I Thought Crying Would Be Enough

I have a heart condition, and my doctor said I shouldn't have children.

My husband felt sorry for me and spared no expensemillionsto freeze my embryo.

Once you've recovered a little, we can have a baby whenever you want.

In the five years after our marriage, every time I brought up having a child,

Les Stephens refused, his eyes red.

"I'm afraid you'll suffer. Compared to a child, all I want is you."

Every time I felt the depth of his love, the more I wanted a child of ours.

It wasn't until seven years later that my longing to have a child reached its peak.

That night, Les brought home a young woman.

"Vanessa's family is poor and needs support. She's healthy, and she's willing to help us have a child."

I said only one thing, and he arranged everything perfectly, just like before.

A few days later, my phone showed that the car was shaking abnormally.

I went down to check, only to catch Les laughing with a strange girl inside.

A sharp pain stabbed through my heart, forcing me to pull back the hand that was about to open the car door.

Curled up in pain beside the car door, I listened to their hoarse conversation.

"Baby, have a child for me."

"What if your wife finds out?"

"If you get pregnant, then you can tell her the natural waythat our child is the embryo she froze."

Vanessa giggled. "Lie to her? Aren't you afraid of being found out?"

Les said mockingly, "A person with a heart condition has trouble just staying alive. Where would she find the energy to investigate?"

"Besides, she loves me to death. If I say the child is hers, she'll believe it for sure."

With trembling hands, I dialed a number.

"Hello, I froze an embryo here seven years ago."

"Now, I want it destroyed immediately."

A serious voice answered on the other end.

"Ms. Sanchez, are you sure you want to destroy it? Once it's destroyed, it can never be restored."

"I've pulled up the file. Seven years ago, you and your husband came in together to freeze the embryo. This matter... don't you need to discuss it with your husband first?"

I closed my eyes for a moment. "No need to discuss it. Go ahead and destroy it."

Since Les was already planning to have a child with another woman,

what difference did it make whether I discussed it with him or not?

After I hung up, I braced myself against the car and forced myself to my feet.

But the conversation inside didn't stop.

Vanessa rolled over and pinned Les beneath her.

"But what if, after the child is born, she gets an urge one day to do a paternity test?"

Les's voice, mixed with panting, carried a doting little laugh.

"With her heart the way it is, I have to go with her even to step out the door."

"Her running off to a hospital for a test alone? Impossible."

"Besides"

Les gave a low laugh.

"I've arranged everything perfectly. She'll only think the child you give birth to is her frozen embryo."

"She wants a child so badly that even if she finds out something's off, she won't have the heart to give it up."

My face was reflected in the car window.

Pale, lips turning purple, the corners of my eyes red.

Seven years ago, it was this same face.

The one that made Les ache with pity.

Through my heart attacks, time and time again.

He'd knelt at the hospital bed with red eyes, holding my hand, and said,

"Cynthia, let's freeze the embryos. Once you're better, we'll have as many as you want."

Then came five years.

Every time I brought up wanting a baby, he'd pull me into his arms with red eyes.

"No, your body hasn't recovered yet."

"Wait a little longer, until you're a bit stronger."

"Cynthia, all I need is you. I don't care about a child."

Every time he said those words with red eyes, I felt like the happiest woman in the world.

But now, Vanessa stroked Les's face and asked sweetly,

"So don't you love Cynthia Sanchez very much?"

"She's wanted a child all these years, and you wouldn't let herwere you really afraid she'd suffer?"

Les lit a cigarette and gave a mocking smile.

"Whether she suffers or not is beside the point."

"The main thing is, what if the child she gives birth to turns out like her, with a congenital heart condition?"

"I can't afford that gamble."

So that was the real reason he never wanted me to have a child.

That night, I sat frozen on the sofa the whole night.

Les sent a message: Cynthia, don't wait up for me tonight. I'm arranging a place for Vanessa. Get some sleep.

What do you want for breakfast tomorrow? I'll bring it to you.

I pressed the phone dark and didn't reply.

Early the next morning, Les came home.

He'd bought breakfastmy favorite, chicken and rice porridge.

"How did you sleep last night? Getting Vanessa settled took quite a while, so I couldn't come back to keep you company. Don't be upset."

