Love, Death and Nine Lives

The moment Casper led me to my seat at our wedding receptionthe one designed to kill meI knew I was done.

Nine times, I had replayed this life to win his love. Eight times, I had died at the hands of his adopted sister, Morrigan, and her murderous little games.

This was the closest Id ever come to succeeding, but the glint of fishing line on the grand clocks hour hand told me everything. When the hand struck twelve, the taut line would trigger the crossbow hidden in a box below.

And I would die. Again.

The warmth of Caspers hand on my shoulder felt sickening.

I tried to pull away, but he leaned in, his lips brushing against my ear. His voice was a soft, cruel whisper.

"Be good," he murmured.

"Morrigan was up all night setting this up. Whats one more try? A tenth times the charm, right? I promise, next time, I wont let her be so naughty."

So he knew. He knew everything. He knew Id fallen for him nine times, and he knew Id suffered nine brutal deaths because of Morrigans "pranks."

But there was one thing he didnt know.

This was my last chance.

I sank into the chair, numb. A part of me welcomed the release.

To die was to finally be free of the pain.

Ten seconds left. Morrigan raised her glass, calling for a toast to the happy couple.

Everyone rose to their feet, their faces beaming with genuine joy, their blessings lost in the roaring buzz that filled my head. My vision blurred.

Casper grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet, positioning me with chilling precision.

He made sure my forehead was perfectly aligned with the firing mechanism, ensuring I would meet my end at the peak of my supposed happiness.

My eyes fixed on the dark little hole that would swallow my life.

I counted down in my head.

10, 9, 8, 7

A manic glee danced in Morrigans eyes.

Casper looked at her with a gaze full of adoration, as if she were the most innocent child in the world.

4, 3, 2, 1, 0!

The bolt shot out like a striking viper.

A wave of primal fear crashed over me, and I jerked my head to the side.

Instead of oblivion, a searing pain tore through my ear.

The joyous atmosphere shattered. The room fell into a dead silence.

Seeing her "assassination" had failed, Morrigan slammed her wine glass down at my feet in a fit of pique. Red wine bled into the white silk of my dress.

"Why did you move?!" she shrieked.

"Do you have any idea how much work I put into recreating the Wedding Murder trap? This was the only chance!"

Casper dropped my hand, his face a mask of disappointment.

"Why didnt you just listen? Morrigan was up all night. Couldnt you have at least shown her some consideration?"

"Consideration? For the fact she stayed up all night planning to murder me?"

"You" Caspers voice dropped to a low hiss. "Its not like you actually die."

But it hurts! Every single time, it hurts!

The guests stood frozen, their champagne flutes hovering awkwardly in the air.

The standoff was broken by the small, piping voice of a child.

"Auntie Elaras ear is bleeding!"

Blood and tears streamed down my face.

A few women rushed forward with handkerchiefs, dabbing frantically at the wound.

Only then did Casper grudgingly grab my arm again.

"Lets go. To the hospital."

A bitter laugh caught in my throat.

What am I to you? Some cheap toy for you and your sister to break over and over again?

I remember being tied up, a rope connecting my neck to my ankles, slowly strangling myself to the sound of Morrigans innocent laughter.

I remember her luring me into a small, dark room, the space filled with a strange hissing.

I died of suffocation, crushed against a wall, only to realize later it was the sound of an inflatable castle filling with air.

I cried. I fought. I screamed. I tried countless times to prove to Casper that his sister wanted me dead.

He would always just brush it off.

"Its just childish games. How could that hurt anyone?"

"Shes my sister. Cant you just humor her for my sake?"

"Im five years younger than her! Why should I be the one to humor her?!"

"See? Youre getting worked up over nothing."

Even at my most hysterical, my most broken, I never imagined this.

I never thought that he knew, from the very beginning, that I would die these agonizing deaths, again and again.

Id always believed he was just blinded by his love for the precious sister he held so dear.

Now, Caspers voice was sharp with impatience.

"To the hospital! What are you standing there for? You want everyone to see you like this? You want them to blame Morrigan? You already ruined her plan, are you trying to make her look like the villain, too?"

I hadnt said a word, but he had already spoken my indictment and delivered his verdict.

I wrenched my arm from his grasp, turned, and yanked the crossbow bolt from the floral wall behind the main table.

It was embedded, with perfect, sickening irony, directly in the heart drawn between my name and his.

The bloodied tip gleamed under the chandeliers. I shoved it in Morrigan's face.

"At my wedding to your brother, what exactly do you think youre doing? If our marriage bothers you that much, just say so. Ill give him to you. You dont have to kill me for it!"

The color drained from her face, then flooded back in a blotchy red.

"Were just like brother and sister! What are you talking about?! Youre the one with a sick mind! Besides, this thing cant even hurt anyone. I cant be bothered explaining it to someone with no sense of fun!"

I pressed the arrowhead against her cheek. "Cant hurt anyone? Lets find out."

Before I could apply any pressure, Casper lunged, his hand clamping around my wrist like a vice.

