like nothing else existed.

Each post felt deliberate. Like she wanted me to see it. In the past, it wouldve destroyed me. I probably wouldve cried until I couldnt breathe. Now I just stared at it for a few seconds and closed the app.

Childish.

That was the only word that came to mind.

Is this really what I used to fight over?

A man who could look at someone else like that while I waited at home?

I didnt even feel jealous anymore.

Just detached. Like he wasnt mine to lose in the first place.

...

Days kept passing.

My diary was almost full. My hand cramped from writing too much. Outside the window, sunlight spilled into the room and warmed my face.

It felt strange.

There were only 18 pages left on the calendar.

18 days until everything ends.

I thought I should go out and see the city before the surgery.

Since coming back, my life had been nothing but Gideon, Salerno Empire, Red Bullets meetings, expectations, silence.

I didnt even know what I liked anymore.

Apart from Grandpa, no one knew about my surgery.

I didnt want my parents to worry. I stood in front of the mirror and barely recognized myself. I quickly fixed my hair, grabbed my coat, and headed out. Maybe I just needed air. Maybe I just needed to feel like I was still alive.

But the moment I stepped outside the building, I bumped into someone solid.

I looked up.

Gideon.

He pushed past me slightly like I was in the way and walked inside.

I thought you were so forgiving, he said, not even looking back. Didnt expect you to complain to my parents.

He walked straight into the living room and dropped onto the sofa. His face was tight with anger. I stayed standing near the doorway.

He stared at me like he was waiting for me to apologize.

Judiths been struggling lately, he said. She has brain cancer. As for the wedding, its still happening.

Okay.

Gideon froze. He actually looked stunned.

Like he expected tears. Arguments. Something he could control.

His eyes narrowed slightly. You should come with me to a party tonight, he said after a moment. Since youre going to be my wife, you should meet my people.

No need, I said softly.

What do you fucking actually want? he snapped, standing up. Dont act like this just because Ive been busy. Ive given you a chance already!

A chance.

I looked at him quietly. He really thought everything between us was just about chances. About him deciding when I was worth noticing.

Im not your possession, Selah. I have my own life too.

That part almost made me smile. He stormed toward the door before I could respond.

I gave you an opening, he said over his shoulder. Dont come back begging later.

The door slammed shut behind him. And just like that, the house went silent again.

I rubbed my temples and walked over to the calendar and tore off another page. The paper made a soft sound in the silence. Two weeks left. That was all.

...

Gideon and I spent the next few days moving through the city separately, finally visiting places we had once talked about over the past four years but never actually gone to. Mountains, old streets, small restaurants hidden between busy roads. It shouldve felt meaningful, but it didnt. It felt more like two strangers completing unfinished tasks before parting ways.

Today, after everything, I ended up at a riverside restaurant. The sunlight outside was warm, the water calm, and for the first time in a while, I actually felt a little lighter. I didnt expect him to be there.

But Gideon was already inside, sitting across from Judith. Long curled hair, soft face, eyes always a little too confident. Gideon leaned forward slightly, focused only on her. His hands were peeling shrimp carefully for her. No hesitation, no coldness. He fed her gently, like she was something fragile he was afraid to lose. Judith smiled at him, eyes soft and satisfied, and Gideon looked at her the same way.

I stopped walking for a second, then moved to a seat far away near the window. I didnt say anything, didnt interrupt. I had already told myself I wouldnt fight anymore.

Around us, the restaurant slowly noticed them. Whispers spread, heads turned, phones lifted. Gideon Salerno didnt usually appear in public like this, not without guards, not without control over every angle. But tonight he looked almost ordinary. Judith leaned closer as people started clapping and cheering, someone shouting for them to kiss.

Judith didnt hesitate. She turned toward him, eyes glossy, lips parted like she had been waiting. Gideon paused for only a second, then gave in and kissed her. The whole place erupted in applause and cheers, like they were watching the ending of a perfect love story, the kind people root for without thinking about anyone else in the room.

I stayed by the window, quiet and still, hands resting on the table without movement. Was I supposed to feel betrayed? Or stupid? Nothing came clearly, only a faint tiredness. Maybe I really was just in the way of something that already belonged to them.

Judith noticed me first. Even from across the room, I saw the curve of her lips, that quiet satisfaction she didnt bother hiding. A moment later Gideon pulled back from the kiss, breath uneven, still caught in the attention of the room, and his eyes followed hers. Then he saw me.

Everything shifted instantly. His expression tightened, warmth gone. He stood up and walked straight toward me. Before I could react, something heavy hit my face. Beef. Hot, greasy. The smell filled my senses at once. I blinked slowly, more stunned than hurt.

Youre fuckinv stalking me now? Gideons voice cut through the silence.

