Too Late for Apologies

Mallory, if you can't handle it, get the hell out. This is my house!

That was Alec. Right after I caught him cheating. Again.

Today is my birthday. He promised we'd spend it together. He forgot. Obviously.

He didn't just forget. He called mefresh off kissing some random girlto demand why I wasn't home playing the dutiful housewife.

Meanwhile, I was at the hospital, watching my best friend die.

Ten years of my life. Wasted on a man like that.

Chapter 1

I wiped my tears and packed a bag for the hospital. April was waiting. My childhood best friend. Terminal.

I handed her a slice of cut fruit, but my phone started buzzing against my thigh. I stepped into the hallway to answer.

"You're not home?"

Alec.

The image flashed in my mind. His arm around that girl. His mouth on hers.

"I'm with April," I said, my voice flat. "You're not exactly home either, are you?"

A scoff echoed on the other end. "Didn't I say I'd be back today?"

"Your promises are cheap, Alec. How am I supposed to know what's real anymore?"

"Mallory! Stop looking for a fight."

I cut him off. My grip on the phone tightened until my knuckles turned white. "Do you even know what day it is?"

"What day? Don't tell me it's another one of our anniversaries."

I jabbed the end call button. Hard.

It didn't matter how many times he did this. His indifference still sliced right through me. A dull ache settled deep in my chest.

We used to celebrate everything. One month. Six months. One year. Later, I tried to use those dates as a lifeline, a desperate attempt to fix us. He just mocked me for it. Eventually, I stopped remembering too.

But April being sick... it shifted something in me. Stirred up old hopes. I thought, just maybe, we should spend a birthday together.

Even after all these years, I can still taste that first kiss under the bleachers. The scent of summer grass. But time changes things. Now, he gives those kisses to anyone.

It was dark by the time I got back to our apartment. The windows were glowing. A rare sight.

"What is this about, Mallory? You demand I come home, then you run off to April's?"

He looked annoyed. I just felt exhausted. My shoulders sagged under the weight of it.

"You weren't here," I said.

"So where the hell am I sitting right now?" He always had a comeback. Always had to win. "We left the office at the same time. I made it home. Where were you?"

I've been Alec's assistant for years. Our offices are separated by a single wall. Sometimes, when his mood strikes, we leave together. A fleeting moment of peace. Like we're actually a couple in love.

Chapter 2

"Do you want to put a tracker on me? Is that it? Do you need to watch my every move, hear every word, just to be satisfied?"

Alec shot up from the sofa. He kicked the coffee table.

The wood groaned. The vibration traveled up through the floorboards, settling like a lead weight in my stomach. The sound echoed in the living room, and it echoed in my bones.

I looked up at him. I didn't cry. "Being the loudest person in the room doesn't make you right, Alec. It just proves you're guilty."

He looked at me like I was something stuck to the bottom of his shoe. He couldn't stand the sight of me. He stormed toward the door.

"If you can't handle it, Mallory, then get the hell out. This is my apartment. Not yours. Got it?"

He gripped the door handle. "You begged me for this relationship, remember? I never said I had to be with you."

The door slammed. The frame rattled. Silence rushed back in.

Suddenly, my mind drifted. I missed the birthday I had senior year of high school.

Darkness. Fingers brushing against mine, terrified and electric. Alec producing a cake from behind his back like a magic trick. His voice, whispering Happy Birthday so our parents wouldn't hear.

That was my most complete birthday. There was cake. There was a lover.

I still remember it. A SpongeBob SquarePants cake. Yellow icing. Sickeningly sweet. I never tasted anything that sweet again.

And I never saw that Alec again.

Maybe I cried myself to sleep. My dreams took me back to the days before tears.

"01, 01, this is April."

I laughed, grabbing her hand in the dream. "April, April, this is 01."

"Question: Why do you help Alec cheat on every test when he still fails?"

"..."

Mrs. Thatcher loved failing people. If you didn't pass, she owned you. Alec sucked at English. Every exam, Id make him a custom study guide and leave it on his desk. April called me his personal Saint.

Dreaming of high school took the edge off the anger. By the time I was sitting at my desk the next morning, watching Alec, I felt numb.

"Mallory? Is Alec in?"

Kinsley. The influencer.

She was pretty. Obedient. But looking at her face felt like swallowing glass. My chest tightened, a physical constriction around my lungs.

