The Promise Expired, and I Turned and Left

1: 1

At my wedding, I ran a mystery-gift auction. Guests drew a box by sucking on a lemon and downing a drink.

My best friend looked up at me on the stage in my wedding dress, her eyes brimming red. You're getting married today. Let me catch a little of your luck.

Her first draw was a Blue Tears necklace, and she gasped.

"Yvonne Henson, how did you know I've wanted this necklace for so long?"

Her second draw was a limited-edition gown, her third a projector.

Every one of them was sitting in her shopping cart.

I went blank for a second, standing there dazed. These were not the mystery boxes I had prepared.

I looked over at my husband, Gerard Vance. His eyes were fixed on Eileen Cobb, soft with an obvious, doting tenderness.

Eileen hugged the gifts to her chest and squealed that she was going to kiss my cheek, and Gerard stopped her. "Yvonne's my wife today. Keep your hands to yourself."

She smiled slyly and turned to him. "Fine, if I can't kiss her, surely I can kiss you."

Before anyone could react, Eileen planted a loud kiss on his cheek, leaving a bright red mark.

Gerard pushed her away like he found it distasteful, his tone sharp, but I knew he didn't mind. He'd allowed it.

So it turned out I had never been the lead of this wedding.

Eileen pulled back and straightened up, the lipstick on her mouth faded now. "Yvonne, I'll kiss you after the ceremony's done. Kissing his face gave me goosebumps. So gross."

She elbowed Gerard, sniping at him. "Honestly, looks like his, if it weren't for Yvonne, nobody would ever want him."

My hand tightened a little around the bouquet. "If it's so disgusting, why kiss him at all? No one was stopping you."

Eileen froze, her mouth opening, but nothing came out.

She looked like she hadn't expected me to ask. Just like before, when I'd quietly endured every line they crossed and never tore through that thin sheet of paper between us.

Gerard frowned, his voice hardening. "Yvonne, why are you being so harsh with her?"

I looked straight at him and said it slowly, one word at a time. "Am I not allowed to feel anything? My husband and my best friend kiss at my own wedding, and I'm supposed to play the fool and pretend nothing happened?"

My voice carried through the microphone across the whole hall, and the guests below started murmuring. "Is this wedding even happening or not?"

Everyone was waiting to watch me humiliate myself. Only my mother, gripping her hands tight, asked,

"Yvonne, do you want to go on? Or come down and rest for a bit. We're still in the mystery-box part. We haven't reached the vows."

I nodded. My mother wanted to tell me that if something was gnawing at me, as long as I ended the wedding before the vows, there was still time.

Everything here I had spent months arranging with care, down to how the flowers sat in one particular spot, where the lights should fall.

End it? I didn't want to.

I drew a deep breath and took the microphone. "The auction continues."

Then I gathered my skirt and walked step by step toward the back, not sparing a glance for the two of them behind me.

Gerard sensed something was wrong and came after me in long strides. "Yvonne, what are you throwing a tantrum for? The vows are about to start."

Eileen trailed behind, her mouth twisting to one side. "Yvonne, I pushed back my flight abroad just for you, just to make it to your wedding."

Gerard's attention snapped to her at once, his voice climbing a few notches without him noticing. "You're leaving the country? Why didn't you tell me?"

It almost made me laugh. Gerard hadn't even realized it himself.

The news that Eileen was going abroad rattled him more than me stalling my own wedding.

I brushed past Eileen and headed for the dressing room.

Then she suddenly tipped to one side, and something slid out of her pocket and dropped to the floor.

I glanced down, and all the blood in me turned cold.

It was a marriage certificate, lying open, and the photo on it showed the two people I knew best in the world.

One was my husband-to-be. The other was the friend I'd had for over a decade.

I bent down slowly and picked it up. It felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.

"You two are married?"

I could hear my own voice trembling faintly, and the silence in the air almost choked me. "Say something. Is it true?"

