Secondhand Love I'm Done

My best friend came from a poor family and had a fondness for secondhand things.

My boyfriend admired how thrifty she was, so he opened a secondhand company for her.

After that, every gift I received was used.

One word from her, that something was too extravagant, and he traded my couture wedding gown for a dress she'd cobbled together out of old bedsheets.

One word from her, that "every grain comes from toil," and he canceled the wedding banquet we'd booked and replaced it with a hundred tables of leftovers.

He even believed her drunken joke that a "secondhand" woman had more flavor to her, and pressured me to date one of his buddies before the wedding, to gain some experience.

If that was how it was, then this secondhand love, I didn't want either.

I sent a message to my family:

"I agree to the marriage alliance."

"The wedding in a month, swap the groom for the man I'm matched with."

...

When James Mason saw me toss aside that bedsheet wedding dress, he started to scold me.

"Janet Dale stayed up the whole night making this gown for you. How can you be so thoughtless?"

Janet jumped in to smooth things over. "It's fine. Rosa probably can't stand a plain cloth dress like this. Let's switch it for the couture after all."

James exploded. "Switch it for what? She's not some movie star. What does she need couture for?"

"Rosamond Mann, you and Janet are as close as sisters, and you can't pick up even half of her thrift. How are you going to make a proper wife?"

Seeing this, Janet changed the subject and started talking with James about the reception dcor.

"Why don't we return all the fresh flowers for the banquet and use the artificial ones the company recycles instead? That way we save money, and we get to promote our company too."

James went from furious to smiling in an instant, and the more they talked, the better they got along.

The company had been doing well these past two years, and Janet was hailed as the one who'd made it happen.

Only when he was facing her did James ever break into a smile.

But I was supposed to be James's real girlfriend, and instead I'd become the backdrop to their date.

My phone chimed. A message from Janet:

Rosa, I handled your man for you. Don't thank me too much.

I don't get it. A good, thrifty man like this, I couldn't love him fast enough, and you're picking fights with him?

I pressed the phone dark and didn't reply.

Since she loved him, then let him be hers.

James and I met in college.

He always said greatness rises from humble beginnings.

Not long after we got together, he hit it off instantly with my best friend, who came from the same kind of background.

After graduation, the two of them went into business together and opened the secondhand company.

To please my boyfriend, I wore secondhand clothes and let him go through my accounts every month and control my spending.

When we went to family dinners, my parents got mocked because I was dressed so shabbily.

Meanwhile, Janet was quietly wearing the couture pieces out of my own closet.

James explained it this way:

"You were born into wealth. You have more beautiful clothes than you can count. They're wasted on you."

"Janet's lived frugally her whole life. It's only right she gets to wear something nice."

They went from the reception dcor to the dcor of the wedding home, and didn't even notice me leave.

Two people who fit together this well really ought to be together.

I rode my bicycle, weaving through the busy traffic of the city.

A pink Cayenne pulled up beside me, and the muddy water it threw up sprayed all over me.

Janet leaned her head out of the driver's seat.

"Rosa, I was going to give you a ride, but now you've turned into a little mud doll... if you get in, we'll just have to pay to wash the car again."

James gave a cold snort. "There's no money to waste on her like that!"

"Get going!"

"Yes, sir!"

Janet stepped on the gas, and the car shot forward.

The body of the car clipped my handlebar, and I fell to the ground.

That Cayenne was the birthday present my parents had given me.

The day Janet Dale got promoted to management, James Mason asked me to sign over the Cayenne so his company could use it as a fleet car.

A fleet car that somehow became Janet's personal ride.

In exchange, James bought me a bicycle.

I picked myself up off the ground, found the chain snapped, and had no choice but to push the bike home.

The rain soaked through me until I couldn't tell what was rain on my face and what wasn't.

Janet posted to her feed, showing off:

Thank you, Mr. Mason, for repainting the fleet car pink just for me.

The photo was that pink Cayenne.

The comments were all the same, every one of them: together at last.

Even with the wedding so close, James still hid my existence from everyone.

He always said his career was on the rise and it wasn't the right time to go public with a relationship.

Now I understood. Keeping it quiet was so he could carry on with Janet.

When I got home and saw the whole place done up in cheap Barbie pink, my vision went black and my legs nearly gave out.

Janet came toward me, all smiles.

"Rosa, I spent two days fixing up the wedding suite as a surprise. Surprised?"

The down payment on this place came from five years of work, scraped together a little at a time.

From picking the location to the design to the renovation, I'd handled every bit of it myself.

For this wedding I'd called in family connections and flown in an overseas team to decorate it.

In two days, all of it was ruined.

James looked at me, displeased. "Go wash up. You're covered in mud, it's filthy. Don't track it onto the carpet Janet just laid down."

I stepped onto the paper carpet, and before I'd even put my weight down, it split open.