I avoided her eyes. "He's in. Go ahead."

She flashed a sugary smile. "Thanks!"

She pushed the heavy office door open. As I watched her walk away, the silhouette hit me. She looked like someone.

Katrina.

Freshman year of college. Long distance. Before we were glued to smartphones, losing contact was easy. I was young. Stupid. Determined. I used to take a ten-hour Greyhound bus ride just to see his face.

Chapter 3

One look. Thats all it took.

The door to his apartment swung open, and Katrina stepped out.

She was a vision. Wavy hair cascading down her back, a waist you could span with two hands. She was stunning. A walking, breathing reminder of my own insecurities.

My stomach dropped. I tried to delude myself. Its a big building. Lots of tenants. Coincidence, right?

Then she looked right at me. "Mallory? You must be Mallory."

The air around me turned to ice. "You are..."

"I'm Katrina. I've heard so much about you. From Alec."

I remember the sensation vividly. It wasn't sadness. It was a physical blow. Like someone had wound up and punched me square in the center of my chest.

She smiled. "Small world."

My world didn't feel small. It felt shattered.

Tap. Tap.

Kinsley knocked on my desk, snapping me back to the present. She was glowing, fresh from his office. "Mallory? Alec wants you."

I dragged my heart out of the memory, plastered on a professional smile, and walked in. Alec was unwrapping a box on his desk. Elaborate packaging. Expensive.

"Want one?" He held out a piece.

Dark chocolate.

I stared at it. "You don't eat... chocolate."

He paused, then shrugged. "Once in a while won't kill me. Besides, its the thought that counts. Can't let a girl's effort go to waste."

I froze. My feet rooted to the carpet. His words echoed in my skull.

Can't let the effort go to waste.

So he knew. He knew that a heart offered is fragile. He knew that rejecting a gift is rejecting the person.

But I remembered a different birthday. His birthday.

I had spent two days tempering chocolate in my tiny dorm kitchen. Hand-wrapped. Imperfect. I handed it to him like it was a piece of my soul.

He opened the box. Glanced at it.

"Anyone want chocolate?" hed asked the room.

Then he brushed his thumb against my cheek, casual and cruel. "I'm not really into sweets. Don't waste it. You eat it."

I took the box back. My fingers stiff. On the walk home, I dumped it in the nearest trash can.

That was the unspoken rule of our relationship: Unwanted affection is just garbage waiting to be tossed.

"Mallory!"

Alecs voice cut through the noise in my head.

"Hmm?"

"You're spacing out again."

I didn't answer.

He tapped the desk, a rhythmic, impatient sound. "New movie is out. I'll take you."

Compensation? A consolation prize for being the other woman in my own relationship?

I bit my lip. "Which showtime?"

I hated myself. The words tasted like bile, but I said them anyway.

That evening, the hospital air smelled of antiseptic and tension. April was tearing into Derek again. She was shouting. He was taking it, silent as a stone.

"Mal! Get in here! Save me!"

The second Derek saw me, he stood up. The relief in his eyes was instant. He brushed past me at the door. "Don't give her anything she can't digest."

I glared at his back before turning to the bed. "Mad again, April? Its bad for your blood pressure."

"I can't help it! He's just so..." She huffed, cheeks flushed.

"Just vent at him. He never fights back anyway. Does that make you feel better?"

Aprils eyes went wide. She glared at me, a flash of childish spite crossing her face. "You know Alec is getting married, right?"

The fruit knife in my hand slipped.

Slice.

The blade bit deep. A long, thin red line appeared on my thumb.

I stared at it. For a second, there was nothing. Then, the blood welled up, spilling over the cut.

The pain finally hit the nerve.

Chapter 4

"Mallory!"

April jammed her finger against the call button.

Nurses swarmed. Gauze. Tape. The smell of iodine.

By the time I was patched up and sitting in the chair, April looked terrified. She wouldn't let me near the fruit knife again. She patted her chest, trying to slow her own heart rate, while I just stared at the wall.

"You didn't know..." She looked guilty. Her voice was small.

I forced a smile. "Does it matter if I knew?"

Her eyes darted to my bandaged thumb. "It matters. If Id known you'd react like that... I wouldn't have said a word."

I calmed her down before I left. Walking back, the streetlights were blurring. I looked up at our apartment building. The windows were dark.

Where was Alec?

