After Three Thousand Sunsets

The eighth year of loving him in secret.

At our class reunion, during a game of truth or dare, Aaron Stephens stood up and confessed, in front of everyone, to the first love he'd once wanted and never gotten.

He didn't spare a single thought for how I'd feel. He linked arms with Regina Fox and drank with her, then kissed her through a sheet of paper.

Someone finally noticed me, forgotten in the corner of the private room.

Grinning, they teased Aaron.

"Back in school Lois Sullivan was crazy about you. She works under you now. You really don't want to give her a chance?"

Aaron shot me a guilty glance and said, with forced calm, "Lois and I are just ordinary friends."

The stone that had been sitting on my chest crashed down.

There was still a message in my chat window, sent by my mother a minute earlier.

"Lois, even if you don't want the marriage alliance, you should at least come home and meet him. Don't let a match this good slip away."

I didn't hesitate. I typed out a line, fast.

"Mom, I agree to the alliance. I'll be home next week."

Just then the bottle spun and pointed at me.

Everyone jeered. "Lois, your turn! Truth challenge, tell us the one thing you most want to show off right now!"

I smiled, stood up, and said, each word clear.

"I'm getting married soon."

The words landed and the whole room gasped. Only Aaron glared at me with a warning in his eyes.

I knew what he was afraid of. He didn't want me making our relationship public.

Behind my back, my classmates all called me his lapdog.

It wasn't until we graduated college that Aaron finally accepted me.

But he set his terms.

We could date, as long as no one on the outside knew.

Back then I was so happy I agreed without a second thought.

To stay by his side, I gave up the future my parents had arranged for me, turned down a generous offer, and took an ordinary staff job at his company.

I knew Aaron didn't love me all that much.

But I still bent over backwards to please him, going along with everything.

I thought sincerity would eventually warm him up.

But after eight years together...

To him, I would always be the backup he had to keep in the dark.

I didn't answer my classmates' questions. I made an excuse and went to the restroom.

Coming out, Aaron dragged me into a storage room.

The fury in his eyes was about to spill over.

"Lois, have you lost your mind? I already told you, my career's still on the rise. I'm not planning to get married!"

My voice stayed level. "I never said I was marrying you."

He sighed and took my hand, going through the motions.

"I know you're angry, but there's really nothing between me and Regina. It was just a game."

My gaze dropped to his bare ring finger.

For today's reunion, Aaron had taken off the matching couple's rings we'd worn for five years.

Noticing where I was looking, he explained on his own.

"I was afraid people would figure out our relationship... We work at the same company, after all. If word got out, it'd affect us both."

I'd heard scripts like this more times than I could count.

Right now all I felt was exhaustion.

I pulled my hand free of his and said flatly, "I'm tired. I'm heading back first. You all keep playing."

I'd taken barely two steps when Aaron came after me.

His voice softened a little.

"Lo, don't worry. Give me two more years, and I'll marry you."

But it never once occurred to him that in two years, I'd be thirty.

Eight years of push and pull had drained every last bit of hope I had.

Where Aaron was concerned, my heart was completely dead.

Back at the apartment, I started packing.

Six years of living together, and the things that were actually mine came to pitifully little.

I had just slipped the couple's ring off my finger when Aaron came home.

He glanced at the suitcase I'd already packed and said, offhand,

"All packed? We'll move to a hotel tomorrow."

Confused, I asked, "Why?"

Aaron wore the look of a man stating the obvious.

"Regina just got back to the country. She's not used to hotels, and this place is in a good location. Let her stay here for now."

It came back to me then. At dinner tonight, Regina had in fact mentioned she wanted to crash at a friend's place for a few days.

I hadn't expected Aaron to agree to it outright.

Once, I would have wallowed in the hurt, gnawing at myself over it.

But right now, nothing in me stirred.

I gave a slight tug at the corner of my mouth. "No need to wait for tomorrow. I'll go to the hotel tonight."

Seeing me so easygoing about it put him at ease, and at the same time stirred a rare flicker of guilt.

"Lo, I'm sorry to put you through this. Text me once you've booked the hotel. I'll get Regina settled and come find you."