"Where's everything I picked out? The cashmere rug, the crystal chandelier, the linen bedding, where did it all go?"

James's face changed, and he snapped at me:

"Those luxury goods all went to the company to be sold."

"Rosamond, didn't you promise me you wouldn't buy luxury goods anymore! And now look at what you're doing!"

"If Janet hadn't caught it, I still wouldn't know you were behind my back, throwing money away!"

"It's my own money I'm spending!"

Seeing this, Janet stepped up and took my hand.

"Rosa, don't be upset. Mr. Mason meant well. He knows you love pink, so he had me decorate it this way."

"Who said I love pink? Haven't you always been the one who loves pink?"

Janet put on a shy, embarrassed look. "Then Mr. Mason just has too much on his mind and got it mixed up. Let me apologize to you on his behalf."

"What gives you the right to apologize for him?"

The words had barely left my mouth when James kicked over the glass jar in the corner and shattered it.

Paper cranes scattered across the floor.

They were a gift I'd given him on our first anniversary as a couple.

A thousand paper cranes, each one holding 365 days of longing.

He once told me it was the best gift he'd ever received.

And now he was grinding my girlish heart under his shoe.

The old sweetness and this present cold tore at my heart, back and forth.

"Janet is your best friend, and she's my right hand, the one who's done the most for this company. She has every right to do anything on my behalf!"

The one who's done the most?

If my collection hadn't been the company's first batch of stock, it would have gone under long ago.

Watching the home I'd designed so carefully torn apart, I felt the dizziness sweep over me again.

When I opened my eyes again, James was sitting at the edge of the bed, watching me with worry.

Seeing me come around, he got up and brought over a bowl of noodles.

"Rosa, you're always skipping meals to lose weight. Your blood sugar's dropped again, hasn't it."

I'd fainted because they'd hit me on the bike and hurt my head.

The explanation never made it past my lips.

"Eat up," he said. "It'll go cold."

I took the noodles, and a small warmth rose inside me.

"How long has it been since you last made me noodles?"

Since he'd started the company, he'd been run off his feet, too busy to string two sentences together with me, let alone cook for me.

Just then the bedroom door flew open.

Janet rushed in, wearing a slightly awkward smile.

"Mr. Mason, why did you give Rosa the noodles I didn't finish?"

"Rosa, don't eat them. I have a cold. I don't want to pass it to you."

I poked at the noodles, saw the half-bitten egg sitting in the bowl, and my stomach turned. I dropped to my knees beside the trash can and gagged.

Even the noodles he'd brought me were secondhand.

Janet hurried over and patted my back.

"Don't be upset, Rosa. Mr. Mason only gave them to you because he didn't want them to go to waste."

James gave a cold snort. "Leave her be. Spoiled little princesses like her are just precious about everything."

"Rosamond, if you can't stomach a bowl of leftover noodles, what are you going to do about the hundred tables of leftovers from the wedding banquet?"

Janet chimed in soothingly. "Rosa, maybe you don't know this, but leftovers are perfectly safe to eat once they've been heated through."

"I promise it won't embarrass you."

James nodded his approval. "Janet really does know how to run a thrifty home."

"Pity some people will never learn."

I can't learn. And I don't want to anymore.

My phone chimed.

That person had sent over the wedding banquet menu.

A sixteen-course international tasting menu, with cold dishes, hot soups, and desserts all accounted for.

At the bottom, a single line:

Not enough? Tell me what else you want and I'll have the private chef add it.

A man I'd never even met could be this thoughtful.

Set side by side, it was almost cruel.

When night fell, James actually carried Janet over and laid her down beside me, on the bridal bed.

Even though I'd already decided to leave, seeing the two of them so close still sent a sharp ache through my chest.

"Rosamond, what's with that look?"

"Things have gotten this far, and you're still throwing a jealous fit?"

James pulled the blanket up over Janet, his eyes full of tenderness.

"Janet's running a fever. She can barely stand, so I had to carry her to the bed."

"If you don't want to sleep next to her, go to the couch."

Janet struggled to sit up. "Leave the master bedroom to the two of you. I'll be fine on the couch."

James pressed her back down onto the bed, and his cold gaze swept over me.

"Rosamond, are you going to the couch or not?"

"Back in college, when you were sick, Janet carried you down five flights of stairs."

"Now she has a cold, and you can't even be bothered to look after her!"

It was the dorm head who'd carried me down those five flights. Since when did that become her good deed?

I said nothing more and walked straight out of the master bedroom.

I sat down on the couch and looked around the room.

Discount-app price-match coupons were scattered across the floor.

On the plant stand sat the secondhand porcelain Janet had dug up somewhere.

Even the toilet had been swapped out for a used one.

James used to praise my taste in design again and again.

