Greedy Roommates Love Freebies, So I Fed Them Special Golden Durian

There was one of those pushover types in the dorm.

First day of school, and she was already treating the whole room to expensive snacks.

When she saw me come in, she waved me over like it was nothing.

You must be our last roommate, right?

The other two were gushing about her, calling her a rich girl.

"This is Silvia Dotson. Chocolate-covered chips, I've never even had these before. You can't even buy them anywhere!"

"Silvia's treating us to all of it. Come on, join us!"

Silvia laughed easily and gave a generous little wave.

"Eat, eat. We're all roommates here, don't be shy."

I looked at the snacks piled across the table. Every last one of them was what I'd just set down on my bed.

Especially that box of dark-chocolate-coated chips, the ones my aunt brought back from Ridgeport.

A hundred and eighty-eight a box, ten boxes total.

I'd rationed my way through the first eight. The last two I'd been craving for two weeks and hadn't let myself open.

And now here they were, all torn open by them.

Looking at the empty wrappers, I didn't shout, didn't make a scene. I just smiled and pulled out my phone.

"Plain Brazil nuts, one twenty. Imported Wagyu beef jerky, six hundred."

"Swiss chocolate, four bars, two seventy. The rest, all the odds and ends, call it three hundred."

I watched their jaws drop, then pointed at the half-box of chips still in Silvia's hand.

"These chips, two boxes, three seventy-six. Comes to one thousand six hundred sixty-six total."

"So how would you like..."

"...to pay?"

...

"What?"

"One thousand six hundred sixty-six?"

Silvia's voice shot up, and the half-open bag in her hand nearly hit the floor.

Paige Chavez froze for a couple of seconds, then laughed awkwardly, trying to smooth it over.

"Jenny, you're joking with us, right?"

"We were just about to cheer Silvia a big six-six-six. You nearly scared us to death."

Bianca Lambert forced a smile too, but her eyes kept darting to my face.

But the longer they smiled, the more the smiles slipped, because I just stood there in the doorway and didn't move.

Paige slapped the bag of chips down on the table and frowned.

"What's the act for?"

"This is all Silvia's stuff. She hasn't said a word, so who are you to come in here totaling up a bill?"

Bianca crossed her arms, her tone hardening too.

"Right, Silvia, look at her. Who does she think she is?"

Silvia had her head down, like she wanted to bury her face in her collar. It took her a long moment to squeeze out a word.

"I, I didn't know... I thought those snacks were just left on the bed for anyone."

Paige went blank.

"They're not yours?"

"Then just now you were treating us to them?"

I pulled the door shut behind me, slow, and walked over to the table.

"Left on the bed for anyone?"

I tapped the nuts and the jerky on the table.

"What, did they grow legs and sprout up out of my bed on their own?"

The color drained out of Silvia's face.

I didn't give her the chance to explain. "The stuff was clearly on my bed, and you picked it up and started handing it around."

"It's not like you don't have eyes or mouths. Before you eat somebody else's things, it didn't occur to you to ask first?"

I swept my eyes over the three of them and let out a small laugh.

"And treating me to it."

"You think you've earned that?"

Paige's face went crimson. "Jeanette Finch, that's a really nasty thing to say."

"Silvia just saw you bought so much, she figured you wouldn't care. We're all roommates. Does it have to be like this?"

"Yeah," Bianca rolled her eyes. "A thousand-plus dollars of snacks, you were going to finish it all yourself?"

"Whether I can finish it and whether you steal it are two different things."

I held up the payment request.

"The list and the prices are all right here. One thousand six hundred sixty-six total."

"Send it now."

The air went quiet.

Silvia's lips moved, and her eyes slowly went red. "Jenny, I really didn't know..."

"Not knowing means you get to help yourself?"

I stared at her. "Weren't you the one who said it was left on the bed for anyone?"

"I..." She opened her mouth, and in the end all she could manage was, "I thought you wouldn't make a thing of it."