Eileen's eyes went red in an instant. She shook her head hard, but didn't say a word.

I gave a bitter little laugh. "You won't even bother to make up a lie for me?"

Gerard showed no panic at being exposed. If anything, he looked relieved. "Yvonne, since you already know, I won't hide it. Eileen and I really are married."

"Whether the wedding goes on is entirely up to you."

2: 2

I closed my eyes slowly and raised a hand toward the door. "Get out. Both of you."

Eileen burst into tears at once and made to throw her arms around me. "Yvonne, don't do this. If you want to let it out, then hit me."

I didn't answer. I just shoved them both out in one push, and the door slammed shut.

I leaned against it, breathing hard, and made a call. "Come over here."

Then I had someone bring a spare tuxedo to the dressing room and hang it up. It wasn't Gerard's size.

The makeup artist wheeled her kit back in to fix my face, and the photographer lifted his camera to shoot the wedding footage.

It was all exactly the scene I'd pictured. Happy and busy.

Nothing had changed, and yet everything had.

Into the quiet came the small, broken sound of talking from the next room.

Once I could make it out, I knew it was Eileen and Gerard.

Eileen sniffled softly. "It's all my fault for carrying the marriage certificate on me today. Otherwise Yvonne would never have found out."

"You didn't do it on purpose. If it weren't for that baby, none of this would be happening."

Eileen's crying grew louder. "So you blame me too, don't you. Let's go get divorced today. I already booked the abortion for this afternoon. It should never have existed in the first place."

I couldn't make out a single word after that. A ringing filled my ears, like a thin film had come down between me and the world, and every sound outside was stopped on the other side of it.

The other two exchanged glances. The makeup artist's hand hovered with the brush, neither up nor down, not sure whether she should go on.

The photographer coughed lightly. "Miss Henson, we'll step out for now. We'll come back in a bit."

I only offered a pale explanation. "There's no need to feel awkward. He isn't the groom today."

No one believed it. They only thought I was clinging to what was left of my pride.

The room fell silent again. I covered my face and cried quietly, and my hand drifted without thinking to my lower belly. There had been a baby here once too.

The night my stomach hurt so much, I slumped in a chair and called Gerard. "Come home, please. My stomach hurts so bad."

He answered, distracted. "Eileen took in a stray cat. I'll get it settled and come right back."

Half an hour later, his call still hadn't come. I forced myself up and drove to the hospital.

On the way I only felt the wetness below, something running out of me. I only learned later that it was my unformed child.

The baby was lost before three months. Ever since, the thing has stayed lodged in my heart like a needle driven in deep.

I looked up at the mirror. The bride who should have been radiant now had her makeup cried into ruin, the skin around her eyes smudged into a dark blur.

I wiped the tears off my face and, with shaking hands, tried to fix my makeup.

But the harder I wanted to get something done, the worse my hands shook.

How on earth had it all come to this.

Back then, when Gerard brought up Eileen, he only thought of her as a spoiled child, his voice full of pity.

"Yvonne, keep your distance from her. That princess act of hers wears everyone around her to death."

But later, in the things he said, the disgust and distaste of the beginning gave way, until a few lines of genuine praise slipped in.

"Yvonne, you really ought to learn from Eileen. She turns down what she doesn't like without a second thought."

Later still, the two of them grew even closer to each other than to me, and Gerard worked Eileen into everything he said.

"Eileen loves roast chicken. Make a little extra, Yvonne."

"Eileen's light is broken. I'm going over to fix it. Don't wait up for dinner."

Even when Eileen and I talked, she kept steering the topic back to Gerard.

If we saw a nice watch while we were out shopping, she'd tell me to buy it and have Gerard try it on. It would look great on him, she was sure.

Now and then she'd say a line or two. "Yvonne, you found yourself a good man. When will I ever meet one like that."

At first it only made me happy. The two of them, once like fire and water, could finally sit at the same table and eat a meal in peace.

Only now do I see how wrong it was.