As he spoke, he opened the container, set the spoon in place, and handed it to me.

I didn't take it. I raised my eyes and stared at him.

"Settled where?"

"I rented an apartment near the company, so it's convenient for her regular checkups."

"Don't worry, I made it clear to her. You're too weak to carry a child, and she's just helping us have a babynothing else between us."

Les sat across from me and reached out to touch my forehead.

"Why do you look so pale? Is your heart bothering you again?"

I turned my head to avoid his hand.

Les Stephens froze for a moment, then broke into a smile.

"Are you still upset that I brought someone home without talking to you first?"

Three days ago, I'd told Les that I had made up my mindI wanted to use our frozen embryo to have a child.

After all, I was already thirty-five this year.

I wanted to build a family with Les as soon as I could.

But after he heard me out, he patted my back gently and said, "Don't worry, leave everything to me."

That very night, he brought home a young girl, Vanessa Larson.

I asked him softly, "Les, if I have to hand off even the childbearing to someone else, am I still the child's mother?"

But Les didn't take it to heart.

"Cynthia, you have a heart condition. The doctors said it isn't safe for you to have a child. I'm doing this for your sake too."

Just like now, seeing how awful I looked.

Les sighed and coaxed me, the same as before.

"Cynthia, since it's your frozen embryo we're using, of course you're the child's only mother."

"I've pulled you back from the brink so many times. Your body is too weak. I really can't take the risk of losing you."

"So this once, just listen to me, all right?"

He sounded so heartfelt and sincere.

His eyes even reddened a little.

If I hadn't heard it with my own ears last night, I probably would have thrown myself into his arms and apologized again.

I lowered my head and ate my porridge.

"So the embryodid you tell her about it?"

When Les heard that I'd finally given in, his tone lightened.

"I did. In a few days I'll take her in for the embryo transfer."

I set down my spoon. "She agreed?"

Les nodded. "Her family isn't well-off. I gave her a sum of money, and she jumped at it."

"Good."

Les visibly relaxed and hugged me from behind.

"I knew you were the most sensible one, Cynthia. Once the baby is born, the three of us will have a good life together."

I closed my eyes, laughing coldly inside.

Whose family of three, exactly?

For two weeks straight, Les left early and came back late, suddenly so busy.

He came home reeking of perfume.

Every time he saw me frown, he'd explain gently.

"It's Vanessa. She suddenly got faint at the sight of blood during her embryo transfer checkup today, so I carried her back."

"I must have brushed against her by accident."

I didn't expose his lie.

And of course Les had no idea that, right then, in the drawer of the coffee table, there sat a stack of photos a private investigator had just handed me.

They documented how, all month long, he'd been leaving early and going to Vanessa's apartment and coming home late.

His car would park downstairs at the building, and Vanessa would come running out and throw herself into his arms.

They were in the bedroom, on the balcony, in the bathtub...

Embracing, kissing.

I even had a recording saved on my phone.

Vanessa asking nervously, "Les, no protection again?"

"What's there to be scared of? Aren't we trying for a baby anyway?"

Every day I watched these, listened to these, like I was torturing myself.

I cried until my eyes were red and swollen.

Until that evening, when Les came back after claiming he'd been working late.

He looked wonderful, as if something had been nourishing him.

I pretended not to see the hickey on his neck.

"Les."

"You see Vanessa every day. She's younger and prettier than me. Could you ever fall for her?"

His hand paused as he loosened his tie.

Then he laughed out loud.

"Cynthia, what are you dreaming up all day long?"

"Isn't every time I see her all for our child's sake?"

"Her checkups, blood draws, ovulation shotsevery one of them needs someone there with her. You're not well, so if I don't go, who will?"

He reached out and cupped my face, his thumb brushing beneath my eyes.

"Cynthia Sanchez, in this lifetime I'll only ever fall for you."

"What is Vanessa? Just a tool."

"Once she's carried the baby, she takes the money and goes. I have nothing to do with her."

I stared at his neck.

The hickey on the side of his neck was a glaring red.

"Then what's this?"

Les instinctively reached up to cover it, then made a show of casually lowering his hand.

"Last night I was waiting in the car for Vanessa's blood results and fell asleep against the headrest. Probably a mosquito bite."