The restaurant went still. I wiped my face with my sleeve, oil smearing across my skin, warm and disgusting.

His jaw tightened when I didnt react the way he expected. For a brief second something flickered in his eyes, then disappeared.

That was just a misunderstanding. Dont make a scene, he said colder now. Judith is here too. Go apologize to her.

I looked past him. Judith sat perfectly still, watching with a calm, satisfied expression.

So thats the sick woman he was so worried about. Only a fool like Gideon would believe all of this.

I pushed my chair back and stood. Im leaving, I said quietly and turned toward the exit.

Stop.

I didnt.

His hand grabbed me and shoved me hard. I lost balance at once and hit the stairs. My head struck the edge with a brutal crack. Pain exploded through my skull as warmth spilled down instantly. My vision blurred, everything tilting.

Sounds around me warped, footsteps, voices, gasps, all distant like I was underwater. Through the haze I saw Gideon standing there, cold, unmoved. Then he turned away, pulling Judith closer like nothing had happened.

Youre the one who caused this, his voice cut through faintly. Dont expect forgiveness unless you apologize to Judith! Pathetic.

The words barely reached me. My ears rang. My head split open with pain then darkness.

When I woke up, there was a man sitting beside my bed.

Youre awake, he said, leaning forward and carefully adjusting the pillow behind my head. Im Mordecai Moretti. You came in covered in blood, I thought we were going to lose you.

I forced myself to sit up a little, my body heavy and slow, and I thanked him quietly while telling him I could cover the medical fees. He immediately waved it off, saying he was a doctor and saving people was normal for him, then he asked if he should call my family.

That question made my chest tighten for a second, but I shook my head and refused. I couldnt let my parents see me like this and worry even more when everything tied back to the Laureen family and Salerno Empire was already breaking them apart.

There was no point adding more weight to them, not now, not when I barely had time left anyway.

Mordecai didnt push after that. He just nodded like he understood there were things I wasnt ready to say, and in the days that followed he kept coming back quietly, sometimes bringing medicine, sometimes just checking on me without asking too many questions. He never made me feel small or like I was a burden, and that alone felt strange because I couldnt remember the last time someone treated me like I was just a person and not part of some mafia arrangement or debt.

During those ten days in the hospital, my phone kept lighting up with messages I didnt fully want to open. My parents checked on me gently, Gideons name appeared more than once, and Judiths messages were always there in between.

Photos of them together. Smiles at dinners. Private moments meant to be seen.

At first I thought it would still hurt, but it didnt. I would just look at the screen for a second, then turn it off. Even Gideons name started to feel distant, like it belonged to someone I used to know in a life that wasnt mine anymore. The pain I used to carry for him had already started fading, and I wasnt sure when that happened.

...

When I was discharged, the sunlight outside felt strangely warm against my skin. My steps felt lighter too, like something heavy inside me had finally started to loosen, and I remember wondering if this was what it felt like to stop waiting for someone who was never going to turn around anyway.

I went back to the Salerno estate afterward.

The bridal chamber was quiet, too quiet, and I went straight to the study to get my diary because I needed to keep writing down whatever memories I still had left before they disappeared completely. I was still reaching for it when I saw her.

Judith.

She was already inside, sitting comfortably in my space holding my diary in her hands and flipping through it without hurry. Her expression changed the moment she saw me, turning into something sharp and amused at the same time.

So this is what youve been hiding, she said softly. All these little notes about your sad life. Aww, poor girl.

My fingers tightened instantly.

Thats mine!" My voice came out sharper than I expected.

She tilted her head, amused. Everything in this house is connected to Gideon, she replied. Including you. Dont you get tired of pretending you matter?

I took a step forward. Give it back.

She sighed dramatically and flipped another page. I wonder what you wrote about me, she said. Or about him. Did you cry while writing it? Did it hurt when you realized you were never really his choice?

Give it back!"

She smiled wider, then footsteps came from outside the door. Judith noticed it immediately. And in one quick motion, she slammed her head against the edge of the desk, hard.

She dropped to the floor right after, screaming.

Dont touch me! Gideon, help! Selah is hurting me! Gideon!"

My eyes widened. What? Before I could even move, the door slammed open and Gideon walked in.

His presence filled the room instantly, heavy and controlled, and his eyes moved first to Judith on the floor, then to the torn diary pages scattered everywhere, and finally to me standing there.

And that was all it took.

His expression hardened.

He didnt ask anything.

He didnt hesitate.

He grabbed a stool nearby and brought it down on me without warning.

Pain exploded through my body as I dropped to the floor, my breath breaking instantly, and above me his voice came cold and furious, already decided.

You never stop fucking causing problems, Selah! Now youre even hurting her.

I stared at the torn diary in my hands and couldnt think at all.

My mind felt completely empty.

