Love Me When I'm Gone

Six months ago, my own mother fell to her knees, begging me to donate a kidney to my stepsister.

Six months laterthe night before my weddingSusan is on her knees again.

Only this time, shes not asking for an organ. Shes begging me to hand over my fianc to the stepsister she actually loves.

Bethany, please.

I didn't answer.

Smack.

My head snapped to the side. The sting on my cheek was instantaneous, hot and throbbing.

My brother, Scott, stood over me, his chest heaving, veins bulging against the side of his neck. "Bethany, how can you be so selfish? Don't you know Brittany is spiraling? Her depression is critical!"

I looked past him at the white wedding dress hanging on the closet door.

Suddenly, a laugh bubbled up in my throat. A dry, broken sound.

Its fine.

Do you want it? Take it. Take it all.

My fingers curled around the paper in my pocketa stage four cancer diagnosis.

I have two months left.

When Im dead, everyone will finally be happy.

Chapter 1

The night before I was supposed to walk down the aisle, the atmosphere in the living room wasn't celebratory. It was a funeral.

Susan clutched the hem of my jeans, her knuckles white. "Bethany, just postpone the wedding. Let Seth go stay with Brittany for a while, okay? Shes manic. Knowing you two are getting married it broke her. Please. Im begging you."

Silence stretched between us, thick and suffocating.

I didn't answer.

Scott moved. A blur of motion, then impact.

He slapped me. Hard.

"Say something!" He roared, his face twisted in a mask of righteous fury.

I tasted copper. Blood. I touched the corner of my mouth and looked at themmy mother, my brother.

"Is there anything of mine you people won't sacrifice for Brittany?" I asked, my voice terrifyingly calm. "First my kidney. Now my fianc. Thats the deal, right?"

Susans eyes filled with tears. "Brittany is young shes fragile. She cant survive without Seth right now. I promise you, Bethany. Once she stabilizes, Ill make sure Seth comes back to marry you. Okay?"

Scott grabbed my wrist, his grip bruising. "Bethany, stop being so unreasonable. Were a family. Do you want your sister to die?"

The door creaked open.

Seth walked in.

He was still wearing the tuxedo hed picked up for tomorrow. He looked sharp, handsomeand completely detached.

I saw the hesitation flicker in his eyes. A moment of guilt? Maybe.

But then he walked over and patted my head. Not like a lover. Like youd pet a dog you were leaving at a shelter.

"Bethany," he said, his voice low. "Wait for me."

Then, they left.

All three of them, rushing out the door as if the house were on fire, desperate to get to her.

I was left standing in the center of the room like a panicked clown. A pathetic joke.

On the bed, my veil and dress lay spread out, mocking me.

I walked over to the vanity and opened the drawer. Inside lay the medical report Id picked up yesterday.

Terminal.

It doesn't matter.

Im dying anyway.

Let them have the win. My kidney, my fiancBrittany can have the whole set.

My phone buzzed. Susan had already messaged the entire guest list.

Wedding canceled.

Seth had handled the grooms side. Postponed indefinitely.

As the bride, I was a ghost in my own life. I had zero say.

It felt exactly like six months ago.

When Brittanys kidneys were failing and she needed a transplant, the whole family was ordered to get tested.

Ive always been the invisible child. The background noise.

But the day the compatibility results came back, everything changed.

Susan, Scott, and my stepfather, Winston, didn't go to the hospital to comfort Brittany.

Instead, they were home. Waiting for me.

The table was set with a feast. Candles, expensive wine, heavy platters of food. They pulled out my chair, smiling, piling food onto my plate.

For the first time in my life, I felt seen. I felt cherished.

I looked down at the plate.

Lobster thermidor. Crab cakes. Shrimp cocktail.

They were beaming at me, waiting for me to eat.

Not a single one of them remembered I have a deadly shellfish allergy.

Chapter 2

Susans voice dropped, soft and ingratiating. "Bethany, the compatibility results came back Youre a match with your sister. You can save her."

I stared at the spread of shellfish on the table. The smell alone was making my throat itch.

Suddenly, I lifted my eyes to the three people standing before me.

"Does anyone here remember that I have a severe seafood allergy?"

Clatter.

Scott hurled his silverware across the table. The metal fork struck me in the face, stinging sharply.

His face was flushed, twisted in disgust. "Bethany, Brittany is on her deathbed, and youre sitting there bitching about an allergy?"