I didn't answer. I wheeled my suitcase out and left on my own.

I didn't send Aaron the hotel address.

He didn't reach out to me either.

It wasn't until early the next morning that I got his text.

"Regina was scared on her own, so I made do on the couch for the night. Don't go imagining things."

I didn't reply. I dropped my phone into my bag.

The truth was, I'd slept just fine last night.

The moment I got to the office, a few of the younger women crowded around me.

"Lois, we hear they're deciding the design director today. Congratulations early. That job's yours and no one else's!"

I was about to tell them I'd already submitted my resignation when Aaron walked in with Regina.

"This is Regina Fox. She's just back from studying abroad, and as of today she's the company's new design director."

The words had barely landed before the room erupted.

"Someone with no work experience at all, how is she supposed to handle director?"

"By seniority and by ability, we all think Lois is the better fit for the position."

Aaron slammed his hand down on the desk, his voice cold.

"Anyone who wants to question my decision can go to HR right now and collect their final paycheck!"

The room went dead silent.

Aaron walked over to me, his tone leaving no room for argument.

"Lois, you've got plenty of experience. For the time being, I want you assisting Director Fox properly."

I agreed to it calmly.

One more week of grinding it out and I'd be gone anyway.

After a full day of Regina picking at my work and ordering me around, I finally made it to the end of the day.

I walked out of the building, worn out, just as Aaron's car pulled out of the garage.

As it passed me, I saw Regina clearly in the passenger seat.

Nearby, coworkers were whispering.

"Mr. Stephens and the new Director Fox aren't just colleagues, are they."

"Obviously not. He's driving her around himself. This is heading straight for going public!"

For eight years, Aaron had deliberately kept his distance from me in public.

To keep coworkers from getting suspicious, he wouldn't let me ride in his car even in wind or rain.

But now, he came and went from the company with Regina, playing favorites without the slightest concealment, letting the gossip spread as it pleased.

So it wasn't that he worried a public relationship would hurt his future after all.

He refused to go public only because the girlfriend was me.

I didn't take the subway.

I just walked slowly along the street.

When I got hungry, I stopped at a curbside stand and ordered a small bowl of wontons.

For the eight years I lived with Aaron in Harbor City, I had tried so hard.

Tried at work, tried at living, tried to get closer to him.

The night wind brushed past. I couldn't call it sadness. There was only a hollow kind of calm left in me.

By the time I got back to the hotel and finished my shower, it was already past midnight.

My phone rang.

It was Aaron.

His voice was heavy with fatigue.

"Regina wasn't feeling well today. She only just fell asleep after all the fuss. Send me the hotel location and I'll come to you."

My tone was flat. "It's fine. Just stay at the apartment."

There were a few seconds of silence on the line, then Aaron spoke, impatient.

"You're angry? Lois, in a couple of years we're getting married. After the wedding you'll be a stay-at-home wife anyway, so it's perfectly reasonable to give the director post to Regina."

But he knew exactly how many nights I'd burned through over these years, how much I'd poured into it, to get where I was today.

In his eyes, the chance I'd fought for with everything I had should just be handed to Regina, no trouble at all.

Since he didn't care about me, I no longer wanted him either.

I gave a cold laugh. "I'm not angry. But if Regina wakes up in a bit and doesn't see you, won't she panic?"

Aaron couldn't see my face. He seemed to think it over seriously, then made his decision at once.

"You've got a point. I won't come over, then."

After I hung up, I suddenly thought of myself last month, running a high fever and still up all night rushing a design proposal.

Aaron hadn't shown a shred of concern. He'd rushed me and blamed me instead.

"You couldn't get sick before, couldn't get sick later, it had to be right now. Are you doing this on purpose?"

"This project matters a lot to the company. Pull yourself together."

Eight years together, and Aaron never once remembered my birthday.

Yet every year he'd wait right up to midnight to be the first to send Regina his birthday wishes.

Loved or not loved, it was plain to see.

I was the one who'd been blind all this time.

Never turning back until I hit the wall.

Two days later, the company hosted the client's boss for dinner.

At the table, Aaron used Regina's poor health as an excuse and took drink after drink in her place.