I had already been avoiding Gideon as much as I could, staying quiet, staying out of his way, trying not to exist in front of him anymore, so why did he still keep hurting me?

Why wasnt it enough for him to ignore me?

Pain burned across my back where the stool had hit me, but I still held onto the damaged notebook tightly. My fingers shook while I gathered the ripped pages because there were already too many things I couldnt remember anymore.

If these pages disappeared too, then those memories would disappear with them.

Gideon stood over me with bloodshot eyes, fury written all over his face.

Selah, he said through clenched teeth, youve really disgusted me this time. I never thought youd become this vicious.

His voice got harsher with every word.

Judiths already struggling because of the wedding and now youre trying to hurt her too? Do you actually want to drive her to death?

I slowly raised my head and looked at him.

For a second, Gideon froze after meeting my eyes. Something flickered across his face, almost uncertain, almost uneasy, but it disappeared quickly.

Anyone with common sense could tell Judith hurt herself on purpose.

Anyone could see it.

But Gideon never looked at Judith with reason.

To him, she was always innocent.

Always fragile.

Blood slowly soaked through my clothes and stained the floor beneath me.

You fucking clearly did something wrong, he said. Judith wouldnt accuse you for no reason. Im already letting this go because of everything youve done for me and the Salerno family.

He crouched slightly in front of me, his tone colder now.

So stop making trouble and apologize to her! Do that, and well end this here.

I just stared at him quietly.

Apologize?

After he nearly broke my back for another woman?

After everything?

Even if I forgot the past, my body still remembered pain.

I said nothing.

Gideons expression darkened immediately. He probably thought he had already compromised enough and that I should obediently accept it, the way I always used to.

But I couldnt.

Not anymore.

A mocking laugh escaped him.

Fine, he snapped. If youre still acting stubborn, then maybe this marriage should end here.

He grabbed Judith protectively and pulled her closer before heading toward the door.

Then he stopped for one last second and looked back at me with cold disappointment.

Dont come crying and begging later, Selah. I gave you enough chances already, and all youve done is disappoint me.

The door slammed shut so hard the walls trembled.

The sound echoed inside my head until dizziness rushed over me again.

I looked around blankly, trying to steady my breathing. Something happened just now.

I knew it did. But my thoughts felt foggy, slippery, hard to hold onto.

There was a man.

Someone I used to care about maybe.

But his face already felt blurry in my mind.

If my back wasnt hurting so badly, I wouldve thought none of it was real.

I stayed on the floor for a long time, slowly picking up the torn diary pages one by one. My hands were trembling while I tried to tape everything back together because I couldnt rewrite those memories anymore.

Some of them were already gone forever.

I didnt even know how much time passed before I finally finished fixing the notebook enough to close it again.

When I looked up, my reflection in the mirror startled me.

My face was pale. I looked less like a person and more like something abandoned.

The strength left my body all at once and I collapsed onto the floor again.

Cold wind drifted in through the open window, moving softly through the silent living room until another page from the calendar loosened and fell.

Three days left.

...

When I woke up again later, the entire house was dark and silent. For a moment, panic wrapped around my throat because I couldnt remember where I was or why everything felt so unfamiliar.

It took me a while to calm my breathing.

Then I reached for the notebook beside me.

Right.

The surgery.

Three days.

That was the important thing.

I spent the next few days staying inside the room and reading through my diary over and over, trying to memorize every name and every memory connected to the people I loved.

Mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, and friends.

I repeated them quietly to myself because I was terrified Id wake up one day and forget all of them completely.

One night, my phone lit up with a notification.

I opened it slowly.

It was from someone named Judith.

There was a picture attached.

A man was asleep beside her in bed, shirtless, his neck covered with dark marks and lipstick stains.

Under the photo, she sent another message.

We went a little crazy last night. Arent you jealous? If you know whats good for you, leave Gideon already. He belongs to me.

I stared at the screen for a long moment.

Gideon.

That name again.

For some reason, seeing his face stirred faint images in my head, broken flashes that disappeared before I could grab onto them.

I frowned and opened my diary again, flipping through the pages carefully. There was barely anything about him there.

So he probably wasnt important anymore.

Maybe he used to be.

But not now. Not enough to remember.

I turned my phone off and placed it aside before lying back down on the bed. My eyes drifted toward the calendar on the wall.

Three more days That was all I needed to remember. As for Gideon and Judith

They didnt matter anymore.

My parents called me early in the morning.

The signal kept cutting because of the storm where they were staying overseas, but I could still hear the worry in my mothers voice.

Selah, the weathers terrible here, she said. Your father and I might not make it back in time for the wedding.

Wedding.

That word made me pause.

I tightened my grip on the phone and tried to remember.

Whose wedding?

For some reason, my mind stayed blank.