He tapped my nose. "Is it because I haven't been around that you're overthinking things again?"

"I promised youonce I'm through this busy stretch, I'll spend real time with you."

That evening, I came out in a bath towel and undid it in front of Les.

Every other time he saw this, his eyes would light up and he'd pin me down, breathing hard.

"You know I can't resist you fresh out of the bath, and you tease me on purpose."

But now, he only glanced.

Then he frowned and wrapped the towel back around me.

"Honey, I've been really worn out these past few days. I'm just not in the mood. Another time, okay?"

I stared into his eyes. "You haven't touched me in a month."

Les's eyes shifted away.

"Work is squeezing me dry. I've got nothing left in me."

Someone else was doing the squeezing.

"Fine, I understand."

I turned and walked away. The truth was, tonight I was only testing him.

A man who was already filthyI wouldn't touch him again.

Les shut the study door and video-called Vanessa inside, all warm words and tender concern.

And I dialed my lawyer directly. "Draft me a divorce agreement."

A month later, the private investigator photographed Vanessa going to the hospital in a face mask.

When she sent me the video, she seemed hesitant to speak.

"Ms. Sanchez, that woman really does seem to be pregnant."

"She threw a two-line pregnancy test into the trash, and I went and confirmed it."

"And the prenatal report does show she's two months along."

My whole body went rigid.

At that same moment, my phone rang.

Les's messages popped up one after another.

"Cynthia, I've got good news for you."

"Your embryo transfer was a success."

I remembered years ago, how Les had once sworn up and down.

"Cynthia Sanchez is my wife, and the only love of my life."

"Back then I was flat broke. She gave up her government job and borrowed 15 million dollars to help me build everything from scratch. That's how I got to where I am today."

"I will never let her down as long as I live."

But in just seven years, he'd forgotten the promise he'd made with his own mouth.

He was even lying to me with a completely clear conscience.

Seeing that I still hadn't replied, another message from Les popped up.

"Cynthia, why aren't you answering me? Have you gone dumb with happiness?"

He was pushing so hard that I typed out a few words: We'll talk when you get home.

I sat on the sofa waiting until evening.

Les came home. "Here, easy now."

Vanessa trailed in behind him, and he was carefully supporting her.

He had her change into my slippers and sit in my seat.

"What is this supposed to mean?"

I looked at Les.

He sighed and explained to me with a frown.

"Vanessa nearly took a fall. She lives alone in an apartment, and it won't do to have no one looking after her."

"Since the embryo transfer has already succeeded and she's carrying our baby, from now on she'll live here in this house with us."

I was about to speak, but Les didn't give me a chance to refuse.

He simply walked Vanessa off to her room.

From the day Vanessa moved in, she started showing her true colors.

When Les was around, she always looked cautious and meek, on edge.

When Les wasn't home, she'd come right up to me, brazen, and provoke me.

"Cynthia, do you really think you're such a success as Mrs. Stephens?"

"The child in your belly is mine, plain and simple."

"Frozen embryo transfer? Your husband never took me anywhere for that. That embryo of yours is still sitting in cold storage."

"Cynthia, you'll never be a mother in this life."

"Someone with a congenital heart condition like you should just stand by and watch other people be happy, and help me and Les raise our child."

"If you're smart, my advice is to hurry up, get divorced, and clear out."

I watched her, expressionless, and spat out a grape skin.

"Vanessa, you've got quite the ambition."

Les said she'd taken the money and left, that she was just a poor student he was sponsoring.

I gave a cold laugh.

"So you were never satisfied with just a sum of money. You've been eyeing the position of Mrs. Stephens all along."

Vanessa dropped the act.

"I can tell the difference between a one-time sum of money and money I could never spend in a lifetime."

"You've seen it yourself, how much Les cares about this baby in my belly. So the one who ends up cleared out will definitely be you."

If I still had my old temper, I would have grabbed Vanessa by the hair right then.

Landed a few hard kicks and made her miscarry on the spot.

But now I felt nothing.

After all, Les is already filthy, and I don't want him anymore.

Why dirty my own hands too?

"Vanessa, do you have the guts to say any of this in front of Les?"

I stood up. "You don't dare. So as long as I'm still here, you will never be Mrs. Stephens."