"So because I don't make a thing of it, you get to throw a party with my stuff?"

Paige tugged at Silvia's sleeve, her voice full of complaint.

"A thousand-plus is way over the top, isn't it?"

"Over the top?" I let out a cold laugh. "Funny, you didn't think it was over the top while you were eating it."

Bianca's face cycled from green to white. "So what do you want?"

"Nothing."

"You ate my stuff, you pay for it. That's just how it works."

"Our monthly allowance is only two thousand."

Bianca blurted it out. "How are we supposed to pay that?"

"That's your problem." I lifted my chin. "When you were taking someone else's things, how come it didn't cross your mind that you couldn't afford them?"

The three of them fell silent for a moment, and in the end, grudgingly, they scraped together the money and sent it over one by one.

I confirmed each transfer right in front of them, then turned and opened the dorm group chat.

And casually sent back a six-dollar tip.

"First day of school and I've already learned something."

"Here's a solo six for you. Keeping the change even, this bit's on me."

The next morning, Silvia came back to the dorm loaded down with snacks.

She walked straight up to me, a fawning smile pasted on her face.

"Jenny, I'm really sorry about yesterday. It was my fault."

"I had no idea that stuff was so expensive. Let me treat you today, okay? Don't be mad anymore."

Paige jumped in at once, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Silvia, you're just too nice. Why are you even apologizing to someone like her?"

Bianca crossed her arms and shot me a look.

"Right. No class, cheap as they come. Can't even stand to let anyone touch her precious snacks."

"You can tell she's broke and just putting on a show. Terrified someone might get one over on her."

Silvia hurried to grab their arms. "Stop it, both of you."

She picked up a bag of chips and held it out to me, bowing low.

"Jenny, have some. Consider it my apology."

I glanced at the packages on the table, picked up a bag at random, and checked the date.

Near expired.

Then I looked at the ones next to it. Even worse.

Sbriet soda, premium mixed-nut trail mix, Ore-No cookies, Snickas bars. Every single one a knockoff.

I set the bag back down. "No thanks, I'm not hungry."

That set Paige and Bianca off.

Bianca snatched up the chips and chewed them loudly on purpose.

"Silvia's being nice enough to treat you, and you're acting all high and mighty?"

Paige tore open a pack of spicy snack strips too. "Right. These are delicious!"

"Some people just don't know good food when they see it."

I leaned back in my chair and quietly enjoyed it.

All appetite, no thought for the aftermath.

They'd get theirs soon enough.

Sure enough, before evening study hall even started, the three of them were taking turns running to the bathroom.

"My stomach hurts"

"Don't shove, I'm going first!"

"Oh God, I really can't hold it!"

The bathroom door opened and shut, shut and opened.

I sat on the edge of my bed flipping through a book, their muffled complaints filling my ears the whole time.

"It had to be that takeout at lunch. It wasn't clean."

"It's so unfair. How does Jeanette, that snack hog, come out of this fine?"

"Right. There's no justice in the world."

It wasn't until study hall was about to start that the three of them came back, propping themselves up against the wall.

Their faces were slick with cold sweat, their legs shaky.

Silvia clung to the doorframe, lips gone pale.

Paige and Bianca glared at me, seething.

"Jeanette, don't you sit there gloating!"

"This time we just ate too much!"

"Oh?" I looked up at her and couldn't hold back a smile.

Paige grabbed an empty package off the bed and hurled it hard to the floor.

"Jeanette, don't get too pleased with yourself."

Bianca clutched her stomach, wrung out from all the running to the bathroom but still forcing out a threat.

"Just you wait. This isn't over!"

The next morning, Silvia showed up in the hallway with Paige and Bianca, hauling a big bag of snacks.

This time, Silvia had gotten smart.

The snacks were still near their expiration date, but at least she hadn't bought knockoffs again.

They went door to door, handing out snacks, buying goodwill everywhere.

"Take some, everyone, don't be shy. It's all on Silvia."

Paige and Bianca trailed beside her, taking snide little digs.