And I, sitting across from them, became everyone's target for toast after toast.

Aaron knew my stomach was bad, that I couldn't handle alcohol, and he didn't care.

His eyes were only on the contract about to be closed. He ignored my discomfort and my humiliation the whole time.

A few glasses of hard liquor down, and my stomach twisted with sharp cramps.

I clenched my fists, and when I finally couldn't hold on, I spoke to the table with an apology.

"Sorry, everyone. I'm not feeling well. I'd like to leave first."

Seeing how pale I was, the client's boss didn't try to keep me.

Regina came over at once, steadying me with feigned concern. "Lois, let me see you out."

It was just me and Regina in the elevator.

I leaned weakly against the wall, so sick that cold sweat broke out all over me.

Regina folded her arms and lifted her chin, her eyes full of provocation as she looked at me.

"Lois, you've chased after Aaron like a dog all these years. Still haven't given up?"

She let out a soft laugh, a smug edge in her voice.

"His heart belongs only to me. You could throw yourself at him and he still wouldn't spare you a second glance."

I didn't have the strength to argue with her. I only wanted to grab a cab and get back to the hotel to rest.

Just then the elevator shook violently, the lights flickering on and off, the car dropping fast before it jammed to a stop.

The elevator had broken down.

Regina called Aaron for help right away.

A moment later, Aaron's voice came from outside the elevator, anxious and gentle as he soothed her.

"Regina, don't be scared. The rescue crew's almost here. I'll stay with you the whole time."

I was curled in the corner, the pain in my stomach unbearable, my whole body drained, no strength left even to speak.

With a screech of grinding metal, the elevator doors were pried open a gap just wide enough for one person.

A rescuer's voice came from above.

"There are two young ladies inside. The car could drop at any second, so we can only pull one of them out first."

Through the gap, I lifted my eyes and met Aaron's gaze.

Something conflicted flickered in them, and the next second he pointed, without hesitation, to Regina on the other side.

"Save her first."

One second after Regina was pulled out of the car, the elevator dropped again.

Weightlessness hit me all at once, and the violent impact turned everything black. I lost consciousness completely.

When I woke, I was lying in a hospital bed.

A sharp, boring pain ran through my left wrist, wrapped in thick bandages.

Not long after, Aaron walked briskly into the room, a trace of apology on his face.

"It was chaos in there. I didn't know the person trapped with Regina was you"

He was lying. He had clearly seen me.

I braced myself against the edge of the bed to sit up, but Aaron stopped me at once.

"Lois, don't move around. You just had a skin graft. You need to rest."

My eyes snapped wide. "A skin graft?"

Aaron explained that when Regina was pulled out, her arm had been cut open badly, and he'd been afraid it would scar.

So he'd decided on his own, while I was unconscious, to take skin from my arm and graft it onto her.

Fury surged up, and I glared at him, my eyes going red.

My voice came out hoarse.

"Aaron, what exactly do I mean to you? Regina's afraid of a scar. You think I'm not?"

"What gives you the right to sacrifice me for her? Did you ever ask me?"

Aaron's brows drew together, his expression saying I was the one being unreasonable.

"Lois, show a little kindness. Regina has no family, no one in Harbor City. But you still have me."

"Even if you're left with a scar, I won't hold it against you."

It made me laugh.

Was I supposed to thank him for not holding it against me?

The surging anger slowly drained away, and all that was left inside me was cold.

I looked at him calmly, my voice level.

"I don't need that. Let's break up."

Aaron only looked unbothered.

He was certain I couldn't leave him, and there was a smugness in his tone.

"Lois, don't be dramatic. Since you brought up breaking up, then let's take some time to cool off."

He walked to the door of the room and paused.

"When you've thought it through, come find me."

With that, he left without looking back.

The nurse told me that in all the days I'd been unconscious, he'd been upstairs in the VIP room, staying with Regina.

I wasn't jealous, wasn't angry. There was only the tired, settled relief of something finally over.

He'd told me to come find him once I'd thought it through.

But he didn't know I would never come find him again.

That same day I checked out of the hospital.

And left Harbor City.