With his fiance? With the influencer? With some random girl he picked up at a bar?

He wasn't with me. That was the only constant.

I knew the girl he was engaged to. Leighton. The heiress to the Zhou corporate empire. I remembered her clearly from a contract negotiation last month.

She had scanned me up and down, her gaze sharp as a scalpel. "Assistant, right? Mallory?"

I had extended my hand, professional, polite. "Ms. Zhou. I look forward to working with you."

She had laughed then. A strange, knowing sound. "Oh, we will. We'll be seeing a lot of each other."

I didn't get it then. I got it now.

My thumb throbbed. A sharp, rhythmic pulse pushing against the stitches. The winter wind cut through my coat, but the shivering started from the inside out. My teeth chattered.

I asked myself: Mallory, how did it get to this point? How did I become this person?

I didn't even ask Alec about the marriage. I didn't scream. Instead, I found a tiny studio apartment. A shoebox. I started moving my life out in pieces. A few books one day. A coat the next.

Alec didn't notice. He was rarely home, and even when he was, he was blind to anything that didn't directly affect him. The gaps on the shelves meant nothing to him.

I spent my nights at the hospital. April was fading. She was skeletal now, her days consumed by sleep.

Sally, the young nurse, came in to change the IV bags. Her eyes were rimmed with red. She squeezed my shoulder on her way out. "Stay with her," she whispered, her voice trembling. "Just... be here."

My throat closed up.

April had wasted away. The junk food I smuggled in sat untouched. Even if she ate it, her body rejected it minutes later. I gripped her fingers. They felt fragile, like dry twigs.

A tear hit the bedsheet. Then another. I tried to wipe them away, but my hands were shaking too hard.

"Hey..." Her voice was a rasp. "What's with the waterworks?"

I looked up. "Thirsty, April?"

"I'm asking why you're crying." She tried to lift her hand to wipe my face. Her arm trembled and fell back. Gravity was winning.

"April, you can't check out on me. I don't have any other friends." I took her hand and pressed it against my wet cheek. "You're the only one."

The corner of her mouth twitched. A weak smirk. "Serves you right. I told you to make friends. But no, you spent ten years chasing a man. Regret it yet?"

I shook my head. "I have a best friend. The only one."

She stopped talking. Breathing took all her energy. But her eyes welled up, mirroring mine.

"What am I going to do, Mal?" she whispered, staring at the ceiling. "I haven't even seen you happy yet."

Chapter 5

I broke.

My forehead hit the mattress. Shoulders shaking. The dam finally burst, a raw, ugly sound ripping from my throat.

April laughed. A weak, breathy rasp. "Mallory, save some of that for the funeral. Make it look like I was really loved."

"April!" I choked out.

"Hahaha... stop it. You look ugly when you cry."

The city was buried under a blizzard. Two days later, the sun finally broke through, turning the snow into blinding slush.

Today was the movie. The one Alec suggested. The compensation.

I debated it for hours. Usually, Id be his personal alarm clock. Id send texts. Id call. Remember the date. Don't forget me.

This time? Silence. I didn't tell him I was going. I just went.

7:00 PM.

I sat on a bench outside the auditorium. I watched the couples stream past, hand in hand, sharing popcorn.

"Fifty-one... fifty-two..."

"Now seating for Theater 4!" An usher shouted over the lobby noise.

I sat. I waited. The trailers started. The movie started. The lobby emptied out.

I stood up and walked away.

This wasn't new. It was a rerun.

Flashback to our fourth anniversary.

I was shaking his arm, desperate for a reaction. "Tomorrow is the big day. Take me to that new movie? Please?"

He didn't even look up from his phone. "Romance movies are trash. Too cheesy. Pass."

"Okay. Pick one you like. Deal?"

"Sure."

I planned everything. I bought the tickets. I stood outside the theater, shivering in the wind.

I texted. Where are you?

I texted again. It's starting.

The previous show let out. The doors swung open.

And there he was.

Alec.

His arm was draped around a girl I didn't know. He was laughing.

I dialed his number. I watched him pull the phone from his pocket, annoyance flickering across his face.

"What?"

"Just checking if you remember the movie."

He sighed, a heavy, performative exhale. "Rain check. I'm beat. Work was hell."

"But... it's been four years. Today."

"It's just a date on a calendar, Mallory. We'll do it next year."

The girl next to him giggled and leaned into his shoulder. He hung up.