"That's our Silvia for you. Not like some people, who are rotten to the core."

"See? Look how generous Silvia is."

As luck would have it, I ran into them coming back from outside.

Silvia sidled right up and pressed a pack of cookies into my hand, her face all apology.

"Jenny, I'm really sorry about last night. We shouldn't have lost our tempers."

"Don't be mad, okay? Have some snacks. Call it my apology to you."

Paige rolled her eyes off to the side.

"Silvia's just too kind. Some people love playing the victim."

I couldn't be bothered to argue with them and turned to go pick up the package my aunt had sent me.

Inside was a full set of top-tier imported skincare, plus a whole stack of sample packets from the same brand.

The second Paige and Bianca stepped through the door, their eyes locked onto the samples on the desk, practically glued to them.

Something in me went tight. Without a word, I gathered everything into my cabinet and locked it.

By the time I got back to the dorm, the lock on my cabinet had been pried open.

The full-size set was untouched, but the whole pile of samples had vanished.

Silvia stood surrounded by a crowd of girls, every one of them holding one of my samples.

I stood there, my eyes going cold.

Each sample would sell for at least thirty dollars on a resale platform.

She'd handed them out one by one, and in a few minutes they were all gone.

When Silvia saw me, she came right over, her face all apology.

"Jenny, we saw you had so many samples in your cabinet, so we took them out and shared them with everyone."

"You don't mind, do you?"

Paige rolled her eyes off to the side.

"Oh come on, Jenny, they're just some worthless samples."

Bianca smiled, smug all over her face.

"Look how happy everyone is. You wouldn't care about that, right?"

I looked at their smug faces, one after another, and I was shaking with rage.

Teeth clenched, I forced one word out through them.

"Fine."

Silvia let out a breath and smiled wider, more pleased with herself than ever.

"I knew you weren't that petty."

I stormed into the stairwell and immediately messaged my aunt to vent.

Aunt Vivian, my roommates took my stuff AGAIN!!!

The moment she read it, my aunt called.

"Aren't they the greedy ones who love freeloading?"

"There's a Chinese medicine, this foul stuff, that clears heat and detoxifies. It's a top-grade cleanse. Since they've got filthy mouths and rotten hearts."

"I'll pay. You go buy them the best medicine there is and cool them right down!"

The words had barely left her mouth when my phone buzzed.

Payment received: five thousand dollars.

My eyes lit up.

Right. Weren't they the ones who could never get enough freebies?

They'd stuffed themselves till they were puking from both ends and still wouldn't stop. They had to be burning up inside.

In that case, I'd play the good guy for once, cool them right off.

I went straight out and bought a dozen huge, plump Musang King durians, then made a run to the Chinese herb shop and picked out a few pounds of that strong-smelling foul concoction.

And let me tell you.

The two things smelled and looked exactly the same.

Without a close look, you really couldn't tell them apart.

That strange stench, all mixed with the medicinal smell, had me wrinkling my nose right through three layers of mask.

Then I called a courier and had the dozen "special durians" delivered to the dorm.

At the door, I turned on the voice recording on my phone.

The instant the durian came through the door, all three of them, Silvia and the rest, lit up like starving wolves catching sight of light.

"Oh my god! Jenny, a durian this big! That's gotta be a Musang King!"

"It smells amazing already. It must be so sweet!"

I deliberately set the durian in the most obvious spot on the desk and said, taking my time, "Yeah. The shell's a real Musang King."

"But it's not for you to eat."

"I've got a use for it, so don't go touching it."

All three of their faces soured on the spot.

Bianca was the sourest of all. "Fine, we won't. Like anyone wants your stuff anyway."

Paige chimed in too. "Right. You think we can't afford our own?"

Watching them say things they clearly didn't mean, I gave them a bright smile.

"Good, don't eat it, then."

"I just worry you'll get a craving and sneak a bite."

With that, I pulled a newly bought throw pillow from my bag and tossed it onto my bed.