Susan let out a sob, burying her face in her hands. "You have to save her. Dont forget, Winston paid for your college. He paid your rent. You need to show some gratitude!"

Outside, the sky tore open. Rain hammered against the windows, dark and violent.

Susan dropped to her knees again.

Scott glared at me with pure hatred.

Winston, my stepfather, looked at me with desperate, pleading eyes.

I forced a smile. It felt tight on my face.

"Mom," I said, my voice quiet. "If I give her my kidney can we make a deal? Will you stop making me give her my life? Will this be the last thing I have to sacrifice for her?"

Susan hesitated for a split second. Then, she nodded frantically, her head bobbing like a puppets.

"I promise. I promise."

"Okay," I whispered. "Ill do it."

The tension in the room snapped. Three sighs of relief echoed in the dining room.

BOOM.

A crack of thunder shook the floorboards. Susan scrambled to her feet, panic widening her eyes.

"Brittany is terrified of thunder. She cant be alone right now. I have to go to the hospital."

In seconds, they were gone.

I was left alone in the empty house, sitting in front of a table full of food that could kill me.

I sat there in the silence, and a memory surfacedmy biological father, before the cancer took him. Back when Mom loved me. Back when my brother protected me. Back when I was the center of their world.

When did the axis shift?

Maybe twenty years ago. After Dad died, Mom took Scott and me and married Winston.

Winston was kind. Wealthy. And he had a daughter.

Brittany.

She was bubbly, charming, and bright.

I was the grieving, sullen kid whose quality of life had plummeted after Dad died. I wasn't the "likable" one.

Watching themScott, Mom, Winston, and Brittanythey looked like a perfect family of four.

I was just the glitch in the portrait.

If I liked a toy, and Brittany wanted it, Mom gave it to her.

If I wanted attention, I had to wait until Brittany was done.

Even Scott.

Day by day, I watched my own brother defect. He started favoring the stepsister who shared zero blood with him over me.

I remembered walking behind them after school.

Brittany would hop onto the back of Scotts bike, wrapping her arms around his waist, laughing. They would ride off, leaving me to walk home alone, staring at their retreating backs.

I remembered the day she cornered me.

"Bethany," shed said, her smile innocent and cruel. "Your mom and your brother theyre mine now. Youre just extra space."

Tears had welled up in my eyes.

But before they could fall, she had already spun around, running into Susans arms, cuddling her, then turning back to shoot me a triumphant smirk over Moms shoulder.

Chapter 3

The memory faded, dumping me back into the cold reality of my bedroom.

I was lying on the tulle of my wedding dress.

A sudden, jagged spike of pain ripped through me. It wasn't just an ache; it was a drill boring into my marrow.

My vision blurred. Hot, angry tears spilled over, scalding my cheeks.

I curled into a tight ball on the gown Id spent months choosing, clutching the fabric until my knuckles turned white. Whimpering.

I sounded like an abandoned puppy.

Morning brought a cold clarity.

I packed a bag and drove to the apartment Seth and I shared.

I stared at his contact on my phone. My thumb hovered, then tapped.

Seth. We need to talk.

The reply was instantaneous.

No text. Just a photo.

It was a selfie. Seth and Brittany.

He was grinninga loose, boyish grin I hadn't seen since our freshman year of college. His brow was smooth, his eyes crinkled at the corners. He looked light. Unburdened.

My stomach dropped.

Seth didn't send this. She did.

I dialed Susan.

She picked up on the second ring, her voice hushed and impatient. "Bethany, not now. Seth is sitting with Brittany. Shes finally stable. I have to goIm bringing her some soup."

Click.

I tossed the phone onto the couch cushion and stared at the floor.

A soft whine.

Cooper.

My Golden Retriever hopped onto the sofa, his nose working overtime, sniffing at my shirt. He laid his heavy head on my lap, letting out a long, depressed sigh.

Animals know. He could smell the sickness rotting me from the inside out.

I buried my fingers in his fur, scratching behind his ears. "Cooper, baby. Mommy has to go handle something. Ill be back for you."

I drove to the hospital.

The scene inside Room 304 was domestic bliss.

Winston and Susan were hovering near the bedside, slicing apples like doting servants. On the bed, Brittany was flanked by Scott and Seth.

They were glued to a Nintendo Switch, laughing, shouting instructions. Helping her rank up.

I swallowed the bile rising in my throat and pushed the door open.

The laughter died.