The fury in his eyes was a terrifying inferno Id never seen before. After all the times Morrigan had experimented on metying me to a windmill, cutting the rope to a crystal chandelier above my head, stretching fishing line across a bike paththe harshest hed ever been was a soft-spoken "warning" for her not to be so mischievous.

The difference between being loved and not being loved was so painfully clear.

I stubbornly held onto the bolt. Caspers grip tightened.

A sharp crack echoed as my wrist bone snapped, and the bolt clattered to the floor.

Morrigan snatched it up, and in a flash of movement, dragged the sharp point across my cheek, leaving a deep gash. Then she darted behind Casper, peering out at me with wide, innocent eyes.

I screamed and lunged for her, but Casper blocked my path again.

"Elara," he said, his voice cold as ice. "You started it. You cant blame Morrigan for this."

He must have been terrified his precious darling would get hurt.

He swept me into his arms, carried me out to the car, and drove me to the hospital.

In the sterile white room, Casper sat by my bed, studying the twenty-something stitches that now marred my face.

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

My ear, torn and mangled. My wrist, shattered.

My face, sliced open and bleeding. This was the grand wedding you promised me, Casper.

And you have the audacity to ask if it hurts?

Before I could answer, he continued.

"So why did you have to be so stubborn? I told you this was the last time. Why couldnt you just grant her this one last wish? She came to my family when she was three, always feeling like an outsider. Shes drawn to these things because the child inside her never had a chance to grow up. Shes not trying to hurt you; shes trying to soothe herself. Once you come back next time, we can help her find an outlet, a new purpose. It would have all been fine."

I pushed myself up, ignoring the shooting pains, and pointed a trembling finger toward the door.

"Get out." My voice was flat, devoid of all emotion.

"I can't love her because I love you. And besides, with a brother who dotes on her like you do, how could she ever feel like an outsider? And just so you know, there wont be a next time."

He let out a long, heavy sigh and took my hand.

"Please, dont say things like that. Shes my sister. Ive always known nothing could ever happen between us. You dont need to be jealous. You know youre the one I love."

But the frustration and regret in his eyes told a different story.

It must be painful to be toyed with by fate. I understood that feeling all too well. So, I decided to set them both free.

I pulled my hand away and began twisting the wedding ring on my finger, trying to get it over my knuckle.

He dropped to one knee beside my bed, his voice pleading.

"Elara, please, stop this. Well have another wedding. A better one, even grander than this!"

Then, as if he were reciting a vow, or maybe just trying to convince himself, he said, "I remember the first time. When Morrigan electrocuted you in the tub. The way my heart broke when I found you that was love, wasnt it? And the next morning, when I woke up and the day had reset to when we first met, the joy I felt that was love, too."

The system must have glitched, I realized. It hadn't wiped his memory.

Listening to him list the evidence of his love so calmly, I felt a wave of profound exhaustion and disgust wash over me.

Just then, an orderly opened the door to the en-suite bathroom.

A moment later, Morrigans hysterical sobs erupted from inside.

"Youre begging her, brother?!"

Panic flared in Caspers eyes. He shot into the bathroom and emerged carrying Morrigan, then bolted from the room without a second glance.

Before I could process what was happening, a sharp, acrid smell drifted into the room.

Dizziness washed over me. What was she up to now?

I stumbled out of bed and staggered into the hallway, just in time to see Morrigan curled in Caspers arms on the stairwell, sobbing like a lost child.

"You just left with her! Youre abandoning me, arent you?! Fine! Then lets just die together!"

She had disguised herself as an orderly to sneak into my room, mixed disinfectant and toilet cleaner to create toxic gas, all to stage this dramatic, tragic love scene.

And there they sat, clinging to each other on the stairs, a perfect portrait of star-crossed lovers.

As if I didnt even exist.

Casper gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and cupped her tear-streaked face.

"Well have another wedding for Elara," he soothed.

"And Ill help you build another device, a better one. Just for her. Please dont be sad anymore, okay?"

But Morrigan only cried harder.

"Go ahead! Go be happy with her! Why do you even care about me?! And whats the point? The trick has been revealed! We could do it ten more times and it wouldnt be the same! That perfect moment is gone forever, and its your fault! You owe me this!"

Seeing her like this, Casper looked as though his heart was being torn to shreds. His eyes were wild with panic and self-reproach.

Without a moments hesitation, the words tumbled out of his mouth.

"Whatever you want. Tell me how you want her to die, and Ill make it happen."

I spun around and leaned against the cold windowpane, as if the glass could shield me from his words. But they pierced right through, exploding in my chest like a bullet.

I ripped the wedding ring from my finger and threw it out the window, the faint clatter on the pavement below a strangely comforting sound.

Then, I swung one leg over the sill. It was time to end this.

Time to go back to the world where I belonged.

But just then, a familiar, mechanical voice echoed in my mind.

[SUICIDE WILL RESET THE MISSION TO THE FIRST ATTEMPT.]

I clutched my head, a sound that was half-laugh, half-sob escaping my lips.

So my only option was to beg them to kill me faster? Was this my punishment for being unloved?

Whether from the shock or the lingering fumes of the gas, the world tilted and went black.