Now nearly everything that was mine had been hauled away, and all that remained was that bed, loaded with the memory of our nights together.

And even it now carried someone else's scent.

James came out of the master bedroom and walked straight into me, my face streaming with tears.

"It's not that serious, is it? I'm only looking after your best friend for you. Is that worth crying over?"

I wiped at my eyes and realized I hadn't even known I was crying.

"James, let's break up."

"Mr. Mason! I'm hungry!"

He didn't catch the part where I said break up, and answered the call into the kitchen.

I stood in front of the mirror in the living room. The wound at my temple was still seeping blood.

The injury was right there, plain to see, and yet he was so wrapped up in Janet's cold he never asked about it once.

Right on cue, my phone pushed a new post to my feed.

Bowl number 158 this year. My midnight snacks are officially covered by a certain someone~

I tapped into the account.

A couples' account with fifteen thousand followers.

Every day the blogger posted the noodles her boyfriend cooked for her.

And the bowl on camera today was one I'd shaped myself in Charleston.

I read through every single post like I was punishing myself.

Trying to find the man he used to be in the scraps another woman put on display.

So his love had never disappeared. He'd just given it to someone else.

The next day I called an agent and put the house and car up for a rush sale at half the market price.

Anything tainted, anyone tainted, I didn't want it anymore.

It wasn't until the bridal studio called that I remembered today was the day for the wedding photoshoot.

I was about to cancel when the voice on the line spoke first.

Miss Mann, Mr. Mason changed the outdoor location you'd booked.

Changed it to where?

She clearly found it hard to get out.

To a spot next to a junkyard

Mr. Mason said it's to promote an eco-friendly message.

I know you always wanted that castle look, Miss Mann, but our wasteland style photographs beautifully too.

I'm sorry, Miss Mann. Mr. Mason really paid us a lot.

I didn't say anything. I just hung up.

If I didn't pull myself out now, this secondhand wedding would become the biggest joke in New York.

A text came in from James:

You've got ten minutes. If you're not here by then, forget the shoot.

I didn't reply. Half an hour later, Janet sent me a photo.

She was wearing my couture gown, kissing James beside a dumpster.

Rosa, if you don't come the deposit won't be refunded either, so to save you two some money I had no choice but to sacrifice myself and step in. ~

Mr. Mason says we can just AI face-swap it later.

PS: and I even managed to talk Mr. Mason into letting you wear the couture gown for photos without all the hassle. Don't thank me too much.

On her feed, she started showing off the freshly printed wedding photos.

Accidentally got married.

As I scrolled, I liked it by accident.

James's call came in at once.

His ringtone was a voice clip I'd recorded.

Baby, hurry and pick up.

The tenderness of the ringtone made his cold voice now feel all the sharper.

What's that like supposed to mean? Do you know you made Janet cry?

Just because I liked it?

Rosamond, how many times do I have to say it? Janet and I are just normal friends. Stop being so petty and paranoid.

Fine.

My short answer left James at a loss for words.

After a moment, he added: Go apologize to Janet.

I didn't apologize. Seeing that I wouldn't listen, James was so angry he blocked me outright.

Before he did, he left me one message.

You're being so unreasonable. I won't be coming home until the wedding. Think long and hard about what you've done.

All the better. With him gone, it was easier for me to sell the house and car, and easier to get the next wedding ready.

On the day of the wedding, James finished his morning meeting and got ready to drive to the venue.

Janet had packed his schedule so tight that he could only spare the two hours at noon to get married.

As for the customary rituals, the door games, fetching the bride, he'd cut all of that long ago.

Rosamond loved him too deeply to ever care about those empty formalities.

Before he even reached the car, James ran into Janet, her eyes rimmed red.

She showed him a photo of the welcome area.

The bride's face was still Janet's.

Mr. Mason, the AI face-swap failed, and the bride's name got printed as mine too.

James fell for this act of hers, and he soothed her:

It's all right. So, would you be willing to take Rosamond's place and go through the ceremony with me?

Of course I would. It's just that Rosa will be upset, won't she.

James frowned and pulled Rosamond out of the block list.

Leave the gown behind and head home first. Janet hates to see you worn out playing the bride, so she's willing to take the weight off you.

He was pressed for time. He fired it off and shut his phone, never seeing the bright red exclamation mark.

It was only when he reached the venue that he found Rosamond, dressed in full splendor, standing in the welcome area.

That magnificent gown, he'd never seen it before.

His first reaction was that she'd gone and wasted money again.

But that lush beauty stirred something in him, too, and brought back the first time they'd met.

These past few years, maybe he'd been too hard on her about spending.

She loved looking beautiful, and yet she'd given up dressing up for his sake.

He was just about to speak, to win her back, to have Rosamond go through the ceremony with him instead of leaving it to Janet.

Then his gaze caught the groom standing beside her, and his pupils shrank in an instant.