Brittanys face transformed instantly. The joy evaporated, replaced by a fragile, trembling mask. She grabbed Seths arm, clinging to him like a lifeline. Her eyes welled up on cue.

"Bethany please," she whispered, her voice trembling. "Can I just borrow Seth? Can you let me have him? Just for a little while?"

Seth jerked back, shaking off her hand. He stood up, looking cornered. "Bethany. I I was planning to come home soon."

Winston chuckled nervously, stepping between us to play the peacemaker. "Now, Bethany. Brittany isn't recovered yet. Once shes better, well all be there for your big day. Just give it time."

Suddenly, Brittany let out a piercing shriek.

She grabbed her head, rocking back and forth, hyperventilating.

Scott was on her in a second. He wrapped his arms around her, rocking her, his voice a low, soothing mantra. "Shh, Britt. Its okay. Im here. Scotts here. Youre safe."

Susan shoved me toward the door. Hard.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed, her face inches from mine. "You know you trigger her! Do you want to kill her?"

I planted my feet, locking eyes with her.

"Mom. Do you even remember that I am your biological daughter?"

For a second, she froze. A flicker of somethingshame?passed through her eyes.

Then the ice returned. She pushed me again.

"Bethany, stop being so dramatic. You went to college. You got your Masters. Who paid for that? Winston did. Stop playing the victim and learn some gratitude."

Chapter 4

I refused to let go. I grabbed Susans hand, my grip desperate, pathetic.

"Mom, look at me. I can pay Winston back. Every cent he spent on college, Ill return it. Can you just"

Slam.

She shut the door in my face. She didn't even look back.

I finished my sentence to the cold wood.

"Can you just not treat me like this?"

The handle turned.

Seth stepped out into the hallway. He looked wrecked, guilt heavy in his eyes.

"Bethany," he started, voice low. "Theres nothing going on between Brittany and me. Her depression is severe. Thats all this is."

I looked at him. The man Id loved since freshman year. Seven years of my life.

I let out a long, shaky breath. The air left my lungs, and with it, the last of my denial.

"Seth. Remember the summer during grad school? When Brittany insisted on interning in our city and crashed on our couch?"

I paused, watching his face.

"Did you forget I installed a pet cam to check on Cooper?"

The blood drained from his face instantly. He reached out, his fingers digging into my sleeve.

"Bethany I didn't do anything with her."

I nodded slowly.

"Right. You didn't do anything. You just gamed together for hours. You binged Netflix on the same blanket. You walked my dog together like a little family. And when she talked trash about me? You just listened."

I stepped closer, my voice dropping to a whisper.

"And when you were 'asleep' on the couch and she kissed you? You didn't push her away."

"Bethany," he choked out. "Were getting married tomorrow."

"No. We aren't."

I shook my head. "I tried to play dumb, Seth. I really did. But I can't do it anymore. Brittany is the favorite. Shes sparkling and fun and everyone loves her. And you? You loved the ego boost."

"That's not"

"Stop. All those cute selfies shes sent you over the years? Even if you never replied, you liked them. You liked that she wanted you. Didn't you?"

I turned to walk away.

Seth lunged. He wrapped his arms around me from behind, burying his face in my neck.

"Bethany, no. Im coming home with you. Seven years we have seven years together"

Thud.

A sickening crack echoed from inside the room.

We both froze.

Through the glass window of the hospital door, Brittanys face was pressed against the pane.

Then, she did it again.

She slammed her forehead into the wall. Hard.

Blood smeared against the glass. Her eyes were wide, manic, locked onto mine.

"Bethany!" she screamed, her voice muffled by the door but still piercing. "Why do you have to steal everything from me?!"

Seths arms went slack around me.

I felt the hesitation in his body. The shift.

He let go of my hand. His eyes darted away, unable to meet mine. Then, he turned his back on me and rushed back into the room.

That was it.

Seven years. Dead in seconds.

Inside, the screaming started. Susan and Scott were yelling. Vile, hateful words. The kind of language you only use on an intruder. On an enemy.

The door flew open.

Scott charged out.

He didn't stop until he had me pinned against the corridor wall, his forearm pressing against my chest. His eyes were murderous.

"Bethany, are you actually brain-dead?" he spat, his eyes burning with rage. "Are you trying to kill this family? Why do you have to ruin everything?"

I looked at my brother. I looked at the closed door where my mother and fianc were comforting my stepsister.

"Don't worry, Scott," I said, my voice hollow.

"Seth belongs to your precious Brittany now."

Chapter 5