I never stepped foot in a movie theater again. Every time I tried, I saw him. I saw her. I saw myself, standing alone, holding two useless pieces of paper.

Back in the present, snow began to fall again.

I passed a trash can. I crumpled the tickets in my fist and tossed them in.

Garbage. Just like the chocolate. Just like the years.

I stopped going to the office. I lived at the hospital now. April slept most of the time. She was fading, her body becoming light, almost translucent.

Then, on a rare sunny afternoon, she woke up. Her eyes were clear.

"Mal," she whispered. "Take me outside. I want fresh air."

We wheeled her into the courtyard. The winter sun was crisp.

"I'm sorry, bestie." Tears slid down her pale cheeks. She turned her head, fixing her gaze on Derek. He was standing there, silent, like a statue about to crumble.

"I have to leave you," she said to him, her voice steady. "I have to let you send me off alone."

She reached out and grabbed my hand. Her grip was faint, a ghost of a touch.

We talked about high school. The dreams we had before life got in the way. The best times.

"I've walked too far," she whispered, looking up at the sky. "It's lonely here. I want to see my family."

Her breathing hitched. "Mallory, you need to be happy. Mallory, find your joy."

Her eyes found mine one last time. "Mallory, I'm going now. Don't be afraid."

Chapter 6

I gripped her hand so hard my knuckles turned white. My chest heaved, air refusing to fill my lungs. A panic attack in slow motion.

"April... stay. Please... don't go."

Her hand felt heavy. Cold. She patted my hand, a weak, rhythmic tap.

"Mallory... don't be afraid," she breathed out. "Do what you want. Be happy. I'll be watching... my only best friend."

"April, don't sleep. Stay."

The light in her eyes flickered.

"Mallory... don't cry."

And then, she was gone.

In the middle of the warmest, brightest afternoon of the year, my world went dark.

Derek was a machine.

While I fell apart, he went into autopilot. He handled the paperwork, the morgue, the logistics. Cold. Efficient. I glared at him through swollen eyes. I wanted to scream at his composure.

He walked over, ignoring my hatred. "Alec is texting," he said, voice flat. "He wants to know if you're here. What do I say?"

"I'm not here."

"Understood."

That was it. We didn't speak another word.

At the gravesite, I felt hollowed out. April had written her will weeks ago. She left everything to Sally, the nurse whod held her hand when I couldn't be there.

Sally found me by the headstone. She held me up when my knees buckled.

"She was joking, you know," Sally whispered, her voice trembling. "She told me she didn't want you crying at her grave. She said it would make her worry."

"She's bossy even now," I choked out.

The tears came harder. A physical purge. I turned around to leave.

And there he was.

Alec.

He was standing in a shaft of sunlight. And on his finger, catching the light with a cruel, mocking glint, was a platinum band.

Oh. Hes engaged. Its official.

He marched up to me, blocking my path. "Mallory, what is wrong with you?"

His voice was loud. Disrespectful. "Why aren't you home? Why did you block my number? I'm asking you a question!"

He fired them off like bullets. I just stared at him.

I was burying my soulmate. He was planning a wedding. What was left to say?

I took a step back. I looked at him. Really looked at him. He was the same man I fell for in high school. The same jawline, the same arrogance.

"Alec," I said, my voice surprisingly steady. "I'm twenty-eight."

He blinked, thrown off by the pivot. "Yeah?"

"When you agreed to date me, I was eighteen. Ten years, Alec." I pointed at his left hand. "It's a joke, isn't it? You're wearing a ring, but you still expect me to play the girlfriend?"

His reaction was instant. He hid his hand behind his back. A guilty reflex.

"It's just a ring."

Gaslighting, pure and simple.

I looked up. The wind was biting, cutting through my black dress. It felt good. It felt like waking up.

"Let's break up, Alec."

He froze. "Excuse me?"

I pointed to the sky, to where the first evening star would be. "You were so bright, Alec. For ten years, you were the only star in my sky. My whole world was dark except for you. I orbited you."

"Mallory, don't start..."

"But not anymore," I cut him off. "I'm done with the dark." I took a deep breath. "I'm going where the sun is."

Alecs face twisted. He turned on his heel. "Suit yourself," he spat.

He walked away.

I watched his back until he disappeared.

Ten years. Gone.

And I finally breathed.

Chapter 7