"You all carry on. I've got something to take care of. I'm heading out."

The moment I stepped out, I slipped into the storage room at the end of the hall.

There was a tiny camera hidden inside that throw pillow.

On my tablet, every move in the dorm room came through crystal clear.

"She's driving me up the wall! She did that on purpose!"

Bianca kicked a chair. "Buying all that durian just to rub it in our faces!"

Paige was just as worked up.

"Right? Who does she think she is, flaunting her money?"

Silvia sat off to the side and let out a fake, helpless little sigh. "Maybe Jenny really does have a use for it all."

She paused, then dropped her voice.

"But she bought so much. She can't finish it alone."

"How about... we share it around with everyone?"

Bianca's and Paige's eyes lit up at once.

"Yes! Silvia, that's a great idea!"

Paige slapped her thigh. "Last time you handed out her skincare samples, she was fuming, right? Face all twisted up, and she still didn't dare make a peep."

"Exactly!"

"Same thing this time. She won't dare do anything to us!"

Paige gave a cold little laugh. "She won't turn on us. She never does."

She pulled out her phone and posted in the floor group chat.

"Come to our room for top-grade Musang King durian, Silvia's treat."

Within minutes the doorway was packed with people.

The whole crowd swarmed the table, cracked open the durian shell and each took a bite. Every face instantly scrunched up.

"Silvia, why does this taste so weird?"

"Bitter and rank, like leftover herbal dregs."

"It's not a rotten one, is it?"

"What do you people know!"

Bianca jumped in, and to show them all up she stuffed a big piece into her mouth right in front of everyone.

"This is tree-ripened top-grade Musang King. The slightly bitter medicinal aroma is exactly what makes it the best!"

"Exactly!"

Paige shoved a big chunk in too, mumbling along in agreement.

"No taste at all, and food still can't shut you up!"

Silvia picked up a piece, placed it in her mouth with great poise, as if savoring some rare delicacy.

"That's just how Musang King is. The stronger it hits, the pricier it is."

With the three of them leading the charge and forcing it down, the others weren't sure, but they had no choice but to swallow it too.

And they kept praising Silvia for being so generous, until she was practically floating.

On the tablet, the three of them choked it down with pinched faces, still putting on their whole connoisseur act.

I almost couldn't hold back my laughter.

When they were at their most smug and carried away, I timed it, then shoved the dorm door wide open.

"What do you all think you're doing?!"

The room went dead silent.

Paige still had a piece in her mouth, cheeks bulging, staring at me without daring to move.

Bianca lost her grip on her spoon, and it dropped into the durian shell.

Silvia jumped at the sight of me.

But when she saw me staring at the durian shells on the table, the smugness in her eyes broke right through.

"Oh, hey, Jenny, you're back."

Silvia wiped her mouth and gestured at the mess of durian shells on the table.

"Forgot to mention, I saw you had way too much durian and I was worried it'd go bad, so I invited everyone to share it."

She flashed me a taunting smile.

"You're not going to be mad, are you?"

Everyone turned to look at me in unison, more than a little eager for a show.

Looking at their yellow-stained mouths, I bit back my laugh and forced a troubled expression.

"It's... not that I mind you eating it."

I drew a deep breath and pretended to worry.

"I'm just afraid... afraid you'll make yourselves sick."

Bianca heard that and instantly patted her stomach, laughing it off.

"What a joke! Since when does durian make anyone sick?"

"Let me tell you, Jeanette Finch, whatever happens with this durian today, sick or dead, it's got nothing to do with you!"

"Right! Nothing to do with our Jenny!"

The others joined in, egging her on.

Watching them dig their own graves, I finally couldn't hold it in and laughed.

"But the thing is, that's not durian in there."

The room went silent in an instant.

Everyone froze in place, their mouths stopping mid-chew.

The smugness on Silvia's face froze too.

"Then... then what is it?"

I looked around at all their horrified faces and gave a small smile.

"What's in there..."

"is my very own special-recipe durian!"