Vanessa could only glare at me, then turn on her heel in a fury and slam the door on her way out.

Les still didn't stint on performing his deep devotion to me in front of Vanessa.

That day, I'd just finished a shower and was drying my hair.

Les took the hair dryer from me and started drying it for me, the gesture perfectly natural.

"Cynthia, the doctor contacted me today. He said Vanessa's baby is completely fine. You're finally going to be a mother."

"Are you happy?"

"Happy."

He turned his head to look at me, then suddenly leaned in close.

"Why do you seem so distracted today? Is your heart bothering you again? I'll get your medicine."

He set down the hair dryer, got up and went to the living room, and came back with water and the pills.

I took the medicine and put it in my mouth.

He watched me swallow before he was reassured.

"Cynthia, you need to get your health back. We still have most of our lives ahead of us."

"Once we have the child, we'll have to study up on childcare even more, so we can raise the baby healthy."

Looking into Les's sincere, worried eyes, I quietly interrupted him.

"If I died one day, would you remarry?"

Les froze on the spot, then frowned.

"Don't say such unlucky things."

"You won't die. I won't allow it."

"And with me here to take care of you, you'll live to be a hundred for sure."

I only smiled, indifferent.

It's true I won't die anytime soon.

But I will leave.

Ever since Vanessa Larson moved into the villa like she had every right to be there.

Les Stephens and she grew more and more intimate.

The only thing they didn't do was sleep in the same bed.

They ate together, went shopping together, bought maternity and baby products, and even picked out the crib with their own hands.

Vanessa started having morning sickness.

The moment she felt unwell, Les would rush right over to take care of her.

Her belly had barely begun to show when Les lifted her shirt, leaned toward her stomach, and called out, "Baby, I'm your daddy."

And Les didn't try to hide any of it from me.

He probably figured I was too stupid to ever notice.

That day, I heard an unmistakable sound coming from the study.

I furiously pushed the door open, only to find Les holding a picture book, reading a story to Vanessa's belly.

"Cynthia?"

Les looked at me in surprise, then smiled and explained.

"I'm doing some prenatal bonding for our baby."

My hands were shaking. There were surveillance cameras installed in the study.

And I had just seen it on the backend terminalthey had clearly been having sex, just on the other side of that door.

And they were using prenatal bonding as a cover.

Back in my room, I dialed my lawyer's number.

"Is the agreement drafted?"

"Miss Sanchez, the first draft has been sent to your email. The property division follows that notarized agreement, with an added clause for emotional distress compensation."

"Add one more thing."

"Go ahead."

"Concealing a pregnancy during the marriage and falsifying medical documentsI've already gathered all the evidence."

"I'll list the charges for you. See if it's enough to file a criminal case."

The lawyer paused for two seconds. "Miss Sanchez, this is enough."

"But if you go the criminal route, there'll be no room left for anything between you and him."

"I don't want any room."

Over the next few days, no matter how far Les went, I kept turning a blind eye.

The way Vanessa looked at me grew more and more smug.

Then, one day, she deliberately provoked me by slapping me across the face.

Then she pretended to fall down the stairs, clutching her stomach and crying that I had pushed her.

Les turned cold toward me on the spot.

"Cynthia Sanchez!"

"Can you stop making trouble? That's your child."

"There was only one frozen embryo. If anything happens to Vanessa, you'll never get to be a mother again!"

He ignored the slap mark on my face and rushed Vanessa to the hospital in a frantic hurry.

On the way, Vanessa asked him anxiously.

"You just carried me out like thataren't you afraid your wife will be angry?"

Les chuckled softly.

"She won't be angry."

"If Cynthia didn't love me to death, why would she have spent these seven years desperate to give me a baby, like a sow popping out litters?"

"She loves me that much. A little coaxing later and she'll be fine."

It wasn't until two hours later.

Once Les had cooled off, he finally sent a text to smooth things over.

"Thankfully the doctor says Vanessa's baby is fine. Cynthia, I hope today doesn't happen again."

He thought I'd be like every other timea little coaxing, a way to save face, and we'd be back to normal.

But this time, I went straight to the airport with my suitcase in hand.

Before I left, I sent Les a message.

Eight o'clock tonight. Come to the coffee shop.

I have a surprise for you.