I only remembered my parents because of the diary beside my bed. Without it, even their voices sometimes felt distant and unfamiliar, and that terrified me more than the surgery itself.

My father sighed heavily on the other end. We already prepared your gift and everything. We didnt expect this storm.

I forced myself to smile even though they couldnt see me.

Its okay, I said softly. Dont worry about me. Just stay safe and come home when the weather clears.

I hung up slowly after comforting them for a while, then stared at the phone in confusion.

Wedding.

Why couldnt I remember something that important?

Not long after, another call came.

This time it was Gideons parents.

Their voices sounded warm and careful, asking if I was ready for the wedding rehearsal because everything at the church had already been prepared.

Again, my thoughts went blank.

I didnt even know how to answer them.

So I just hummed quietly and ended the call as politely as I could.

Afterward, I sat alone in the villa trying hard to remember if I had forgotten something important, but the house around me didnt feel like a brides home at all. There were no wedding decorations, no flowers, no dresses laid out waiting for the ceremony. Nothing. The place felt empty.

Maybe everyone remembered wrong. Or maybe I was never supposed to get married at all.

How could someone in my condition even think about marriage when I was preparing for brain surgery?

That thought settled the confusion a little.

So I stayed home quietly for the next few days.

Sometimes the headaches became unbearable and I had to take painkillers while lying in bed waiting for the dizziness to pass. Sometimes I would sit beside the calendar for hours, staring at the final pages and counting down silently.

Then finally, the last day arrived.

I woke up early that morning and opened the window. Fresh air rushed into the room and for once my chest didnt feel so heavy.

The calendar had reached the end.

I started packing my luggage slowly because I knew Id be leaving for a very long time after the surgery. Maybe months. Maybe longer.

As I packed, I removed everything that belonged to me from the villa like books, clothes, photos and the lttle things scattered around the house.

By the time I finished, the entire place looked cold and untouched, almost as if I had never lived there at all.

I picked up my suitcase and was about to leave when the front door suddenly opened.

A man and a woman walked in together.

I frowned immediately.

The man was tall, dressed in black, carrying himself with the kind of cold arrogance that made the entire room feel smaller around him. The woman beside him clung to his arm comfortably.

Both of them walked into the villa as if they owned it.

Something about the man irritated me instantly.

I didnt know him well, but my body reacted before my thoughts could catch up.

The man stopped in front of me and looked down at me with a sharp expression, the kind powerful men wore when they were used to controlling everyone around them.

Todays our wedding day, he said coldly. Im giving you one final chance. Apologize to Judith properly and maybe Ill still show up.

I stared at him in confusion. Was he insane? Who talks about marriage like its charity? And why would I apologize to a stranger standing in my own house?

I looked at him more carefully then.

Cold eyes. Arrogant posture. The kind of man who expected obedience without question. How did I ever end up connected to someone like this?

Just looking at him made me uncomfortable.

The woman beside him tightened her grip around his arm and looked at me smugly, clearly enjoying the situation.

The man kept watching me, probably waiting for me to cry or beg but I couldnt understand why I would ever lower myself for someone like him.

When I stayed silent, his expression darkened immediately.

Selah, he said sharply, youve disappointed me again. Let me make this clear. If you refuse to apologize to Judith, then dont expect me to attend the wedding. Your Laureen family will become a joke in front of the entire mafia circle.

Then he turned slightly.

Judith, lets go.

But even while walking away, he moved slowly, almost deliberately waiting for me to stop him.

As if he was completely certain I would run after him eventually. Something about that confidence almost made me laugh.

After a moment, he stopped again and looked back at me, his tone softening slightly though it still carried that same cold superiority.

I never said I wouldnt marry you, he said. Judith just cant let go of me. Thats why she became depressed. Everything Ive done was for your sake too.

His voice lowered further.

So stop causing problems and try to understand my intentions. The wedding is about to start. My condition hasnt changed. No apology means I wont appear.

He spoke as if he was already being generous.

As if I should feel grateful he was willing to marry me at all.

And somehow, I knew without understanding why this man truly believed I loved him enough to endure anything? He probably thought I would still choose him every single time.

The strange thing was I felt nothing when hearing those words. Only confusion over why I would ever tolerate someone this arrogant.

The man finally left with Judith, still carrying himself with absolute confidence that I would eventually surrender.

I watched the door close behind them and shook my head slowly. What kind of terrible luck would make someone fall for a man like that?

I almost felt sorry for the version of myself who once did.

Then I picked up my luggage again, walked over to the calendar, and tore off the final page.

Done.

I looked around the villa one last time, at the place holding memories that no longer felt real to me, then turned away without hesitation.

Far away, church bells began ringing.

Some weddings were probably starting.

At the same time, I boarded the plane leaving this city behind.

And as the aircraft rose into the sky, so did the last traces of the life I used to have.